October buddies??

[jstrandlund]

Jen and Racheal, Well it looks as though we have a trend here. We went in for our six week scan today and was told that there is no fetal sac. I now have to wait to see if the pregnancy resolves itself or I will have to have a D&C. Right now I think I am too numb to accept this or to really feel it to be able to deal with it. Dh and I decided once this is over to take some time off from the whole baby issue. For the past 4 1/2 years I have been on some type of medication to treat infertility or cyst so it's about time to give my body, mind and heart some time to heal. I am trying to believe that God has a plan and this is part of it but I sure wish he would let me in on the plan to help me get through this pain. I pray that we will all become stronger from this and someday have our dreams come true.
To those of you with BFP's I pray your beanies continue to grow strong and healthy!!

[nictor]

Hi ladies how are you..

Jen1d..im so sorry for your BFN,life is so unfair sometimes,hugs to you and DH..

jstrandlund,Jen,Racheal..nothing i can say will ease your pain,but be assured we are all thinking of you and sending lots of love..xx

Brit,HUGE CONGRATS,hope you have a happy healthy pregnancy..

BecP,glad your scan went well and you saw your little beanie..

Thook,Jeck and everyone else,thanks for asking and yes i go for ER friday at 8am,ive been through this twice before(my 3rd cycle was FET),but im so nervous,i cant think straight,if we gat a BFN again i think that will be it for us no more fertility tmt
So ive been to the chapel 3 times this week (im not usually a church goer) and ive prayed so hard to God,St Gerrard,and to my Grandma,who all mediums and spiritulists tell me is with me always,i hope someone is listening..

Take care my friends,Love as always,Nicola..xx

[thook]

Jill- I'm so so sorry to hear your news. Please know that your in our thoughts and prayers for this difficult time. Just keep in mind that God has a reason for everything that happens.... try and stay strong and keep us posted as to what your next steps will be.

Brit- those are great numbers for your little beanies heart beats! Good luck with everything and please keep us posted on your little ones.

Nicole- good luck tomorrow at your ER please keep us posted on everything. I'll also say a pray for you tonight too....

Actually I'm going to say a prayer for everyone on this thread tonight... that all our wishes and dreams come true one way or another.

Tasha

[jeck]

Jill
I am so sorry this happend to you! Sending you a big hug!! Yes, I know it is so hard to stay faithful and believe that this part of God's plan for us... I have no idea why some of us have to go thru this... Its hard I know... But your right God does have a wonderful plan for you!! I will pray for him to guide and direct you and for you to be content in his plan for you...

I know that I am a stronger person and it has drawn me closer in my relationship with God and maybe that is why I had to go thru this...

I will keep you and DH in my prayers.

For those of you reading this, please say a special pray for all the wonderful ladies on this board that have gone thru this infertility rollercoaster to be drawn closer to God and find comfort in him and to open our heart to his wonderful plan he has for us...

[Jen J]

Jen1d-I am so sorry to hear of your BFN. I hope that you and DH are able to take some time together to recover and regroup-you are in my thoughts.

Rachel and Jill-I am deeply sorry for your losses. I don't have the right words but I wish you peace and time to find your strength again. You and your DHs are all in my thoughts as well.

Nictor-Good luck with your ER tomorrow! I'll be thinking of you and hoping for lots of great eggs and great fertilization!!

I hope everyone else is doing well and you are all in my thoughts. I hope that those of you following up with your REs are developing the right plans that work best for you. Those of you with BFPs, I wish you safe and healthy pregnancies. This first trimester is a killer in terms of worry!

Best wishes to all!!

[Ophee]

So much had happened here with my 3 days of hospitalization ...

Jen1d, I am so sorry that it doesn't work for you this time. I know this will be hard for you and your DH. Please hang in there .... you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Rachel, Jill, my heart really hurts for you and your DH. Your are all in my thoughts and prayers. A little time off is good ... wish you have a good time with your DH.

Nictor, wish you good luck!! The 2ww is really difficult.

I was put in hospital when I started spotting Monday night and then started bleeding on Tuesday morning. Even though my doc gave me a scan and all the beanies are still around, he was still very concern, gave me a strong shot and sent me straight to hospital for bed rest.

He is a very nice doctor, I feel so lucky to have him as my doctor. He will continue to be my OB. All the nurses in this clinic are awesome too. There is a 24 hours number which I can reach him anytime if there is anything not right. Both the doctor and the nurses told me that I should have called them on Monday night when I started spotting instead of wait till Tuesday morning. He would have check on me right then and it's dangerous to wait. They are really so nice!!

It was not a planned u/s, but we were all very shocked with this scan. 3 beanies were expected ... but in fact it turned out to be 4. Ouch!!! I still cannot believed this. 1 of the beanie's sac didn't show up in very good shape, so the doctor suspected that it's this beanie that make me bleed. We can see the 5th circle in the scan, which is suspected to be the blood from the bleeding. It's really crowded in there, the doctor had to move the sac to really measure them all. 2 of the beanies are in a good position where the hb can be seen. The other 2 are on the side, so cannot see the hb. I really do not know how I should feel now, I am so confused!!

From what Rachel mentioned, if the beanie size is smaller than expected, it could turned out to be m/c, I really started to worry as I think all my beanies are not in the right size yet.

My all day morning sickness is bad and getting worse. I am always hungry, but can eat. That's horrible. We were joking that some beanies like me to eat and some don't, so I have this mixed feeling.

[txpacotaco]

Wow!!!! How exciting & scarey & - just, wowie zowie!

PLEASE don't let my situation scare you. Remember that (a) I am 40 years old; (b) I smoke and take medication that I don't have the option of discontinuing; and (c) ours was a singleton. Many rules about pregnancy change when you introduce multiples into the picture. The wonder would have been if our first attempt at IVF has been totally successful, and we're not overly surprised that this time didn't work for us (next time, there will be no smoking, but that's another story).

I really wish I had come straight out last week and asked my doctor if my fear was justified rather than waiting an entire week to find out it was. Your doctor sounds wonderful - would you feel comfortable calling him for some reassurance about the size of your embryos? I'll bet that's low on the list of his worries.

Hang in there - you are such an amazing, intelligent, healthy person and I know this situation has got to be so stressful and worrisome but I'm certain you can make it thru!!

Take care -

Rachel

[Jen1d]

Hi girlss

Thanks for all your thoughts for me and dh.

Have been feeling really low and can't seem to pick myself up this time. Just feel this world is crap and so unfair. There are so many people out there with loads of kids and all we want is one chance at being parents, thats not selfish, is it?
I don't know if i have the strength to go through another cycle. I can deal with all the treatment but the 2ww kills me.
This guilt thing is also pulling me down and i so desperately want to give my dh the baby he would love to have.
We have to do the hosp pt tomorrow and call with the NEG news then i can get another app with the Doc to decide where we go from here. What worries me is that i am now on the highes dose of Gonal F and my eggs are not the greatest. Just wonder if there is any point in continuing to try again and getting more heartche?????????????

For all you girls in America, is there a higher success rate than in Britain and why do you get to put more than 2 embies back?? Also we have cousins in San Franscisco and Seattle, do you know of any great clinics there with good success rates? Thanks for your help

Will catch up soon when i'm feeling stronger

Love Jen x

[Charity]

Jen1d...I'm so sorry for your loss sweetie. You got me crying again, darn it...I understand, so well, where you're coming from. All the same questions, all the same feelings, and all the same worries.

I honestly don't think there is necessarily any better country to have IVF done, because it's so clinic and patient dependent. If we all had the same body chemistry and the same issues with infertility it would be so much easier to measure who's better. But when you have so many variables, there's no telling. If you want to look at flat birth rates, I do think the US is more successful, but that could be because we allow for more embies to be put back. It may also be because there's more competition in this field in our country, so if clinics don't show results, they are never going to survive as a business. In the US, we have the CDC monitoring the outcome of IVF throughout the nation. Clinics are required to report all their results for a calendar year to this government agency. These reports are compiled and are available to all consumers, so clinics know each their "statistics" for success are being viewed by all potential customers. Not sure if there's a centralized database where clinics are being compared in your country, but our sample is a lot bigger regardless with our population being so significant in number, making our ability to compare statistics unreliable. Goes back to the old scientific approach that the larger the sample, the more accurate the statistical information is. If a smaller sample had a "bad year", that comparing apples and oranges. Not a fair approach to analyzing the data. Anyway, that's my take on that part of your question. I can send you websites of some clinics that I did find in those two areas you mentioned if you would like. Just let me know, hon...

On your question about why we can put more than 2 back...I THINK the reason they allow more than 2 embies transfered is based on our medical system. We don't have a social system that covers infertility, so it's basically a private matter and primarily private funds paying for the procedure. When the government isn't the one footing the bills, they have a tendency to stay out of these types of controversial areas. Mostly for fear of not getting re-elected, but regardless of the reason, it's a private decision that they are leaving to the doctors and patients to make. At least for now...I know my clinic would not have allowed me to put back more than 2 for my first round for my age group and the reason for infertility being unknown (basically not considered severe at that stage). With having a poor outcome, and my increasing age, they will likely allow me to increase that number my next go round. Then again, I never made it to the transfer stage, so depending on the quality of the embies (if any), they may still only let me put 2 back... But that's a clinic specific decision. I know the CDC and other agencies are highly encouraging doctors to refrain from having multiple births as a result of IVF, but again, depending on an individuals reasons for fertility, they're leaving it a decision a doctor will make based on the patient history.

I hope I didn't bore you to death, but thought I'd give you a couple of possible answers...Not sure if they will help, but in my opinion, I think you're probably okay right where you're at, and this is just going to be a harder hill for you and others like us to climb...As if infertility and IVF themselves alone are such a hill, the powers that be have given us an extra steep one to climb. I'm so hoping for all of us, the answers will come (along with that baby we want to love so much), and we'll be better for it...You take care my dear, and hang in there...I felt like life might not be worth living after the first failure, and I know a second would crush me, but as you've already experienced, time does heal so much of those wounds. I hope each day brings you just a little more peace the one before. Hang in there...All my best...

[Nance]

Good Afternoon Everyone,

I have not been posting too much lately but I wanted to just give my deepest sympathies for those of you with bad news over the last few days. I am so sorry for your losses and the heartache you must be feeling. I wish there was something I could do or say to make the pain less but I know that only time will do that. Please take the time to grieve any way you have to. I will say a prayer for you all that you will have the strength to get through this and continue the pursuit of your dreams.

Ophee - Oh my goodness. I could not believe it when I was reading your post. Your head must be spinning. I can imaging how overwhelmed you must feel. Just try to get as much rest as possible and have faith that everything will work out the way it should. I will say a prayer for you and your beanies.

All my best,
Nance

[AuntyPebbles]

Hi Lady's i see a lot of you are having a rough time im so sorry for all you are going through i wanted to pass this on and hoep it helps in some way

O most holy apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus -- People honor and invoke you universally, as the patron of hopeless cases, of things almost despaired of. Pray for me, for I am so helpless and alone. Please help to bring me visible and speedy assistance. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly (state your request) and that I may praise God with you always. I promise, O blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, to always honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to gratefully encourage devotion to you by publishing this request. Amen.

love to all Aunty

[nictor]

Aunty,i LOVED that prayed am going to copy it and say it every day and hope someone is listening..

Well Ladies,sorry ive not posted before now,but ive had a terrible time,my left ovary just wouldnt play ball and what problems they had getting to it,came out of there pouring of blood and in agony,and today it feels worse..

Out of all my follies they got 4 eggs which im gutted about,but clinic called this morning and theyve all fertilized,so we'll see what happens now my ET is Mon at 11am,please please say a prayer for me that this time i get that BFP ( sorry if im sounding selfish)

Will post more later when im up to sitting at computer..

Take care love Nicola..xx

[Jen1d]

Charity - Thank you so much for taking time to expain everything to me, it was really helpful.
It just seems so crazy that Britain is the place ivf was pioneered and we are sooo behind.
Anyway i am feeling a bit stronger and we have decided to try again. Hope our 4th time will be a BFP
Good luck with you cycle, everything is crossed for you.

Nictor - Hang in there buddy. You are not being selfish, only wanting what the rest of us want. Good luck for Mon

Catch up soon

Love Jen x

[jeck]

nictor
I am so sorry that ER was so horrible!! I am so glad they were able to get the 4!! Remember honey it only takes 1!!! You take care and rest up, and I will be thinking of you on Monday!!!!

Aunty
Hey Honey!! What a beautiful prayer, thanks so much for sharing!!! I can't wait to stalk you when you start your cycle!!! Hope you are taking full advantage of your down time!!!

Charity
I am declaring you the official researcher of all questions!!! You always amaze me with your knowledge!!! You throughly do your research!!! Hope all is will with you and I am so hoping this cycle is the one for you!!!

Jen1d
I am so sorry that you are so down, but it is to be expected! I know it so hard and I hated hearing take time and give yourself a break, when all you want is to be preggers right NOW! But actually giving yourself some time helps get your mind around things and makes you stronger... As far as the US have better success rates, I have no idea! I live in the US and I know my clinic determines how many to put back based on several factors, age, quality of embies, and number of cycles. On fresh cycle they only want to put back 2 on me because I am only 31... On my FET they transferred 3 because 1 was excellent, 1 was good and 1 was ok... If I do FET again they most likely will transfer 3 again... Also, do they suppress you for your cycles??? If they do I wonder if a flare cycle would work better for you... maybe give you a better chance of producing more eggs... Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing....

ophee
Holy Crap Girl!! I am so sorry you have been in the hospital and having to deal with spotting, I know that is so scary!! I hope the 2 with hb's continue to do well and if the other 2 are meant to be for them to be alright as well but if not for it not to affect the 2 with hb's... When do you have another scan? Keep us updated honey and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!

[Jen1d]

Hi Jeck

Your clinic sounds fab. Wish i could have more than 2 embies put back in or they could decide depending on grade. Am going to talk to my Coc and complain loudly

Yes i take nasal sprays to suppress me then injections to boost all the embies to grow. What is a flare cycle? Sounds ggod if it will get me more eggs.

Thanks for your help

Love Jen x