Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

[little R]

ARGHH!
Am so angry! What the heck do we have to do for this to work????

Oh, Jen... I am so sorry...I second Lola... no rash decisions until you feel ready to take them.
We love you...
I am so so sorry.... my heart aches for you...
Sending you the warmest hugs from Dubai...

I can't spend long...when it rains it pours, DH & I are flying back to Switzerland tomorrow for 2 nights to attend his Grandmother's funeral...
We got the news last night. Sad times..

You take care my dearest Jen.... will try and be in touch, but will be travelling and at DH's side so not much time around a computer.

I'll be back on Monday.

MUCH love...

Littles

[Walshy]

OH SH!t BUM POOP AND AARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (I want to write other words but can't)

Ms Beautiful Jen I am so sorry that you have to go through this again....This just sucks. I can not understand why we still have so much bad luck, for frecks sake man i am so angry.
There is nothing that I can say that will make the pain any less. Please know that I am thinking or you and that I hope each day that it gets a bit easier. This TTC rollercoaster sucks and I want off.

I am feeling your hurt all the way in Oz......... I just had to check the site today it was like I knew one of our girls was upset..... Please take care of your heart and you and DH take time out.

I second Lola and Little R don't make any decisions now as I have come to relization that every day it hurts a bit less.

Good luck Ms Lola I hope that you can bring luck to this little bunch of Octoberoonies.......Do you have a date set yet for your little eggs to go back in? Are you going to take them to blast?

Love to you all and I am going to try and stop feeling sorry for myself and beat this little monkey and get this damn BFP.

Take care lovelies, Walshy

[Inhale, Exhale]

Oh Crap on a Plate!! I did not want to come back to this news!!!!!!

jens- am so, so sorry for you and hubbykins . apologize I wasn't here to tell you yesterday. am sending oodles big monster hug.....I echo the wise words from Lola- take some time before you try to make big decisions.... we will all be here to listen, thinking of you and being really p-o'd for you too.. just crappin unfair! Don't dissappear on us though... we would misss you too-too much!


Well, this blows!! what the curses !?! our little misfits group has had the worst luck in the history of groups.. no pressure Loos, but we need some good news, it is time... so you are definitely getting a BFP!! I demand it! and so it will be. Off to the magi bubble, we are takin no chances!

Oh Walshy... you do not know how you made me smile with your kick a little booty-tude. I Likey and it is so, so good to be hearing it from you! Thatta Girl!

You too Littles... looking at jumpin back in? it will seem like vacation after your hours spent in brain expanding time... am sorry about DH's grams.. give him Big Squeeze Hug from all.

Will give a check back later
Steph

[lolajones]

Hey Jemla - how you doing today sweetbean? Thinking of you - know you are hurting but also know that you are Tough Cookie (TM) and will bounce back like the prize fighter you are. Hope you're having a healing time, snuggled up with dh and a ton of full caff lattes. Pop in if you feel up to it and let us know you're ok. xxxxx

So the troops come when called!!! Sir, yes sir! Good to know.....
Littles - sorry to hear about dh's gran, sad times indeed - good luck just around the corner for you - simply got to be.
Walsh - so good to hear a bit of fighting talk! And good to get you back our oz sunshine lady, we've missed you.

Steph - I need that bubble!!! Work a whirling rollercoaster, great distraction but worried I should be taking it easier? Tough cojones dudes! Will chill at weekend. I'm glad you're so positive about my cycle, I'm zoned out and forgetting it..... but inside a secret fire of hope crackles - thats whats causing my hot flushes. How your bump? You never share....

OK my warriors!! My quest for Karma and giving it a good A kicking is ongoing - I will of course provide regular updates
Adieu!

Lola
xxxxxxxx

[Jen1d]

Thanks for all your thoughts for me and dh.

Have been feeling really low and can't seem to pick myself up this time. Just feel this world is crap and so unfair. There are so many people out there with loads of kids and all we want is one chance at being parents, thats not selfish, is it?
I don't know if i have the strength to go through another cycle. I can deal with all the treatment but the 2ww kills me.
This guilt thing is also pulling me down and i so desperately want to give my dh the baby he would love to have.
We have to do the hosp pt tomorrow and call with the NEG news then i can get another app with the Doc to decide where we go from here. What worries me is that i am now on the highes dose of Gonal F and my eggs are not the greatest. Just wonder if there is any point in continuing to try again and getting more heartche?????????????

Anyway Loops, sorry to be so negative but am still here rooting for you. I so hope that another Octo Babe can have some good news soon.

Catch up soon

Love Jen x

[AMck]

Ladies, hope you don't mind me gatecrashing your thread to say hello to Jen.

Jen, I was so sorry to see your news. This is crap, no other words will do. You are in my thoughts and prayers.Take care of yourself and DH.

Hugs
Anna x

[Inhale, Exhale]

Hi Girls

jens- I was so glad to see that you checked in!! you made my day. I was afraid that you might dissappear for awhile and we would have to miss you, along with missing Walshy and Littles........ please don't leave us!! Vent away.. Life is Crapster.. !! If I were you I wouldn't even think about the next cycle yet.. of course at this point you don't have the strength.. but you will eventually, give yourself time to be mad, sad, angry about the unfairness of this cycle first.. then make decisions.. but you are strong enough!! You are a Tuber, we wouldnt let you in the group if you were a sissy! no room for wusseys...

Loolers... my luvey dovey with peachy bottom... hmm... decisions... stay busy or take it easy... stay busy or take it easy?? you know I am personally a fan of stay busy with a little side of take-it-easy-me-time! all the better moments to savor when they are a little bonus. Just make sure you grab 'em while you can! if hands aren't too full with Demetrio and lessons.. what is it now? bullriding? deep sea diving? training for hot dog eating contest? You are right about me not sharing... I hated hearing about pregger details when I was cycling.. therefore i dont share here.. I want to be a support, not an extra source of grief.. just know that everything is going good.. 7 weeks left! keep up the tushy-kicking PMA.. it gives me a tingle!

As for me.. I am off to enjoy my weekend.. Sunday will be a day of lunch and shopping with the girlfriends... I love girl time!

Hi ya to Little, Little and Walshy.... don't dissappear again...please!

Steph

[Jen1d]

No Sissy's around here.
Yes i'm hurting and probaby more than last time. I'm finding it soooo hard to pull myself up agAin this time but we won't give in.
There is no reason i can't have my own children and although my eggs are deteriorating fast, i still have some time and we will get our baby.
We are going to try again and if my eggs are then no good we will use a donor. MY DH AND I WILL GET THE BABY WE SO DESPERATELY WANT.

Anna - Thanks for your kind thoughts. Can you tell me where you went for your ivf abroad? Do you think it was better than Britain.

Love Jen x

[lolajones]

Go Jen!!!!!
Thats the spirit - you will have a child!!!
Y'know, you say its been so hard this time but look! Already with the fightin talk and the plans! And its only been a couple of days!!! You are amazing.
So. I know this is a bit prem but when you reckon you'll go again? ASAP or are you going to have a rest for a wee while? I'm just thinking about our 4th time lucky raft....
And X factor tonight - I bet those ridiculous McLame brothers stay in despite churning out another substandard performance, sigh.

Steph - enjoy your girlfriend sunday, there is nout finer. I think I'm with you on the keepin busy philosophy - its really making a diff this cycle, much chirpier (until the 2ww.....) even Demetrio has taken off his crash helmet.You should share more - you are one of us and not random-preg-woman-on-street-built-purely-to-cause-distress-in-moments-of-self -loathing. I'm glad all is going well - can't wait for little Faith to pop out and say Hola!

Walsh n the littles - aloha! Come back soon.

Ahhh, saturday. I have had mega lie in and now have sleep hangover. Love the weekends - finally get some zzzzzz's. Am continuing the deny the reality theme of this here cycle 3 and am off shopping. Then ginormio hot choc from the bucks. Friends birthday party tonight, will avoid alcohol though like a very good girl..... pfft. Will miss X factor but luckily it seems to be repeated pretty much around the clock on various dig channels - woohooooo!!!

OK my beautiful warriors princesses! Hasta luego
Lola
xxxxxxx

[Jen1d]

Loops - Had to take hpt this morning then called the hosp. They informed me to call the Consultants sec on Monday then i will get an app with her hopefully in the next month.
We usually have to wait for about 3 months until the next cycle but i usually manage to wangle a 2 and a half month. They feel i should crack on as my eggs are ok just now but wont last forever (they saw this when i had my op).

Ps Leave the Mac brothers alone. Yes they are crap and i think they are going tonight but they piss Cowell off so its good.

As for Jan Cry Baby Winger Leamen on Celebrity she needs a thump

Have a good weekend

Love Jen x

[Walshy]

I like that there are no wusseys around here....

Jen you are far from a wussey already being so optomistic when it has taken me nearly 2 months to even get back on the kick arse horse and try to think about it again.... You are an inspiration to me.... Take care of yourself and I am thinking of you.... With your eggs the first round when I did it my eggs were bad quality this time though they were much better so maybe it changes. I was also taking vitamins and eating rather healthily so maybe that has something to do with it....I have been on 400iu for all my cycles of IVF and the 6 rounds of ovulation induction and my Dr has said that he has even went higher so don't worry some of us just need high doses.. I may go higher this time so that my cycle is shorter as opposed to the 21 days it usually takes..

Lllllllola only a few days til scan yay!!! Are we taking to blast and how many we putting back in. How are the hot flushes going??? It's cold over there at the moment so they would be coming in handy? My mum likes to call them power surges.... Let me know if you find karma because I would like a few words.

Littles how you doing hope your brain hasn't exploded and I am sorry to here about your DH grandmother...

Damn it this 4th time life raft is getting full there will be me, Littles and Ms Jen and of course Dem but he goes everywhere with us.

Steph not long now for you to be pushing breath pushing breath pushing (insert few screams wherever)... Have you got a birth plan or are you still in denial. I don't mind if you post whats going on with you as it is comforting knowing that atleast one of us has acheived our dreams and we can live vicariously through you and little Faith. I am not going to disappear again I just really do not have much to say but I do read regularly to see how you are all going....

Where is our photos Steph and Lola....We may have to have a strike on posting until you come through....

I think there is something wrong with my wasing machine as it seems to be shrinking all my clothes I really wanted to be skinny by round 4 but now I am hoping to not put on more weight then I already am. I just have no motivation at the moment i need one of those good disease that make you lose 10 pounds in a week but my body is too selfish to give any weight away.

I had a weird dream last night that I was going around telling everyone I was 12 weeks pregnant as I would have been 12 weeks this week and would have been telling them this time. Wonder if it means anything....

I have got my happy thoughts back as I now have a running joke with my friends that know about my TTC lark that they can google earth my vagina as everyone else has seen it so I told them they could feel free to log on and take a look

Well better go an pretend to iron.......later dudes..........

[Inhale, Exhale]

Hello Bananas!

Hows my lovins from the ovens today? Chipper?

Had lovely weekend of shopping and girl time, now am back at work... BUT, only for three days... then it is Turkey Day!! Hoorah for the Pilgrims and Indians!! I have them to thank for a 4 day weekend.. and lots of yummy food, food and more food. I am having thanksgiving at my house this year.. first time for that.. I guess I really am an adult now.. YIKES! Although I luv to cook.. so it will be fun.. if only I had a kitchen fairy to clean up the mess after I cook! so grocery shopping tonight... have to beat the turkey rush.

Jen- you sound like you are doing incredible!! you are one tough nut. already having an appt.. going again. I think you girls are amazing the way you keep on, keepin on. I do remember how emotionally exhausting it is... only the strongest have the kahunas to keep going after what they know they deserve and will have! you, my girls, are definitely the strongest.

Walshy- Of course your dream means something.. it means you will get preggers, doesn't take Freud to figure that one out! shrinking clothes phenom heh.. yeah, me too! I have gained 4 pounds in the last 2 weeks.. yes, 4 lbs in 2 weeks! that's crazy rabbit. I am going to have alot of weight to lose in about 7 weeks, so if you find that magic weight loss disease, please do keep a vile on hand for me But, I don't think you should worry about it.. as you are only going to get bigger after next cycle.... bring on the belly that can block the sun! As far as a brith plan for me... yep, I have one. It goes as follows... water breaks, have contractions, go to hospital, take every drug allowable by law and sneak the ones that aren't! I would luv to be one of the uber women who say they are going drug free, but I am a realist. If drugs are available, I will take them.. why deny their love? I will try to stay in the zen/yoga/breathig world as long as possible.. but i have a feeling that will only take me so far... like I said, a realist!

Looler My lovely Lady Hump... hi gorgeous! what is this talk of 4 time laft raft for you... oh no dumplin.. you will not be a member of that crew... Demmy will have to carry on without you... you will be on shore with beached whale belly! I too luv the weekends, for that exact same reason... sleep! I luv sleep. if I could marry sleep I would. Sleep and chocolate. what in life is better I ask.. well, ok, a good glass of wine may be better.. I would luv a glass of wine with Thanksgiving dinner.. miss the wine.. mmmmmm, wine. A glass or two or three of wine always made cleaning the house alot more fun... now its just me and my Lemon scented dusting polish. Have you told us the date of your next scan???

Littles- hi ya hun! come back to this craziness! it is getting fun around here again..

oh and walshy.. none of that "I have nothing to say" crap... as you can see, neither do I .. I just ramble on and make stuff up... keeps it interesting!

Yee-haw
Steph

[Jen1d]

Hi girls

Oh Walshy you made me laugh. Don't know if i should do the google thing, think thats best left to the imagination
Glad your feeling better about things, no 4 is not far away and we can be there together.
We can help each other with the weight thing. I have put on far too much and am on a mission to get rid of it sssssooooooooonnnnnnnnnn.

Loops - Scan away to great news and a BFP. We need some good news around here so bring it on. You don't want to be on the raft to no 4, its not big enough. We just need you here to keep us happy and positive with your little tot bouncing on your knee

Littles - How you doing. Wish i could swan off to Swizz all the time, your life sounds great with all this travelling. Think i need to find myself a pilot My Mum is desperate to know what part of Dubai you live in?

Steph - Your sleep in, ralaxation, coffee munching days are numbered----you lucky girls. Not long now, its so exciting. Have to remember and send us all a photo of mum and baba to our PM so get practicing now.

I agree with Walshy, a strike will happen if there is no photos in the next couple of weeks aaarrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhh i want to see you both.

So i went back to work today and was not looking forward to it but everything was fine. I called the Doc to make an appointment only to be told the first one would be 18th Dec. However she then rang back with a cancellation for today at 3pm So i scived off work and met the Doc. Spent quite a bit of time and she was very positive saying we get ok eggs and great fertilization so there is no reason not to try again. On raft no 4 its going to be different though. They will give us an ovulation kit then put me on hrt and only give me limited nasal sprays then start the injections the day after the sprays start. This apparently triggers the ovaries and boosts the eggs so hopefully we can get a few more. If i get a low amount this time then it probably means my eggs are deteriorating so that will be our last go at ivf unless i use a donor but we wont know this until the cycle and as the Doc said i'm looking far too far ahead, my eggs might be ok for a couple more years. Just like to keep her on her toes

So am feeling a bit better now i know i can start again IN FEBRUARY and praying it will work as it might be our last or 2nd last try. So girls you will have to put up with me until then

Oh ye and she said i could have more pessaries so i don't bleed early as this always makes me worried and terrified to go to the loo. Just means i won't (or shouldn't ) bleed before my test date and can take the test as normal. Yeeeehhhhhhhhhh will finally get to my first test date

Ok will check on you all soon

Love Jen x

[camilla]

Ooops, I did it again! Got in touch the last time then went quiet on you for weeks again. Sorry girls, many apologies but it's finding the time when I've a million other things to prioritise. Please don't think I've abandoned you - NEVER!

Jen - Sorry to read your news. But, I was watching This Morning last week (whilst doing other stuff!) and Prof Winston was on talking about IVF etc. He actually said the quality of your eggs is not a big issue and said the grading of eggs wasn't a realistic measure of success. So maybe you shouldn't worry too much. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen. Well done for getting an appt and talking things through with your doc. At least you know what the next steps are without having to wait weeks.

Hello everyone, good to see you all here.

Lola - Are you having FET soon? Don't want to miss it.

Glad to see Steph is on form. Not long now eh? Hope you can remain cheerful on less sleep!

Much love and a heap load of PMA.

Camilla xxxxx

[lolajones]

Aloha pop tarts!
Just a very quick one before I partake of the outdoors.
Had scan today - all bueno. Next scan Friday and possibly ET tuesday!! Which is a lot quicker than I anticipated so excited and now nervous! Argh!!!!
Anyway - will pop in later or morrow for the full 360

Love to my Obers!

Lola
xxxxxxx