not feeling good

michelle_in_scotland · Thu Oct 09, 2003 2:20 pm

Hi, i'd just like to thank everyone for the warm welcome and help you gave me in my "newbie" post. Many, many congrats to everyone who has just had positives, and to those on the 2ww i'm keeping everything crossed that you'll be next, everyone here has been through so much you deserve to have your dreams come true. I hope you don't mind (as you don't really know me) but i've been feeling a bit "funny" lately and could do with getting it off my chest. I've not been feeling too well, my AF (getting the hang of the lingo, lol) was due on Saturday and i always start to feel down at this time of the month which i suppose is the norm for those ttc. The thing is, it's now Wednesday afternoon and AF still hasn't arrived. My cycle is usually pretty regular, usually a day late at the very most except this year, this is my 3rd very late AF. My 1st was the beginning of the year, we were getting closer to our first appointment and i know it was just the stress/worry of it but i was 17 days late, my Fiance decided he couldn't wait another day of my being late so he went and bought a hpt. It was the first test i'd ever done and i was so scared in doing it, i tried to put it off as i didn't want to know the answer, i thought if i don't do it there is still the slightest hope i could be pg but if i do it i know it'll be neg. Stupid i know, anyways, he finally talked me into doing it and i knew what the result would be, it just confirmed it, negative. Later that night AF arrived, i couldn't believe it, i thought what a cheek. It was exactly the same when our first Glasgow ACU appt came, i was 14 days late, the consultant did a test and it was neg aswell and AF arrived that night. This time i don't know why i'm late, even though it's only 5 days, we've been to a lot of appts now and i wasn't late then. It's weird. I'm feeling really unwell too, been alternating between AF type pains and a sharp stabbing pain in my side, bad headaches, my lower back hurts (but i do suffer with back probs from time to time anyways) i'm just so exhausted and can't eat. The later AF gets the more i hope i could be pg, but i think the more i think about it the more stressed i get which causes me to be late and why after all this time would it suddenly happen when i know it can't due to my Fiance's condition and the fact we haven't used any form of contraception in 8 years, it's impossible. I'm probably just being stupid and over-reacting. I've more than likely just caught a bug and will feel better in a few days and no doubt after posting this AF will start. I think i'm just hoping for the impossible way too much and reading more into it than i would normally. Sorry for going on and on (i've a bad habit of doing that) and thanx for listening, i feel a bit better getting it all off my chest. Take care everyone Lotsa love Michelle xxx

Di · Post by Di » Thu Oct 09, 2003 2:32 pm

Hi Michelle, Glad you feel abit better for having got everything off your chest and hope my response helps a bit too! I can totally understand how tyou feel about not wanting to do a test - I'm the same going through tmt - I think the longer I don't know the longer I can pretend to be pg! It could be stress that affecting your af but it could also be that you're pg! - you won't know unless you test or your af starts. I too am up in Scotland - Livingston - and used to run the support group here - and the number of couple who did concieve naturally both after successfull tmt and in between tmt's was unbelievable! We've just had our 9th tmt - travelled down to The Park in Notts this time and am now 7weeks pg! When are you due back at your clinic? Have you had your bloods checked recently? Take care, Di

fiona_lk · Post by **fiona_lk** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 3:10 pm

Hi Michelle, I don't often post these days but I just wanted to say natural miracles do happen. My dh has only 2-3% viable sperm and after 8 years ttc and 2 failed IVF conceived naturally with his ex-wife (and as we thought it was so unlikely we unfortunately have a DNA test results to prove it!) and after ttc for 5 years with me plus 13 unsuccessful ART cycles, we also had a natural conception. We unfortunately lost this baby but that was likely to do with it being too soon after an ectopic. I don't want to give you false hope but providing you have no problems which are un-summountable (eg no tubes) it shows you just never know! On my 14th treatment cycle (3rd ICSI) in July we finally had our positive - never give up hope - its what keeps you going. Good Luck for the future Fiona xxx

michelle_in_scotland · Thu Oct 09, 2003 7:54 pm

Hiya Di and Fiona, we are due back at the clinic on the 27th but that's just for my Fiance to give a sample and then at the urology dept on the 13th nov to go over his results, his problem is retrograde ejaculation so they want to test the sperm in his urine. I haven't had any blood tests since July, the one where they test you in day 21 of your cycle, my results came back as satisfactory (whatever that means). That is the ONLY test i've been given throughout all these appointments. Does the satisfactory result mean they think i'm ok and have no problems? I was wrong in my first post, AF still hasn't arrived, i'm just going to try and not think about it (easier said than done though) like i said before, i think i've probably just caught a bug and feel run down because of it and that'll be why AF is late. I don't really want to get my hopes up coz i know i'll end up being upset when it does finally arrive. It's times like this that i wish i was a man, they have it much easier than us women, lol. You both sound like you've been through so much with all your treatments, and here's me moaning about being a few days late and feeling unwell but i would like to thank you for your kind words, you have given me so much hope that one day it'll be my turn. Many congratulations to you both, i wish you much luck and happiness. Take care, Lotsa love Michelle xxx

phil · Post by **phil** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 9:52 pm

hi michelle, we've not talked before but reading your message i know your feelings of frustration and the pain of late periods and negative hpt's. i want to mention something that helped me. i had extremely painful periods that some months were absolutely crippling. this was particularly bad for years after two seperate miscarriages. also, the start date was quite irregular (very early/very late) and many other symtoms not to be mentioned to the squemish. anyway, last november i was recommended by a nutritionalist to take agnus castus to regulate my pituary related hormones (primarily affects menstration). the change has been completely remarkable. it took about 3 cycles and my period is so very different. hardly any pain and alot more of a regular sort of cycle. also, i had my fsh level measured pre agnus castus and it was 6.5. i last had it done in May and it had amazingly reduced to 3.5. it might be worthwhile looking into, it certainly wont do you any harm. the other thing is ask your clinic about what sort of tests would usually be done for couples undergoing fertility treatment. i know that your fiance's condition is already known. but again there's no harm in asking particularly for you. at least it will put your mind at rest. good luck with your appointments and your treatments. best wishes, phil

bubblymichelle · Post by **bubblymichelle** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 11:12 am

Hi Michelle I know what its like to want to feel pregnant and just keep putting off the tests but the thing is you will need to do one sooner then later. I hope that this is your turn and that your dreams come true, I am hoping that AF will stay away for you. Please let us know how it goes. Love Shell. xx

michelle_in_scotland · Sat Oct 11, 2003 6:28 am

Hi folks, i woke up yesterday afternoon (must've been so tired i slept right through) i was absolutely full of the cold, so i think that's why i've been feeling as unwell. The results are now in .... AF showed her ugly head late last night. It's always such a let down when she appears, as i'm sure you all know, but hey, i guess it just wasn't meant to be at this time. I'm feeling bad enough with this cold so i'm gonna try and not let AF appearing get me down. Everyone here always says "think positive" so that's just what i'm gonna do ... it just means we have longer to save up for when our time does finally come. Well, i think i'll go back to bed for a bit Take care everyone and have a great weekend, Lotsa love Michelle xxx

Di · Post by Di » Wed Oct 15, 2003 11:31 am

Hi Michelle, How are you feeling? Hope your cold is better and that your AF has settled. Its just typical that when you're feeling down something else comes along to give you another kick!!! But hopefully its all PMA from here and that you'll receive some good news soon, Di

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