Message for Caz

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Sep 28, 2003 12:34 pm

Hey Tanya, Caz and Sarah! Thanks so much for your kind words it keeps me going in times of despair........so glad I found this website! Been up and down this week, just want to get this month over to find out what the results of this blood test will be, then we will know if there is even any point in ICSI......so annoying being helpless!! Roll on 17th of October! Jenx I'm off to do extensive research on TESE now......research is keeping me slightly sane!!!

caz1 · Post by **caz1** » Sun Sep 28, 2003 6:21 pm

HI gals- so so good to find you all! Please keep in touch - really keen to know how you all get on. My DH suddenly admitted how stressed he has been about the whole business (taken him nearly a year to face it!). we are thinking of some life style changes - possibly job changes to reduced stress. Money aint everything. Donor thing, still undecided. Looks like we are up for TESE number 2 in feb. Subject to what our new consultant dicovers when he looks at our embryologists notes from teh last tmt. He is a bit perpleexed that we only got to good embies from 12 eggs....maybe theres more probs that we dont yet know about. Well - I'm going to havea glass of vino and watch Corrie! By the way - is anyone else drinking?!....I have to admit that since my tmt failed I have been merryily back on the wine. Am I the ony one whos slipped?! Suppose I will have to get back into T total mode soon - not that it made any difference last time (by the way I'm not a total alci , in case you were wondering!!) Take care all Cazx

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 29, 2003 9:16 am

Hi Caz You're damn right it is good to find you all!! As for the alcohol thing, the andrologist.urologist has made my DH stop drinking for 3 months before the biopsy/TESE, so I stopped too, to help him....plus its no fun on your own.....plus I know I will have to stop at some stage and I am damned if they are going to delay whatever treatment is ahead of us by telling me I need to stop for three months before they start it, so I am one step ahead of them!! (and it is killing me.......everytime we got some bad news before, it was .......right, down to the pub. Now it is......cranberry juice in a wine glass!!)I have promised myself a bottle of Krug when this is all over!! As for the stress thing, I had a really stressful job in the pharmaceutical industry. I actually stopped it as we moved house to a different area, and decided to return to study instead (open learning).....as it turns out, I am so glad I did it.....I would be going off my trolley and probably have had the boot as I have recently developed the concentration span of a fly.......except for when it comes to obcessing about this subject! Speak soon Jenxx

becky · Post by **becky** » Mon Sep 29, 2003 10:18 am

Hello Girls...and an especially big hug for Caz.. The wedding went really well thanks, although it seems like it was months ago..DH had his first few drinks for 3 months as he did his sample the morning of the wedding. We now have the results..3 million and motility had also increased to 50% I think..abnormal was still fairly high at 95%..but at least is was a change in the right direction. Since we have spoken to DH's Dr and waiting to have a few blood tests.to makie sure that our health is back to normal since all of the treatment and to talk about having medicals for the adoption etc etc etc.I have changed from my Dr to DHs as he seems to be so much more helpful and knowledgable about the whole infertility thing. I am off work today with a horrible cold feeling sorry for myself catching up on phone calls and drinking lem sips....poor sorry self :(

..ok that is enough. I think that I caught it on the aeroplane..as have just got back from Jamaica and the Turks and Caicos yesterday..hence the no posting.. Not alot more to report on really..still waiting to hear if we have been selected to see a social worker yet to have a home visit for the adoption..but they are only selecting around 8 couples out of 50..so it may now be our time yet.. Fingers crossed Love Becky B

becky · Post by **becky** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 5:10 pm

Just bringing this up to the top...

caz1 · Post by **caz1** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 5:44 pm

HI there! Jen - great to have you here - we may have to start a new thread soon as this one getting loaded up! You're SO good about the non drinking. I was so good last time - but since it failed havent really managed to stay on the no drinking thing. MUST improve!! So sorry , have slightly lost track, is 17th a test date for your DH sperm count or when you start tmt? Sorry! Whatever I hope it goes well for you - keep in touch wont you. Hi Becks - WOW!! AMAZING news about yr husband - what do you think did the trick in improving his count - incredible!! I have to say I have lost all hope for us improving our situation. DH has had several tests and all zeros. Doing more just becomes totally demoralising. Has the test result changed your thought process at all - sounds like no from what you were saying about the adoption process. Good for you becks - a woman of steely determination! As for me, no news.....have been back to work for a few weeks and I have to say that it has been REALLY good , in the sense of, keeping my mind a bit off babies. The thing that REALLY gets to me tho, is I have this weird paranoia about friends getting pg. If anyone says "I have news", I immediately think they are gonna tell me they are pg and my heart sinks. Awful. WHAT is wrong with me. Just seems like ALL my friends are having babies or trying and sometimes I just think I'll be the only one left behind. That thought makes me so low that I just kind of know that if it came to it , I WOULD go the donor route . I dont think , for me, that I couldnt. God- I'm rambling sorry! Still waiting to hear our 2nd opinion from the Bridge centre. Then we'll make our decisions I guess. Lots of love Cazx

Lisa_P · Post by **Lisa_P** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 5:53 pm

Caz hi, What a long thread! I've just read your previous threads and thought I'd add my own experience regarding using a donor. I've just started my first donor iui treatment and for many people I'm sure that it's a very hard concept to understand. My dh has a daughther aloready from diui and that in itself has shown me the positives that can come from this type of treatment. My step-daughter could not love her daddy more and likewise from my dh's point of view.We've just started to tell her about the donor, she's 5 this week - and she's amazing. I realise everyone has different thoughts on using a donor, I just thought you may want to hear a postivie outcome and one which I hope will make our family complete. Good luck and all the best Lisa x

becky · Post by **becky** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 7:35 pm

Hi Lisa - what a wonderful story..I love to hear such heart warming tales... Caz..all my Dh did was not to drink..he is now on testosterone for...wait for it..floppy probs ..due to the stress of all of the past IVF..but it is now heading in the right direction...lol lol lol We have now heard from the adoption agency and we have been selected for the next stage..so have a home visit next Wednesday morning which we are both nervous about..then we go to panel on the 15th Oct to see if we are suitable to go onto the next preparation group in November. I feel so much better today..I met the girls at the local nursery where I have asked to do some work experience to gain knowledge for the adoption..they were so nice and the children amazing...going back in the morning for an hour. They are so understanding at how hard it is for me as the assistant manager is having her ec/et of her 2nd icsi at the moment. They have said that if I like it then I may like a job with them..yesterday that idea would have filled me with fear but today it sounds such a nice thing to do and would really help us with our adoption application..and I have already fallen in love with a few of the little ones..strange I know but the management are just so fantastic and talked to me about everything..they feel that they would rather have people like us then qualified people as we have so much more love and fun to give the children..and the children have so many hugs and fun to give us back. Caz ..I so appreciate what you say about dreading..the I have some news comment. My best friend has been trying for 7 months now and the last few weeks she has been really short on the phone and seemed distant..not sure if I am paranoid or if maybe she is pregnant..but although I know I will be a little sad..I really feel that I have come out of the other side and am so excited to have been chosen to adopt a special child. I hope that you are too able to suddenly deal with things alittle better..I just look back and realise how much I hated my life and resented everything. I must say in a funny kind of way I am so pleased to have been chosen to have experienced what I have done as I have grown a much stronger person and my dh and I are in a much deeper love than ever before and I treasure every minute of my life doing things I enjoy..soppy maybe but that is how I feel. Lots of love to you all..but still a special hug for Caz Becky B

becky · Post by **becky** » Wed Oct 01, 2003 3:09 pm

Just bringing this back to the top girls

caz1 · Post by **caz1** » Wed Oct 01, 2003 9:29 pm

Hello! Beckys, MY GOD I am so proud of you and we've never even met. You have a VERY sorted attitude, and actually , why the heck shouldnt you, sounds to me like you and dh have an increedibly exciting few months and awonderful outcome to look forward to. It must be so refreshing to be able to DO something, rather than just waiting for fate. Have they told you when things are likely to start happening and what age (and other relevant details!) child you might get. God, I'm excited just talking about it! Nursery thing sounds like a v good idea - you are pretty brave doing it tho. You really must have pulled thru to be able to cope so well. As always, big hug Lisa - so good to hear your experience. PLEASE tell us MORE! Does your 5 year old ask questions about where babies come from etc? Does she understand, does she repeat the donor thing to other people? With your experience, do you think it would be at all possible to be selective about who you told , or do you think a child would just tell random people?! HOW do you explain it? Does your DH ever have problems with the fact that shes not biologically his (sounds like not)? LOTS of questions - sorry! One question you TOTALLY dont have to answer.....did the donor issue put pressure on your DHs previous relationship? I only ask becaause I Have had concerns that it might do with me and DH (if he wasnt 100% happy about it) Gosh - amazing - so great to hear how well its worked out for you - really cheered me up. Your DH is obviously a bit of a hero. One other Q - how do people react when you tell them for teh first time ? Have you had any -ve reactions? Lots of love all HEY - how about we start a new thread?!! Cazxx

becky · Post by **becky** » Sun Oct 05, 2003 1:05 pm

Where are you Caz?

Lisa_P · Post by **Lisa_P** » Sun Oct 05, 2003 5:28 pm

Caz - loads of questions!!!!! that's fine, here goes with the answers: M y step daugther does ask about babies etc and with the help of the THIS IS ME book from DC Network, she's well aware that mummy and daddy couldn't have a baby the normal way and that some special men helped! she's quite technical talking about sperm and eggs! at such a young age. With regard to telling people, I've never her heard say anything to anyone but I guess that at the monent things don't actually mean that much. My dh and I will sometimes talk about the biological bit and suppose with me going through the treatment now, it has bought things to the forfront again. Though having said that I really can not see how dh would be any diferent with his little girl. She is his, yes, as she gets older there will be more questions though i'm sure we'll work through it all. When I asked dh the question about the diui having an effect on his marriage - he agreed that it was a fact. I was pleased to know this but I do have an advantage. I knew when I married dh what was in front of us and I'd done all of my thinking beforehand - she did not have that luxury. Plus, the fact that we are two completely different people and that dh and I have talked and talked. One thing I know for sure is that my dh wouod never, ever of agreed for us to go ahead with his if he tought it wouldn't work. There would be no way he'd put himself through that again. I hope that makes sense. Anyway the 3 of us have just had an excellent weekend. It was my step-daughters 5th birthday - birthday tea, day out to Alton Towers, new bike, visiting family. She was soooooo excited and had an excellent time. Hope all of that makes sense - if I can be of anymore help Take care Lisa x

caz1 · Post by **caz1** » Wed Oct 08, 2003 4:34 pm

Hello ladies! Sorry havent posted for a bit - works been a bit frantic and I can only post from home No news from me. Did I mention that we had a summary letter from our clinic, and they are now talking about Dhs sperm having poor morphology and THAT being a reason we got so few embies. Story seems to change everytime we speak to them - not massively reassuring. ANyway - doesnt really change anything. Still on for icsi start of next year, and donor (I think!) if that fails. How are you Becky - whats new? Hows it all going with the adop. process? Its your home visit soon no? PLEASE let in touch Lisa - thanks so much for your help - SO SO interesting. PLEASE stay in touch with us! Take care Cazxx

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Oct 20, 2003 6:53 pm

Hi Guys I thought I might creat a new thread as this one is getting a touch long!! For the sake of my simple brain forgetting what it is called I am going to start it as 'Message for Caz 2' Hope you join me, see you there!! JenF

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