February Has My Heart - February Cycle Buddies Wanted

[souris]

Hey guys!

Hope you are having a nice week end.
Not much going on here... I dont really know what is happening back at home. My sister had been weird since last week, telling me that there are changes in her life, but she would not tell me more. Then she avoided speaking to me (via MSN). I believed until now that she was pregnant, but could not bring herself to tell me because of my recent miscarriage. So i sent her an email, telling her that she could speak to me blah blah blah... but no answers...
SO I just called my mum, and my sis answered (they live 5 hours drive apart) but she did not speak to me and pretended that she could not hear me!! She put my mum on the phone and my mum told me she moved back (obviously she left her Bfriend). So i guess that was the mystery, but why did she pretend not to hear me? If she did not wanted to speak, she could have at least say hello and then tell me she did not want to speak about it, i would have understand, I am not stupid!
Oh well, i am not gonna get all worked up about it, I have enough trouble dealing with my emotions at the moment. Dh Daughter is being such a stupid teen at the moment, she just turn 18 and believe she can do what she wants now. (well she can if she gets a job! But she takes everything for granted, she dropped her studies, cant keep a job (well, not looking for one) doesnt help around the house )

Ok I better stop, because I am getting worked up now!

Hope you are all having a nice week end

take care ladies
xxx
souris

[Charity]

Hi Everyone:
The big "follow up" meeting wasn't much. Just another "unexplained" infertility procedure. The Dr. said all the labs equipment and procedures were fine, so the bottom line is he doesn't know what went wrong and why there was no fertilization. He did say trying a new protocol of skipping the Lupron is what he wants to do next.....for another $10,700.00 plus meds....plus ICSI. I could start as soon as I start my next cycle if I wanted to too.

I got back $1,800.00 from the failed IVF attempt.

Charity: I know some other gals have been telling me to go to Milwaukee and find another clinic......but it's 2.5 hours away......and with my DH and my job, it's just not an option because we both only get (1) week off per year.....I know, our jobs suck. I'm turning 41 in a few weeks, my B-Day is Dec. 30th, I guess I have some serious decisions to make as I know my age is really going to be a factor.

WIGal (Tammy)...Hope you don’t mind me copying your quote from the other board to update all on your appointment. I have a question for you, though. Are you going to the Aurora Med Ctr? I’m pretty sure that’s where…I looked up their CDC stats against those in Milwaukee, & the success rates (cycles w/live births) for your age group is significantly higher than the other 4 in Milwaukee…As you know, statistics can be misleading, as it does have to do with the patient issues & the sample size, but your clinic’s stats are excellent, and particularly so for your age group. Their stats for all other age groups far exceed those of any in Milwaukee or the national average. I know you're feeling frustrated with this clinic, but maybe it didn’t have to do with them at all. Maybe it was more an issue with the protocol not working for you. As you mentioned, others have suggested that there may have been issues with the lab & suggested Milwaukee, but that might not necessarily be the answer. Your current clinic/RE has seen how your body responds better than if you started with a new clinic. Have you had your FSH levels checked? You might want to see if yours are running high. They usually will treat you with a “flare” protocol if it is, which sounds like what they’re going to be doing if you do decide to do a second cycle, so I think they’re heading in the right direction. I would ask about your FSH first though. If it is high, and they treated you with a standard long protocol, that would leave me asking them why weren’t they more aggressive with your protocol considering you’re age, high FSH and you’re paying completely out-of-pocket… You might want to contact them regarding the financial end of things, too… Did you ask them if they have discounts for this being your second cycle? Did you ask the business office if there was anything they could do to assist on the financial end of things considering the poor outcome the first round? These were all available to me. I’m not sure if I’ve helped you at all , but that’s what I would be examining at this stage if I were in your position.

AEJ…That’s so weird you mention the freezing after collection…There’s someone else on the Dec/Jan board that is doing the same thing, but more so because her clinic is going to be closed for the holidays, so this way she will just "harvest" this month, and add the embies to her other FE’s to transfer at a later date. The reason I say it’s weird is because I was driving home Wednesday night thinking of her and the idea of not transferring and it didn’t sound bad to me…I think for me it’s more so that I don’t think it would be as hard on me if we don’t have success this round if we weren’t going to transfer anyway…It still would be hard, but maybe I wouldn't feel as cheated if the future ET was some ambiguous date...Oh well...I'm sure you had thoughts like this after your first round, too...

Jen…What’s a Keychild? I am guessing it’s like kids whose parents work, and they come home from school to an empty home (we call them Latchkey Kids) and you befriend them until their parents come home from work…Is that pretty close..? It really is great of you to give your time to help out…

Souris…I’m sorry to hear that your sister is acting so strangely. I have seen this before. It usually turns out that the sister, for some reason, feels in competition with the other. They feel like they can’t live up to the example the other sister has already set, so they almost feel a sense of animosity towards the “better” daughter. How old is she? It sounds like she hasn’t quite matured to understand the relationship you two could have someday if she stopped comparing herself to you, and started seeing you as a support system, and not the source of competition to be the favored child in your parent’s eyes. I might be really off, but from what you described, that what it sounds like is going on…The relationships sisters can have is like no other relationship, so I hope you can work through this rough patch, and get back to supporting one another like sisters can do, better than anyone else. The issues with your step-daughter makes me think of a rough patch I went through in my late teens/early twenties, and believe me, the best thing my mom did for me was gave me a big fat dose of reality. If I didn’t like her rules, I could get out, which I did. I found out quickly how life had been pretty damn good at home. Maybe your sd just needs to have some rules and boundaries set to realize what freedoms and opportunities (an education) she has been given already, and that the rules of the household are so minimal in comparison. Sort of a “tough love” method, but it was extremely effective for me. Just make sure your home is a sanctuary for you and dh, and her antics aren't disturbing that. You need as little stress in your life right now...

For me, not much going on...I have been mulling over a question weighing on my mind re this whole ICSI thing for cycle #2…My doctor suggested not, but I worry that if there are issues w/dh’s sperm being able to penetrate the egg then we’re done…The RE said once the eggs have contact w/the sperm, they change chemically, & he’s never seen “rescue ISCI” result in a live birth. But, if I do ICSI & my eggs or the sperm aren’t activating/decondensing because they aren’t being penetrated by sperm or are doing the penetrating, then ICSI will cause the same failure as our 1st cycle. I almost wish they could put half the eggs on “hold” until we see how the others react with dh’s sperm. If there is fertilization, then go for it with the other half, but if not, then we can do ICSI on those remaining…Not sure if eggs can be put on “hold” for that long without being damaged in quality simply by sitting there, but maybe that’s something I need to discuss with the doctor when I have my next appointment. Do any of you know the shelf life of eggs? I know chickens are like 2 weeks. I know I will be a big chicken this round, but I don’t think that will have any bearing on my eggs...Darn! I s/b getting af in about a week. I’ll call the clinic, get on BCP’s, & see about our next consult to just get prepare for the next cycle & discuss any remaining outstanding questions/issues. I almost wonder if I could wait another month before going on the BCP’s seeing as my cycles have gone right back to normal after the stimming. That would put my next af due about the week of the 15th of January…That might be cutting it close…Especially if she decides to stop cooperating as some of the other ladies are experiencing. I’ll have to see if she comes on time this time, when they plan on starting me on the meds, & what the doctor recommends…AEJ…Any suggestions on the ICSI question? I know you suggested I rethink ICSI, and I brought it up to my dh, who is convinced his boys can do the job…

Sorry this is so long again, ladies...I need to learn how to abbreviate better. Or just shut-up!! Hope all your weekends went great, and I look forward to hearing how you all are doing...Later Gators!!

[REACH-AEJ]

Hi Charity,

Great to hear from you. I'm not sure the answer to doing ICSI or not...my dh was taking Lipitor (cholesterol medicine) and when I revealed this to the doctor, he said that this med can sometimes have an effect on whether the sperm can actually penetrate the egg or not. He said there is no way to tell in all of the sperm tests we did- just when it is actually trying to penetrate and fertilize. My dh actually had an incredible sperm count after washing (they call him superman at our clinic ), and all of the mobility, etc. tests were great as well. Our doctor said, even though he had been on a low dose of Lipitor, he didn't want to chance it. He did go off of the Lipitor for our 2nd try and is staying off for our 3rd try. We just don't know if this has anything to do with the lack of fertilization or not...better safe than sorry.

I have read that there is some truth in some eggs not liking to be "poked" as your doctor put it. As I mentioned, I asked to do 1/2 and 1/2, but my doctor and the embryologist felt so strongly about ICSI being our best chance, we decided to trust them. Your doctor and embryologist may be seeing something that is leading them to believe your best chance is to go a little more natural (if any of this is!!). Did you ask about 1/2 and 1/2 if you get lots of eggs?? Did they do ICSI in the first place because of the number of eggs you had to work with or was there other reasoning behind it?

[Charity]

AEJ...We went with ICSI just as a preventative measure. There were no issues that led them to believe my dh's spermies would have trouble, but he and I made that decision, as we were hoping to only do this one time, and wanted to make sure all bases were covered..."Just in case"...

My dh isn't on any meds, but does take quite a few vitamins (Vit E, Garlic Oil, Fish Oil & a Male Multi-Vitamin). He also has awesome count per ml. but his sample size is only about 1.5 mls. per sample. Also, his morphology is normal, but motility is on the low end of normal, but not bad enough to cause "major" issues. The biggest issue we found is that his seminal fluid is very thick. Once they are washed, we're doing good. I believe he has a varicocele, too. It was more obvious a few years ago, but it almost seems to have disappeared. I think that could have some bearing on his motility, but doubt it has anything to do with the volume or seminal fluid quality, which appear to be more our issue. My doctor really encouraged us to go without ICSI, but I think I'm going to ask to the embryologist to before we make any final decisions. She spoke to me when I had called back and the doctor was out. She kept "hinting" that I should continue to try again and that it might be more of a protocol issue. She kept saying it over and over, so I think she was trying to tell me, without telling me, that there were issues with the egg quality due to maturity and protocol. But, I think I'll ask to talk to her again about "to ICSI or not to ICSI, that is the question..."

I saw your post to WIGal on the other thread and you mentioned some recommendations or suggestions your doctor made that you would be willing to share if she were interested. If you wouldn't mind, I would love to hear them...Like you said, the more information the better...How are you holding up? You seem to be doing better...Time is a miraculous thing...It does heal most wounds. It doesn't heal without leaving a scar, but it does heal...You take care dear, and I hope your weekend was relaxing...Later Gator!!

[Jen1d]

Sorry guys had a hectic weekend so have not been around .

Charity - I work with the social work dept in a childrens unit (like a kids home) for children between the age of 11-16yrs who have been abused, neglected, behavioural problems or are at risk etc. I am a senior social care officer there and we are given one of the kids as a keychild and although we look after them all, its my responsibility to make sure all his needs are met and to do all the paperwork, reports for him too. Its hard work, can be very demanding and stressful but i love it. Unfortunately my keychild is on a slippery road to distruction at the moment and keeps running away so he is making me work hard---at least it helps keep my mind off the ivf

What does everyone else work at?

I was also amazed to read about how much you girls over in America pay for ivf etc. My ivf cycle cost £2995 every time. Its £880 for the meds then the rest for all the treatment but yours seems to be so much and how come you can get money back---sounds good to me.

Ok, must dash. Have been out for a run and now start work at 2.30 so need to hop in the shower.

Catch up with you all soon

Love Jen x

[Sully]

Hi all

I maybe joining some of you guys with a Feb cycle of IUI with donor. I've got a counselling session booked for 28 days time (wow where does the time go!) and if we (well not if, when!) we agree to go ahead it could be as early as February when we do 1st cycle - yippee!!!!

Sorry haven't got time for personals (never seem to have time at the minute - sorry!) but I have been lurking and reading your posts

Sully
xx

[Charity]

[souris]

Welcome Sully!! Charity, my welcome looks a bit dull compare to yours!!!

Jen, your job sounds fantastic, although not easy but I guess when one of your kids makes a good life for him/herself you must be very proud. My mum also worked in a children home, and one of the girl has a good life now, 2 kids and a lovely husband. She calls my mum from time to time, which a very nice.

Charity, it is a very personal point of view, but I would go ahead once more with ICSI. Why would your doc insist so muchif she did not believe that it would work?

For us, dream holidays have to been put off... Dh broke his bridge when on holidays in France, and the cost to make a whole new bridge was 5000€. The insurance was suppose to pay but they are making a lot of trouble not to have to pay...
So we cant go ahead with the holidays not knowing if we will have money from the insurance.
Oh well, I kind of new that it would not work ,as in 5 years, every single time we tried to organise a holiday it did not work!!

Charity, for my sister, i really dont understand. She is 27, so older than me, she has a beautiful 6 years old son. SO ok, she doesnt do well with her relationships, but i dont understand her reaction. When I miscarried, she was the first one I called, because even if we dont see eachother often, we are closed... I just wish she could talk to me and trust me...Obviously, it is a one way trust, and that hurts...
As for DH daughter, she is a hopeless case. She is so immature she doesnt understand nothing. Oh well, I could write a whole book on her!

I just played tennis with Dh and I knackerd!!
So i gonna leave you girl and have a nice shower!

take care
xxx
souris

[REACH-AEJ]

!!!! WELCOME SULLY !!!!

Charity ~ where do you get all of your cute icons,etc

...That's interesting that your embryologist said that so many times ~ that's a good sign for the future! I'm sure they will have your magical protocol for next time - just the ICSI is the big decision.
...In the message I left for Wigal - I was just referring to the information I shared about the protocol and how the aggressive protocol may affect implantation (per my doctor). I wasn't sure if she was reading the posts on this board or just the other...

I am feeling more myself everyday -time is an amazing thing and getting these meds out of my system helps as well! We are pretty busy through January, so that will be helpful.

Jen , what a great contribution you make! I'm sure it's emotionally gratifying and exhausting, depending on the day. How nice to make such a difference.
Since you asked, I am in Veterinarian Pharmaceuticals. I sell pet medicines to Vet Clinics. I am a big animal advocate and do a lot with rescue leagues. I think my job keeps me sane right now!

I'm at a Sales meeting and exhausted from the 14+ hour days! Going to bed!
Take Care All~

[99]

I'll be doing my first IVF cycle in February 2007. It's definetly good to know someone else is going through the same thing at the same time! Is this your first cycle?

[jemima]

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I just get a chance to go to internet. We were having fam problem last week. My SIL passed away.

Hi Janice, DR didn’t push me to loose weight but if I really want 5 Kg/11 pounds Okay. He said it was important to me to keep watching my nutrition n have regular exercise. three time a week. Not very over/hard exercise, just walking n swimming. He said if I did walking keep attention to distance.
I want to loose weight, because I want something different for next cycle. But sadly, Im not motivated enough. Cause I knew some woman here pregnant while overweight.
I think you better start living healthy. Don't exercise too hard. The most important keep PMA.

Hi to everybody else. I'll catch you up later.
Oh God!!! I just have a SMS from DH. He said he wanted to adopt I must go girls...

Luv, Jemma

[souris]

Hey Jemma

So sorry to hear about SIL... Was she young (if I may ask..)?

Dont you find it hard to loose weight after IVF cycle?? I am not very motivated neither... but on my 2nd failed attempt, I wanted to loose the weight I gained while stimming, and I tried a very strict diet for 1 month (protein powder) but it did not work!

I put on 1 kilo with the pregnancy, but I lost it already, not feeling so well.
And I will try to be healthy until my next cycle, but no diet. With the IVF meds, the pregnancy, the miscarriage, the D&C, I think my body has been through enough and deserve a break!

Ok, let us know about the mystery SMS, adoption!! I have started looking into it, although I know it will not work out, it keeps me occupied!

xxx
souris

[Charity]

[Charity]

Sorry so brief...I'll post during my lunch...AEJ...The website is http://www.cheesebuerger.de/smilie.php...If you see a pic you like, just right click and select properties. It will give the website that the pic came from, so you can go there and get more...That's the only way I found them...I stole them...

[WISCONSINGAL]

THE APPOINTMENT WAS FAST AND SHORT......I HAD TO GO ALONE......WHICH DIDN'T HELP. I MET WITH THE DR, HE SEEMED UP BEAT, AND SAID "NOTHING WAS WRONG WITH THEIR EQUIPMENT OR PROCEDURE", SO IT'S UNEXPLAINED!!! THOSE FAMOUS LAST WORDS HIT ME AGAIN. NEXT HE WANTS TO DO THE FAST VERSION, NO LUPRON. DOES HE THINK IT WILL WORK.....THAT'S WHAT I ASKED, HE SAID "THERE'S NO GUARANTEE IF IT WILL, JUST LIKE THE LAST (3) TRIES BUT THAT WOULD BE HIS NEXT MOVE. THE NURSES SAID I'M ONE OF "MAYBE" 3 THAT THIS HAS EVER HAPPENED TO HERE.......THEY WANT ME TO TRY AGAIN.....I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. MY DH IS NOW THINKING $$ AND HE SAID WE CAN'T SWING ANOTHER $10,700.00 JUST FOR THE IVF PROCEDURE...$3000.00 FOR MEDS.....AND WHATEVER THE ICSI & EXTRAS ALL COST......HIS COMMENT TO ME WHEN I GOT HOME WAS WHY DIDN'T THE DR JUST DO THIS "FAST" ROUTE 1ST, MY AGE (40) AND WEIGHT.....ALL HAVE FACTORS IN THIS SO WHY NOT TRY TO GET BIGGER AND MORE EGGS INSTEAD OF TAKING OUR TIME ON THIS WHEN TIME IS NOT REALLY ON OUR SIDE......I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER THAT. I SAID I AGREE....I GUESS WE'RE JUST DOING WHAT THEY SUGGEST AND I'M NOT SURE WHY BUT AFTER 2 FAILED IUI'S WHO KNOWS......THIS JUST SUCKS. I TURN 41 ON THE 30TH......TALK ABOUT ANOTHER BUMMER!!!!