Bit of a vent here

debb · Post by **debb** » Wed Oct 22, 2003 8:41 pm

Hi all, I really need a bit of a vent. I dunno if anyone here wants to hear it. It is not about the IVF tech stuff but more an emotional thing. I have had failed IVF and due to start again soon. And posted here. But I need to let off some steam re something. Do you mind? Jo Locker You have been so ace to me.. I know you will not mind me venting.... sorry where else can I go? If you all say it is OK I will post tomorrow......I really need some help with this. Love Debbie Leeds ACU

Grace · Post by **Grace** » Wed Oct 22, 2003 9:21 pm

Hi Debbie Just wanted to say that please have a good vent at any time. That is what we are all here for. This whole thing is so emotional and horrible and we all need to get it out of our system. That's what is so brilliant about being able to come on here because there are always plenty of people who know exactly how you are feeling even if you feel that people in your "own world" don't. Please, please feel free to let off steam at any time, I know I speak for everyone when I say this. I find the emotional side of it so much harder to deal with than any of the physical bits too. Take care and look forward to hearing from you. Love Gracexxx

gem · Post by **gem** » Wed Oct 22, 2003 9:43 pm

Hi Debb Don't mind at all let it all out girl,we are all here for you,if we can't let it out on hear then where can we!! Speak to you tomorrow Love Gemxx

vickib · Post by **vickib** » Thu Oct 23, 2003 8:20 am

Hi Debbie Welcome to the place of comfort and understanding, we are all here to listen and support you. This journey we are on is emotional and you need to be able to express yourself so vent away. Look forward to hearing from you. Love Vicki B XX

SQUEW · Post by **SQUEW** » Thu Oct 23, 2003 8:48 am

Hi Deb Feel free to vent, I have had 2 failed IVF and to be honest I am dreading doing it again and if I could run away from it I would. Like you I dont care about the physical side of the treatment, I can cope with feeling shitty and having my body pulled about, but I cannot deal with the failure, that is why I am terrified of doing it again. Dont know if this is how you are feeling but thought I would share it with you as sometimes I feel like I need therapy! If anyone has any advice on how to overcome this and get some PMA I would welcome it. My clinic has a councellor but I havent been, anyone else tried this and found it useful?! This site is a godsend though as you can speak to people that REALLY understand, hope it will help. Sue xx [Edited by SQUEW on 23-Oct-03 01:49]

Lissa · Post by **Lissa** » Thu Oct 23, 2003 11:08 am

Come on then Deb lets hear it! That's what we are here for. I agree with Sue, finding the failures harder and harder to take, confidence sinking but trying to keep it together for everybody elses sake. Had somebody say to me the other night at a party that I must feel like a real failure as a woman! Nice eh! What a dumb thing to say - I know people don't know what to say but that has to take the biscuit! I have also thought about some therapy but haven't been yet. I just want the whole thing to be over but I can't give up trying. Urrgghhhh! I guess we all have down days and today is one of them. Each day at a time, tomorrow I will probably be full of beans - the old rollercoaster of emotions - am I going mad? Hooray for this site I say good luck girls Lissa x

Jo Locker · Post by **Jo Locker** » Thu Oct 23, 2003 1:01 pm

Hey Debbie ..... just vent away, please don't be mindful of what I might think - I am so pleased if anything I have said has been of comfort to you. Venting what you really think definately makes you feel better cos there is ALWAYS someone ( or loads of people ) who feel the same. God, I'd have gone nuts I think if it wasnt for this site - it's fantastic for pg girls dont get me wrong, but you really need the support all the more when things dont go the way you hope. You will get there Debb, and I know how hard the failure hit you, it's just gross and I hated it for you. Vent Away Girl!!!!!!! Lots of Love, Jo. XXXXX

Nikola · Post by **Nikola** » Thu Oct 23, 2003 3:01 pm

I think Debbie, you have pretty much got everyone interested and ready to hear your vent - so vent away. I'm an LGI girl so if its specific about where you are having your tmt I'll be totally sympathetic. Mr Balen and I don't see eye to eye!!!! Go girl. love nikola.xx

ambar · Post by **ambar** » Thu Oct 23, 2003 3:49 pm

Debbie Go for it girl, don't hold back, let it all out, we have enough to go through, so the more you can share and realise your not alone will help you and all of us to support one another. Take care Love Ambar xx

Dagny · Post by **Dagny** » Thu Oct 23, 2003 5:50 pm

Hi, If you can't vent here than where can you vent? You just fire away we all need a bit of a release at times. Don't you worry. We are all here to help you and listen. Take care love Dagny xx

beckym · Post by **beckym** » Thu Oct 23, 2003 10:32 pm

Lissa - can't believe that person said that to you - I think I would have punched them and said to them "oh dear, must be those IVF hormones, can't control the woman in me""!!! beckym xxx

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Fri Oct 24, 2003 7:16 am

Debb Go on girl let it all out , imagine we are all sitting in your lounge having a glass of wine among friends and then let go! {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Trace x

Lissa · Post by **Lissa** » Fri Oct 24, 2003 9:38 am

Hi there Yes Becky I should have done that - always in hindsight eh! Made me bloody furious but you have to let these things go otherwise I'd go nuts (more!). I don't know about anybody else but one day I'm fine and the next I am all over the place. It is the hormones I guess but feel slightly psyco! Having a good day today. Have a great weekend everyone lol Lissa x

debb · Post by **debb** » Fri Oct 24, 2003 2:21 pm

Hi and Thanks! Sorry it took so long to get back but here goes....I work in a large Primary school with mainly female staff so obviously there are going to be those expecting from time to time. I am usually OK, maybe avoid them a bit... but this time I feel I am going to lose it. This girl announced last Christmas and for some reason it made me really cross and upset. I don't know her too well but I just felt heartbroken! I avoided her as much as possible until one day she followed me into my room, threw some papers in my face, shouted a t me then slammed the door! As you can imagine I was stunned. I felt bad anyway but that reduced me to feeling a total failure. Since then she made an effort to laugh innanely whenever I was about, it became quite obvious to a few others too. Then she had the baby and left for a year. I was so glad! But no... she now has taken to dragging the child in on a weekly basis all around the school etc to all the fuddles etc! She is never away! And it really does my head in! I can appreciate how proud etc she is but 10 times in 7 weeks is just crackers! IMHO! Most come in twice at the most! I AM over reacting but I just thought I was safe foe a bit while we undergo IVF#2. Now it is really stressing me out. I just wanted to know if I am totally unreasonable feeling this way. Luckily I have 2 good pals who warn me if she is prancing about! Sorry and thanks for listening. I know we all have to go through this stuff. How do others cope! Cheers Luck to all Debbie (half term thank God!) PS Lissa I reckon she deserved a good thump too!

Jo Locker · Post by **Jo Locker** » Fri Oct 24, 2003 2:45 pm

Debbie I thought you had done or felt something really terrible the way you were worrying about your vent !!! The way you feel about this person is completely normal - I would feel the same and have felt these kinds of things towards people in the past. A colleague of mine got married to someone she'd just met, was pg one month after the wedding and was just so casual about it - did the test in the loos at work, rang her husband on his mobile as if she was telling him his tea was ready or something, not the most important thing that could ever happen to them!!! Made me so furious at the time how they could take is so lightly when we were so desperate & sad. Needless to say, they're now divorced. You're going to meet people like this all the time unfortunately. But remember, their insensitivity and rudeness is THEIR problem .... people who know you must think you're a really nice person but people who know them will know them for what they are. The fact that she laughs falsely when you're around shows she's weak and insecure around you for some reason - she feels inadequate when she compares herself with you - aggression is a classic way of trying to cover up her own feelings that she's not quite up to the mark. Dont worry about it, pity her even. Keep going with your treatment and try to think positive - those kind of people don't feature in your future family life so dont let 'em upset you. Cant wait to follow your treatment - keep us updated. lots of love, Jo. XX

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