Hello ladies!
I hope you guys had a wonderful Christmas with your loved ones! As for DH and me, we're trapped in Quebec city until tomorrow. Snow finally arrived, and of course, it arrived in force. We are having a small snowstorm here and the roads don't look too user friendly. So instead of driving to Montreal at 80km/h and take one more hour to do the trip, we'll simply leave tomorrow morning very early. I wish I was home, though, so we could just enjoy being home sweet home before we start working again. It's just not the same when you're not in your own things...
ss: I'm really sorry for your loss... you've been through a rough time, having to bury your father and go through the hell of 2ww in addition. And yet you sound like a strong woman, very brave. I'll pray real hard for a huge BFP for you sweetie. Keep us posted.
tc: I'm a bit lost as to what your process is and I don't really understand the dilemma you're facing at the moment because of that. If you feel like it, I'd like to understand better; could you explain?
sassy: My dear! If you knew how much I understand what you're going through! And I'm glad you found a good use for bec's famous sh** shield!

I vented about the same kind of situation last week. At the beginning of our IVF process, the best support actually came from fertile couples, or couples who had not yet had to struggle with infertility issues. A couple we know well came to our place after my surgery, and I was chatting with the young woman of that couple. She asked what the results of my surgery were; I informed her about how I lost one tube and how the other was destroyed, and how it would really take a miracle to conceive naturally, so our doctor had directly referred us to in vitro. The very first thing she said was, "I hope you realize how lucky you are!"

I'm still not over it, even if I like her and still have fun with her when we meet. She had been ttc for the last 9 months and was frustrated because, given that she was only 24, her doctor absolutely wanted them to keep trying for 12 months before testing them for infertility. She was jealous because I knew exactly what was going on with my body and had a very precise course of action. Granted, it's better than never knowing. But sheesh! it's still a tremendous loss!
Some people just don't know what it's like. Piling up 24 AFs when you're trying to conceive, like your "friend" did, is absolutely frustrating and can drive any woman crazy, I agree. But it cannot compare to sitting in the waiting room of a fertility clinic as part of the "can't-do-it-on-their-own" people, be seen by a doctor, be diagnosed, feel like a broken machine, be shown stats that do everything but guarantee anything, receive packages of meds you'll have to take intensively for over a month, plan ahead so you don't ruin yourself trying, and have only a few tries, very concise in time, to reach your baby dream. Only two, three, more, or only one very definite, precise chance. Nope, sorry... doesn't compare.
Please dear, don't blame yourself for being slow. It's 100% human to want to share what you're going through with other human beings in person. Sometimes, you need solitude and silence, at other times, you need to share a bit compulsively, or just vent. And you don't always know people who are going through IVF or have gone through it. So people do their best, they try to fish in their own experience... and it's not always a good idea. But don't blame yourself for trying, don't blame yourself for trying again, even!

I understand your need completely. My own DH does not understand what I'm going through either, sometimes!

But you're right; when they do more harm than good, you just stop talking about that sensitive subject and find other people... I'm sure you can find others around you?
To all others, have a lovely day! We'll brave the elements and go visit my grandparents this afternoon. Take care and have fun!
Sophie

First IVF Dec. 06!
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