Losing 1 twin...

angellica · Post by **angellica** » Sun Dec 31, 2006 9:58 pm

Can anyone advise me please.......

I am 9wks 2days, and I lost a twin at 8wks, well I haven't lost it yet...it has simply died and the 8wk date is when it stopped growing....devestation aside I am naturally worried with regards to the other twin. I have just been discharged after 5 days in hospital as I had an infection which has been treated with antibiotics, I have only suffered spotting but the ultrasound shows the full sac and baby there it is just not alive anymore........I have been told one of 3 things will happen.......1, the not alive twin will just pass through me, 2 they will both pass through me or 3 the not alive one will vanish ie vanishing twin syndrome and will get soaked up by the healthy twin or me.......I know it seems an awful question and is kiling me to write it but I am distraught and don't know whether I should even be excited about the pregnancy at all anymore, I know I should be positive and I am aware that if it wasn't IVF I probably would have never known I was having twins, I did though and I had grown very attached in a short space of time and I also know I am very very lucky compared to some of you reading this and I am grateful just scared, confused and physically gutted...........

Any thoughts anyone??

Angellica x

tony · Post by **tony** » Sun Dec 31, 2006 10:40 pm

well ...i'm sorry to hear this ,but this come with the package unfortunatelly...you know my wife and i lost the baby also @the 8th week,i know how devastate you are...but you must be positive abouted,you still have a grate chanse to have a baby....so tonight at midnight have a little chears for the baby that is about to arrive.......good lock...and God bless

vicky77 · Post by **vicky77** » Mon Jan 01, 2007 12:22 am

Angellica, just wante to let you know that I am with you, I share your grief for the little one, but remember that you still have the other one to fight for, so keep up!!!!!
I wrote you on the First Trimester thread.......

sassynlv · Post by **sassynlv** » Mon Jan 01, 2007 2:06 am

angellica: I am so sorry to hear that one twin has stopped growing. That must be very devastating for you. I have a friend who went through IVF and got preg w/twins. I don't remember exactly how far along she was when one stopped growing.... but early enough that the baby was a "vanishing" twin. She delivered a very healthy baby boy who is now 7 year old. Wishing you another 8 healthy months of pregnancy!

JayfromQld · Post by **JayfromQld** » Mon Jan 01, 2007 10:35 am

Angellica

Dont feel that you dont deserve to moarn the loss of your twin. You know you cherish the one remaining, so dont feel like you are being greedy to cry for the lost one.

you are a mum to be and you lost a baby, it will take time to heal.

best wishes
Jay

angellica · Post by **angellica** » Mon Jan 01, 2007 11:42 am

Thanks to everyone.........all I can do now is pray I suppose, but it hasn't helped me yet!! I know in my heart I will eventually be fine, I just cannot believe what has happened, thank you all for your words of encouragement and advice on the forum and those that have pm'd me.....it is just bl**dy pants at the moment, today I have some quite bad pain and am just sitting here wondering if this is it....I am scared to move or go out as I may just bleed everywhere or I may not bleed at all...my next scan is the 19th Jan, an eternity away.................

Thanks again you all made me cry but I am so grateful to have you..........

Angellica xx

EYCI · Post by **EYCI** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 3:48 pm

Angellica.

I too lost a twin. We saw both hbs at 8wks, then at my 11.5wk scan there was only 1 hb. The other one had simply stopped. I never had any spotting, just some low back pain. Baby A just reabsorbed.

As for the emotional side, we too were devastated. We had told so many people about having twins and then had to not only go through the loss, but also having to tell so many people about it. I grieved the loss, but then felt guilty for not being happy about the little fighter still kicking in me. It took a few weeks to feel back to normal and to start re-enjoying the pregnancy. During that time, the unanswered questions were the hardest... why did this happen?... is the other twin going to be ok?... was it a girl or boy?

Just allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come to the surface. You'll have good days and bad... and both of those days are ok to have. Don't feel bad/guilty about grieving, and don't feel bad about being happy for still having one left. My prayers are with you as you go through this. It is a rollercoaster of emotion, but it will get easier.

--Julie

angellica · Post by **angellica** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 4:08 pm

Thanks Julie

Your story gives me hope, thanks so much for replying and I am so pleased you had a happy ending, will you tell your son about his twin? the reason I ask is that my little Sister was a twin my Mum lost her twin also and she wasn't told till quite late in life which saddens her more so now at the age of 21....my Mum also lost 2 sets of twin boys as well hence my fears...... The ironic thing is I have spent 6 months working with clients who lost their twin in the womb and there is a pattern in their emotional beaviour which I have been writing a paper on the effects of the lost twin it is so mad that I should now go through this, everthing happens for a reason... but to experience the thing you have been researching is more than coincidental. I will definitely if all goes well, which it will, be telling my daughter (I am convinced!) about her sibling from an early age!!! I have whitnessed the after effects!!

Good luck & Thankyou....

Angellica x

Losing 1 twin...

Losing 1 twin...

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