February Has My Heart - February Cycle Buddies Wanted

[vicky77]

Anna, welcome to this forum!!, I hope we can help you through this rollercoaster, it is really worth it!!!. This would be my second IVF, the other one was much better because of this forum, I think that I would have felt so lonely without all this girls, of course I have my DH who is wonderful, but friends don't truly understand all this process even though they try.....so welcome again!!

Julie, I know what you mean by all this opinionated people, I hate it when they do that, or when they tell you "there is a reason why things happen, don't worry, you will have babies when the time is here"......like I am not supposed to have babies or what??????, I know they are trying to make me feel good or something, but I just hate it when they do those comments.......Anyway, regarding the schedule, you will be given BCP's now for a month, on your 3rd week of BCP's you will probably start Lupron, then you will have your AF again, and then you will do 2 weeks approx. of stimming (Menopur/Bravelle), and then you will have your ER, and 3 to 5 days later your ET.........

GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY!!!!!, we are everyday one step closer to our babies!!!!!

[annag]

Thanks girls for the quick lesson in an IVF cycle. That definitely gave me a better view of what the next couple of months would be. I called my clinic today and I am getting my HSG done on Jan 11 and the IVF consult on Jan 12th. I guess I'll have to wait for my next cycle to start bcp's??? Either way, I'm also guessing if I need a lap to remove the tube, my re will squeeze that in a week after the HSG. I'm still doing internet research on whether it's safe to do the IVF a couple of weeks after a lap or waiting a couple of months. Any gal's input would be much appreciated!!! I just want to do the right thing and not compromise my chances of pregnancy if this is all rushed in 1 cycle.

[tlh222]

My wife and I are starting the IVF/ICSI procedure in February. She is 35 and I am 33. We have been TTC for 9-months, but she had an FSH of 11.5 and we were refered to an RE (I also had a slightly below average sperm motility). While we have decided to go the IVF route (as recommended by the RE), she is having a tough time dealing with it. Her main concern is that this is not "natural" and that she doesn't understand why it is happening to us (she has always taken excellent care of herself....in excellent shape, doesn't even like to take Asprin). I try to tell her that it's just the way it is and we have to accept it, but it doesn't make it any easier (although I think she does understand it).

Anyway, we are starting our first cycle in February. She is not good with needles and is worried about the "harvesting" procedure. Any comments back on that proceedure would be appreciated. Same with the other hormone injections.

I realize there are mostly women on here, so I guess this would be the right place to ask: How canI help her deal with this when there is really nothing else I feel like I can do. She is having a rough time accepting all this.

Thanks in advance.

[vicky77]

Tlh222, I understand exactly what your wife is going through, it is very tough seeing everybody around you have babies with no problem (even those who were not looking for them, which is even worse), and then you are the one who have a problem, and you wonder why does it have to be you. But as you well said, once you know there is a problem, there is nothing that you will acheive by feeling bad about it (even though it is very hard), but you have to fight, do what you have to do to solve it, the good thing is that there is a solution to this problem and it is called IVF, so no matter how, the important thing is that you will have a baby.....
I would suggest that you tell your wife about this forum, maybe if she dissipates some of her doubts and she vents a little bit about her fears it will make it easier.
Regarding the harvesting, I don't know how your RE (reproductive endocrinologist) does it, most of them does it under general anesthesia, a very mild one though (like the one they use for colonoscopies and that kind of stuff), so you don't feel a thing, depending on each person, some feel a little bit sore for a day or two afterwards, it wasn't my case, I felt fine, took a Tylenol that day and that was it.
The needles and medications, most of them are given with very small needles (insuline like), and it is like a mosquito bite, you won't feel anything, sometimes a little sting, but nothing more than that, and if you think when you are giving them that it is for you to have a baby, you feel even better (that is what I used to do).....
Well I hope I could help you, let me know if you have any other doubts, we are all here to help each other!!!
GOOD LUCK!!!!

[AuntyPebbles]

Hi Lady's
just wanted to stop in and wish you all a wonderful productive new year with many big healthy baby belly's for us all....its so nice to see you all cycling together
hi to all the new lady's/Gent's you will gain so much from this board the support and family like mentality is a life saver once you get started welcome to the wonderful family of none conventional conceivers

tlh222 hope you don't mind me piping in here but i really do understand where your wife is coming from its always such a shock to try to deal with the initial awareness that your going to need help to make a baby i have been kinda lucky (if you can call it that) in as much as i have known for years that when i was ready i would need help so it will take your wife a while to adjust and deal with this i hope it goes smoothly for you i know its hard but its also a very amazing journey you will go through things that you would never get the chance to see where it not for you doing IVF like you will get to watch your baby/s grow from follicles to eggs you will get a picture of your baby/s at a few cells old something only people like us get to see all the old fashioned conceivers have to wait for a 12 week scan i pray you are blessed on your first attempt and your wife is able to find peace with her growing belly...hugs and a welcome again

love to all read you soon...Aunty

[FionaA]

thl222, I understand what your wife is going through. It is hard to
understand why, when you've done nothing wrong, that you can't have children naturally and yet there are plenty of hard living bogans around that have no problem reproducing on a regular basis!

I agree with Aunty Pebbles that although the process can at times be tough, it gives you a great appreciation of the whole process of "baby making."

The harvest itself is not too bad. I was given a general anaesthetic and so therefore felt nothing during the process. I was a bit sore for a couple
of days afterwards but that was because I produced a lot of follicles.
Some people get though it with no problems whatsoever.

I found the whole process daunting in the beginning because I was scared
of the unknown. I will be a lot braver next time round because I know what to expect and it's not that bad! Fee

[Charity]

[Charity]

Enduring Morning Sickness

Congratulations - BFP!!

Testing Today

TWW–Embies Snuggling

ETs – Super Embies Returning

ECs – Eggies Ready & Waiting

Stims-Eggies Grow

Down Regging


Hold Please – BCPs
Charity…………….Baseline Jan 5th/Start Stims Jan 6th
Saxony…………….Waiting to Start Stims Mid-January

Aunt Flo Dance
AEJ………………............Early Jan (Jan 9th Appt For Plan)
Jen….……..……...........Due Mid-January
AJDecker (Julie)........Due Jan 17th (Start BCPs)
Vicky77.………............Due Jan 22nd (Start BCP's For FET)
Souris…………............January 24th (Waiting For Plan)

Waiting For Cycle Plan
Nimble...........…............ICSI Discussion Appt January 4th
Sat14 (Susan)...…......…RE Appt January 5th
AnnaG...........…............Schedule HSG 1st Wk in January
Sully……....…..........………RE Appt January 8th
MumtoJazzie...…...........Appt January 9th
Hopeful2BPregnant...…..New Cycle
tlh222.....................…..First IVF Cycle
Nicki……………...............…3rd Week In Feb


Bundle Of Joy
Jeck……………Jaden Born June 20th, 2006

[Charity]

Julie...I'm so sorry about that lady at the party...I'm really not sure why people feel it's necessary to give you their "advice" when they've not even come close to experiencing the same thing we're going through, from IF to IVF...All I can do is just remember when I was one of "them", and try to understand that they think they're helping. At the same time I would have NEVER told someone going through this that they should "relax" or "adopt and it will happen". Nor would I have told them that it wasn't natural. I think it's simply ignorance that makes them misunderstand what IVF really is about. I know I was completely ignorant to all aspects of the process. It's not as "technical" and orchestrated as I thought. There is often times still natural selection taking place, just with a little help to increase those odds. It's still conception, and still a life, regardless of the initial first few days, the baby is the same result. In fact, these are "Super Babies". They are the pick of the litter, if you will. They are the best of the best. So take that! Our babies are the elite and they're just having a hard time dealing with the thought that their babies are "average"! Kidding!! But you understand what I'm trying to say. Now, you got my feathers ruffled... I know what you mean about not being 100% sure you want to go through this. I've been having the same feelings lately. It's just fear. Fear of the unknown, of failure, of the emotional & physical toll. But at the same time, I know what this is all for, and it's so worth it. The feeling of completeness and to experience motherhood. The pain of the loss if I were never to experience this is far more powerful than the fear of the unknown. You hang tough, kiddo, and know that all your feelings are natural and valid, but try to focus on the end result. That's what I have to do to keep focused. Congrats on the Clomid challenge results. Those are very good numbers. After being the exception in all these tests we take, it's nice to finally get a "good" result. Take care...

Jemma...I'm so sorry about your dh! What a way to spend your holidays! Send him our love and well wishes. He sounds like a busy man, so maybe it's a mixed blessing to have him with you for some special time together. Not the way you would want to spend it, but if there is a silver lining, maybe that's it..? I like how you mentioned you had to respect his decision on the adoption subject. I feel the same way with my dh. We opted not to go with donor sperm. I would be open to the idea, but this really wasn't something he was comfortable with. After all he's been through with me, and given for me, I have to respect this one request. Your friend's baby sounds like she might be a diva in the making!

tlh22...It is so good to see you. Men are rare here, and are very welcome. In fact, we may be coming to you for a lot of advice on what our dh's might be going through and how to make them feel better. You and dw are almost the same ages as my dh & I. I'm 35 and he's 32. He too had "just below normal" results on his SA. With respect to your dw, I believe that your test results and the aggressive treatment recommended has nothing to do with her health or your ability to conceive. I believe it's a matter of time not being your friend, so the aggressive approach is for you to achieve a healthy pregnancy as soon as possible. The women in my family go through menopause very early, and regardless of my healthy living, it's a genetic predisposition. It's out of my control. The women in my family have historically been fertile myrtles, but achieve low ovarian reserves very early. That's part of the reason for our aggressive approach to having children. I think if your dw has time to absorb that this is something that is not a reflection of her healthy living, but rather her body working as it should and something that is out of her control, she will come to a place where she'll be able to put this behind and begin looking towards the future. Again, it doesn't mean that if given enough time you two wouldn't conceive naturally, but again, it sounds like time is the enemy right now. With regard to the harvest and injections, they aren't even close to as bad as I thought they were going to be. By the time I was done stimming on my last cycle, I was an old pro. With respect to the "harvest", this too wasn't bad at all. I went off to sleep, woke up about 20 minutes later, and yes, I was uncomfortable, but it wasn't so uncomfortable that I needed to take any pain medications. I too had a few follies, so that's part of the reason for the discomfort. However, as the other ladies have said, many women are ready to go the next day. I'm not sure if this helped at all, but I hope it did in some way..? You take care, take care of dw, and keep communicating. The fact that you are here and care means so much already! You must be a great husband, and will be a great father one day very soon. You take care, Dear...

Aunty and Fee...It's good to see you!! I've been reading you on the Dec/Jan board...Aunty, I've been doing the af jig for you...Have you done a pg test? You never know..??

To all the other lovely ladies, you have yourself an awesome week, and know that with each day we are one closer to that BFP!!!

[AuntyPebbles]

Hey Charity ive been reading you too im so excited your starting no af still for me but i know i cant get preganant the other way so not tempted to do a test ...that would be wonderful but no just the witch being her usual self...

hugs Aunty

[souris]

Hello hello there ladies and gents!!


Charity, thank you soooo much for the info on toxoplasmosis!! It is really helpfull!

Nimble, so sorry to hear about the job situation. Crap and crap again. It is so unfair
You and Vicky are so good trying to loose weight... I have really been a bad girl for xmas, eating way to much... I normally are very healthy before a cycle but this time, I have been weak! You go girls and shift those few pounds!

Vicki, did the spotting stopped?

Anna, Tlh222 welcome!!!
222, my advice to you would be to be very patient with your wife, talk a lot (or listen!!) and yes, she should join us, the girls are fab here!!

Jemma, so sorry to hear about Dh, I hope he will feel better soon!! I am sorry that the adoption process is so complicated... I have also looked into it, made the first steps and contacted the French social workers, but those lazy people dont answer my emails!!

Julie, great news that you have you protocol sorted! Sorry to hear about insensitive friends... I have gave up trying to talk about IVF to anyone but you guys, because people just dont understand. I dont even talk about it to my mum because she is gonna say stupid things and I dont want to get mad at her...

Ok, Me... I have a cycle plan!! My blood works were ok. So I will start downregg on 17 th of Jan, stimms around the 25th so I should got into EC/ET beginning of Feb!! I am so excited, got to book my flight back to France and pack all the xmas pressies for my family!!

Saxony, Jeck , Aunty how are you hunnies??

Love you all girls
going to bed now
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
souris

[ajdecker]

Souris-I think you are right. I tend to give out too much info to people and I shouldn't do that. I open the door and they walk right in marching around about their opinions. lol I'm so glad to have met some wonderful people here. Hey, just a question, what is downregg? Glad you have a plan. Sounds like I won't be far behind you!

tlh222 Its nice to see a man reaching out to help his dw. That speaks louder than words. I had such a hard time coming to grips with the fact that its just not going to happen for us doing it the "old fashioned way." It seems to be a growing trend that women have infertility problems now than they ever had before. Who knows why but it does make me wonder. It took quite a few years for me and dh to admit that we needed to seek some help. I think the desire to be a mother began to outweigh the whys and hows. Maybe your dw needs some time, maybe jumping in with both feet is best, I don't know, every person is different. It is good though that your RE has come to this conclusion rather quickly. Hang in there and ask her join us if she would like to. Sometimes reading other people's stories help tremendously.

Charity SUPERBABIES!! I love that! You are right, they really are the best of the best. I had never, ever thought of it that way. Charity, I've had a few days now where I don't know what I would be doing if it weren't for the kind words you write. You really help put things into perspective for me and I can't thank you enough. Fear can keep us from doing so many things can't it. I also have a fear of failing. And the pain and loss of never being a mother and seeing that dream come to its fruition is more powerful than fear of the unknown. Thank you so much sweetie. I'm going to print out that paragraph you wrote and tape it up. Eye on the goal!

Vicky You made me smile. I have heard those people called good intention dragons. But they have no clue how some of the stuff that they come up with to say actually sounds to other person. "A reason why things happen" is not good to say to someone whose heart is breaking day after day, crying for the child they do not yet have. No one but people with IF can understand that great loss the chasm it leaves behind. So to that dragon...I smite you! lol Also, thanks for the schedule. That helps me. Its better for me to see it laid out on paper so to speak so I know what to expect. So if I start BCP near the last week in Jan, I am probably looking at March for ER and ET. Think that sounds about right? I know that I will probably have a longer cycle this month like they said. I am usually 27-30 days like clockwork, but I have one of those electronic ovulation monitors and its day 14 and still no ovulation. So I'm guessing it will be late. I'm hoping for a miracle from the Clomid, but after 8 years its a little far fetched. Oh well.

Thanks all for listening to my rant before. You guys are great!

[PMApsy]

Good day!

I came here just to check if I belonged in this thread, but I think I'm cycling earlier than you guys (I've started down regging today), so I'll stick to the Dec/Jan thread. However, I want to wish you the best of lucks for your cycles and may your wishes come true!

tlh222 I read your post and I could not help but add my two cents. I think it's amazing that you're coming here to vent and try to understand/help your wife as much as possible. That, in itself, already shows that you're doing your best in this difficult situation.

The one thing that will be the most difficult to deal with, I think, is the frequent and unexpected changes in her emotions, opinions, and so on. I went to the clinic this morning for my first appointment of my first cycle. I've been counting the days, almost! I showed my husband many times that I was impatient to be there! And once I found myself in the waiting room... hehehehe I was not so sure I was even happy to be there! I was nervous because in a few minutes I was going to inject myself for the very first time. And I was reminded once more that I belonged to the infertile crowd. And I was happy because that appointment meant I was well into my cycle. And I was anxious to see the nurse count our money on the desk (the full payment was today) because I was telling myself, "well, this better work, because that's a lot of money!"

I know my husband feels useless or helpless at times. A lot of men will react to this by taking a safe distance, keep silent, and so on. You can choose silence, and sometimes words are useless, but your presence will mean a lot if it stays tender. Hold her hand, caress her, hug her. Most of the time, we just need to know you're there, even if you can't understand us 100%.

You can also repeat/reflect what you understood from what she told you. She might correct you, she might approve, but either way, she will feel like you're listening to her and making an effort to understand her. Jumping straight into problem solving will probably make her feel like she has no space to vent or express her emotions.

Lastly, about the egg retrieval. I've not been through it yet. I've been told that it's only the "poking" part when they pierce the ovaries with the needle that hurts, but not unbearably. Some women have lower tolerance to pain than others, but all receive pain meds during and after the intervention, so it stays under control.

And the self-injection? Piece of cake. I did mine this morning, in the nurse's office. I was quite impressed by the length of the needle, knowing that I had to push it all the way through. I did not know if the needle would burn, if the meds would burn, and so on. I tried twice, then took the needle away from my skin and said, "I'm unable to do this!", then tried again, and bingo! Went right in effortlessly and it did not even hurt. The meds burned a little bit, but about a minute after I had removed the needle, so it's no big deal at all. I don't even feel anxious about my next self-injection tomorrow, and let me tell you I'll fuss much less.

The only thing... if your wife is a little proud as I am (lol)... When my husband saw that I hesitated twice before being able to inject myself, he offered me to do the injections himself. He just wanted to help, but with the emotions I felt at the moment, it ruffled my feathers a little bit because I saw it as if he saw me incapable of doing it myself, as a sign of weakness. hehehe he was just trying to help, and we did not quarrel at all, but I'm just telling you... in case it helps.

Feel free to send me a private message if you want to discuss about anything; I shouldn't check this thread again.

Again, good luck ladies! May we be blessed with baby bellies this year!

Sophie

[Charity]

Enduring Morning Sickness

Congratulations - BFP!!

Testing Today

TWW–Embies Snuggling

ETs – Super Embies Returning

ECs–Eggies Ready & Waiting

Stims-Eggies Grow
Charity…………….Baseline Jan 5th/Start Stims Jan 6th

Down Regging


Hold Please – BCPs
Saxony…………….Waiting to Start Stims Mid-January

Aunt Flo Dance
Aunty.…………............Early Jan (Jan 5th Baseline - Hurry!!)
AEJ………………............Early Jan (Jan 9th Appt For Plan)
Jen….……..……...........Due Mid-January
AJDecker (Julie)........Due Jan 17th (Start BCPs)
Vicky77.………............Due Jan 22nd (Start BCP's For FET)
Souris…………............January 24th (Start Down Regging Jan 17th)

Waiting For Cycle Plan
Nimble...........…............ICSI Discussion Appt January 4th
Sat14 (Susan)...…......…RE Appt January 5th
AnnaG...........…............Schedule HSG 1st Wk in January
Sully……....…..........………RE Appt January 8th
MumtoJazzie...…...........Appt January 9th
Hopeful2BPregnant...…..New Cycle
tlh222.....................…..First IVF Cycle
Nicki……………...............…3rd Week In Feb

Bundle Of Joy
Jeck……………Jaden Born June 20th, 2006
(**8 Brothers/Sisters To Jaden In Waiting**)

[nimble]

whey hey charity, this thread is started to get going.. and the lists are looking lovely girl!

Souris - that is brillant news for you and you get to go home and see your folks. I'm praying hard that this time all will go ok for you. I will be away when you start but will send you mental hugs and best wishes from my sunbed!

Jemma love, we have missed you. glad you are ok and sorry to hear about your DH. What are your plans now that you are no longer following the adoption route.... I know how you feel as my DH has similiar feelings although think he may be coming round to the idea. Haven't been on hols yet, thats next week.

Aj - your post made me smile, I just had this mental picture of you telling the story (not that I was smiling about what your friend was like..) everyone is the same across the world it seems and I just deal with it sarcasm and then they get the point!! Good news about your FSH/LH levels.

Anna - this is a great place to come. Wish I could help with some of your questions but unfort not had to have any surgery plus my clinic doesn't put me onto bcp so pretty useless to you!! However happy to help when I can.....it just lovely sometimes to come on here and rant and rave about this and that!!

Tlh222 - - its so great to see a man on here but sorry of the circumstances that we have to meet. It is always a difficult time finding out that you have to go through IVF however as Aunty says, our babies will be special and there is something so rewarding in seeing your little embies on a screen prior to being put back. Has your dw tried acupuncture at all? Not saying that it is the answer but my FSH levels were quite high and one of the areas that she is looking at is to get my hormonal levels down ready for my next cycle. I am also going for IVF/ICSI on my next go so please ask any questions and I will do my best to answer.

As for the rest of the process, like the others have said, harvesting was painless and even the injections were not too bad, its just getting past the first one or two and then you become a pro!

If you can, get your dw to come on here and see that she is not alone. I got my dh to read some comments on here as he found it hard to accept and it helped. Also worth reading is a book by Zita West 'Fertility & Conception - I certainly found it useful in understanding.

Aunty - hi thanks for popping in, keeping an eye on you and know its not long til you start...go girl go!!

vicky hows the diet going, been good and went to the gym last night but pooped tonight!

Got our appt in the morning with the clinic just to talk about ICSI and then have some b/w done to test for anticoagulant & anticardiolipin antibodies to see if these had any bearing on the m/c.

As for work, they wouldn;t shove so now the other company has withdrawn their job offer - pooh! but they are keeping me on hold in case of another vacancy which they are willing to wait for. So feeling pants tonight and so not motivated at work at all......lucky for me have only 6 days to go before my hols..yeeepeeeee

thats my war and peace over for tonight.......

nims xx