For Lucy and Grace

Alison · Post by **Alison** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 10:34 pm

Hi girls, I've been struggling to keep up with all the OCBs but guess you must be testing pretty soon? Lucy maybe even tomorrow, and Grace later this week? Whenever it is, I just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you and really hoping that it works out for you this time. Much love Alison x

beckym · Post by **beckym** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 11:15 pm

best of luck guys. luce, here's hoping that there will be another photo on Mr T's wall!! grace - crossing all my fingers for you!! beckymxxx

luce · Post by **luce** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 3:28 pm

Hi there Yep, we tested today. BFN I'm afraid, but I knew that already as I started to bleed on Saturday. We're gutted. To top it all, ARGC really screwed up today and called us twice to tell us it was negative. As if we need to hear that kind of news more than once. This is the end of the line for us I'm afraid, and we're off to the 'Life After IVF' board, somehow or another. No matter how much you prepare yourself for it, it is never easy Hope you two have more luck than we did. Love Lucy

Grace · Post by **Grace** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 4:37 pm

Thanks girls it is so nice of you to think of me I really appreciate it very much. I have just seen Luce's post and am so very sorry.. it just is n't fair it all looked so good too. I still have a few more days to go but not wishing to be negative just realistic it is n't looking brilliant for me either. I have lost all my "symptoms" ie mega sore breasts and aches and pains. This is always what happens me in the middle of the 2nd week. It happens me on normal months too, ovulate...sore boobs and then a couple of days before I bleed the boobs return to normal. I never get to test day anyway, (except once) always get a proper bleed a few days before. I had a very bad day yesterday basically just cried and cried. I feel calmer today as a result of that. I suppose I know I just can't do this anymore. It is too damn hard, I just want a normal life. I really don't know how we will start to rebuild a life. We have been married for nine years and started trying for a baby on our wedding night. I really don't know anything else. I am 36 years old now though, and I do want to get on with mylife whatever that may hold. Sorry, sorry, sorry for being so down and negative. This is one of the reasons I have n't really got involved in the OCBs too much as I don't want to bring everyone else down too. Becky, I saw on your posting and just wanted to say I know how much it hurts when a new baby comes in to the family. I have two little nephews whom I love to bits but the day they were born were incredibly difficult days for me. Try and keep your chin up though (yeah, right look at me!!!) I know it must be incredibly frustrating coating for these days. It does work though and lots of people get pregnant with similar circumstances. Thanks for thinking of me. I will let you know how I get on. Love gracexx

beckym · Post by **beckym** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 6:55 pm

To you both, you are so very brave. Luce, i'm so very sorry - have left a longer message for you on ARGC thread. grace, don't feel bad at all about having a vent. I did yesterday!! feeling better today. am sitting here with a picture of my nephew and not crying so that's a huge improvement!! I am sorry you had such a rotten day yesterday and I can totally understand your decision to stop after this go. It's all so exhausting. I'm still not giving up hope for you on this one but hope if it is negative that you are able to build up your life again. all my love beckym xxx

Alison · Post by **Alison** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 7:54 pm

Oh Lucy, I'm just so, so sorry. I bled within a week of having the blastocyst transfer too - I just couldn't believe it, as when you get so far with them you really start to believe that maybe it could be your time. However much you try to prepare yourself for a -ve, you really can't - but that's probably right, cos if we had no hope at all we wouldn't be able to put ourselves through these cycles. I guess the next few days and weeks will be really hard, knowing that this has been your final go. Please do keep in touch as and when you feel able. The "life after" board has started to get off the ground, and I've found it a really supportive place to post without feeling that you're lowering anyone else's spirits, and inspiring too to read about what other people are doing and how they're moving on. Come on now Grace, losing all your symptoms may be the normal way it goes for you to be PG too - try not to give up all hope. Nine years though, blimey - its been less than four for us (found out v quickly my tubes are completely knackered and IVF the only hope) and I know that I can't take any more after this go. Whatever happens "life after" will be better than this for all of us, but I'm still hoping that your life after holds a baby. I'll be looking out for your result. Much love to you both Alison x

Tracey S · Post by **Tracey S** » Thu Oct 30, 2003 8:26 am

Sorry to interrupt (know you won't mind really) but had to pop in here to give you all a huge hug! I hardly post now which is a contrast to me being the biggest poster on the board - I was on e mailing terms with dr marcus too. Luce - I am so sorry - I do not have words really which is odd as I always do but having gone through huge traumas myself (after losing our baby at 20 weeks on IVF no 4) I have an idea of what you are going through. I post on the life after - it is a good place to be and is not the definitave anwer but helps in a small way when you need it. Only you know where you are to go next and I wish you both well and to find happiness in whatever you decide. Grace - massive dose of birch twigs - I know you are down and I have said at times that the symptoms have been the same ( I never made test day either!) apart from the last time. It does not mean it is over but nothing I will say will make a difference. I am 37 and have been trying 9 years now on and off - the last few IVF and it seems we put on hold everything else. Try and stay strong and you know I am here when you need me as promised. Becky - know what you mean about little ones - I have two young step children which is always a delight (not) when IVF does not work or when we lost our little one at 20 weeks. Last week my friend came over with hers - 13 weeks and the next day another with hers - 16 months - deep joy. I just bite the bullet and try and plough on - take care Love Tracey xxx

Grace · Post by **Grace** » Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:30 am

Alison,Becky and Tracey Thanks for your words of wisdom and support. You are right about biting the bullet and ploughing on. I suppose if nothing else all these experiences have made us in to strong women. In fact sometimes I wonder where all the resilience comes from. Today I am counting my blessings, I have a wonderful, wonderful husband, a lovely home, loving family and friends. I know I am loved and that I have people to love. If all this goes wrong I still have these things to cling to. I know there are many people in the world who don't. Big hugs to you for being there for me. Love Gracexxx

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