Hi, Its all new to me...

jane · Post by **jane** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 9:12 pm

Hello all, This is my first time on a chat room, so bear with me if I make any glaring errors. My partner and I are due to start IVF, and are struggling with when to start our first cycle. Do we wait and get Xmas and NY out of the way, or do we start next month. I am so worried that I am going to be an emotional wreck. I am finding it all hard to come to terms with already and I haven't even started the treatment yet. Will I be able to cope with the hormones and mood swings??? Then what if it doesn't work, will I be able to cope? I haven't spoken to, or know anyone who's gone through it, so I'm guss I'm feeling a bit alone. I suppose I just want to know what to expect. Any advice (good, positive, negative) welcome.

Kat · Post by **Kat** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 9:36 pm

Hi Jane, welcome to the site and don't worry about making any mistakes. You are in the right place to have any questions answered, however silly you might think they are and I for one have no one else to talk to that understands apart from the girls on here and I don't know now what I'd do without it. In answer to your questions, if Christmas is a stressful time for you then I would say wait till afterwards, also bear in mind advice about not drinking - can you do Christmas without a glass of wine or two?! Or chocolate for that matter? Timings will also depend on whether you are doing a long or short protocol so it would be worth talking to your clinic about timings too. I won't pretend this IVF business is easy but you will find the strength to cope with what it throws at you and lots of pma (positive mental attitude) helps. I'm not sure if that helped at all, good luck for whenever you decide to start your treatment and keep us posted with how you are getting on. Lots of love Kat xx [Edited by Kat on 28-Oct-03 13:53]

beckym · Post by **beckym** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 11:11 pm

Hi Jane I agree - probably better to wait until start of jan to commence - just party in December like mad! Then start off the New Year with a cycle and loads of pma. Best way I found of coping with fear of it failing is to plan how many cycles you will do in advance. that way if it doesn't work first time, you know that you still have another x number of goes, whih helps. best of luck! beckym xxx

Kyla · Post by **Kyla** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 9:35 am

Hi Jane This is the second time I have sent a message on this site but I feel that we are in the same boat. Me and my DH have decided to wait until after Xmas and it is out first go at IVF. We are planning to start treatment in January, December is a packed month for us so we thought it would be best to wait. I have booked my Consultation with ARGC which is before Xmas and then hopefully all systems go for January 04. I wish you and all the other gilrs every sucess and goodluck to all of you on the 2WW.

SusieV · Post by **SusieV** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 11:23 am

Hi I am also new to this. I considered waiting until the new year but have waited three years and couldn't wait any longer. I am on a fast drug treatment cycle and started the drugs last wednesday and apparently due for egg retrieval next wednesday (5) with implantation on friday (7). I am trying to stay positive that even though this is my first try it will all work out. People have told me that your first treatment cycle is like a practice run and that very few people have success until their 2nd or 3rd etc. I admire all of you whose messages I have read who have undergone many cycles and still have so much positivity and keep going strong. This has given me a lot of comfort, and strength. The hardest thing for me is that I have a 4 year old son with my husband who was conceived whilst I was on the pill. Crazy world hey ?? We have now been told that my husband is infertile, and any subsequent chance of having a child is 6 million to 1. I am constantly told that I am lucky I have my son (which of course I am !) but I have and still are feeling pretty much like everybody else out there who wants a child so badly. I would be grateful to hear from anybody who can offer support, or words of wisdom. Is there anybody in a similar position ??

alisonb · Post by **alisonb** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 12:18 pm

Hi Jane, Wellcome to this site, and wellcome all other newbies, Jane, ivf is an emotional rollercoaster and your about to go up your first slope so just go with it and enjoy the ride so to speak, i think you should just go with whatever feels right for you if you want 2 start b4 Xmas then do it if not do it after (not much help am i ? what im trying to say is dont stress yourself out 2 much b4 u start cos theres enough of it whilst ur having ur treatment and you rally need 2 be as stress-free as possible.) Good Luck with whatever you decide and remember your not on your own because we're all here for you to hold your hand xx SusieV, Wellcome to you aswell, I hope your treatment goes well and that you get the +++tive you're after, secondary infertility is hard to cope with aswell, but we are blessed with the fact that we have a child aswell but the longing for another dosent go away, i do understand i have an 11year old boy and have been trying to concieve since he was 2yrs when i got pg straight away but unfortunately it was ectopic and erupted at xmas (nice) anyway i had the tube removed but the one they left was badly damaged ive had repair surgery done on it and it didnt work so here i am. Just had a Fet which unfortunately was negative so i have to wait before i can start another full cycle of IVF but we'll all get our dream one day we just have to keep trying. Dont know if ive been much help but we're all here and we all understand just trying to say all of you arent on your own in a long rambling on way !! i think the drugs are still in my system haha Best of luck 2 all of you, Keep Positive +++++ Alisonb xx

SusieV · Post by **SusieV** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 1:45 pm

Hi AlisonB - many thanks for your reply. You do not know how good it is to hear some supportive advice. You never get the support you need from anybody other than those you are going through the same experience or have been there. Hallelujah to this site !!!!!! : ) My clinic has been very good monitoring me and keeping me informed of progress but I still (obviously) am anxious about the egg retrieval and egg implantation. Any advice from anybody about what this is like ? I try not to dwell on it but as the dates get closer I find myself getting myself wound up about it. Anything you can suggest to make it as easy as possible ? Plus, I have been reading other messages on postings and I get the general feeling that there are a lot of recommended things you can do during and after ? Any suggestions would be grateful. L SusieV x

SusieV · Post by **SusieV** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 1:49 pm

Jane - I am going through my first cycle at the moment. I was given the option of waiting until after NY as December is a "crazy month"... But my husband and I are so eager after such a long wait that we just thought to hell with it. Besides it doesn't really matter when you do it as the treatment is exactly the same whichever way you do it. I guess me doing the cycle now means that I should know one way or the other by Christmas but at the back of my mind is that if there is bad news what a s**t time to hear it ! Still, it's a bad time to hear it whenever.... I think if you find xmas and ny stressful anyway then to wait. But if you are as excited and eager as I was then go for it. Either way, good luck. L SusieV x

Lisa Ch · Post by **Lisa Ch** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 4:01 pm

Hi Jane I am really going to say the same as the other girls and just go with what is right for you. My first IVF I started sniffing (down regging) on Christmas day, still had a couple of wines mind you. Unfortunately it was unsuccessful, I have just had my e/c today for my second attempt, but started a new job 4 weeks ago. As after 8 years of ttc decided my job had to change and that coincided with treatment. There is never a right time, some might say I would just say try and stay as stress free as you can (easier said than done I know) and start your treatment whenever feels like the right time for you. Take care and I hope your treatment is successful Lisa xx

Di · Post by Di » Wed Oct 29, 2003 5:03 pm

Hi to all you new girls and welcome to the site! Jane - as everyone else has said I would go with what feels best for you and DH. All I will say is that we had a tmt fail on Boxing Day a cou[le of years ago and that was awful - worse than the other failures! Kyla - good luck with your tmt in the New Year! Susie - good luck with ec on 5th - are you having sedation or general anaesthetic? Di

jane · Post by **jane** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 7:11 pm

Hello to you all, Thank you to everyone who replied to my message. Its such a relief knowing that there are people out there listening and experiencing similar stuff. Me and DH have just read all your messages, and both have decided on Jan for the 1st cycle. We'll enjoy the wine, chocolates and parties, of Dec and then start the New Year off with a bang! Thank you all again, Good Luck to you all. I am now addicted to this site so will be checking on all your progress's. Can't wait to set up a JCB, am really excited about starting IVF but also absolutely petrified. At least all your messages have helped me understand the process more. Lucy and Susie V - I've got all my fingers and toes crossed for you. I'll be watching the message board for that +++tive result. Kyla - all the best for when you start in January. 2004 will be the year for us all! (It seems that lots of people who use this site are going to the ARGC. I'm attending the clinic in Dorset). From Jane XXX

SusieV · Post by **SusieV** » Thu Oct 30, 2003 8:45 am

Hi eveyone. Di - I am under the impression it will be sedation but they haven't really gone through it all yet. I am getting really excited but at the same time daunted. We can only wait but see. Any advice on egg collection and implantation would be particularly good for me right now. : ) Jane - good choice for January. As they say you never know if things go well in January you may only have this christmas alone !!!!! I am trying to stay positive and I guess that is all you can do. Let us know how you get on. I have to say that having only just found this site it feels so good (and I agree with Jane) to have some support from you guys who understand and know and experience the same. L. Susie x

Kyla · Post by **Kyla** » Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:41 am

Jane - thanks for your message, you never know we and others might become cycling buddies in the New Year - hope so. Like you I can't wait but I'm also nervous at the same time BUT I am going to have loads of PMA. GOOD LUCK to everyone and my our dreams come true.

Di · Post by Di » Thu Oct 30, 2003 1:56 pm

Hi Susie, For ec I've had both GA and sedation - under sedation it can be a bit uncomfortable but certainly not unbearable. If you're a sicky person which I am I found wearing travel sickness bands helped. As for et - I was always told no perfume on the day and no aftershave for DH - can effect the embryo's apparently. Each unit does things slightly differently ranging from having to have a full bladder at time of et to having the bed tilted for 30 mins after. The tmt has worked twice for me - 1st time m/c at 10 weeks and this time 10 wks pg - and there was no pattern or set formula - it just worked whereas the other 8 times it didn't!! Hope that hasn't confused you too much!!! Ask your unit what there protocol is. Good luck - will be watching out for your posting next week! Jane - glad you and DH have been able to reach a decision - have a fab Xmas and New Year and I'll watch for your postings in the New Year! Di

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