Does anyone ever think about their 'other' embryo?

[Lavender1]

Don't misunderstand me...I still can't believe to this day that we were lucky enough to have our very own son - now 5 months old and absolutely gorgeous!! However, since he was born and I suppose now having experienced the love you have for your own child, I can't stop thinking about the other embryo that was implanted. When we left that clinic, I was pregnant with twins wasn't I? So lost one along the way.
Do I sound incredibly ungrateful? I don't mean to. I couldn't love my son any more that I do - he's our world and like I say, we are so grateful.
Does anyone else think like this, or am I slowly going mad?
x

[Mel_P]

I dont think you sound ungrateful at all Lavender

I didnt share the exact same experience, as only had one embryo implanted. I felt so sad though even at the loss of the embryos that didnt make the grade.

I thought that once I had baby it would almost be like the world could stop as I would have reached total happiness, and of course I do feel so totally and utterly blessed, but I know that infertility will always be a part of me, and I already find myself already thinking about whether there will a possibility of number two and feel a very slight pang when I see pregnant mums with their toddlers in tow! Crazy.

[Lavender1]

Thank you so much - you have no idea how reassuring that is! Yes, we also are hoping for no.2 or maybe 2+3 and already wondering will we really be that lucky twice over!
Glad you said what you said about the others not making the grade - I didn't mention that incase you all thought I really was doolally!! We have kept our only other one frozen at a 2 rating (1 worst - 4 best). I doubt they would use it if I got better ones after another lot of stimming so then I'm sure I'll feel guilty for leaving that emby out!! I don't know...as if there's not enough to worry about in this world
x

[jomae]

Hi Lav

I had the same situation as you I was pregnant with twins but sadly lost one on the way I also lost a bub from my first Ivf cycle and yes like you I sometimes think about the babies we lost i think it's natural to wonder what could have been so no your not crazy you just need to tell yourself that it was ment to be or thats what I do and again it only makes the little treasures we do have all the more special. Just to add to the crazy things we can think of though I don't know how to explain it but in Australia we have these little things that are a part of a flower that sort of look like white pom poms that detatch themselves from the flower and float around in the air and an old wives tale is that if you catch one you can make a wish then blow it away and it and your dream would come true well when I was in my tww I caught one and wished I was pregnant and after that I kept seeing them in two's so Imagined my self having twins so when I found out that i was pregnent with twins I couldn't help but thinking about these pom pom flowers and how funny I had thought of this and then when I lost one of the babes i stopped seeing the two together so now when I see a pom pom flower floating past I think of the baby we could have had and I quietly say hello as it floats by it sounds weird hey

Anyway take care enjoy your little man and no your not going crazy because if you are then I am too

Jomaexxx

[ahart]

I know the feeling, I had three that originally implanted and the 2 boys made it, I believe the 3rd was a girl for some reason....I miss her and will never forget her..she did implant, just did not grow and was reabsorbed back into me....

[Renae1978]

I too have been thinking about the second egg that was fertilized. We did IVF a year ago and implanted 2 blastocysts. One took and we got identical triplet boys. For some reason I keep thinking about it and feel kind of sad. But then I realize that my body just did not want it.

Renae