Anyone heard of or done Embryo adoption??

[AuntyPebbles]

hi i dont think many of you know me i am on my final IVf attempt and trying to look forward i came across a site that does Embryo adoption its sounds so wonderful but not sure if its the right direction or to go for adoption abroad we are thinking China but not completly decided yet...just trying to find a path to follow after IVF...i hope you all understand

Aunty

[clair55]

Hi Aunty

Sorry I can't help with embryo adoption as this is the first time I've heard of it. We too are thinking about adoption but so undecided. We were originally going to do one more cycle but after having my remaining tube out in November and being told after that another small problem had been found I just feel can i put myself threw all this for another round of heartache. If I knew that the was even the smallest chance of sucess i wouldn't think twice about it but in my heart of heart I don't think it ever will. Too be honest I don't think I ever thought it would work. I know people will say you need to be positive but there's just always been this gut feeling.

So it seems that a new path will begin again. Don't know about the states but here in England it's a lengthy process. I don't know many people who have adopted but the small amount who have had had major problems. I worked in a college for kids with learning difficulties and one mother told me that she wish she never had adopted her son as he had worn her down so much!!!! I know that for every negative story that there will be a 100 positive ones it just finding them!

Anyway just wanted to say your not alone and hopefully with your third cycle this won't even be an option.

Good Luck

Clairx

[AuntyPebbles]

Hi Clair thank you so much for the reply,
i didnt want anyone to think i was being negative but im pretty sure most of the ladys here will understand my need to look forward for something positive to hold onto. this IVF Journey drags you through life doesnt it as much joy at having your embies put back the sorrow of -ive after-ive is so hard.
i think here in USA its not so much time line i think it takes about a year if your lucky to actually pick up your baby (if your lucky) but it costs so much money $40,000-$60,000 for me when i found that out it answered my questions as why there are so many kids still needing loving homes its not that there arnt the familys willing to adopt its that its finacially so far a reach for most people we could very comfortably take care of a couple fo children day to day living but no way at this point could we afford to adopt them...crazy
but embryo adoption is in the range of $4000 + cost of transfer much more afordable plus your saving little future lives ...just thinking about it right now, if im honest i think its more to do with wanting a family and what is within our reach

thank you again wishing you luck which ever way your life takes you

Debz

[jeck]

Hey Aunty my dear friend!

I have actually heard of this and my clinic does this! Before we did our last cycle we had told them that we were looking into adoption and they told us about this option! I think it is a great option! I would have actually considered it if I would have thought my body would have carried a child!!! Does your clinic do this???

Good Luck honey, you know I am cheering you on whatever you do!!!

[AuntyPebbles]

Hi Jeck i was talking about you and your boy today (with MIL) and no i wouldnt go to my clinic i wouldnt recomend them either i have no faith in them at all the reason im doing my last cycle there is our ins has a time limit on it and we only have a month left or i would have looked for another clinic for this final go...oh well
yeah the idea of embryo adoption is great isnt it i wish i knew if it was me or my embies that where the reason i couldnt get pregnant would make my decision much easier.....

thank you your always in my prayers ...love Debz

[Emma27]

well my DH and i were talking about this and said that if we got a BFP and had twins (lol being quite optomistic!) what would we do with the other 18 frosties and we thougth about if we were in that situation and decided that we did not want to extend our family further we would like to donate our embryos to another couple (i am not sure if they do this in the UK though?)

[AuntyPebbles]

Hi Emma,
Yeah i remember back in the early days full of optimism me and hubby said the same thing ...thinking it would work first time and wed get some spare we where going to donate them to another couple.
if they dont do it (i think they do) but you can adopt them to people abroad they fly them over ...wow first flight before they even become blasts talk about jet setters

wishing you luck this time

love Aunty

[jemima]

Hi Auntie N Emma,

I also thought about that with my full optimism on my 1st cycle. I remember, I was sitting on chair, minutes before ER. I asked my embryology how to donate my embryo. She said please do one by one first. She was right, a day after, no fertilization. Well, it is not what we plan, everything run based on God's planning.

Auntie, I understand that you need to look forward for something positive to hold onto. I also believe that you still have your strong PMA that this cycle will work for you. Im feeling more relax now to face the next cycle, knowing that adoption is an option next. It feels good for me to have next plan to move forward. Sorry, I can't help you about China. If you consider other countries in Asia, I believe I have read/ heard that some Hospital in Singapore and Malaysia offering this service. But not sure about the procedure.

Luv, Jemma

[AuntyPebbles]

Hi Jemima thank you, im so excited for you to start your next try i will support you all the way

big hugs read you soon...Aunty

[pixiesmom]

Aunty,
It sounds like you & I are in the same place. I had my first ivf almost 2 years ago with no embies by day 5 then on the 2nd cycle only 2 "ok" embies with a bfn. Then we did a donor/donor cycle & only had 2 "perfect" blasts/ I got pg with one & mc at 9.5 weeks. It has taken me a year to "recover" mentally & I was supposed to have transfer next week for my 4th attempt. Well, we got a call Mon. saying that our donor has a large cyst & they have to cancel the cycle. I have been on meds for 6 weeks & now who knows what will happen? Anyway, I think all of the time about all of the babies that are being born daily with no one to hold them & I would give anything to have just one but, like you the cost is too much especially after all of our cycles. We do have ins. but, as you know you still have out of pocket too. We do have 3 children already which I don't mention much around here because I have found that other infertile women don't sympathize or realte to me if I do. Anyway, that counts against you when you're trying to adopt too. I am also interested in embryo adoption but, at my previous Dr. office they said that you had to go through "an adoption process" like if you were to adopt a child. I don't know if this is the case everywhere but, I though that was ridiculous for a 30-35% succes rate on frozen embryos. I think it is definitely a good idea & I am going to look into it too if my ivf doesn't work. Hopefully both of ours will & then we won't have to worry about it. Best Wishes.

pixiesmom

[julie_h]

Hi all,

I was just reading this strand and I have done some research on Embryo adoption (like you, I wanted something positive to look forward to if my current IVF cycle fails...I thought I was the only one that needed something like that! Thanks .

There are no laws currently relating to the 'adoption' of embryos. Some agencies have devised a process similar to traditional adoption to encourage donors to feel good about their embryos going to new families. Different agencies and clinics have different guidelines so just keep looking if you don't like one.

Many will give you a choice of an 'open' style or 'closed' style of adoption (like with kids). In our moments of optimism that this IVF will work with embryos to spare, we agreed to donate our spare embryos. In our moments of doubt, we think how this might be a really good option for us. In many ways, I think it is better than adoption: 1) once the embryo is transfered, there is no legal risk of losing a child after it is born; 2) the parents are more likely to be desirable (no drugs, no smoking, etc. since they expended so much effort in IVF); and 3) it costs less than traditional adoption (although there are no guarantees that frozen embryos will thaw and be successful). Frankly, $30,000 for adoption is just too much money for us and it seems a shame that parents with loving homes have to pay that much for a child in desperate need of a home!

Anyway, just wanted to share what I had found out. Hope it helps and that none of us needs the information (except to donate!).

Good luck and best wishes.
Julie
1st IVF - January 2007

[white]

hi i know from the other side of the fence
in australia if you won't or nead other eggs you go on a wateing list and hope. if you fined some one frends famly stranges to give eggs, you can skip the wateing list. the cost the same as you going throw the cyical but you pay for the other person to do it you can't by them or adouped but it takes time. when i first did it it tock me ages of tests, scans dna tests and then the meatings and it cost me for that to go to see them we didn't live in the town where the ofice was, geting my kids in daycear to at last minets. they are not alowed to pay for that as its agenst the law hear. the docters send a check to help with travial as they are alowed but that not till ayear later. if they remember.
the porson geting the eggs pay for test hear to and there time in hospital
i wish more pepol thort of giveing as the wateing lists hear are huge 3-5years and most don't get them as there age pushes them over the line.
its not torked about in maine stream for pepol to think of it. i think it should be tork of in schools.
the rate of it working is the same as you yousing your own eggs
good luck

[ogr1]

i could have swore that i had posted to this before....
but dh and i had signed with our clinic at the beginng
after a year if we didnt want to use our embies then we would donate them.
as it turned out we used all of ours and waited to have some one else to donate there little embies.

life is a wonderful gift to give
anyone i think that would go threwv all the iui and ivf treatments
would make wonderful parents.
it seems to me and it is only my opion that it would be very sad
not to do something with the little embies

[AuntyPebbles]

Hi Lady's its so good to realize im not alone.

I'm almost at the end of what is looking like a none successful ivf attempt and in my heart i don't want to give up i just cant imagine not having a baby in my belly ...i am still looking into this but like some of you have said most of the agency's i have found, have found they can turn a profit out of our misery so change huge summs of money...crazy crazy world.....

i will post back if i find a place that really just wants to place embryo's

good luck to you all Aunty

[ogr1]

what i dont get is how can they charge such a high fee for embies that have been donated