February Has My Heart - February Cycle Buddies Wanted

[annag]

Hello everyone!

Charity, it's good to hear from you again. I hope everything is well during your break. We miss having you around.

Wisconsingal, just wanted to wish you luck again on the next few days up to your transfer. My prayers are with you and dh.

Carolyn, thanks for the info about your acu prices. That helps a lot so at least now I don't feel cheated on the amount.

Have a good week everyone!

Anna

[WISCONSINGAL]

GOOD MORNING TO ALL.........1ST OF ALL I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU ALL SO SO MUCH FOR ALL THE GOOD WISHES AND PRAYERS.......I KNOW IT'S HELPING!!!!

THEY TOOK 13 FOLLIES......AND THE CALL THIS MORNING FROM THE DR. WAS THAT SO FAR 7 WERE MATURE ENOUGH (AND FERTILIZED)......BUT BECAUSE OF MY AGE WE'RE NOT DOING THE 3 DAY TRANSFER.......HE WANTS TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE GOING TO BE "GOOD ENOUGH, AND STRONG ENOUGH" SO WE'RE SHOOTING FOR A FRIDAY ET. I'M REALLY SORE & TENDER TODAY (BUT NOT AS BAD AS LAST TIME......) I'M SO NOT GOING TO GET EXCITED UNTIL AFTER WEDNESDAY.....WHEN THEY CHECK THEM ALL AGAIN.......BUT WE'RE ARE PRAYING VERY HARD THAT THIS IS THE TIME IS "THE TIME". THANK YOU ALL AGAIN.......

EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T SAY HI TO EVERYONE....OR DO THE REALLY NEAT LISTS SOME OF YOU DO (WHICH IS SO COOL AND I'M GLAD YOU DO!!!) I WANT TO SAY I PRETTY MUCH CHECK THE BOARD EVERY OTHER DAY AND I'M PRAYING FOR ALL OF YOU TOO!!!!

[ajdecker]

To all of you brave women out there-good luck. I have been a part of this group for a little while now, but wanted to say goodbye.

I am due to start my b/c pills on Wed, but know in my heart and in my head that I just cannot do this. My d/h and I have been on a ttc rollercoaster for 8 years now. We've been through 6 failed chances to adopt, both internationally and domestically and spent thousands of dollars for it, home study approvals, question after question from social workers, foster care licensing, holistic attempts, Clomid, surgery, IUI and the monthly having sex on just the right day attempts. I simply cannot do this anymore. The clomid I was just on has made me extremely emotional and I know its only going to get worse with the IVF meds and pressure. I don't want to put anything else in my body. I feel like I've been physically ill for the past two years between fibromyalgia and appendicitous(sp?) and making myself sick trying to have kids in any way possible. I don't want to put myself through anymore physical and emotional pain. I simply cannot do this and I can't say it enough. I'm giving it up to God. I have to move on with my life, with my marriage and try to give myself to it 100% w/o thinking about kids all of the time.

Good luck to all of you, I wish you happiness and may your dreams come true.
May God bless you all.

[vicky77]

Wow girls, so much going on!!

Charity, it was so nice to hear about you, we really miss you here!!!. I am very glad that you are doing ok and I totally respect your taking a break, I think it is totally understandable, I really hope you can come back soon though!!!

WIGAL, wow 7 ferts!!!, that is amazing!!!, so you are going to do 5 day transfer then?, I will be thinking about you all these days so all 7 of your little embies make it to Friday!!!!, and I also hope this time is "the time"!!!!!

Julie, ohh, I was so sad to read your post, but I respect your decision, it must have been a tough one though, right?. I know what you mean about not thinking about anything else but babies in such a long time, and giving your body so much emotional and physical stress, so please take your time, try to relax, pamper yourself with everything you have been avoiding all these years, and I hope you can find out what is best for you.....I wish you good luck for whatever you decide to do, it will be the right thing.....sending you big hugs!!!

How is everybody else doing??

We haven't had a list since Charity left, does anyone know how to bring it back to life again??? (Shantala explained it to me a bit on another thread, but still not sure how to do it, does anyone have any ideas??)

Happy week!!!

[Charity]

WIGAL...WOOHOO!! That's the best news I think I've heard in a long time!! Grow embies grow!! You hang in there dear friend, and know that all my hopes and prayers are with you, dh, and your embies...Speaking of dh, how's he feeling about it!? He's got to be stoked! I'm so happy for you both!

Julie...Such good news and such sad news in a matter of a few minutes of reading...I know what you're talking about though...Not that I have been on the fertility train anywhere close to as long as you, but do undertand the torment it plays on your physical and emotional well-being. You know what's weird, is I have fibromyalgia, too! We live so close, are so close in age, have the same issues going on physically, and emotionally, my goodness, it's as if we're living parallel lives... Okay, I'm probably reading a lot more into it than I should, but it is strange how we have the similarities that we do...It's also nice to know someone that is completely understanding everything I'm going through...We should stay in touch...Not related to the fertility sh*t anymore, but just as friends with a lot in common...You'll have to email me when you get some time or the inclination. If you'd rather not, and leave all this behind, I understand that too...It's been kinda nice not having to think about the whole IF thing for the past few weeks...Not to get too personal, but DH and I are having fun in bed these days!! It's not been a "chore" having to do it because it's the right time of the month, or the feeling that "why bother...it's not like we're gonna get pregnant", but actually enjoying ourselves...I did follow a link to a website someone recommended on the January forum, that talks about infertility and has a powerpoint presentation of a couple's journey...STUPID ME!! I was crying like a big baby...My dh caught me...Thought he was downstairs exercising for a while, but he finished up a little quicker than I thought...I've been trying to stay strong, but then every now and again, a wave of emotion comes over me, and I just start feeling sorry for myself, and feel that longing again...Then, I get myself back on track after a few tears, and I'm raring to go again...Do you suppose it's natural to grieve for the loss of a baby that never was..? Or am I being insensitive trying to compare my loss to parents that have actually grieved for a child they loved and lost..? Or should I just be grateful that I had the opportunity to try where a lot of couples don't even get that chance? As you can see, I haven't come to terms completely with this situation, but know that it's what is to be...for now...My thoughts are that you will take this much needed break, and come back even stronger. Not necessarily back to dealing with the "baby" situation, but back to "Julie" stronger than before and back to a marriage that is stronger than before. I know things have changed in us (my dh and I), but in a lot of ways, we're closer for it. So while we're more scarred and damaged, we're more intimate and those scars were made together. Not before each other, or from each other, but with each other. Not sure if any of this is making any sense...Heck! Half the time I don't even understand myself, so if it doesn't, that's understandable...Anyway, I just wanted to say that you're completely understood, and your decision has to be right for you, and I know that this is the best...for now...

Vicky...Thank you for missing me sweetie...I hope I can come back when the timing is right, both financially and emotionally. Kind of enjoying the break though...So, haven't been horribly motivated in seeking out our other options just yet...If you want to pm me your email address, I'll be happy to send you the "roster" to update. It will save you quite a bit of time...If you'd like..? Thanks again, all, and I'll be watching over you...

[CarolynB]

Wow. I am in tears having read such good and sad news in just a few posts and I am nowhere near the drugs yet.

Charity - what you wrote was so very moving. It is good that you & dh have come through this together and stronger and are having fun together. That is lovely. I worry about damaging my marriage almost more than I worry about never having a child. Could not stand the thought of losing my dh over this. Enjoy the time out and know that we all think about you often

Wisconsingal - I need to do the ironing but wanted to drop by and see how many you had retrieved and how they are doing. Great news. I shall pray all week that they keep going strongly. I think that if they can get to 5 day then that is a great sign. Fingers and toes crossed

Julie - What a tough call to make but we can all understand where you have got to. I think that it is just as brave if not more so to take the decision that you have as to carry on as some of us do. I wish you every happiness in what ever you decide to do next. You so deserve it. No doubt new paths will open up for you

Vicky - are you going to take on the list? I am really not sure how to do it. Did it for a while on another thread but I ended up copying and pasting the words but had to update the faces everytime by hand. There must be a better way?? Can we ask Aunty Pebbles how to do it? She did a fab board for us on Dec-Jan thread and it looked amazing. Sure that she'd have some tips for us

Anna - glad the acu $ helped. I just found that I can shop around for my ivf drugs and do not have to buy them at the hospital. If only I had known that for attempts no 1 and no 2. Heard that it can save a lot of money. I am going to shop around this time.

Hugs to everyone else.
Love
Carolyn xxx

[ajdecker]

Vicky, Carolyn and Charity,
Thanks so much you guys for your heartfelt words and hugs that I feel coming across the internet. I needed that. My d/h said he didn't know exactly how he would react when I made the call to the RE to cancel, but he started crying at work and said he is feeling great loss. But that he will be at my side through shots and u/s or just us alone together. He said he didn't want to see me go through it either and is also feeling somewhat relieved. Yes, Charity, there is definetly a loss for my child that I do not have. I cannot describe the loss I am feeling. But I know that this is what I have to do now and I just so appreciate all of you great gals out there for your big hearts. I may check back every now and again. Hope to see some positive BFP's out there soon!!

[sat14]

hi everyone, it's been about 1 month since i have been online. BFN on Dec 21 really through me for a loop, especially near the holidays. Got busy with a class and just finished it!! Thank to Lord! Just got AF today for the fist time since the BFN. Leaving for the Philippines and Japan in one week. I am starting Lupron on Feb 12 anf then stims once I get my next period, probably around the 20th or so. So if all goes well, I should be having my ER done at the end of the month or the beginning of March.
So many new faces here !!!!

Welcome nebies. Congrats on everyone else who has made progress, chins up to those who had not so great stuff! Have to run!

[pep23]

Hey ladies! Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!! We were up in Chicago for a wedding, the cousin of DH got married Saturday night. And then Sunday we came back to Indianapolis and went to the Colts vs. Patriots game. For all of you in the US you probably saw it and WOW it was a good one!! I'm not the biggest football fan out there but it was a great night and we had fun being downtown celebrating the big win with everybody. It's always nice to have weekends like that to take my mind off of the IVF stresses once in a while.

And on another note thanks to all of you for my congrats on the shared risk program. I'm really happy about it and feel like it was a good way to kick off our IVF journey!

Wisconsingal-
So glad to hear that ER went well Sunday!! I will have you in my thoughts and prayers the next few days leading up to ET. Good luck!!!

Mominwaiting and Dex-
Welcome to the February thread! This is such a great forum and I've really enjoyed getting to know the ladies on here. Everybody is so understanding and encouraging. It's so helpful to jump online and read get support from people who know exactly what I'm going through and feeling.

Julia-
So sorry to hear about your clinic making a last minute decision. I know it's hard to have unanticipated changes come up like that but hopefully you can trust that they are doing what they think is best for increasing your chances for success and even though it's stressful at times the end result will all be worth it!!

Anna-
I know exactly what you are feeling about the shared risk program. DH and I wrestled with that decision for a while as well. If we are successful on our first try we will have spend double what we needed to but in the end we decided that, for us, it would be worth it. I know that I tend to let myself get stressed very easily and I worry what effect that may have on my body during IVF so in order to limit the financial worries of multiple cycles I opted to pay a larger amount up front and be done with it. Everybody is different though. You are right in trusting your RE and, more importantly, going with your gut and following what you and DH feel is best for you!

Carolyn-
How was DH's birthday? I hope that you had a fun, relaxing weekend!!!

Julie-
Wow, your post really brought me to tears. I cannot even imagine how difficult it must have been for you to make that decision but know that you are a brave and strong woman to recognize what is best for you and DH. It's too easy to get totally consumed with IVF and wanting to have children and put everything else on the back burner. I am constantly trying to remind myself that rather than get upset about the one thing missing in my life I should be thankful and embrace all of the blessing that I have. My thoughts are with you and DH and I wish you all the best.

Charity-
It was good to see your little fairy signature floating about on this thread once again!! It's nice to know you are doing well and I'm so happy to hear you are taking this time to reconnect with DH. Sounds like you are doing well and staying positive and that's great!!

Well I just wanted to check in and say hi! Hope you all have a wonderful week!!

Steph

[ajdecker]

Pep23-Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, it was an extremely difficult decision to make. This will be a time of healing for us, rediscovery and what we mean to one another and time to count our blessings. My heart and prayers are with you as continue on your journey.

[WISCONSINGAL]

ajdecker;

SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU'VE HAD TO ENDURE.....I WISH THERE WOULD BE SOMETHING I COULD SAY OR DO TO HELP. I'M NOT SURE IF I BUG PEOPLE BY TALKING ABOUT GOD....BUT I REALLY DO BELIEVE IN PRAYER, AND I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR DH.

[Jen1d]

Hi girls

Oh i don't know how i feel after reading some of your posts. Wanted to say hi to the new girls and feel such mixed emotions especially for Julie. Am thinking of you all. Don't know where we get the strength from but WE ARE ALL BRILLIANT

Well just got back from England. We had a brilliant time at the party on Friday. Drank far too much and forgot how old we were, especially when we were doing shots with the 22 yrs olds wasn't a pretty sight the next day, much to their amusement.
My FIL was disappointed he could not go to the party and my MIL moaned continually as we never took him but just aswell we didn't as the Doc was called out the next day and told us he has another kidney infection Seems to be one thing after another. At least he wasn't taken into the hosp again.
We then went to our friends house just outside Newcastle and had a blast there. He was our bestman and she worked with me in Milan, i was matchmaker. They have two kids (9 and 6yrs) who are brilliant and so well behaved. Makes me sad to see my dh with them though as he is so good and i always feel i am stopping him have his own little people

Anyway on Sunday i started my ovulation kit and am just waiting patiently for the two blue lines to appear (will make a change as i usually only see one blue line ). Once this happens then its on to the hrt and the side affects----yuck .

Sorry its a fast one girls but i am back at work tomorrow and need to have tea then catch up on some sleep but know i am thinking of you all.

Love Jen x

[mominwaiting]

Ok I am on day 7 of lupron and so far so good no side affects. Took my last BCP today so I am looking for AF any day now. I will go for baseline/E2 on the 26th and start stimming on 27th. I am very excited and hope that I have good results. I just thought that I would add that I also have fibromyalgia. I wonder if that is a common link with us? I have heard a few people talk about IBS is that a side affect of meds or just isolated ot certain people?
Anyway Good luck to everyone You all are in my hopes and prayers!!!

[nerms]

Hi ladies! Can't believe i haven't visited for a couple of days and so much seems to have happened!

First Julie...i was totally thrown to hear your news ..please know that you and your dh are in my thoughts and prayers and i hope the break does you the world of good.

Wigal...what can i say ...so exciting to hear your news..i know you don't want to get excited about it all...but maybe the rest of us can get excited for you..it's great news..praying they grow nice and strong for friday and that before long your telling us about BFP's! Lots of baby dust to you!

The rest of you....hello...hope your all doing well...anna and steph...i'm sooooooooooo waiting now..really want AF to start soon!

Hope you're all doing well.

nerms
xx

[EYCI]

Hi Ladies -

I just wanted to wish all of you luck during your cycles. I was here a year ago, and now I'm a mom! I hope and pray that you will all have your dreams fulfilled.

Wisconsingal - Just wanted to let you know that I had my ER last year on Jan 23rd. We retrieved 13 and 7 fertilized. Our ET was on the 25th. The dates and numbers are almost identical to yours... So, I'm hoping it is good karma for you this time As another connection, I'm from Minnesota so I'm sending good vibes your way across the border (even if you happen to be a Packer or Badger fan)

Blessings to all!
--EYCI (Julie)