follow up

Kat · Post by **Kat** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 7:04 pm

Hi, had follow up consultation today (had 2nd -ve last month) to sort out next cycle after Christmas so I should be feeling all excited and hopeful again but I am not. It's just 'here we go again' without a lot of enthusiasm. I asked all the questions I could think of, they said not to take aspirin, a couple of coffees a day won't hurt, they just say nothing I can do can change anything, either the embryos implant or they don't. They said all the research is done on getting to et stage and not after that and no one really knows what makes them stick or not. I just find it all so frustrating that there are no answers. I know there isn't a magic formula but I thought they might have some suggestions. Then I went shopping and went for a coffee with an old friend who admittedly can be a bit of a tw@t at times and he joked saying he could get me pregnant if he had the chance ha ha. So that really helped. Not. So perhaps it's that that p*ssed me off rather than the clinic. Or the fact I have to pay out another £3k for my next tmt. So all in all, not a good day. Sorry, just just felt like getting that off my chest. Kat xx

kristenfig · Post by **kristenfig** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 7:22 pm

Hello, It is frustrating to go through all of this. I ask questions about statistics and scenarios and the response is 10 years ago would have been a better time for you (I am only 36 not 66). With all of the advancement in technology you would think they would have a clear cut definition. We all can only support each other and be positive and realistic. I was over-excited for the first 2 tries of IUI and very let down by it not being successful. I had a month off inbetween this new try which will be injections starting tonight...So I hope to be more level headed about this so when I do become pregnant, it will be all the more happiness for me...(I use when and not if to be +++)...I wish you well...Kristen

beckym · Post by **beckym** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 7:24 pm

oh Kat I'm sorry. after all you've been through with your dh and his accident as well. you do deserve to get pregnant. re the research after et thing, have you had a hysteroscopy? My clinic recommended it after my first ICSI failed - it basically checks to make sure that nothing is there (eg polyp) in the uterus which might prevent an embryo implanting and they measure the length of the uterus to determine where best to put the embies. Maybe worth thinking about? expensive, but I got it on my medical insurance, as it's a pre-IVF diagnosis. also I have been recommended to take baby aspirin and heparin to thin the blood cos of my BT results. think it depends on what your BT results are like. I think this is a really hard time of year to get through for us cos it's so child-focussed - Halloween, Guy Fawkes and then Xmas. You really have to grit your teeth sometimes. We just had 6 kids knock on the door - turns out they're all from the same family. not fair, is it? anyway, here's hoping it's third time lucky for you and a great New Year's present beckym xxx

Lisa Ch · Post by **Lisa Ch** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 7:32 pm

Kat that is exactly what my clinic say, just act as normal without going over the top with anything. No advice on what to eat/drink/exercise except not to much over stretching. This is the part of the process they know nothing about, some work and some don't. Somebody once said to me its like throwing a dice and a 6 is a positive. It makes no difference how you throw. I have decided that I am going to try and live as normal as I can, another reason i have decided to go back to work this time. Everybodies views are different and I think you just have to go with however you feel. Sorry just re read and this sounds like a right downer, don't mean to be. Love Lisa x

SQUEW · Post by **SQUEW** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 11:35 am

Hi Kat Good to hear from you fellow SCB. I have my follow up next week on the 5th, and I expect to hear exactly the same as you! as this is what happened after the 1st failure! Oh yes everything was great etc etc etc, if so why didnt it bloody work then! I know what you mean, if they could just say WHY it didnt work you could do something about it, but I guess they just dont know. I read a post from a girl who said that each time they did something slightly different to make it seem like the "1st" time, ie not going straight back to work/going straight back, acupuncture, reflexology etc etc. She did finally get a +ve but think it was her 4th or 5th attempt. Maybe that would help?! Anyway I hope to go for FET in January so will be a cycle buddy again and hope maybe it will be our turn! Love Sue xxx PS If you ever fancy lunch/coffee(asuming you get a break!)let me know as am happy to pop over to Burgess Hill and I promise not to say I can make you pregnant!

Kat · Post by **Kat** » Sun Nov 02, 2003 4:03 pm

Hi all, thanks for your replies, I know there isn't an answer to why it doesn't work but I am still just so frustrated. Also all clinics seem to have slightly different ideas about what to do and what not to do. I think it's a good idea to do something different each time like you say Sue, haven't quite decided what yet... Becky - I haven't had a hysteroscopy but I will ask the clinic what they think. Kristen - at least mine have not mentioned age yet (I am 38) they are always positive it WILL happen, I just wish they could work magic! Sue - I would love to meet for a coffee but work is absolutely flat out till Christmas and I am lucky if I manage to wee during the day some days (slight exaggeration) so will have to be in January, by which time we will be starting again! Lots of love Kat xx

kathryn · Post by **kathryn** » Mon Nov 03, 2003 1:12 pm

hi kat I could ditto your posting. so flippin frustrating. and although Im desparate for our little baby, the enthusiasm has faded and Im just feel so doomy and gloomy now with the dread of more failed attempts. our consultant said its up to us with regards to aspirin because in some cases it helps and some cases can be a cause of miscarriage.........realy helpfull! We are off to st marys now for more tests as to why the embies wont stick. hopefully that will be before christmas (according to our consultant, but Ill believe it when the app. card is through!) We are also having more blood tests at our clinic to find out if both steves and my chromos are compatible. my consultant hopes for another cycle jan(yeah right) or feb(yeah, im sure)........so we may be cycle buddies again! hows the bathroom coming along? Ive treated myself to some wonderful pinky/mauve camper boots! they are good enough to eat! bathroom is next on the list, just waiting for one of steves graphics jobs to end. people keep saying at least i can enjoy christmas ( some crappy consolation) I dont even drink!! anyway Ive babbled on enough about myself. havent been able to face the boards for a while. have up days and loads of down ones!!! anyway, let me know how you are, lots of love kathryn x

Kat · Post by **Kat** » Mon Nov 03, 2003 9:49 pm

Hi Kathryn, glad to have you back. I too have up days and down days but I'm OK really, sooo busy at work in the run up to Christmas that I don't really have time to think which is good. I really hope they find out something useful in all your tests. You never know, it could all go really quick and you won't be far behind me in the new year. The new bathroom suite has been delivered and is being fitted in a couple of weeks. It is in pieces in the spare room, all shiny white, but it is a bit odd sitting here at my desk and looking at a toilet and a basin (the bath is in Rick's Mum's garage because we don't have the space to store it). I am now on a mission to find nice tiles at the weekend. May have to go for a new pair of boots as well though haven't quite found the right pair yet... Only a few weeks till Christmas, can't believe it's gone so quick, hopefully 2004 will be a better year, I just want to get it over with. (And I don't drink either, even when not doing this lovely IVF stuff) Take care lots of love Kat xx

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