Message 4 Kathryn

Nicky Dean · Post by **Nicky Dean** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 9:46 pm

Hi Kathryn How are you, what have you decided to do next, just take time out or go straight back in, whatever you decide i know your strength will get you through. I'm still hanging around for my cycle, which is taking its time as usuall, been decorating a bedroom its the last room upstairs to be done, then we can tackle the rest of the house. Heard from ma & pa in new zealand there having a great time, telling me its a great country, i think there really taken with it, another 5 weeks till they get home, hope i can last that long............ Hope to speak to you soon, i'm in work tonite and i shouldnt be, covering for someone on the opposite shift. Take care Kathryn Lots of love Nicky xxxx

kathryn · Post by **kathryn** » Mon Nov 03, 2003 1:32 pm

hi nicky, sorry not to have been about. glad your ma and pa are having a good time. another 5 weeks yet....hopefully youll be well in to your tmt! thanks for the post! Our consultation was very much as we expected. we have been ref. to st marys. Our consultant says we should have an app within 6 weeks as its private(yeah right). in the meantime we are having bloods for a chromosone mis-match, which could end up with a donor egg or sperm, however he said that should be unlikely. he also reckons we should be cycling again in jan or feb.......like thats going to happen!!!! feeling really pee'd off and have no more enthusiasm left, as I just feel like it wont happen for us and theres the dread of negative after negative. im sorry nicky, this sounds way too negative doesnt it. the time I did get a positive result (although ending in m/c) I was really positive throughout the tmt....try and be positive, Im sure it has alot to do with it. there are many girls on here who it has worked 1st time....you will be one of those girls, youve been through so much. It WILL work! Ive just got grumpy because it a few years down the line since we started all of this . anyway, I bought those boots! they are pinky mauve suede camper boots and I love them, had already bought a brown pair as a treast when we had the m/c!!! I cannot resist a pair of booties! how are you decorating the spare room then? I hope its a neutral colour that will suit boys OR girls! just need your af to hurry on up! please stay in touch with me, i really appreciate you messages, it cheers me up! take care and speak soon lots of love kathryn x

Nicky Dean · Post by **Nicky Dean** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 10:41 pm

Hi Kathryn Great to hear from you, and thank you for your support it is so appricated....... Please dont be so negative, I know it cant be easy to think of it any other way, but you have been so through much but you owe it to yourself to keep trying for that little bundle of joy you are so entitled to, as we all are. I am getting so nervous as the days go on I know that my period is getting close, that when it does appear I'm gona run a mile, I think once we get going I'll be fine, i just know that at the end of the day as long as I've got my health I'll be Happy, just dont want to jepordise anything......... Yes I would love a baby, more than anything but since falling ill I cant stop worring, We went to the pic's on sunday and went for a chinse after and I had chicken curray which did not agree with me at all, so much so it felt like the pain i had when i first went ill in portugal, god I was so scared, because they have told me it will happen again, but not for another 25 - 30yrs, hopefully.... Anyway I managed to sleep and felt OK the next day, thank god!!! Its things like that, that really make me think about what i'm going through and is it all worth it, i hope so. I'm so glad you bought boots, still havent got mine yet i think DH is makin me sweat for them, I keep saying I'm worth it but he's not avin it, I 'll blackmail him some where... Well my back bedroom is white on most of the wall's and just Sexy pink on the back wall, have put spotlights up and laminated flooring, typicall girls room, but we havent done it so we can change again, because when i mentioned this to my counsellor she said we werent to look at it as becomming a nursery, so that's what i'm doing Have you gone private all the way with this? you keep going with this girl I want us to be cycle buddies all the way. I'm in work now till friday eve, so I will be contacting you again. You take very good care Lots of love Nickyxxxxxxxxxxxx