Pheonixes Rising

[Lis]

Hi Phoenix luvelies!!

Julie - glad you are feeling better now sweetie. That's great news and good on you for having some vodka - you sooo deserved it. Your tolerance doesn't half go down though huh? One drink and your legless tee hee But the tolerance increases quickly enough tho as I found out over Christmas Anything happening with your in laws?? You have every right to be concerned - you are both going through a tough enough time this year as it is and its so important you get all the quality time you need with each other - which means no in laws hanging around 24/7(unless of course you really want them to!?!!)
xx

Jen - thanks so much for thread! xx you have such a great year to look forward to. Married and fab hol in MArch then the big 40 and egg donor cycle in June - way to go!! IS the russian clinic the best place to go then? How did you choose your clinic? I am just curious and interested hope you don't mind me asking.When's your hen night?? You'll have just as fab a time in Glasgow. Have you chosen somewhere for dinner yet?? You have such a great choice in Glassgow. The Vag Mon's will be great !! xx

Nicki - sent u you an e mail. I would 3rd what Julie and Jen have said re trying to get at least half of blood test paid for xx

Lucy, Souris, Kate, Gail and bump, MLG and Margarida - all ok????

I am trying to keep calm ..... no spotting yet to suggest AF is coming but cramps and sore boobs since Sat / Sun. I estimate AF to be here tomorrow but could come Friday at latest as ovulated 13/14 days ago now. Not saying anymore as don't want to jinx myself! But girls what should I do if AF not here tomorrow - do an evil HPT?? or wait that extra day til Friday (which will be hell as you know) to avoud any disappontment? Advice please

Off for some tea now

[nicolamark]

Lisa, I would wait for AF at this early stage, and liek you said it's a natural cycle so nothing is sure!!!

I would propably wait til monday and do it!!!!

Do want to waste ££££ on the wee stick, but then its easier said than done, when YOU want to know if your preg or not!!!

Some times those tests done even pick up hormones, I mean look at me last summer, it was 3 weeks after the 2ww, and still the test said not preg!!!
Stay positive thought, and dont stress!!!!

Re: the blood test's.......£350, I too, totally agree, but thats teh way it is, and i cant complain too much really when the IVF is cheaper for being a Donor,
It is a Question I will ask when I spk to my clinic on the 9th,

I'll keep ya all posted!!!

The snow turned into nothing, all this stuff about lots of the white stuff coming and then its a little flurry, and its all gone!!!
Had a shitty day at work today, so glad to get home, the company is expecting too much of us, ive just about had enough.I said to DH if it wasn;t for this IVF i would look for another job, however if i get BFN and god hope i dont then i will be looking for a new job.... If i get a BFP then i'll be leaving anyway, to be a mum!!!!!

Love to ya all, spk laters x xx Bye xxx

[nicolamark]

Jen, forgot to say to ya about this whole egg blood test thing, do u have to pay extra and how do u know that your eggs that u will recieve will be clear of this illness and the chromsomes are all ok.....

also how come you have chossen Russia, doesnt the language barrier scare you???

what about European countries?

and what about UK, 100's of UK girls donate eggs, usually like me who are in the infertility loop, and understand about it all.

You can have my eggs, I would like to know they have gone to a good person.


Lucy, How did u get on at the clinic 2day???

[luby]

Hi Girls

So sorry I can't do personals, but I'm at work and am very busy, going into a meeting in a min but wanted to let you know how my appt went yest, i'll do personals and catch up with stuff tonight when I get home..

It didn't go too well at my appt, can't seem to stop crying, my eyes are sore today with crying last night, really don't want to be here today…. Feeling really really down… My consultant said to me that because I'm on the highest does of stims I obviously can't go any higher so can't change my tmt.. He has told me to do my next cycle like I've planned because I'm wanting to do it but after this one, he wants me to stop tmt using my own eggs, he doesn't think I should carry on because each cycle my response is getting poorer and poorer, last time I only got 4 eggs but he also said my quality is good and I only need 2 good embies. He has referred me to see a counsellor for the Egg Donor procedure now cos its quite a wait, he said I don't have to go ahead with it but its good to get me on the list and speak with someone. Egg Donor is something I would definitely consider because I knew it would come to this one day anyway, but I have to be positive and think the next cycle will work...

We did speak a lot about egg donor and we discussed the new alw that the child has a right to know where he/she came from, he told me its advisable to tell the child then your not carrying this secret around with you all your life, but what id then that child wants to go and find its biological mother, that would be very hard....

I can't stop thinking about "what if" and "what might be" I know I shouldn't be doing that but I can't help it... I can't help thinking about not having my own child, I know having a baby from egg donor will be my child, but I mean biologically my own, the baby won't have anything of me....

Anyway my next cycle is going to work, I need to be positive.. IT WILL WORK..!

Right better dash, going to a meeting

Love to you all

Lucy

[Julie2039]

Just a quick post as not on my lunch and breaking company law!!!
Just wanted to give LUCY (((((((big cyberhugs)))))). I am so sorry you are down and the appointment didn’t go well. Please try and keep positive for the next cycle xxxx As for egg donor, I cannot comment as I am not faced with it and my views may be different if I were but my feelings on the situation at the moment are that you are carrying the child and basically it is feeding from you all that time that you are carrying and you are nurturing it inside you and it will be your baby as it was attached to you and you are giving birth to it. xxxxxxx
JEN – Heard anything from Russia???
NIKKI – hope you have better day at work today!
LIS – HOW ARE YOU????? Are you resisting testing? Hope ok xxx

Hi everyone else. x

[Lis]

Lucy I'm so sorry to hear you're upset after yesterday. Knowing that you may have to go down a certain route and actually hearing i from someone else are two entirely different things. Even if you know something deep down, its still every bit as hard to finally face .... but you're not even there yet!! You still have a cycle to go! Dh and I knew that there was never a great chance of his sperm retrieval being positive last year but yet when it wasn't we were so devastated - the physical pain that my dh would never be a biological dad was indescribable, so in a way I so know how you feel. I agree with Julie - you have in a way an advantage im that you will have carried your child and really connected and bonded with him/her through pregnancy and therefore the child will feel every bit as much yours as it would have done normally. Don't be hard on yourself either - it takes a long time to come to terms with and if it comes down to using a donor, you must allow yourself the time to grieve for what will never be That's the first stage before you can accept your new path to motherhood. Sorry if this is a bit heavey but my heart goes out to you - it was only yesterday we had tio make our decision to use donor sperm and although we've come along way its still bloody hard!!

Massive hugs xxxx

Well I'm still hanging on in there. Getting scared now ... every hour that passes I get a tiny smidgeon bit more optimistic but as I've normally had lots of signs AF is coming by now or AF herself has arrived I am terrified of getting too optimistic cos she'll probab;ly cruelly arrive at the last moment. Keep getting waves of cramps and thinking AF is about to start - have had this since this morning. This is killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will keep you posted xxx

[nicolamark]

Hiya everyone!!!!

Lisa, I am rooting for ya honey, all sounds positive!!!! If u get preg, my faith in iui will be back!! then I'll have wished id gone for no 6 too!!!!
but they say Af pains/cramps= BFP too, as the wombs is starting to stretch..... good luck!!!

Lucy, I have Pm'ed you ok!!!

Jen, have u any news from Russia yet???

julie, you be careful breaking company rules, I wish we had internet @ wrk. I have to wait til I get home!!! How are your embies???

Souris??Kate and Are u guys ok???

Gail, tick tock!!! not long now, how ya feeling???

MLG??? how's motherhood treating you???

[jen babes]

Lisa Hang In there !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are holding your hand x x Keep the Faith x x


Lucy Honey I know exactly what you are going through honey...I am at that stage too...My only thoughts with you are that it is another loss you are going through after so much grief...You do only need 2 embies and therer are girls on the site that have had one embie put back and become pregnant. You know you can carry on with the next cycle and hopefully it will be the one that gives you twins ...and if it doesn't work, well you can give your body a well earned rest and take time to heal your wounds before going for ED. IT's so tough when the breaks you want don't come...BUT you do have another chance on the next cycle. My advice would be to focus on getting your mind and body ready for that...FOCUS honey on growing eggs eggs and more eggs ton the next cycle. Hopefully you might get some frosties to freeze for siblings! Love and gigantic hugs to ya sweetie x x You are so strong...Have FAITH x x

Nicki- For me the chance of getting donor eggs in britain is 3-5 years away. The docs in scotland said NO CHANCE..t. If i wait for English eggs
then i will be too old to get them. They don't give to over 42' year olds.
So I have looked into other forums like conceieving abroad. The top clinic s are in Spain. Barcelona and Ukraine (kiev). Spanish costs ofEgg Donor t of a normal cycle and Kiev is £3-4000....It means we can go twice to Kiev ( if need be ) for the price of 1 trip to Barcelona. Although barcelona is MUCH easier to get to!!!! My great grandparents on my mums mums side
were from Russia and left there in 1883...So i suppose I am drawn more to that side at the mo.
hi to everyone else i am busy with wedding invites and labels... and tearing my hair out trying to line up labels....We are hopefully going to Aviemore again this weekend for some skiing so will catch ya monday ...HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND...

love jen

xxxx

[Lis]

I am totally confused girls. Help! I got up this morning and saw the very faintest sign of light brown spotting on the toilet roll (the kind no one but you sees). Convinced my self AF is on her way so have cried my eyes out since then and haven't been able to go to work - I work with young kids under 5 and babies every day (testing their eyes for squints etc.) and I just couldn't face that today. Its like a slap in the face seeing all these happy mothers with their kids whilst you are having to remain polite anf make all the usual noises ansd smiles whilst testing them and also asking the mothers all about their birth history etc. Anyway faint spotting has since gone again and no obvious sign now that AF is on her way. Some intermittent cramps ans still have really sore boobs (6 days now). I am so scared - normally AF here well before now. Even on first cycle she had appeared by now so this is longest have ever gone without her appearing in all my cycles. Pretty sure I ovulated 15/16 days ago now. But I am still convinced this must be a cruel joke and she is deciding not to give me any warning this time.

Do I go out for an evil hpt if no sign by this afternoon?

Or do I try and keep myself extremely busy and see what happens??

Sorry for waffling but my head is all over the place

[jen babes]

Lisa I posted on your test thread...If no AF by this afternoon GO BUY A HPT!!!! Can't believe i am saying that but you have had a drug free IUI cycle. If it was IVF then you have to wait 17 days after HCG before testing... I am feeling so good for you...Like Nicki said i will have my FAITH reswtored with your BFP... AM Holding my breath for you and DH sweetie ....


Hi everyone else...have a great weekend I am off to aviemore again for soem skiing!!!! Broc already getting excited as I am packing the motorhome!

Love jen
xxx

[Julie2039]

Hi girls

Hospital went ok. Basically said that i had a large amount of fluid in my lining and it could be caused by stimming drugs or damage to tubes but think stimming drugs. I have to wait for next AF (about 3 weeks ish) then ring up and they will give me the tablets I need and then ET should be 6/7 weeks from there. If when they scan me I am fluid free then they will do ET, if fluid there they will cancel again and then do laparoscy to see what prolem is.

The 5 embies we have are "low grade" as in they haven't been cultivated yet so are 1 big cell. They will defrost all 5 and see what survives and thrives for ET. Will have to do injections etc again of doesn't work first time as won't be any left but they good news is DHs sperm is still plentiful if need be as they only used 1 straw out of 5 for this cycle!!!

LUCY - Hope you are feeling better today. More Hugs to ya xxx

JEN - Have a great weekend away

LIS - Posted on your thread. CANT WAIT to hear!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope all other girlies are ok. HAPPY WEEKEND XXXXXX

[Lis]

I am sh****ng myself!! .... have an evil hpt in my mitts as we speak ..... off to pee .....
_________________

[jen babes]

***BFP***BFP***BFP***BFP***BFP***BFP***BFP***
***BFP***BFP***BFP***BFP***BFP***BFP***BFP***
***BFP***BFP***BFP***BFP**BFP***BFP***BFP***
***BFP***BFP***BFP***BFP***BFP***BFP***BFP***

Well done LISA....Go PHEONIX GIRL....

You have restored my FAITH....and are our 1st positive this year....THERE will be many more yet to come...

We will be yummy Mummy Pheonixes in 2008 !!!!!

Love top ya Honey....Iam sooooo Pleased for you and DH!!!!

love jen
xxxx

[jen babes]

***BFP***BFP***BFP*** ***BFP***BFP***BFP***
***BFP***BFP***BFP*** ***BFP***BFP***BFP***
***BFP***BFP***BFP*** ***BFP***BFP***BFP***
***BFP***BFP***BFP*** ***BFP***BFP***BFP***

Well done LISA....
Love to ya Honey....

Iam sooooo Pleased for you and DH!!!!

love jen
xxxx

[luby]

Hi everyone

Lisa - OH MY GOD, CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU - SOUNDS GOOD TO ME... WILL YOU GET RESULTS TOMORROW OR WILL YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL MONDAY.....

Also want to thank you for your message, you are right I am not even there yet, this cycle might work for me. I can totally understand how your DH feels, not ever being able to be your Childs biological father, I know how hard this is for you and your DH and what you both have been through, you know that saying "anyone can be a father, it takes someone special to be a daddy" I know your Dh will still be still hurting and I really feel for you both. Your right I would have an advantage, carry, bonding with the child, being able to give birth.. I want you know I'm not even going to think or speak about ED until I know I have to. One more time congratulations darling, you and DH so deserve this...... I first read your post on your own thread and must admit my eyes filled up, I'm very happy for you....

Julie - Thanks for the cyber hug, it was lovely. Wow, ET doesn't sound that long away, hope your embies thaw out lovely for you. Lets hope all the fluid has gone on 1st scan then you don’t have to put off again..

Jen - Also thanks for the hugs... I am so hoping my cycle gives me twins, how amazing would that be, I really am going to be as positive as I can about my next cycle. Thanks for your advise, and thank you for your support over the last 2 1/2 years, you have been brilliant and you have been there through all my cycles, lets hope we will be both celebrating BFP's this year... Have a good time in aviemore this weekend. Take Care sweetie.. Big hug to you.x

Nicki - Hi hun I've posted on March thread, I will email you tonight. Hope you're OK?

Souris - Are you in France?

Hi to everyone else, Gail, MLG, Kate, and anyone else I've missed.

I am feeling better today, I have decided to concentrate on my next cycle and if it doesn't work then to think about egg donor, my consultant has already put me on the list though (mustn’t have much faith in it working huh) he said If I have a donor who will donate then I'll go to top of list, well my sister really wants to donate to someone after she's had her baby as her family will be complete and she really wants to help a couple have a child, because she's seen how hard and heartbreaking this is.... I couldn't ever accept her eggs, but that is a personal choice, if other ladies have had eggs from family then its OK. my sister said I could have her eggs but I just couldn't, so what will happen if it comes to is, she'll donate and I'll get another ladies egg - AS I SAY IF IT COMES TO IT.....

Looking after my niece tomorrow, think I'll take her swimming, she is 4 (going on 34) next month, honest the things she comes out with are so funny... then tomorrow night family are going out for a meal because its my sisters birthday (well it was on Tuesday) think I'll get the wine in, as don't think I'll be having any after that...

Right going to make tea now

Have a good weekend all

and thank you all again for your messages.

Lucy

P.S LISA I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT..... WELL DONE