Thoughts on impact of STRESS during 2ww on IVF success?!?

[kswann]

Does anyone have any sense of how much stress during the two week wait influences success in a frozen or fresh IVF cycle? Any stories of women who were totally stressed out and had positives after the 2ww??

I just did an FET with three, good quality three day embryos. For a host of reasons I was REALLY stressed during the 2WW. Needed to take over-the-counter meds every night to sleep or I would have been up staring at the ceiling all night! I was also protecting myself from the disappointment of a negative by refusing to believe the cycle would be a success. Plus, I think I had a hunch it wouldn't -- (who knows what comes first, a hunch or the defense that protects us from failure!). So, of course, I've got a bit of that "did my negativity/stress cause us to fail" syndrome happening.

Anyone else thought about or wrestled with this??

Karin

[adbwifey0804]

During my 2ww I was so stressed. At first I was okay, I was just happy that I actually had 2 live embryos in me. But by the day after transfer and on I was worried. I was sick and worried. I would go back and forth thinking it worked and then that it didn't work. I seriously felt my stomach in knotts.

Our IVF DID work. We ended up with one baby but sadly lost him at 8 weeks.

[kswann]

Thanks so much for getting back to me! I'm so sorry about your loss. We lost a baby early on at 6weeks. It's so hard. Did they have any explanation for a cause, or were you left without knowing?

And it looks like that was about a year ago for you too. Have you been trying in the past year. I see you are up for another FET soon. When will that be?

Kswan

[Kabillion]

I stressed out sooo much during the 2ww and cried every day thinking it did not work. Fought w/ my dear hubby about all the money we wasted....Needless to say we received a BFP so stress did not effect our outcome.

[Kabillion]

I stressed out sooo much during the 2ww and cried every day thinking it did not work. Fought w/ my dear hubby about all the money we wasted....Needless to say we received a BFP so stress did not effect our outcome.

[kswann]

Kabillion,

Wow, what a treat to hear from you. So excited to hear about your boys too! I told my husband how great it was that people who were pregnant with IVF babies were sticking around on these sites to encourage those of us who are left ripping our hair out.

Thanks so much for checking in. I'll keep your story in mind if I stress out next time. However, I'm working REALLY hard now to do everything I need to do to take care of myself so that I don't flip out as badly as I did last time. It's weird, in some way I feel like I need to be prepared that we may never have (birth) children -- I somehow think that getting closer to accepting that possiblity helps me be less panicked. Not that I'm giving up, just letting go.

Happy pregnancy!

karin

[suzhan]

I was very stressed in my first cycle, but did get a bfp (but we later lost him at 8 weeks.) I was also very stressed in my second cycle and did get a bfn. On my third cycle, I did acupuncture twice on the day of transfer (right before and right after), which seemed to really relax me that day. Plus, my RE gave me a valium to take about 20 minutes before the transfer (I also had this in cycle 1 but not in cycle 2.) This really helped me relax during the transfer and then I just came home and slept a lot for the first day. I've heard that having a relaxing transfer is maybe the most important part. As to stress during the 3rd cycle, I tried some visual imagery CDs made for IVF cycles that I got on line - it's kind of like focused meditation you do for 20 mins a day. I can't say whether it helped with the cycle, but I really helped my mental health. That said, by the end of the 2ww (the day before my first beta), I completely melted down - I had taken an HPT in the morning and it was negative and I really lost it. Needless to say, it was an error (and the HPT the next day was positive!) So, I guess I'd say I had less stress in cycle 3, but still some stress! Not sure what the moral of this story is, but I guess it's that stress with this process is inevitable and probably doesn't directly impact the outcome, but the more you can do to remove your stress can only help both you and your chances. Good luck to you! I hope your next FET is a success!

- suzhan

[adbwifey0804]

Thanks so much for getting back to me! I'm so sorry about your loss. We lost a baby early on at 6weeks. It's so hard. Did they have any explanation for a cause, or were you left without knowing?

And it looks like that was about a year ago for you too. Have you been trying in the past year. I see you are up for another FET soon. When will that be?

Kswan

We are having the baby tested for chromosomes and genetic testing too. I won't get that in though for another week or so.

I did my IVF this past Nov. 2006. I lost the baby almost 3 weeks ago at 8w4d.

I go see my RE on Monday to see what is next which I suppose is the FET (we have 4 frosties). I just wonder how long I have to wait.

[kholtan]

I am on my two week wait right now and my results come Wednesday. . .The wait is horrid!! I had my first melt down yesterday when the t.v. remote went on the fritz and all I could do was cry. The progesterone shots are making me soooo miserable.

I just don't feel any different at all. . . should I? Did anyone else? We implanted 3 good quality embryos and everything elso looked great but this is our first try and I thought I would know I was pregnant and I don't. So scarey~

[kswann]

Great to hear from all the respondents on this subject. The stress factor is, of course, huge!

Kholtan - hang in there with the wait! Ugh, I know how crazy it is. In terms of feeling different, I have heard time and again that some women do and some women don't. 1st time I got pregnant (miscarriage 8wks) I was SURE I wasn't pregnant. In hindsight, I did get a lot of pimples that week (which is not usual for me) and later found that that was a symptom of pregnancy. HOWEVER... while I know it's so hard not to look for all those signs, I don't think they're very reliable. For myself, I had to give up thinking that my body would give me any cues for pregnancy as the drugs give me so many symptoms that I can't really trust my body to give me clear signals any more. In my 22W I've been nauseated, cramping, sleepy all so called symptoms. But all, also, side effects of progesterone.

Instead, I just try really hard not to pay attention to any new symptoms as if they mean anything. I know people used to tell me that...Dr.'s insinuated I might make things up in my head thinking I was pregnant, etc., etc. It used to infuriate me! No one know's (unless they've been through it) what it's like to have all this going on IN YOUR BODY! Perhaps, though, enough times of expecting something, then getting nothing, has just led me to stop thinking my body will give me a sign.

Anyway, back to you...you have two days left to wait. Totally get the meltdown in front of the TV. Does your husband help at all? Did it feel good at least to cry?

I can't remember is this your first transfer?

K

[bonniedoo]

this is such an interesting topic. i am 3 days away from my pregnancy test on my 2nd IVF. i have been a complete basket case. i am functioning but feel horrible. i cried for about 3 days in a row but that ended and now i am just miserable (probably from the progestrone). this is a very hard time and i wonder the same. we are under so much stress and doesn this impace the results. honeslty, it doesn't matter what i do i am so stressed about all this. good luck to all of you and hang in there with the 2ww.

[kholtan]

Thanks for the input! This web page helps me so much and I wish I would have found it earlier. It's a relief to get real women's responses and to cheer on others in the same position.

This is our first transfer. We tried clomid ect. . and I knew I couldn't get pregnant over ten years ago on my own but then two years ago we got pregnant and it turned out to be ectopic and a very large ectopic that I ended up in emergency surgery over where they gutted that side of me. But for some reason, I thought this meant they were wrong. So we have tried ever since and finally on my 33rd Birthday I was scheduled for this appointment and the Dr. simply said to skip everything else and go straight to IVF. I love my Dr!!!

So, all things have been really smooth. Today he went over everything with me and I actually had 49 eggs retrieved and 36 fertilized and out of that 26 were a grade 7 or higher. So we did better than I thought. We have 23 in the freezer and put in 3 very high quality embryos. Everything but the 2ww has been pretty easy except the progesterone shots! OUCH!

My DH is actually really great. He just kind of left the room and let me have my moment, then he came back after my hysterics were over. He's been awesome and really involved. The best part is that he completely understands and could explain it to his friends if they ever wanted to know anything other than what "The Room" looks like for the men. Men?

It's been an emotional road but it took me a long time to realize that my body had failed me naturally. You might say I'm an over achiever and failing myself was hard to admit.

Now we only have until Wednesday to get through and then we'll meet our next hurdle and deal with that when we get there.

Thanks so much for all the help. I can't tell you how odd it is to have so much in common with women you have never met.

Best wishes~ Kimberly

[kswann]

Great to hear more of your story Kimberly. You produced a lot of GREAT eggs and embryos -- way to go! In fact, that's an unusually high number -- I produced about 49 eggs in the retrieval (not as many fertilized as for you) but that was almost a record for our San Francisco clinic (I have PCO symptoms and am prone to hyperstimulate.) Did anyone tell you that was a lot of eggs/embryos and say anything about it? Anyway, it's great either way. I really hope this works for you. I know, this web-site and another one I'm on have been a life saver -- I just discovered them recently myself.
Fingers crossed for you!
Karin

[faithful1010]

Hello everyone!

I am new to this and sooooo glad to see that going crazy during the 2ww is normal! I, too, thought that the rest of the cycle has not been too bad....but this is making me nuts!

This is mine and my husband's first attempt at IVF. We had 19 eggs and 17 fertilized. We implanted only one that they said was "flawless" and froze 7 others. We are both sooo nervous about the pregnancy test day. It's only 3 days away...Feb. 2nd...but feels like an eternity away!

I keep thinking that anything I do is too much and that I should really just be lounging in bed until then so I don't mess anything up! I did stay on my couch for 4 whole days after transfer, so maybe that helped!

Anyway, I pray for strength for everyone and patience to get through this rough time! Hopefully, this wait will be well worth it!

[kswann]

Hey everyone,
Someone on this listserve pointed out this website with guided visualization CDs for women wrestling with infertlity. I've know about these CD's for a while but in my arrogance presumed I could do this without them. Yea, right! I just order one today and will let you know what I think. The woman who referred it to me said her mental health was really helped by them.

Sending my love. Hang in there everyone!
Karin