NOV 06 IVF girls....

vicky77 · Post by **vicky77** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 6:37 pm

Noodle, I know what you are saying, same thing happened to me, it was weird to be at the clinic waiting and see everybody else in their cycles, or pregnant, and you feel like you have been thrown back to zero......it sucks, I know, but hang in there, we will be back in preggo land soon!!!....see you there

noodle · Post by **noodle** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 8:13 pm

thanks Vicky, it was a bad morning, a lot of tears. Good Afternoon news though, DH got job, out of work since December. New job has HMO so we will be able to do IVF again, sooner rather than later like we thought. HMO covers in NJ and my company recently dropped HMO so we were going to have to raise $$ first before another IVF cycle. With my recent rants I was ready to join the blue stiletto(sp?) thread.

vicky77 · Post by **vicky77** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 8:21 pm

Noodle, that is great news!!!, both your DH getting a job and the HMO!!!!!!, hope to see you soon in one of the threads!!!...........and you should definitely join the "blue stilettos" thread, it is lots of fun!!!!!

noodle · Post by **noodle** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 8:43 pm

Vicky- thanks for the well wishes! these treatments and procedures break your heart but in the long run worth it, but it makes it so much more stressful when $$ starts running low, sick of eating tuna every night??

vicky77 · Post by **vicky77** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 8:53 pm

Yes, I know, the money part of all of this sucks, but what can we do, apparently we are high maintenance girls, hehehhehe

Jovigal · Post by **Jovigal** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 9:17 pm

Hey gals, bad news here. I haven't been feeling so well the past few days so I went to my regular OB/Gyn doc for a check up. I told him that RE did a scan a week ago and it had measured small but had a heartbeat so he wanted to scan me. I knew something was wrong immedicately when the u/s tech (a friend of mine) gave me a look. it hadn't grown any since the last scan and there was no heartbeat. She called the doc in and he confirmed it. I felt like I was going to loose my mind at that moment. Nature is so cruel sometimes. The bad part is that I had to tell my 6yr old daughter about it. BUT, we're all doing ok now. I know things happen for a reason and that miscarriages are very common. I called my RE from the OB office to try to get an appt with him asap. I go tomorrow morning to talk about the next steps. Another bad thing is how do you face people that knew you were pg? I just want to curl up in my bedroom and never come out.

I'm sorry for dampering the thread...it's not intentionlly believe me. This is my 1st m/c and I just dont' know what to expect next. If any of you could recommend any websites I would appreciate it.

One positive note from all of this, I am so grateful to have been pg for this short time. It was one of the best feelings I have experienced or ever thought that I would experience again. And I know my little angel is in better hands now.

vicky77 · Post by **vicky77** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 9:36 pm

Oh, Jovi, I am so sorry. I know what you mean about how to tell people what happened, I didn't want to talk to anybody after my m/c. What I did was tell my best friend and asked her to tell my other friends and ask them to please not call me or email me since I didn't want to talk about it at that time, I didn't want people reminding me of what happened. And everybody was so great, they totally understood, and now that I am better I am talking about it with them.......
So just do what is best for you, this is not the moment to be polite.
I don't know of any websites in particular, at that time what I did is just google m/c and got all the info I wanted from there....
We are all here for whatever you need.............
Sending you HUGS........

meg12 · Post by **meg12** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 9:51 pm

Jovigal--Oh, I am so sorry. I can't even imagine how heartbroken you are. Words don't begin to cover it... Please take care of yourself!

Fed7281 · Post by **Fed7281** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:50 pm

Jovigal I am so so sorry. I cant express how sorry I am. I know that there is not much that can be said to make you feel better but I just wanted you to know i am here for you!

Erin

suzhan · Post by **suzhan** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:37 am

Jovi - I'm so sorry - I wish there was more I could say. You know that I too went through this in April of last year and it was truly devasting. Just like you, I couldn't talk to anyone - not even my family - for a couple of days. DH had to tell our parents. It took me a few weeks to tell all the people I had told. I remember I didn't even want to leave the house for several days after my d&c. I didn't know about this page at the time but still turned to the internet to try and figure out what could have happened. Eventually, we found out that the baby had a chromosomal problem so there was absolutely nothing that anyone did or could have done and the baby never would have survived. My RE tried to explain that having one positive pregnancy test - even if it ended in a m/c - was still a very positive sign. I couldn't hear any of it at the time, but eventually it rang true and was backed up by a lot of the research I did on IVF and miscarriages on the internet. Getting (and holding) a baby as long as you did is a very good sign that you can do it again and it's very likely your baby also had a chromosomal problem. As Vicky says, it's not really IVF at work - even in 'natural' conception, there at least a 20% miscarriage rate (maybe higher if you try to count chemicals that many women never even know about when they're not doing early blood tests like we are.) It's sad that most people just don't talk about it, so when it happens to you, you feel like a 'defect'. When I finally did start talking with other women, I was shocked at how many told me they had a miscarriage - nearly every person had either experienced it themselves or knew someone close who had. My boss had 2 miscarriages, 1 fetal demise and now has two beautiful teenage daughters - but I never knew any of that until I had to tell her about my m/c (because I took 1 week off of work.) The most important thing is that you were able to successfully conceive and just knowing that is a big step forward. Take all the time you need to pamper yourself and recover. And don't hesitate to ask any/all questions - many of us have been there and understand just how hard this is. All my thoughts and prayers are with you.

- suzhan

cinders101 · Post by **cinders101** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 2:44 am

Jovi: I'm so sorry and sad for you. Take as much time as you need and talk to people when you are ready. I can't imagine what you are feeling..my thoughts are with you.

noodle · Post by **noodle** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 2:18 pm

jovigal- I posted on the IUI thread, but wanted to know, how sorry I am for you, last week I was going through the same thing. Every day gets easier I promise. But don't expect to stop crying anytime soon, I didn't for a week and even last night going to bowling for the first time "since" I would have expected DH to tell everyone, but didn't. Everyone asking me sent me right back into the black hole. But I back today, I'll keep you in my thoughts.

beachbaby · Post by **beachbaby** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 2:41 pm

Jovigal, i am so sorry for you, i hope time eases the pain and you find the stregth to try again.take care
J

hopeful-in-LV · Post by **hopeful-in-LV** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 7:06 pm

Jovigal, I am devistated for you!

I'm so sorry. I'm sure my words will do nothing to cheer you up. Know that I am thinking of you and here for you if you would like to talk. (((((hugs)))))

elliecat · Post by **elliecat** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:41 pm

Jovigal i am so sorry for your loss. You need to take time to deal with your loss. Maybe you could let a friend or family member to tell others your sad news so you don't have to. I will be thinking of you take care
Ellie x

NOV 06 IVF girls....

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