Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

[Jen1d]

We're far to far down the message board

Just wanted to say good luck to Walshy for tomorrows scan. Will be thinking of you and hope everything goes well .

Must dash, off to work again

Love Jen x

[Walshy]

Hi Jen I hope that this cylce is the one for you and I am happy that you finally got your 2 lines to start on the great HRT. I think you are such a strong women to be doing the kind of work that you are and doing IVF as well. I seriously think that you will get what you deserve soon.

As for me this cycle is taking forever.......... The cysts have just got bigger there are no other follicles. My Dr though is confident that the other ones will pick up sooner or later as I have high levels but i am slowly losing faith in the whole IVF system. My Dh and I have had enough of this and are getting very disheartened. We want it to be over and know the outcome already can you imagine me on the 2ww. As soon as this cycle is finished we are going OS for a holiday to either Bora Bora or Vietnam havn't quiet deided yet.

Hi to Littles Steph and Camilla hope your all doing OK and taking it easy.

Ms Lola I notice that you have posted on another area but not here whats with that... I read that you are also taking a break and starting again in a month or 2. I hope everything is doing OK with you.. Drop us a line and let us know how your going we miss your crazy posts around here.

Til next time take care, Walshy

[Jen1d]

Hi Walshy

Looks like its me and you to keep the thread going until the others feel strong enough to come back

Thanks for your kind words, they mean alot but i think we are all so brave and strong to be going through all this crap.

I know what you mean about going through this ivf lark, its so draining. People don't understand why i am quite negative now and keep telling me not to be like that but its ok for them, they have never been through this rollercoaster and heartache

Anyway we must try and keep positve, as hard as it is.

Jealousy flashometer at the ready-----Bora Bora is somewhere i would love to go. I told dh i would like to go there for my 40th and stay in a stilt hut on the ocean with a glass floor then sunbathe, swim and snorkel all day----heaven

So we are counting the days down until the 2nd when i start my hrt. Just praying i dont get lots of side affects with this

Hi to everyon else, especialy Littles and Loops, hope you are both feeling stronger, come back soon with an update.

Love Jen x

[lolajones]

Hola my gorgeous-nesses
Sorry for silent treatment..... I'm not going to bore you with excuses.....

So man oh man! Walshy - your cycle is a long trek! I'm all "follies! Get your grow on dudes!" positive affirmations gal pal - they will get bigger and bountiful will be the egg yield!!! woo and a hoooooooooo!!!! I follow jemla on the jealousy - Bora Bora, what I wouldn't give to be on the beach next to clear sea and gigantic umbrella clad cocktail just at arms reach. MMMMMMMmmmmmmm.

Jemla I haven't got a single clue about the wierd cycle you're on. HRT?? what? When will egg collection be?? Where's your countdown ticker??? Hmm??? And you're right about feeling negative - what do they know? We do this every. day. So ass off losers!!! Leave us alone!!!!

Good to see our steph checking in - not many baby details - yo! The Steph! Don't be scared to tell us all about it!! We want the details, crave the details!

Littles - what news? Another course to keep you busy? More travel? any more ivf-ing planned? Post! Thats an order!

Camilla - cheering us on from the back - how're things?

So yes. Was due to start number, say it with me, 4 today but bailed. And I mean BAILED! I feel a lot better for having decided to stop this for a few weeks - for some reason I was feeling really anxious and negative and emotional (yawn) so decided to listen to reason and logic and say To Heck! Its just another few weeks! Whats the diff, miff? Yes indeed, this lark takes its not insignificant toll on us all. So in an effort to feel more in control of the process and chill the beep out, going 4 days a week for a while. Using my annual leave. Going to plan lots of lovely things to do on my Free! Extra! day off like......errr...... exercise! Yeah! Shopping!! Going to get myself a spanish tutor (mmm privado, oooh Javier, your grammar is so strong!) and and and its going to be topola! Going to a day spa this weekend with an old friend - some chick time. Can't wait - however means I'll have to spend some serious razor time to cull the jungle - I have let myself go grand style.

Hey, so, Greys - its the season finale herethis week but think I'm well behind you walsher. I've missed a load of episodes this time. So does she choose Der?? I would. I mean, come on!

Righto dudes, I'm off to reheat my curry - did a big cook and so now we'll be eating curry for 3 weeks, heh heh heh

Take care
Lola
xxxxxx

[Walshy]

Hi Ladies,

Well this cycle was not meant to be for me either...

I have spent most of the day crying over what could have been. There are no follicles growing only the 2 large cyst which has been eating up all the drugs I have been injecting. THey aer both now over 35mls. I had a trigger shot today hoping that they will burst. My arms look terrible with all the bruises etc onthem and one vein has gone crunchy due to them using it all the time (not to mention the scar there).

My DH and I have decided that this is it for us we will no longer be trying to have a baby. We are so emotionally and me physically exhausted from so many years of trying and so many disappointments that we are beginning to lose sight of who we are. We have become the couple trying to have a baby for so long that it is scary to think that we won't be doing that anymore. I am sad just typing that we won;t be trying anymore and that I will never have a child but it just wasn;t meant to be.

I hope that you all get your BFP that you so rightly deserve and wish you luck for your upcoming future cycles. As you can understand I need to move on from TTC and by doing this have made a decision to not go on any chat rooms that involve TTC stuff.

In saying that though I want to Thank You all for being there for me during my IVF journey as much as it sucked having to do this I am glad I gave it a try. I wish I had the energy to write personlas to you all but I have been crying non stop for 12 hours and am just so exhausted.

You all have my email address so please drop me a line from time to time to let me know how your going as you have all touched my heart in and I would still like to keep in contact. ANd Steph and Lola I am still awaiting my photo

Take care, Walshy

[Jen1d]

oh Walshy, i felt so sad and tearful reading your message.
This is just so unfair but i understand its just too difficult to keep trying with all the emotion and upset that go with each cycle.
I hope your not in to much pain and you and your dh find the strength to have a child another way. There are different options, i know you won't have concieved it but believe me i have nannied for years and could easily have taking a few of these kids home even though they were never mine.
I will send you an email from time to time, please keep in touch, you will be missed.

Love Jen x

[Jen1d]

Good to have you back Loops

Glad your taking control of your cycle, it always help if you have a break as you have to be in the right frame of mind to start.

Apparently my cycle is called a Flare cycle and basically they hope to get more eggs.
I start 2 hrt tablets tomorrow until the 21th then 3 until the 26th then will have to go for a scan. Don't know when ET etc will be yet but will keep you posted.
I am a bit concerned about getting good eggs this time. Its scary to think if all does not go to plan then i might be bailing out of this ivf lark aswell
Anyway must stay positive. Am eating really well and am running every second day for 3 miles, so i feel good and ready to kick this ivf in the butt

Ok go get your jungle sorted out and don't forget to paint the nails. Have lots of fun and please don't stay away so long

Love Jen x

[lolajones]

Oh walsher - I'm so sorry. You've worked so hard and deserve better. You need a rest and a long one at that. Please keep in touch. I hope that you start to feel a bit better and stronger soon. Like Jen says, I know its not what you set out to do but there other ways to have children. But right now you need it to be about something else. Sending all my love to sunny Australia sweet girl.

Jemla.... this thread really does tell the whole story of ivf, we've had instant success with Cam et al, miracles with Steph and the hard yards with Littles, walsher, you n me. Still here though! Toughing it out and still smiling! So flare cycle for you..... this will mean a bumper crop for you my love! This will not be an issue for you but.... have you ever thought about adoption? I've been giving it quite a bit of thought over the last few weeks. I'm getting on a bit now, I'm going through fet's like woosh. Previously I thought it was something I couldn't do, for many reasons, but lately, I don't know. If I'm not pregnant by the end of the year I think that may be the way forward for me.
You sound very fit and positive - I sooooo hope this works for you!!! Chant chant chant!

Littles - ou est ma petit? You have to come back and bouy the thread!! Ahora misma!

Steph - how's little miss Faith? When do you have to go back to work? You only get about 5 minutes maternity leave in the states don't you? Are you back to yoga? Check in - our rag tag thread needs you!!

Camilla - how're you and the kids?

Octos 05 calling Demetrio! Life raft in need of air and paddles! Get yo fat ass down here boy!

Take it easy
Lola
xxxxxx

[little R]

Hey there my Octofriends...

I am back in CH (Switzerland) at my parents' home (so don't have long to spend on this machine!)....DH is joining me in a few days...we were hoping for a skiing holiday, but with no snow on the horizon it seems difficult.

Won't bore you with my excuses for not posting... just need to take a HUGE step back from all of this. It hurts too much...

I have been on antibiotics again...another Urinary Tract Infection and the doctors want to investigate as I seem to be having them frequently...anyway, when I head back home, I'll be undergoing a colonscopy. Yummy... so I have that to take care of before even thinking about starting another cycle. I guess I am not so upset these days as angry at the world for its unfairness....

Anyway...that pretty much sums up my state of mind at the moment. Sorry, no great vibes to share. Hence my absence from the boards, I haven't had much "sunshine" to offer lately..

I am trying to enjoy life but sometimes I just feel so tired... I want to be myself again...this really takes a toll, doesn't it girls?

SO saddened by Walshy's words... I have offered my support in an e-mail, in the case that you thought I was being heartless...

Jen, great to hear you so upbeat and positive at the moment... all extremities crossed that you will kick infertility in the a__ as she SO deserves!

Lola, I can totally relate to what you mean... one month is not going to make a difference Carpe diem I say (but obviously I never take my own advice!)

The lucky ones, Steph and Camilla, how are the babies doing?

Much love to all,

Littles

[nes]

hi everyone. remember me??!

I have been having problems with my pc and my babies have been keeping me so busy that i haven't had much luck in trying to keep up with everyone, but i just wanted to say a quick hello to all of you.

For those of you that are still trying, please keep smiling - I hope that everyone of you has thet luck that you all so deserve... and for those of you that have decided to stop, then my thoughts are with you.

For those of you that don't remember me (or you might do!), I was part of the original october 05 thread. After a crap cycle I had twins on June 1st 2006. Someone must have been watching me because they answered my prayers, and my gorgeous angels have just turned 8 months.

I hope that you are all doing well, as far as you can be and that you all get what you are searching for.

Much love,

Nes
xxx

[Jen1d]

Hi girls

Walshy - Just wanted to send a big hug to Oz and hope your feeling a bit stronger?? Please keep in touch.xxx

Littles - SSSOOO jealous your in Switzerland, i love it there. You sound a bit down, come on girl we're the Octo Chicks and made of touch stuff. I know its hard but we must keep going if we are to get our dream. Hang in there babe, we are here for you anytime you want to chat .

Steph and Camilla - Hope your both up to your eyes in nappy heaven

Nes - Thanks for wishing us well. Good to hear from you and great news you are doing well---your a lucky girl.

Loops - The big A word????? Its confusing to me just now. We have thought about it lots but i still (hopefully) have the chance to have my own child and as long as that is an option then adoption is on the back burner.
It sounds silly but in one breath i think it would be good and i know i can love a child as my own, i did it when i was a nanny and could easily have taken a few of these kids home but in the next breath what happens if its horrid and we don't like the child----that scares me.
I think i would like to try with a donor egg first before adoption, at least i would give birth to it but that would mean more medi and ivf's?????
I want my own so it can look like me and dh, compare our smiles, noses, habits etc-------now i'm depressing myself, will we ever get this????
Ok snap out of it Jen, keep your chin up and get a grip.
What's your thoughts aabout adoption?

I'm feeling ok so far, only a few twinges in my ovaries. Do you guys think its ok for me to continue running every second day, i'm only taking the hrt just now?

Hey remember one of our friends, friends was getting married, already has a child and announced to me "married in a month, pregnant in two". We saw her on Saturnday night and it's nearly a year, she's still not pregnant and was asking my advice about doing an ovulation kit. Don't like to be nasty and wouldn't wish infertility on anyone but just have a tiny bit inside me saying hahaha serves you right for being so in my face and boasting---ouch that was nasty eh

Ok away to chill, had a run in with a social worker today and put her in her place big time----am stressed and need to relax

Love Jen x

[Inhale, Exhale]

Hello My Friends....

It seems as though the Tubers are becoming sparse.. I hope not! We as a group are so much more than just the fertility, we have become friends and need to stick together.

Walshy- let me say how sorry I am that your ivf journey has ended. I really hope that your journey to have kiddos has not. You need to be a mum and pass on all the luv that you have to give that lucky little tike. I was watching The Baby Story the other day and it was an adoption episode. The moment the mom and dad get handed their little baby is so gorgeous and emotional and filled with love, as beautiful if not more so than giving birth. Are you considering adoption?

Littles- I am sorry for your run of bad too. Don't give up on mommy dreams. You and Walsh deserve it!

Loolers- hey spanky.. when do you have a go again?

Jens- howdy pumpkin pie! it seems as though you are feeling good about cycle.. thatta TUBER! balls of steel and all that.. spanky pants are on for ya luvin. .. about the jogging... my McFertile made me stop when I began the shots to make the eggies... it seems as though big ovaries can rub together and get irritated.. atleast that it what my doc told me.. so I did not exercise at all during cycle. doctors orders! Sending all positive thoughts directly at you.. see the BFP, hear the BFP, BE the BFP.....

As for us.. Faith and I are doing great. She is 5 weeks old today.. I can't believe that. I know the time at home will go so fast and I will be back at work way too quickly. Luckily DH will be the one to drop her off at daycare.. I don't know if I could do it! Well, that is still a month and a half away.. trying to appreciate each moment.

OK Noodlers...

Catcha Latah
Steph

[Jen1d]

Hi Buds

Steph - 5 weeks, couldn't believe that, time just flies. The daycare thing - well i dreaded it when i was a nanny and the kids weren't even mine Its not fun but the best advice i can give you is not to hang around just drop and go then NEVER collect them late, the guilt is awful.

Thanks for your kind encouragement and advice, think i will stop (then feel fatter than i do now) and can go out walking instead.

Loops - Where you hiding now? Get back i need more buddies to help me keep this thread going

Littles and Walshy - How you guys baring up? We miss you both, pop in for a chat

I'm feeling ok, a little bloated at times but fine and no tantrums yet
it's snowing here and my day off so think i might treat myself to a trip to the cinema. I'm so used to running around and being busy that i get bored so easily

Ok, catch you all soon

Love Jen x

[lolajones]

oi oi

Y'see? Ask and you get! Littles, Steph and Nes all heard the call to arms for the rag tag fleet o 'tubers, woo hooooo!!!

Jemla la la lahhhh - tough cookie, no more runnning for you my sweet - take it easy! Glad your cycle so far so good with all that good eating preparing the way for egg centrale. Did you go and see a movie?

Steph - glad you're ok and little Faith is coolio, man, only a month and a half left before work again, sheesh. So are you getting any sleep? Details! How many times do I have to ask???

Littles - inner sunshine is sometimes very hard to find, but thats what this thread is for, how many times do we have to tell you?? Honestly I am having the same trouble as you, infection after infection and just washed out. We need Popeye spinach tout blinking suite dude! Or a bit of California sunshine in a tin if you get my drift.

Nes - good to hear from you - hope the twins are well. I remember your cycle very well - it was a nightmare. Must seem a long time ago now?

Walsher, if you're still reading, thinking of you lovely girl.

Calming Camilla - hope you've got the spanky pants on for our Jen.

I have nil to report! Still have the sinusitis I had 2 years ago, back with vengeance so swollen eyes, pale skin, listless hair (uh huh, I am one sexy *****) but I embrace my ugliness! Two fingers to the world of beauty! I scowl at your coiffed hair and stillettoed pedicured feet, pah! Did I tell you I'm dropping to a 4 day week? Well, I am. I cannot wait as work is like one of those machines you see on tv when they do documentaries about when someone did something wrong and made the headlines of a newspaper and they show the reems of newspapers being made - y'know? That machine, work is like that. Only even faster with bigger headlines. Enjoying it though. Went house hunting last weekend - I think there are about 2 houses in the whole of london that I can afford and both of those are made of Lego. Off to spa next weekend (postponed due to inpenetrable jungle issues previously), still doing Pilates, haven't arranged my spanish tutor yet.... hmmmm, shall I male or female?

OK, I'm off to shake my head despairingly at the washing up - how dare it multiply thus? take care you lot, or there'll be big trouble
love, Lola
xxxxxx

[Jen1d]

hi girls

Its too quiet round these parts lately

I have nothing new to report, still taking the hrt until 21st, then change to two different coloured tablets until the 26th, more happens after this. Seems to be dragging on forever but hey who wants to get to the 2ww fast

Hows everyone else doing?

Love Jen x