FEBRUARY (FET?) TRANSFER CHAT

[rebeccaj]

thanks fiona and schel - is so nice to have some support from people who are going through the same. I'm so confused with all these acronyms and the timing so I'm not quite as far into the cycle as i may have given teh impression. My retrieval is hopefully thursday or friday of this week - a bit delayed as my follicles are taking their time growing! Good luck to you both, my thoughts are with you X

[kswann]

Hi Rebecca,
Hope you retrieval went well. I totally get the anxiety. Oneo f the down sides of IVF is that it makes you feel like EVERYTHING rests on that damn blood test result because you're doing the most intensive treatment now (not just clomed, or IUI, or whatever else). So, all the emotions get heightened even more than they already are. Please let us know how the retrieval went and how you are feeling now as each day goes by.

We are scheduled to do our transfer on Tuesday. Tomorrow we thaw our day 3's. We have some blasts we will thaw Tuesday morning. I'm much calmer than I was last time but largely because I've turned a bit of a corner in accepting the if the worst thing happens -- we can never have children of our own -- I will survive. That's helped me, to know there will be life after this, even if we don't get pregnant. I couldn't even have that THOUGHT for the first year and a half we were trying. THat said, the hard part now is to keep open to the possiblity that it could still work! To be both receptive of a positive and accepting of a negative. AGH! Now that's the challenge!

Anyway, glad to see we are all on board here. Would love to hear updates from others.

Kswan

[FionaA]

Hi Ladies

Am just back from transfer, all went well apparently so now the two week wait is on!!

KSwann good luck tomorrow. If it's any comfort to you, mates of mine who went through a few IVF's got prego after they relaxed a bit....so sounds like you are on the right track, let us know how you go tomorrow..

Rebecca keeping my fingers crossed for your follicles and your retrieval, sometimes the waiting is the hardest bit!!

Alyson, hope things went well for you...

Schel, keep doing what you're doing sounds like your going really well!!

Fee

[Jul1e]

Hi all,

I'm also new to this, I seem to be at the same stage as you all so would like to join if you'll have me. I've just done my first IVF and had two embryos transferred on Sat 10th so I'm doing the dreaded 2ww now. Feel like I've done it so many times with natural cycles, then chlomid, then IUIs but this one is so much bigger and scarier! I'm somewhat confused by the 2 day, 3 day, 5 day transfer. We had a 2 day and were given no choice - we're on the National Health so there's no discussion and that seems to be the only way they do it. It's great getting it for free (after waiting for 2 years) but nothing's ever discussed with you and all decisions are made for you. Anyway, fingers, toes and everything else crossed for a BFP! Can't believe I've only been waiting for two days. Maybe I'll hit the pub and try and forget all about it! Ha ha ha, if only!

Good luck to everyone.

Julie

[kswann]

Hi Fee,
Glad the retrieval went well. I hope you're feeling OK. I couldn't see from your post if this was your first, second or? time? Either way...I'm assuming you're waiting now for a fertilization report. Go sperm Go!

Hi Julie, where in England are you? I grew up outside London. I don't know a lot about 2-day transfers except that they are done on occasion here in the US. A couple in our infertility support group here in SF just did one after three unsuccessful transfers. Sadly they lost the baby, but they did get pregnant. She actually requested the 2-day because she'd heard that it helps.

Fingers crossed for everyone. Keep us posted. I'm going to listen to my guided visualiation IVF CD now for ten minutes. Even though we didn't need to do progesterone shots (becasue we're doing an FET) I elected to do them instead of the suppositories because I sleep better and am in a better mood when I'm getting them. I need all the help I can get -- even if it's jacking myself up on progesterone --- during that 2ww!

kswan

[Jul1e]

hi kswan, am in Scotland.

Just got an email telling me about a friend falling pregnant. At the moment I've had two friends giving birth in the last week, 1 due in April, 1 due in July, 1 in August and 1 in September! All trying for practically no time, all but one in much shorter relationships than mine, the lastest under a year! Sooooooooooooooo unfair. Mustn't let it get me down but it is just constant in my circles at the moment. Can't wait til I'm pg and non of it will affect me any more. There, that's that vented!

J

[rebeccaj]

Hi julie,

I know it's easy to say but hang in there, it could be your time this time. Try and stay positive. I do know how you're feeling though as last year, one month after her wedding, my baby sister (she's actually 30) called me to say that she was pregnant - too many irish whisky's on her birthday. I'd been trying for 2 years and couldn't believe that she would get there first - they weren't even trying!

I'm still waiting to hear whether my retrieval day will be thursday or Friday - desperate to get there as am starting to feel really uncomfortable. Next scan is tomorrow morning so I'm hoping they will tell me then.

Send my love to the UK - I'm from Yorkshire and would love to be a bit closer to friends and family at the moment (living in Portland, Oregon).

Good luck everyone

Rebecca

[kswann]

Yes Julie and Rebecca,

The unfairness of other's pregnancies! I remember a year ago... I had just returned from being with my husband's family in Florida where my new, oldest sister in law eagerly inquired about all aspects of our miscarriage. I was hurting and partly enjoying the attention of her curiousity during that trip, and I answered all her quesitons. I found out a month later -- right around this time in Feb. a year ago -- that she was three months pregnant. She'd been trying the whole time she was talking to me about our miscarriage and was clearly wondering if she was pregnant at the time.

Then, just about five months ago, my husband told his sister, my other sister in law, she should consider starting to try because of the difficulty we were having. On Christmas Eve (*****!, kidding, but not really) she called to say she was three months pregnant. She's jewish, but we celebrate x-mas on x-mas eve in my family (A swedish tradition) so this way the gift she gave me. What a lousy day to tell us.

Niether of these women meant ANY harm. They have every right to get pregnant -- GLAD they don't have to go through what we're going through. Still, though, a small part of me detests them for having had no problems. I feel like I am a different species from them now!

Anyway, in my best moments I am able to stay with my body and love it, knowing it is doing the best it can. I am NOT them. I am ME. And I can only be with, take care of, and love the body I have. From envy to personal kindness. No easy feat, but the task at hand.

So, it is strange to be on another side of the planet and feel close to you both in your pain and hurt over family and friends conceiving and having babies. It is a certain solitude but through email at least, we are not so alone. We are the women who try hard and deeper our relatinship to ourselves and to life in a different way. Here's to hoping we can all keep a part of us alive that is strong, strong, loving and strong!

Love to you both,

Kswan

[Jul1e]

Thanks both of you. It's good to know I'm not the only jealous one. I get so annoyed that people I know fall pregnant so easily and then I feel guilty for wishing it was hard for everyone to make me feel better. Soon soon soon for us all I hope. I used to want 3 kids, now one'll do me just fine (although I wouldn't complain about twins!) My bro and sis in law tried for 4 years and got preggers on their 4th ivf, their twins are due in April! That makes me really happy. Just trying to get them some cousins!

On a different subject do either of you or anyone else know how strict you need to be about taking progesterone pessaries 12 hours apart? (I think you American ladies have more shots for that) I take them at around 8am and 8pm but have a work thing one night next week and don't know what to do. The prob is that you need to lie down for half an hour. Should I move them backward half an hour each time so that by next week I'm taking them at 4am and 4pm? mmm, tricky!

Rebecca, it sounds like you'll be ready very soon if you're sore, last week I could only wear ridiculously loose clothes cos I was so bloated and sore, my mum's neighbour saw me and asked if I was preggers! Is this your first go? My transfer was really easy, quite relaxing actually, having not had so much as a sip of wine for a month it was quite nice being a bit woosy from the sedation! I drifted in and out of sleep all morning. Good luck tomorrow.

love Julie

[rebeccaj]

hey Julie, yes it's my first go too....and hopefully last! No advice I'm afraid on the progesterone, they give us more injections over here and the progesterone needle looks like something you'd sedate a horse with! when is your 2ww over? my fingers are well and truely crossed for you.

[kswann]

Hi Julie (and everyone else too!)
Your protocol is pretty different from ours. we don't get sedated for a transfer. I happened to ask about valium, so i will take some to help keep me calm. As for the progesterone, I'm assuming you're talking about the suppositories. I was very flexible on when I put them in -- I certainly didn't worry about the doing them an hour earlier or later each day. Perhaps I should have, but I have a feeling the nurse at my dr.'s would say it would be fine to insert an hour earlier or something. Give 'em a call and check.

So glad to hear about your brother. Four tries. Was that four stim cycles or four, including frozen transfers. That sort of thing gives me hope. I think I should keep trying!

You sound good overall. Hope that's true.
kswan

[kbarry]

hi Kswan and all,
I'm new to any forum - feeling like I have no one to talk to that actually understands what I'm going through - sounds like you all just might understand

I had FET on Feb. 8th. Now I'm in the waiting game - PG test is Feb 17. Feeling some light cramping like AF is coming. Had that with fresh IVF cycle too, which resulted in BFN so negative thoughts are filling me head. Anyone else get that? Other than that - I'm symptomless. FET is much easier on the body than fresh IVF cycle. I'm using progesterone suppos. so no shots this whole cycle. Would love to hear from anyone


ME: 34 DH: 36 TTC: 29 mths
Endometriosis
7 rounds IUI w/clomid, 1 IUI with injectibles, 1 failed IVF (dec)
IVF #1: 2 blast transfer - BFN
FET#1: 3 blast transfer Feb. 8 - waiting....

[kswann]

Hello everyone,

Back from the retreat. Sorry I left some of your responses for so long. Thanks to all who sent me messages. We did our transfer today, but before I share the details, just a few responses first:

Fee - You transferred yesterday! I hope it went well. I think you said you had three blasts to transfer -- how did they thaw? They wanted to leave our thawed blasts for three hours before transfer, did they do that with yours? Please keep us posted. I really hope it was as stress free as possible for you. Our doc. said something pretty interesting today -- there is a study that was done recently where a clinic brought in clowns right before the transfer to make couples laugh. Apparently, the statistics at the clinic improved!!! in the patients who got some laughs in compared to those who got no visits from clowns. Can you believe that? That's the secret then, a little humor!

Rebecca - so sorry you have to be so far from home. (I grew up outside London incidentally -- been here 20 yrs though). I hope you don't feel too homesick and that it's not raining too much up in Portland so you get to see some cheerful sunshine. I completely understand the fear of a negative. I know this probably won't help, but it's helped me a little this cycle to open to the POSSIBILITY that I won't have children. It somehow helps to remind me that I will survive, even if the worst thing possible happens. That was unthinkable for me just a few months ago though, so I don't expect that to work for you. Anyway, please keep up posted on how you are and what's happening in your cycle. I think your retrieval is coming up, no?

Shel - Thank so much for giving me more info. on your circumstances. First, I'm so sorry about your having to go through chemo. I have compared this process a bit to what it must be like to fight cancer. All the drugs, the fears, the humiliating parts. It has got me much closer to empathy for those who have battled cancer. My heart goes out to you that you have gone through that and now this. However, if you can make it through cancer, you are clearly a survivor!! As for the donor eggs, did you get to meet the donor? I think you may have said she was anonymous. Did you get any information on her? (You don't need to tell me if you don't want to.) It helps me to think that going with a donor is a possiblity for us -- that somehow makes it less stressful when we do transfers and I worry they might fail. Then I know we have options. At 39 -- as you know -- that's a nice thing to know.
And sorry again for the difficult transfer. God, I would have wacked the guy!! not like it's not stressful enough. Boo hoo. Anyway, now onto other frontiers. Please let me know how the transfer goes-- three days from now is it??

So, in terms of our news, we did our FET at noon today. Accupuncture right before and after. I listened to my IVF guided visualizations while at the accupuncturist -- not sure that worked too well, too many things at once, but at least it was a good faith effort.

We didn't get good results yesterday from our thaw but found out today that the two front runners were doing very well this morning. Then we thawed our four blasts and two of them made it out of the thaw looking great, a third is still a good candidate. We ended up transferring a total of 8 embryos, though a number of them were 'runts' from the litter.

I know that sounds like a lot for those of you with fewer embies, but the doc thinks my eggs may tank early due to my age and because I am highly prone to miscarriage, it's a relief to have been able to transfer this many. We still only have a 50% chance, but this is the best chance we've had so far, so I'm praying, praying, praying... Just want to stay present and in contact with my embies now. I don't want to forget how hard they are working in there!

DH and I will be staying in tomorrow, but we're doing something special later in the evening. We see a very good masseuse every so often who does Thai and deep tissue massage. He's going to come over and teach each of us some of the basics of massage so DH and I can learn how to give each other massages. It's a little weird, but I'm actually looking forward to it.

My fingers are crossed for you all, not matter what stage you are at right now. So, so, so nice to have you to check in with on this big post-transfer day.

xoxo
kswan-in-waiting

[Jul1e]

Rebecca, Ouch, those progesterone needles sound awful, wonder why everything's so different. I must say I'm glad not to be getting injections any more but the lying down is a pain if you've got stuff to do or if someone comes to the door! Have you found out when your retrieval is? My 2ww is over on Friday 23rd. My boobs are getting sorer by the day, I know it's far too early for any transplanting action but I'm thinking it must be a good sign that they're developing in there as I never normally get tender boobs this early - I don't think!

Kswan, oops I meant I was sedated for the retrieval not the transfer! For the transfer I was very much awake. Robbie Williams song Angels was playing on the radio in the suite and I remember thinking "I'll always assosiate that song with this now" and then dh said (not being a big Robbie fan) "could have had a better song!" which made me burst out laughing and him too, the thing was right in there putting in my embryos and I could feel myself contracting as I laughed so I apologised to the dr and tried to stop which of course made me laugh more, the dr said laughter was a good thing so I'm hoping your clown theory will work for me!

My bro and wife had four stim cycles as they never froze any and as I said forth one was a charm. I have a friend who was badly overstimulated so had lots to freeze but had to wait a few months, anyhoo she got preggers twice and miscarried twice but got pregnant and stayed that way third time - all with frozen embryos. She now has a lovely baby boy.

Can't believe you transfered 8 you brave lady! Wow. Lots and lots of luck for you!

Kbarry, don't worry about cramps, apparently lots of people get them all through the 2ww so don't focus on it.

Better do some work!

Happy Valentines ladies (my dh is going to watch a football match tonight - romantic or what!)

love Julie

[kswann]

Hi Julie,

Thanks for your response. The valium was just a little and took the edge off a bit. The third transfer was a lot more stressful than the first, which was actually quite fun.

Glad you got some chuckling in. THat's very cute!

In terms of your boobs...are you taking progesterone shots, or suppositories? I know my boobs get sore on progesterone shots, but if you aren't taking them...hmmm, that could be good news.

I test on the 25th (I could test on the 23rd but for a nubmer of reasons because we will be on a vacation of sorts, I am waiting until the 25th). So we will be finding out around the same time...

xoxox
k