new to IVF

[hhb]

Hello everyone -

I will be having my first IVF sometime next week and I'm very glad to have found a place to chat/vent/give-get support. I just had three failed IUIs and this is the next step for us. We have a 5 year old son and have lost two babies in the past two years (M/C in June, 2004, and had to terminate at 19 weeks in May, 2005). I did not expect to be here at this stage in my life, but here I am. I'm trying to stay cautiously optimistic but am fearful of getting my hopes too high, as that monthly negative result is always devastating.

I never thought I'd have my kids 6 years apart (was hoping for three-ish), but I'm very comfortable with the idea now and just hope it happens soon before we give up entirely. I have unexplained infertility, so the not-knowing is hard to deal with. I do believe that God has a plan for all of us and apparently His plan is nothing like what I had planned! I had a dream last night that I was breastfeeding an infant. It was so real I could feel it and actually thought that I had breastfed when I woke up this morning. I'm hoping it was a sign!

Thanks to all of you for being so brave to write down your feelings and stories for others to read. Even though this situation is a miserable one and this isn't a good club to be in, it's nice to have someone to share it with!

-Heidi

[kandice]

a little encouragement about the age gap- it's not a big deal at all! from experience! I am 8 yr older than my little bro (half) and 11 years older than my little sis (half) and now dh and i are starting stims next week and (postive thinking) "our" (his from prev marriage, but we have full custody) son will be 14 next week. he was thrilled to be able to have a little bro or sis when we told him about the dr and everything. just like I was thrilled to have my brother and sister!

best of luck to you!!

[kim0907]

Hi! I know what you mean about the age difference. I was expecting three years apart. 6 (at least) seems like a lot, but my brothers and I are seven and 10 years apart. I am the youngest, so in a way I felt like an only child for part of my life. I am wondering since our kids have been "only" children for a few years that it won;t be kind of nice to have time with our new little ones once our kids go to school full day. Also, I look at it that when our son goes off to college, then we will still get to enjoy time with the younger one. I am looking at it from the most positive point of view possible!

[hhb]

I feel the same about having time with another little one, which parents whose kids are 1,2,3 years apart don't really get. My son will be in full-day kindergarten this fall, and even though it has been an additional stress I've put on myself (thinking about my children not being close in age), I am now at peace with that and am also seeing the positives of spending time with another baby. I didn't go back to work until he was 14 months old, and even then it was only 15 hours a week, and I always felt so blessed to have that time with him. So it would be great to have that time with another newborn/infant/toddler. For years everyone has been saying that it will be great having them further apart, and I blew it off because I thought they were just being nice so I wouldn't be sad about it. Whether I changed my mind because I'm not ready to give up on having another or whether I truly believe that it will be easier/nice, etc., I'm okay with it.

I hope you are feeling well this weekend, and I hope you get a positive test!

-Heidi