Happy but Gutted

[michelle_in_scotland]

Hi everyone, <br>We were back at the clinic yesterday to get the results of Michael's sample and the Dr's were very hopefull. They said that with Michael's condition (retrograde ejaculation) it's quite uncommon to find any sperm in the urine, let alone any of good enough quality to use, but Michael has enough and they said it's of good quality aswell, so we are well pleased at the result.<br>The thing that has left me gutted though is they told us we would not be able to get any treatment just now as there's no spaces until March at the earliest but we could be looking at the summertime to start. I knew we wouldn't start treatment straight away, i thought maybe in the next couple months but to have to wait til next summer has kinda put me on a bit of a downer. We were hoping to finally get married in the summer (been engaged 8 years) but i'm not sure now if we should go ahead and make plans or not, coz knowing my luck they will both happen at the same time. Don't get me wrong, i'm pleased we're finally getting somewhere, it's taken over 3 years to get this far but having to wait even longer still is starting to get to me a bit. I'm sorry to sound so down, i know you all have bigger things to think about than my silly wee thoughts but thanx for listening to me rant on, it's good to get it off my chest, i didn't really want to tell Michael how down i'm feeling as he's on a high over his results but i think he knows as he's been asking all day how i am.<br>Anyways, thanx again, take care and good luck with whatever stage you're at.<br>Lotsa love<br><br>Michelle

[phil]

hi michelle, <br><br>it's so difficult not to put your life on hold throughout this. march seems a long way off but its not really. remember i said this when it comes around... i bet it will seem like yesterday. plan your wedding day. it is a fantasic celebration and plan you cycle around it. if both dates clash then it will be easier to delay ivf for one month or hopefully bring it forward.<br><br>focus the following months on both of you being in the best possible health for ivf, and planning a fabulous day. your partners result is really positive. keep on at the clinic to see if you can make sure you're on the march list.<br>best wishes<br>phil<br>x

[Nikola]

hi Michelle<br><br>I kind of know how you are feeling. I had my first ivf in March this year and it failed and my dh and I were planning to get married next summer after giving birth and losing weight etc (this is obviously in a perfect world what would have happened!!) I was totally gutted that the tmt didn't work and didn't take it too well, especially as we were told we would have to wait another six months for another go (even though we were private!!) We went out for dinner and that night decided as we had a window of six months, that we would get married early and before our next tmt.<br><br>so we got married (like you we had been together for 7 years but kept putting it on hold and trying to work around tmts!) in July this year. The day after my wedding I had my period (great timing!) and that was day one of my next cycle. I did my next cycle of IVF and found out I was pregnant with twins.<br><br>So here I am 8 months on from a point in my life where everything was going wrong, and its all perfect. Married and pregnant!<br><br>I just wanted to reassure you that things can work out. Maybe you could bring your wedding forward and have a spring wedding before the tmt. Then you won't feel like you are waiting for ages to get going. I'm convinced I was far more relaxed and chilled out on the second go and I'm sure being happily married helped (maybe I'm just a fantasist!)<br><br>I really wish you lots of luck with your wedding and tmt. Let me know how you get on.<br><br>Lots of love<br>nikola<br><br><br><br>

[bertie]

Michelle<br><br>I have to agree with Phil and Nikola. When we first started down the long road I always planned everything as a 'what if.' When we got married I even booked our honeymoon at a child friendly hotel cos I so hoped there would be 3 of us. Everything that we have done for the past 6 and 1/2 years was done 'just in case we get pregnant. etc' We went on holiday in June and I started my 2nd IVF whilst we were away. Whilst away we decided to buy a rather expensive caravan but we had the discussion that if this course of treatment worked then we couldnt afford it. We took the who cares attitude and low and behold we are now 17 wk pg!!!!! When we go on our hols again next year there definitely will be 3 of us!! <br>IVF takes over your whole life. Get married - everything will fit in to place. As Nikola says, you become more relaxed as you're not totally focussed on it.<br>Good luck with everything.<br>luv<br>Bertie xxx

[Jo Locker]

Michelle I think you are completely reasonable in feeling happy and gutted at the same time!!. Yes, you're really glad that your husbands problem can be resolved but how disappointing to then hear that you have to wait so long, cos the patience bit is the hardest thing to bear I thought when we were waiting for another cycle to start. Never mind, it WILL come. If I was you I'd get on with things as normal, plan your wedding - if they happen at the same time so what - life's like that !!!!<br><br>It IS brilliant news for your husband - isnt technology fantastic!!<br><br>Well done - love, Jo. XXX

[michelle_in_scotland]

Hiya everyone,<br>Thanks for your replies. I'm actually feeling a bit better about the whole thing now i've had time to sit and think about it.<br>I know i want this to happen as soon as possible but at least this gives us a chance to relax and enjoy christmas and new year without the worry of the treatment. After christmas is over with i think we're just gonna sit down and make plans for our wedding. It's easier said than done but you are all right, our lives can't go on hold until after the treatment, we've still got loads of time until it begins so i think we should just make the most of it til then.<br>Nikola and Bertie, that is fantastic news about your pregnancies, it gives us so much hope hearing others getting positive results, and Jo, yes you're right, modern technology is amazing, without it we'd have no hope whatsoever in fullfilling our dreams.<br>Thanks for all your kind words and good luck everyone.<br>Take care<br><br>Michelle<br>xxx<br><br>[Edited by michelle_in_scotland on 18-Nov-03 23:07]