The Sisterhood of the Blue Stilettos

[Angie65]

hi Meggo - am totally happy with you having a ticker - in fact have been wondering where it is - I like knowing where everyone is -we are all at different stages here but still have heaps in common which is why I love this thread! Good on you.

[vicky77]

Hi girls, sorry for the MIA, but as Meggo said, I had lotsssssssssssss of work to catch up with .

Meg.... I love your ticker, don't even think of erasing it!!!!!, and yeah, after the cruise my standards changed, if you don't feed me every 4 minutes then you don't deserve my attention

Fee.....when is your test day exactly?, I know it is soon, but don't know when. It's good that you didn't gave in to the devil HPT, I think this time I won't do it either.....yeeeah righ!!!!!

Ange...I love your trip, lets all plan it together!!!, remember you have to take your stilettos with you, that is what the sisterhood is all about . So how are you in your cycle??

Sassy....I am so sorry about your niece, I hope she is doing better, is she still in NICU??....will be thinking about her, hoping she gets better....sending you ((((HUGS))))

The cruise was really fantastic, the only problem is that I think I gained back all those pounds that I tried to lose after my last cycle...ARGGHHH!!. But it was worth it!!!!, after eating 24/7 you get home, open the fridge and only see the doggie's rice....so sad!!!!. I have a nice tan, that I haven't had in a while (yeah, even though I live in Florida I had that nice greenish color for some reason, I always thought that if I lived near the beach I would go everyday, but I actually go very very seldom, I should start going more..). This month, since AF screwed my cycle, I am going to relax and try naturally one more time, one never loses the faith!!!!, and then when AF decides to apear again in a month I will finally start my next cycle.....

Well, my DH is yelling at me, I guess he wants to eat.....oh well!!!!!, see you guys later!!!!!

[wannababyIVF]

HI Ladies!!!!

Meg--I am so happy you posted a ticker. It doesn't offend me at all. I like knowing where we all are. I think it's so sweet that you would take it down if it offended any of us. That is so thoughtful. We're all going thru different stages and it's nice to know how far along everyone is. Besides, I would just keep asking you how far along you are if you didn't put up a ticker. lol Yeah, my husband is a riot. He keeps me laughing and on my toes. One time I was in a really bad mood and was yelling at him about something. He let me finish ranting, gave me a look and then started singing..."Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" I couldnt do anything but laugh. It's hard to stay mad at someone who is so silly. We balance each other out. I'm the intense one and he's the laid back carefree one that just like....whatever, life is too short to stress. I wish I had that way of thinking. But I guess if I did....we wouldnt be together. They say opposites attract.

Fi---I'm so happy you stayed away from the evil HPT. I have a lot of nerve. I will probably be eating my words in a couple of days when it's my turn. My transfer is on Wednesday. We're doing a 5 day transfer. I dont have any of the evil HPT and I pray I dont purchase one. It's really weird but I am PMSing right now. I am such a ***** today and I had slight AF cramps. I thought that was really weird. Like my body is getting all ready for AF but the eggs haven't even been put back in yet. What's up with that? Yup, hubby got to watch porn. Although he said it didn't help much. He said next time (pray to God there isn't a next time)..... he's bringing his own material. lol

We got our taxes done today. YIKES!!! Hubby and I need to have more taxes taken out of our checks. We didn't pay uncle sam enough this year. For some reason we listened to someone and claimed more so we could get our money now instead of at tax time. Which works great for us but sucks when we dont pay enough taxes. Luckly the interest in the house, property taxes and student loans saved us. But our tax preparer still wants us to change the exemptions. But I am saying this to get to a point. When when first sat down and she started looking over our paper work she says to us..."No dependants???!?!?" We said no. She then said. Ummm, yall might need some. and laughed. Then as we were talking later she said maybe we should purchase some property and rent it out or something because anything you to do a rental property is tax deductable. She was trying to give us different options. Then I said, or have a baby jokingly (in reference to what she said when we first sat down). She says to me. CHILDREN ARE OVER-RATED!! I just sat there with this strange look on my face. I was in shock. I couldnt beleive she said that. Then she said that she has a daugher who is a handful and that she knows from experience that children are over rated. DH and I just sat there in shock. What do you say after that?? Of course, she doesn't know about our struggle but I thought to myself. People are so insensitive. She doesn't know our story. For all she knows we could have just lost a child (God Forbid). Just goes to show you that some people dont have a clue. I thought it was just weird that a perfect stranger would say something like that to someone. If she only knew how much I would give to be a mother and have a daughter who I could complain about if I wanted. Some people are never satisfied or appreciate the blessings they have. There are people who have children who have issues with them and people who have been unable to have children and have issues with that. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, Life.

Hope you all have a good morning/evening where ever you are. 24 just ended so off to bed I go.

[wannababyIVF]

Vicky---Missed your post while writing mine. Glad to have you back! Your cruise sounds awesome. Glad you had a great time and got a nice tan. But sorry that beotch AF reared her ugly head. Nope, never lose faith. Doesn't hurt to try naturally.

[amy]

Oh how I have missed you girls. I am still reading all the posts, but trying to catch up is proving difficult as little J is sick and has had an ugly fever for a few days. But can I just have a quick little maniacal rant before I scream??

Let me lay it down for you ladies:
February punter - my friend who is pregnant with a third and LOVES to tell me all the details of how hard it is to be pregnant, etc - DAILY - apparently thinks she is seriously ill cause she has had this cough for her entire pregnancy and her ribs hurt, and her tummy hurts and she just can't get comfortable and she is tired. BLAH BLAH BLAH... so this continues and continues day in and day out. Well Saturday I get a voicemail from another friend who is basically wondering why I haven't done anything about a shower or "something" for her third. I just started to cry - and ladies - I DON'T CRY. EVER. But I feel this pressure to be "nice" and do it, but in my heart, I don't want too - nor do I think it is necessary when you already have a boy and a girl. I also don't do "somethings" (basically she was saying that I don't have to call it a shower, but to throw a luncheon type of deal where we all bring her diapers... TRANSLATION = SHOWER dumba$$) So I am now avoiding this woman as I am practicing the "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" So Saturday passes and I am excited because I have a girlfriend coming into town to stay with us until Monday - so I focus my energy on this. Well she arrives and seems a bit worn down and quickly falls asleep in my family room. Her husband says she is just tired from the trip. I don't think anything of it.... until we get to dinner and she doesn't order her usual alcoholic beverage. Hmmmm - NO she couldn't be, she would have told me. Well today, we are heading out and something comes up about the night before and she states that she felt bad, but that she was pregnant and blah blah blah - Ladies it is that moment that all you hear is that word and anything that comes out afterwards is like the teacher from the Peanuts - just noise. So I have the fertile Myrtle friend complaining daily to me and now I have 4 other friends who are all currently pregnant on their first tries. I just feel kicked to the curb. I just baked cupcakes and am going to try and eat all 24 tonight. Sass - have a twinkie for me.

Thanks for hearing me ladies...

A

[wannababyIVF]

OH NO!! AMY, my heart ached for you while reading your post. I'm at a lost for words....which is VERY rare. I'm so sorry you had to go thru all of that this weekend. I'm not even sure what to say right now. I am not able to process my thoughts right now. I'm just in shock. I'm sitting here in tears for you.

But first and foremost you are not obligated to give "something" for your friend who is pregnant for the third time. If this person who left you the voice mail is so concerned why doesn't she do "something". Does this person know what you are going thru? I know your complaining friend does and she better not ask you to do "something". I agree, if you can't say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all. If asked about the voicemail explain your feelings or just say, you didn't get it (one of my famous lines). Go with your gut feeling. If you don’t want to do it then don’t. You are not required!

As far as your friend that is pregnant. I applaud her for "trying" to spare your feelings. At least she waited (as long as she could) to let the cat out of the bag. Could you imagine how the weekend would have went if she came running in the house with a banner announcing her pregnancy. She tried. But I guess there is so much you can do. Just try to be happy and supportive as much as you can. But if it hurts, you might have to have "the talk" with her. I'm praying she isn't like your other friend that constantly throws her pregnancy in your face.

I definitely feel your pain. My friend who I was telling you guys about that had the 3 baby showers and had 5 strollers...had her baby this morning. I just received the message. She was suppose to have a C-section on Thursday but went in last night and had it this morning. SO that baby is here already. I just knew I would have more time. I have my transfer done tomorrow and I wanted to see her after that was done. For some reason I thought it might be easier to visit her when I have my little ones put back in me. Now I might have to stall for time but don’t want her to freak out when I don’t come see her in the hospital. But I already had plans. Going to get my hair done after work (in honor of Fi) so I can look presentable. Then tomorrow is my ET and I planned to go home and put my feet up after that. Then for good measure, I am staying home Thursday also. RE said stay in bed for 24 hours. ET is at 1:30. No point in going to work on Thursday at 2pm. lol So now the question is when do I go see my friend and her new baby??? While in the hospital or wait until she gets home? She knows what I"m going thru and that we are thinking about IVF but she doesn't know that I am going thru it as we speak. I think she would understand if I want to come see her when she gets home. Well at least I hope she does.

[sassynlv]

oh girls... here i am at work and the freakin' computer won't even let me SEE the last page... we must have been very naughty girls exceeding the "weighted phrase limit" and all . As a result, i may be missing posts... and for that i am sorry... will catch up on those tonight.

Meg: so i gather there was something about you having a ticker... i am ALL for it! Although having not seen it, cannot comment yet on your taste . This way i am not constantly trying to figure out how far along you are (now, you would think that i could just remember when it was that you got preg.... never seem to remember.. like always, i blame the hormones for my bad memory!)

Wanna: ooooo, ET tomorrow, huh? As for the prick who did your taxes. Yep, isn't it amazing that those who have what we want so badly.. complain about it all the time?? I have often wondered if i will do the same .

Vicky: trying naturally, what is that??? oh, is that when you do the whole "sex" thing??? Its been so long i don't really remember! ooooo, now get this, just tried to "preview" the post to read it through, and the computer won't let me see it... guess it doesn't like the word "sex".... sex, sex, sex. (i am such a bad, bad girl!)

Amy: was just thinking this am... i think i was going to pm you info about the book selling thing online. Did i ever do that???? Oh, if not, i am SO sorry... just been a bit distracted lately. Let me know... i will be at dh office tomorrow afternoon and can pick his secretary's brain again. Sorry to hear ds is ill. Hoping he is improving. NOW.... as for miss "aren't you going to do 'SOMETHING' for her third baby" lady... Yep, if it was me i would just say. "No" (would REALLY want to say "oh H*LL no, but thinking you should probably avoid that ). I mean, come on.... this is her third... and i second whoever said it (now that i wrote so many nasty words, i can't even go back and see )... if that person thinks miss "on my third and need a shower" lady needs one.... she should do it herself! Hpfff! I most definitely WOULD NOT throw the shower if you don't feel like doing it. IF is hard enough on us... and only worse if we don't respect where we are emotionally and act accordingly.

As for me... this is almost the same as on the dec/jan thread... but with an update!!! (ooooo, i can imagine you are trembling in your seats with excitement )

For me guys, it has been one h*ll of a 36 hrs. So i told you guys my niece was admitted to the nicu and wasn't doing well, and that dh was sick. Well, yest am... both of them had worsened. I saw niece in hospital early am as she wasn't doing well, then to work, then had most of the afternoon off ... which was a good thing as i needed to take dh to urgent care as his temp was staying above 102' (about 39.5'C) and he looked ashen. While at urgent care, got frantic call from sil that niece not oxygenating well... worried they would be intubating her. So, got dh home with medications, food, and tucked in bed, then was back over to the hospital with niece and sil. Then back home to take care of dh. We actually have a TON of family in town... but ALL OF THEM are sick with the stomach flu except dh (who appears to have pneumonia), and then sil, bil and me who are the only healthy ones trying to take care of everyone else. Luckily, both niece and dh seem to have turned a good corner overnight... so we will see. At least dh got some good sleep last night (finally... thank you codeine!!!). Niece is still VERY sick, but didn't have to be intubated.. so thank the Lord for that. I, though, am exhausted!!!! Being in the medical field (Vicky... noticed on another thread you mentioned you are a doctor..... know what i mean??)... I feel very responsible for everyone, especially for making sure everyone is getting the care they need. I couldn't get out of work today... so i am sitting here at work hoping they both improve... feeling very helpless!!! We could use all the prayers over here that you guys can send us!

So... this is the update that you have been waiting with baited breath for (oh girls, kind of sort of feel like i am getting my humor back!). Just called dh to check in on him... you know, make sure he is still breathing and all.... and he is IN THE CAR going down to the office! WTF??? See what happens if i am not there to strap him down?? Anyway, he swears that he will only be there for a few hours, then will go back home and take more codeine. Men!

[meg12]

Sassy--Welcome back. We did miss you. (BTW, been meaning to tell you that I love your new quote...every time I read it, it inspires me again!) Geez, can't believe how tense the last few days must have been for you...Glad that everyone is on the upswing, and will pray that they keep getting better. Your dh is a riot--what is it with men? My husband is the worst when he's sick--he whines constantly yet always says "he can't sleep in the daylight" so he almost always goes to work...

Amy--What a beotch (your friend, not you!)!!!!! Do not. I repeat. Do not throw a shower for that woman. No one in their right mind should expect to have a shower for their third child (especially as you said she already has one of each sex...just trying to get the sex word in their to mess up Sassy's computer!) I honestly just don't get people. And don't feel bad about feeling jealous of your pregnant friends---we have all been there. I used to get sick to my stomach whenever I even thought about anyone else I knew getting pregnant....In fact, I took to just hanging out with a good friend of mine who had her tubes tied after having her last child, because I knew she wouldn't be saying those dreaded words to me...You know, the dreaded "we weren't even trying but we're having our 800th child in June"! Hang in there and please, keep us up to date with how you're feeling!

Wanna--Your husband so reminds me of mine. My dh likes to insert his name into songs. So instead of "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me" it's "Don't ya....like Dutch?" (His nickname is Dutch...don't know why, but that's what everyone, including his parents, call him!) Another classic is "I like the way Dutch moves" and "Dutch wants to wish Dutch a Merry Christmas..." What a nut.

Vicky--I'm a big believer in the natural way, obviously! I really believe that all the drugs I had pumped into me in November jump started my engine, so to speak. Hopefully, you'll be the next miracle on this thread! And yeah, I'm a little blurry on what sex is too---have this horrible phobia about having it now...stupid thoughts like "OMG, he's crushing the baby...." keep going through my head. Okay, way too much info. Sorry about that.

Well, my DH just got back from the grocery store--I made him go by me stuff to make pancakes. Don't know why, but pancakes and eggs for dinner sounded delicious! Talk to you all later---Meg

[FionaA]

Hi Ladies

How is everyone??

I am still having weird abdominal pains from time to time that are freakin me out...Oh well only four odd days to go till I get the test...

Meggo I like your ticker as well, will save me demanding constant updates... So you're having cramps as well?? wierd I don't actually know too much about pregnancy, just trying to get into that state, will worry about the rest later. I have thought about doing an HPT so I can get a false positive just so I know what it's like to see the two lines instead of one. A tad sick of me I think.
Poor old DH is getting into a flap. Every time I go to the bathroom he runs up and asks me if everything is alright...Poor thing but it's getting a bit annoying.

Vicky I will be testing on 26th. This week is absolutely dragging by I can't believe it. Your cruise sounds fab and totally understandable that you have put on weight. I would go on a massive pig out if I went on a cruise. My favourite food is potatoes. There is so much you can do with them, mostly involving oil. Mmmmm, potatoes.

Wanna good luck with your transfer. Does this mean that you are transferring 5 day blasts and if so how many did you end up with? Good work on the new hair do. I'm sure Dr Smelly Fingers will be quite overcome with your beauty. I hope he can manage sufficiently to focus on the task at hand. And wow your tax preparer sounds like a damn fool. What is wrong with people??? And about your mate that just had the C Section. Tell her you have come down with a nasty bout of gastro. She won't want to see you until that clears up. That should buy you about a week or so I reckon.

Amy, sorry to hear that J is sick, hope he has picked up. And bloody crickey hell your mates!!! Well the first one, what kind of moron is she? And why should you be throwing showers anyway??? Damn your mate. I have a very short fuse at the moment and, if I could find my damn passport I would get on a plane and come and pound her for you. As for your second mate well sounds like she is trying to be sensitive but bloody hell it hurts when others get preg around us so easily. I hope that you went on that bender and ate every last cupcake....A massive sugar rush is necessary every now and again.

Sass, bloody hell what a couple of days you have had. We've missed you! Sounds like DH has turned the corner (but working??? why? I love any excuse for a day off) and hopefully your niece continues to improve. Your poor SIL and BIL they must be so worried. You must be damn tired, hope you get some time out soon!

Angie how are you feeling? Am looking forward to Friday's update.

Hey to Patie and Mia, hope you are both OK.

HRH

[vicky77]

Hello again!!

Meg....oooo pancakes!!!!!, can I join you guys for dinner????? , please have DH go back to the grocery store and buy some "dulce de leche", that is what I want in my pancake!!!

Sassy...yeah, I totally understand what you are saying about feeling responsible, it feels as if everyone is counting on one, that will give all the answers and solve all the problems, but it is very tough as you know to think as a doctor when it involves your loved ones. Glad your DH and niece are doing better, hope your niece can finally raise her O2 levels and be out of NICU, will be thinking about you and niece (looks like DH is doing good with his codeine ).

Amy....I agree with Meg, don't you dare through a shower to that b**ch!!!!, and that other one that left you the voicemail, they can both go and have a shower alone, since they are not worth of any friends, even less worth of you......

Wannababy....that tax lady deserves the "punter award", can't believe what she told you!!!!!!!, what was she thinking!!!!. So when is your transfer??, I heard Sassy say it is tomorrow??....in that case, good luck!!!, let us know how it goes!!!

ok, if you guys were missing some rant there goes one.....

yesterday I was on the phone with one of my best friends who just had a baby. She has nothing to do with the rant by the way, she is a very understanding "fertile". Anyway, going back to the rant. We were talking about our other friend (the three of us were very close in med school, very good friends), she was telling me that this other friend has been on vacations last month and she hasn't gone to visit her not even once, and that she was kind of angry about it. So then I tell her that I was also kind of angry at her because she hasn't called my at all or emailed me during all this IVF process (and she is an OB/Gyn!!!), and I felt like she abandoned my during all this very important moment, so she tells me "oh, I think she didn't call you because she told me that she didn't want to have to tell you her point of view"....so of course I asked her what was that point of view that she didn't want to tell me about, and she says "well, apparently she thought you went into IVF too early...."...... .....WTF!!!!!!!!, I was soooooooooooooooo angry that you couldn't imagine, what does she mean by too early!!!!, does she mean maybe that I have been ttc for almost 2 years???, or does she mean that my DH has a sperm count that our RE almost told us that our chances of getting pregnant naturally were very very low???, or does she think that we are still in our early 20's??????.......I don't really know what is her idea of early??, because it obviously has nothing to do with my idea of early!!!!. Probably because she doesn't even have a boyfriend yet, then she cannot imagine that I can be married for almost 4 years now, and ttc and going through IVF......I don't know WTF she thinks, but I don't think I want to know it for a while now, I need to calm down first, otherwise this will end up very badly......

OK, thanks girls, that's it!!!, thank you for being my therapy!!!

Hope you are all doing great!!!

[FionaA]

Oooo Vicky nice rant!!! What is it with the punters, they seem to be crawling out of the woodwork lately.

What is it with your mate and her uniformed opinions. We all get to IVF along a different road and none of us would damn well be here if we could avoid it. Man, your mate should keep her opinions to herself, at least she hasn't told you of them personally but then to avoid you because she doesn't think that you would like her point of view.

Why can't your mate keep her opinions to herself and still be a supportive friend. Sounds like she has some significant mental/social limitations and can't quite manage basic social niceties.

I'm giving her the big two finger sign from Oz.
Fee (By the way I'm feeling very snappy lately).

[Angie65]

Just checking in to say hi girls. Sorry haven't posted much lately. Busy at work (no admin help currently - Fee if you have any spare assistants send them my way - even if they deal drugs over email, that is fine!). All the students are coming back from summer break - how inconsiderate of them.

Then we are trying buy a house - will be bidding for one , maybe two on sat AND have a wedding to go to Friday.

It's kind of good being busy this time round - taking my mind off things a bit. Hope I don't get so distracted that I forgot to go and see Dr D!

So next big events are test date for Fee and transfer for Wanna. Good luck for those. Will check in again soon. Must dash and deliver some paper work to our lawyer, for the potential house purchase. It came in hard copy from the other side - haven't they HEARD of email.
A

[sassynlv]

Fee: ah yes, the long wk... you are getting there... oh wait.. in oz it is the 21st, right... cool. Btw.. found this quote from Charles Schultz that made me smile considering our little thread here... "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."

Vicky: i agree w/Fee.. the punters have really surged in the last wk. FIRST of all... WTH is your OB friend doing discussing her negative opinions with your other friend?... seems a bit "behind the back" to me. SECOND of all... she isn't your MD, i imagine she is not privy to your labs, test results, etc... nor is she a specialist. THIRD of all... she may be a good friend... but it is not her place to pass judgment on when you go for ART. There.

meg: btw.. nice job on the ticker. Like the heart! MMMMM. breakfast for dinner... my fave! btw, glad to hear you like the quote... makes me feel all warm and empowered when i read it!

Dh STILL not back from work . I suppose that means he is feeling better... Just got back from hospital... and niece is looking better!!! Finally!!! She has "color" for the first time today, and her O2 levels have stabilized... looks like the worst is over. Thanks for the well-wishes.

In honor of Wanna and her prepping for ET tomorrow... i found this on another ivf forum and it reminded me of us... our "hygiene preparations" and "sparkly" discussions... you will understand what i mean after you read this....
***************
There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this!

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early
one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I
had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.

The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to
spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the
full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked
over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or
some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra
effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn't respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking.

After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out From
the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"
I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had
all My glitter and sparkles saved inside it."

I AM NEVER going back to that doctor ever! Not ever ! !

************************

GOOD LUCK TOMORROW WANNA!!!!

[wannababyIVF]

Good Morning Ladies,
I just wanted to pop in this morning to say hello and get some support from my fellow sisters.

I think I’m having an anxiety attack and not sure why. I’m on the verge of tears right now. Only 4 hours to go until my ET and I am a wreck. Tummy is in knots. I feel nauseous and about to break out in a cold sweat. I have no idea why I am feeling this way. It’s not like I haven’t had an ET before. I think it’s the what if’s come after this that is freaking me out. What if it doesn’t work? What if I get another BFN? Does this mean I will never have children? I was holding it together up until this point. I need someone to slap me like they did with those panicking passengers in the old Airplane movie. LOL
I think I might be feeling this way because DH won’t be there this time. I am going all alone. I want to be able to get thru this without him. He can’t make it today and I don’t want him to screw up at work (because he’s worried about me) or feel guilty because he can’t be there.

On another note, why do I feel like I have cramps?? Is that normal?

Okay, going to get a cup of tea to calm me down. Maybe I’ll pour in some brandy for extra measure….just kidding.

Have a wonderful day ladies. I will be in later to read all the posts I missed and do some personals.

Love and baby dust to you all!

[sassynlv]

Wanna:
Oh girl. good luck on your ET! Try not to stress about what comes next (i know, i know, easier said...). Concentrate on the great thing happening today!!! Which is that you get your embryos back... and then you get to lay on the couch watching sappy daytime. Fab! Tomorrow will take care of itself, and we will be here to get you through that. For now, deep breaths. In... out.... in... out. Nope... still too fast . Slower now, in.... out.... in ... out. You will be just fine today. Sucks dh won't be there... but you can do this!!! Check in when you get back! I will be looking!