The Sisterhood of the Blue Stilettos

[Angie65]

hellooo! hellooo! - the students come back and there goes my posting opportunities - I am going to have to start posting in the evening like most conscientious people.

Good rant Aunty - come and rant all you like here.
Vicky - you and DH sure are a handsome couple and as for Samson - I am coming to Florida to dognap him - he is so cute!
Wanna - when is test date again? You are nearly there

Still stimming away - acu lady nearly fell off her chair last night when I said I reckon I might get to 20 days . Actually I am feeling a bit sore and tired and over it.

Better go and do some work so I can leave on time. Will write more soon.
Hi to all. A

[patie]

Gooood Mooorning lovely ladies.... how are you all doing???

Wanna...to be honest it was pretty deep what you wrote and I was reading it at 8:30 am.... so i wasnt fully awake... but I totally agree with the concept of always being positive (i have a ring that reminds me to always think posi) but its sometimes hard... I am thankfull for all the blessings through out the day... who's the author of The Secrets I'll get it via amazon.
But speaking of the deep thinking ... and the concept of everythink happens fpr a reason... Did anyone read "Many Lives, Many Masters" or "Same Soul Many Bodies" for Dr. Brian Weiss... He's a psychiatrist and talks about his findings of patients' previous lives experiences... and how he was able to reach these past lives via "regression" which is not hypnosis...

Its a very intresting book if you like to go into these type of readings.... much recommended but at some point freeky. In fact my sister tried regression and she told me its such a good healing and gives u a whole new perspective for things and put you at piece with others....

I am thinking of doing it, but i am not sure i am ready yet... b/c as per the healer not everyone is ready for it as you into stages in life...

anyway... enough spiritualities for me... its too early and i didnt have my coffee.... btw i sort of Understand your DH cos mine does the same when he lacks attention... btw what's his astro sign?? mine is aries...
Well let's go to these rants... speaking of which....

Aunty pebbles...welcome welcome... i loved your rant and you go girl.... we are here to hear and support w/o those "oh" .... fertiles...

Amy, Good luck with those students! they sound like a handfull. Well DH works for an irrigation company they manufacture and supply irrigation equipments, as the regional manager he oversees the operation of different branches and they also outsource new clients and suppliers...but unfortunetly i don't join him... because of my work ...which sucks... only in april hopefully i will go w him to the states....

Sass...how r u feeling now?? hope ur getting better....btw i tried the link for u photo but the site is blocked...can u pm it to me if its ok???
... Well for me i am waiting for many things in fact, but mainly the karyo test. once this is clear i will schedule the next cycle since as of april i will be working part time for 2 reasons... one is i need to concentrate on the IVF (DH thinks i should quit work) and the second think is DH and I r launching a new business... its a magazine from his feild and i have the publication exp so i will be assisting him...so there are many uncertainties and i cant really tell when and where!!! i hate it
btw your choice of lime green is very nice and refreshing... i like! and big Happy Birthday for DH... as a gift... although i think u r too sick for it.. but why not wrap urself in a ribbon... what better gift could he possibly get!!!

Meg, i hope u feel better... i guess its normal what ur going through! are u taking vitamins btw? take perrier...it soothes!

Hello Vicky how are you??? and how's sanson....shouldn't we make him a tshirt to match ours?

Melissa... happy anniversary!!! since when have u been married?? any special celebrations??

well that's about it for now... will be back... hugs to all!!! getting my coffee to start my work day....

[patie]

Angie...how r you with that stimming... 'btw is it in the bootie???? hugs !!

[Angie65]

Morning Patie - you just started work - I just finished - lucky me! jabs are in the stomach - luckily plenty of flesh there to take the needle. What a great idea to dress Sanson in one the T-shirts! Good lcuk with your new business venture sounds exciting.

Bye for now - off to enjoy the sunshine although too tired to do much in the evenings at the moment. Have a nice day.

[wannababyIVF]

Good Morning Ladies!

Aunty—Great rant! Short, sweet and sooooooooo true! You're welcome any time!

meg—Sorry your little girl has invaded your body and taken over. Hope you are feeling better soon! It’s amazing how we worry and stress out during the 2ww. Then once there is a BFP, we still worry and stress because we don’t want anything to go wrong with the baby. Does it ever end?

Melissa—I’m pm you some info on it. I think we’ve discussed it to death in here. lol

Amy—I was just thinking that about the..”join us on the other side” posts. WTF? Kind of insensitive if you ask me. I like your response to the “if it’s meant to be”…can I borrow it?

Sassy—Thanks for the quote tips. I agree. I think that people don’t know what to say to us. But they feel they have to say something but they don’t think about how what they’re saying can affect us. They are not in our shoes so they can not even feel an ounce of what we are going thru. I’d rather they just not responded at all. BTW..I’m cool with the pink shirt. I have some accessories that will go perfect with it. Cherry Blossom season is awesome. I use to go downtown DC every year during Cherry Blossom season. It’s so beautiful. I think this year DH and I will go down on the mall and have a picnic.

Fi—Thanks for the info. DH and I decided last night that we are not going to do a HPT. I have one more day. I hope that I can hold out. He has to work really late tonight. I’ll be home all by myself until about midnight. I hope I don’t go stir crazy. I think I might just watch some old movies to past the time. Maybe go to bed early so tomorrow will get here quick. lol I will definitely be in here (provided the internet cooperates) to keep myself busy. Heck, the entire house might get cleaned tonight. lol I’m glad you and your mate and speaking again. I had to giggle about forgiving anyone that gives you food. I agree. I’m a sucker for free food.

Angie—I test tomorrow around noon. Probably won’t get results back until early afternoon. I’m hoping you don’t have too much longer on the stims. When do you have your next follie count and blood work?

Patie—Whew, you took the words right out of my mouth. I’ve been thinking negatively all my life. That’s how I deal with things. So that I won’t be too disappointed when things don’t go my way. So now I’m trying to change the way I think. But it’s so hard. I still feel myself thinking or speaking negativiely. I guess I can’t change over night. But it is so hard. How do you NOT think negative? It’s like as soon as I think positive…here comes that little…”what if?” Here is the website for the secret. www.thesecret.tv The author is Rhonda Byrne. You can watch it online or purchase the DVD. I purchased the DVD. I think Sassy said the DVD might be longer. This regression sounds interesting. I might have to take a look at the books first.

Well tomorrow is the day. To say that I am nervous is an understatement. I am a complete basket case right now. But I’m going to try to not stress or worry about it. We’ll just wait and see what happens. DH and I have already made plans to do dinner and a movie tomorrow regardless of the outcome. So I am looking forward to that. I have a lot of work to do today so I’m going to focus on that. Staying busy is the key.

Also, will continue to sing my song….grow embryos grow! Stick to the wall and grow! Ok, I have officially lost it.

[wannababyIVF]

patie--DH is a very spoiled virgo. He's the baby of the family and he needs lots of attention. Especially from me. lol I kind of like it though.

Ok, I'm really going to do work now.

[meg12]

Hi guys! I'm feeling a little more like myself today...just a little. I hope I don't come across as whiney. If so, please give me a big computer slap!

Wanna--I'm getting so nervous for you. I'm working on trying to be a more positive person after reading all of your posts, so I'm sure you're going to be our next BFP. How cool would that be--you and Fee would have really close due dates. BTW, love Sanson. I have a chocolate cocker spaniel. He gets mistaken for a chocolate lab puppy a lot (because he's about the size of a lab puppy, even though he's a 7-year old cocker!) I don't know what I'd do without my baby!

Patie--Thanks for all the tips on the naseau. It's hanging in there, but doesn't seem quite as bad (so far today, at least!) I know I complain about it, but I'm actually kind of scared that it will go away because then I'll worry something is wrong. Always something to worry about. NO, wait, I'm new positive Meg--I will not worry about things I can't control (think I'm going to need some help with this one!)

Amy--I totally agree that you should start selling things like interior doors. I'm planning on having a garage sale in a couple of months (have a ton of junk I need to ditch!) and will gladly donate the profits to the "I hate insurance and want Amy to get pregnant" fund!

Everyone else: Hey! Am imagining everyone typing while wearing our matching sisterhood shirts. How fun will that be?

My appointment this morning went fine. I actually measured a little bigger--it should have been 10w1d, but measured at 10w5days. So, that's good. I actually called and made an appointment with a regular OBGYN for my next appointment--am getting ditched by my current doc as she only sticks with you for the first 3 months...I have mixed feelings about that.

Anyway, the whole point of this post was to tell you all that I won't be around for the rest of the week--probably until Sunday night. I have a wedding to go to in middle of nowhere Nebraska. Only thing out there are cows and snow! So, no Internet (everyone gasps!) So, Wannababy--I'm going to have to wait a few days to shower you with hoorays after your bfp---Don't think it's because I don't care! It's just because I'm stuck out in the cold, surrounded by cows!

Hope everyone has a great week and weekend!

[sassynlv]

Meg: so you have a little overachiever in there, huh? ooooo, maybe we should get a baby shirt for her!!! Whining is allowed here (isn't it? if not, i am TOTALLY screwed ).Congrats on the good us results, and we will miss you 'til sunday. p.s., will you be going cow-tipping????

Wanna: WOW. I am so impressed! You are actually waiting 'til beta (a rare animal in these parts ). I think the plans you have for tomorrow night are perfect. I know how nerve wracking especially the last day or two are. So, hang in there.... anxious to hear your news. Grow embryos grow!!!! (will refrain from singing as i am so tone deaf, will probably dissuade them growing )

Amy: was thinking again last night about the whole "join us on the other side thing" (and to be honest was getting a bit miffed about it.... CLEARLY threw the whole... control your thinking thing out the window ). Can't say i have seen this before, but.... as for joining them on the other side... Ummmmm... WOULD LOVE TO!!!!

Patie: i pm'd you the link. Not sure why it didn't work... although my work computer has blocked flickr (surprise, surprise ), so could that be the problem with your computer, too? ooopss.... just reread what you said... the site is blocked for you.. ok, never mind and disregard my pm . I will try to PM you the picture

Angie: Ha! on the acu lady nearly falling off her chair. You most definitely get the Perserverance award! This is amazing. I can only imagine how sick of the injections you are getting. As long as you get some good eggs out of it, though....

Fee: glad to hear things were cleared with your mate... hate that when unresolved/untalked-about things are hanging over heads. I'm with you... anyone who gives me food can't be all bad, now can they? heeheehee. btw.. when is your first us?

As for me... still sick but not as sick as yest (yipee!! it is the little things in life!). Have to work all day today.. but will be back on the codeine tonight

[AuntyPebbles]

Hey lady's....
aww sassy hun didnt know youd been sick big hug feel better soon...(((HUG)))

ooo Amy loved it i will try that response it's so much better than smacking people in the mouth....

i have been told today i have to go over to my inlaws..LOL hubby said i cant hide forever so gonna suck it up put my best im listening to you face on (with closed ears) and see how it goes....

love to all Aunty...ooo whats this about t-shirts?????

[Coco]

Hello, from up N’oth, Sisters.

I respectfully request permission to join your rip-roaring, rant-rattlin’ riotous, righteous group. I’ve been lurking and learning and lovin’ for a couple of weeks. I submitted a rant or two to another folder and, uhm, let’s just say, crickets.

“cheep, cheep….cheep, cheep…..cheeeeep…”

And then.

I stumbled into your folder and found your thoughts, musings, rants, and general condemnations to be simpatico and extremely in line with mine. Hooray! Soul sisters of sorts. But then, you don’t know me like I know you. And I would understand if your group was full. But I promise to rant it up to a level worthy of your readership if you grant me the right.

I am a junior at this (5 failed IUI’s (2 w/clomid) 1st IVF scheduled for April.) I start Lupron on Sunday; cautiously optimistic that this will work. (I also have a “feeling” however, that I will win the HGTV Dream Home Giveaway drawing on March 18th, so, clearly, an understanding of the rule of odds has never governed my thinking.) Seeing HRH Fee succeed brought me much happiness and hope. (Another reason for my wanting to join your “Fiefdom” as it were, just to be in the vicinity of greatness and success.)

To that end, I am exploring different ways of promoting wellness and the cultivation of my own Private PMA. (Worth noting: I am trying not to focus on the fact that I put $3,000 on my gold amex today for IVF drugs.) That’s a lot of f*cking time at Canyon Ranch. And that’s just for the drugs. Oh, yes, you know this all too well.

Just imagine, (well, I don’t need to tell you this,) what I could have purchased with that money. Hahahahah! The sweet and sour irony of it all. Hmm. I don’t really like the Kate Spade spring line anyway.

Nobody in my world knows of our IVF journey. Just you guys and DH. (Although DH is involved in, shall we say “intelligence” and he says that, statistically, for every one person who “knows” something, in reality, seven people know it from second hand or other sources. So, if one person in my town knows about my IVF efforts, seven do. I live in a small town, and scarily, I cannot think of seven people who I would want knowing about the private business of my privates. (Yes, as you can tell, I am freakishly guarded about this process.) This springs in part, I think, from the fact my dear friend went through this, made the choice to tell people, or perhaps just told the wrong people (the evil and officious fertile myrtle people) who never failed to bring it up when they saw her by asking concernedly, condescendingly “Hello, how aaaaarrrreeee you. . .. ?) With pity and righteousness oozing from their voices.

SO, being a smart girl and taking this all under advisement, here I am in my own little IVF journey and living underground like a wild potato.

Amy, this song is for you because I know you know your music. Wanna, good luck tomorrow Meg, I hope you feel better. Fee, permission to join?

Coco

******************
Private Idaho
by B-52's
album: Wild Planet (1980)

Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo
You're living in your own Private Idaho
Living in your own Private Idaho
Underground like a wild potato.
Don't go on the patio.
Beware of the pool,
blue bottomless pool.
It leads you straight
right throught the gate
that opens on the pool.
You're living in your own Private Idaho.
You're living in your own Private Idaho.

Keep off the path, beware the gate,
watch out for signs that say "hidden driveways".
Don't let the chlorine in your eyes
blind you to the awful surprise
that's waitin' for you at
the bottom of the bottomless blue blue blue pool.

You're livin in your own Private Idaho. Idaho.
You're out of control, the rivers that roll,
you fell into the water and down to Idaho.
Get out of that state,
get out of that state you're in.
You better beware.

You're living in your own Private Idaho.
You're living in your own Private Idaho.

Keep off the patio,
keep off the path.
The lawn may be green
but you better not be seen
walkin' through the gate that leads you down,
down to a pool fraught with danger
is a pool full of strangers.

You're living in your own Private Idaho,
where do I go from here to a better state than this.
Well, don't be blind to the big surprise
swimming round and round like the deadly hand
of a radium clock, at the bottom, of the pool.

I-I-I-daho
I-I-I-daho
Woah oh oh woah oh oh woah oh oh
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Get out of that state
Get out of that state
You're living in your own Private Idaho,
livin in your own Private.... Idaho

[sassynlv]

Aunty: Good luck with inlaws... sounds like it has the potential to be very painful. You can try my "smile and nod" technique.... no matter what happens, just smile and nod. Then go home and vomit it all out . Oh, yes, aunty... have been sick as a dog... living off of codeine cough syrup with temps of 102' for a few days now. Total bummer as i haven't been able to get out of work. but getting better now... only problem left is bad sore throat... ooo, maybe i will actually lose weight oh, btw... congrats on the >2,000 posts! we are very superficial here and find such things VERY important .

Now... as for the t-shirts... you have joined the conversation at a critical juncture. I decided a wk or so ago that i desperately needed a "Sisterhood of the Blue Stilettos" t-shirt... i see it kind of as my lucky-confidence-shirt. Luckily, the sistas here also agreed. I came up with a design, and we are just in the final stages of deciding what shirt color, and if they all need to be the same. To see the shirt.... go to www.uberprints.com. Go to "view my design" on the left hand side. The email address is "auschatzi@yahoo.com" and the password is "sisterhood". Everyone in the continental us can just order their own. Anyway... something a little silly, but just a way to memorialize our struggle with style!


i am on the verge of a rant... actually i wrote it all out but not feeling ready to let it fly. Just hard trying to find the balance between honoring my emotions (knowing that in the past stuffing anger and sadness just screwed me up), and keeping a positive perspective in my life (especially since doing so has made my life so much happier). Sick of being told by people that i am doing this "wrong" if i am not upbeat all the time. At the same time, i don't want to LIVE in anger and sadness. Grrrr. this is so hard!

[meg12]

Coco--Welcome. Great first post. I know I'm not Fee, but as a junior member, I say you're in! I am sorry to say, however, that I am winning that house in Colorado. You're more than welcome to come visit me there, though! Anyway, hope your stimming starts well. Did you do shots before, or is this the first time? And yes, totally know about the money thing. Try not to think about it and welcome to debt like the rest of us! (I'll try to have another garage sale for your attempt, but I'm running out of junk!)

I know, I really am leaving soon. Promise. No more posts from me (I'm never going to catch up with Her Royal Whoreness Sassy at this pace!)

[sassynlv]

WAAAAHHHH Coco... missed your post while chatting on the phone w/bf.... i mean... while working like a banshee earning money for more ivf . Now, of course HRH will have to give her final approval (actually, as she uses a dildocam for a scepter... do believe you will need to be "knighted" ), but believe i can speak for everyone by saying "Welcome", indeed! I don't need to tell you how odd we are (actually, i do believe you described us very well!), or how un pc we are... you seem to have us pegged! If you have read recently, i trust you are aware of the t-shirt?

Yep, you too noticed rants don't go over well other places???? Yeah. Here is the place! We love rants... in fact, we find some sort of sick pleasure in them at times!

So first IVF, huh? Ahhh, those were the days (that is, before the lumps on my hips from the PIOs!). Here's hoping you won't be doing a second!

viva la sisterhood!

[meg12]

Oops, posted at the same time as you Sassy! Please, never feel like you are being too negative. This is your "safety" zone. We will never judge you--in fact, you know we want to know exactly how you're feeling! We are the Sisterhood (kinda made me tear up a little, but then again what doesn't anymore?)

[sassynlv]

Thanks, Megs: No, you are right, i don't want to be a downer (especially as we are all working so freaking hard to make changes in our lives), but i also know that this is the ONLY place to do it. The long rant was just too much and i knew i would regret it if i threw it all out there. So, have looked over it , and here is the shortened version. Now, listen up, coco... this is where you should be VERY happy about your policy re: secrecy!!!! Had run-in with a fellow "infertile" (irl) this am and got scolded as i didn't share her fluffy optimism that this cycle WILL work for me (now.... part of my problem is that as i won't be transferring THIS cycle, not really bound to get me preg this month, is it????heeheehee ). But as someone who has worked very hard to choose a better perspective on my life... it makes me wonder really where to draw the line. After multiple failed IVFs, my way of coping with the IF is to be "realistic"... meaning that i don't EXPECT it will work, but i sure as h*ll hope it does at some point. I am just not totally optimistic sometimes, and should be ok (NO, that IS ok). I am sometimes angry that i don't have a child, and that is also ok. AND the fact that i am not "fluffy optimistic" all the time DOES NOT mean that i have doomed my cycle (yep, been told that by an "infertile" before, too ). I don't want to LIVE in a place of anger, sadness, or self-pity... but aren't we doing ourselves a disservice if we deny these very human emotions, or try to get others to do so? i have no interest in returning to the dark places which denial of these emotions has led me to in the past. So, i am left with the difficulty... where do i draw the line? I think part of the difficulty is that i think the line changes position (based on hormones, where i am in a cycle, other things happening in my life). I strongly believe in the power of my thoughts and how that determines how i experience my life. I do not want to lose any of that.... my problem i think is trying to find the balance between that and honoring my very human emotions. Anyone with input?