I just got a BFP today and am under the impression from my RE and my bloodwork that I may be carrying twins. Of course, I won't know until my first U/S. I hyper-stimulated and had to see my RE yesterday, and after checking my abdomen he kind of winked at me and said he thought I was going to get a nice a high number (he actually told me I was pregnant upon entering the room, based solely on the fact that I hyper-stimmed at this timeframe). I asked him if twins was what he was implying and he said there was a very good possibility (we only transferred 2). My "number" came in over 500 today - I can't recally exactly what the nurse said.
I used to be terrified of the idea but over the last 18 months have come to accept it. My DH is absolutely terrified and I don't think he'll get color back in his face until the U/S, although if we see two heartbeats he might not have color for the next eight months!
My biggest concern, quite honestly, is nursing twins. I nursed my son until he was 21 months old and never gave him a bottle of anything but breastmilk. What anyone else does is fine, but my heart and head are so into breastfeeding that I would just have to figure out a way to make it work.
Good luck to you all. I do believe that God only gives us what we can handle, even if at the time we don't think we can handle it.
-Heidi
Twins????
rebeccaj,
yes i have been trying for a long time too. 4 years.
and i'm no less exhausted than anyone else on this board.
i was under the impression that this board was meant to discuss ALL of the emotionally difficult aspects of infertility and ivf. having to make the choice to reduce would be a devastating one. but as a responsible adult who knows my limitations, and who would prefer to be a good mother to one child than a poor one to twins, it would be something i would have to at least consider.
infertility is no less painful for the people who don't want multiples.
hope you get what you want too.
good luck.
yes i have been trying for a long time too. 4 years.
and i'm no less exhausted than anyone else on this board.
i was under the impression that this board was meant to discuss ALL of the emotionally difficult aspects of infertility and ivf. having to make the choice to reduce would be a devastating one. but as a responsible adult who knows my limitations, and who would prefer to be a good mother to one child than a poor one to twins, it would be something i would have to at least consider.
infertility is no less painful for the people who don't want multiples.
hope you get what you want too.
good luck.
Well, I obviously touched someone nerves with my post!
Regardless, IVF is not as precise a science as everyone would assume it to be. You might 'want' one, but get two or even more. If this is the case, then I think it is a shame to 'reduce' them down to one for some arbitrary ideal of what your lifestyle should be.
Now, if you CHOOSE implanting just one, that is your choice. But to abort one, practically betrays the ideals of what IVF is about for many women here.
BNB, I don't presume to tell you what to do - I just disagree with your post. If you have a problem with people disagreeing with you, you shouldn't post such thoughts on a website where many people would dream to have twins.
Regardless, IVF is not as precise a science as everyone would assume it to be. You might 'want' one, but get two or even more. If this is the case, then I think it is a shame to 'reduce' them down to one for some arbitrary ideal of what your lifestyle should be.
Now, if you CHOOSE implanting just one, that is your choice. But to abort one, practically betrays the ideals of what IVF is about for many women here.
BNB, I don't presume to tell you what to do - I just disagree with your post. If you have a problem with people disagreeing with you, you shouldn't post such thoughts on a website where many people would dream to have twins.
1st IVF July 2006 BFP!!!!
Twin Boys : )
Check out my cuties! www.gaudtwins.com
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;51;34/st/20070203/n/Roman+and+Xavier/k/beda/age.png[/img]
Twin Boys : )
Check out my cuties! www.gaudtwins.com
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;51;34/st/20070203/n/Roman+and+Xavier/k/beda/age.png[/img]
bnb~
I think this all comes down to the 'ol saying "be careful what you wish for"!
Are you planning to just transfer one embie? I think if you plan on transferring more you should consider the definite possibility of more than one implanting.
I know when we first started ttc (6 years ago) the thought of twins absolutely terrified me. I think partly because I am a twin myself and had to watch my poor mother go through it! But now, after so long I would absolutely love to have twins. Just like most people on here have said, after you long for a baby (or two) for so much time, 99.999% of people on here will take what they get. I think it's just pretty confusing to hear someone say that.
I think this all comes down to the 'ol saying "be careful what you wish for"!
Are you planning to just transfer one embie? I think if you plan on transferring more you should consider the definite possibility of more than one implanting.
I know when we first started ttc (6 years ago) the thought of twins absolutely terrified me. I think partly because I am a twin myself and had to watch my poor mother go through it! But now, after so long I would absolutely love to have twins. Just like most people on here have said, after you long for a baby (or two) for so much time, 99.999% of people on here will take what they get. I think it's just pretty confusing to hear someone say that.
perhaps it is confusing but i'm a big believer in diversity.
it takes an open mind to realize that there are other valid choices other than the ones you have made for yourself.
at our dr.'s urging and bc of my history we transferred 2 embryos. 1 of a much higher grade than the other. or RE felt strongly that in our case our chances of a bfp were very poor if we transfered a single embryo. i am a very poor responder to stims and repeated cycling will not be an option for us. so yes, i am rolling the dice but it is a calculated gamble. i am not even saying i would definitely reduce if i were to have twins. but i'm not ashamed to say i would consider it.
and if anyone has a problem with that--well, too damn bad.
it takes an open mind to realize that there are other valid choices other than the ones you have made for yourself.
at our dr.'s urging and bc of my history we transferred 2 embryos. 1 of a much higher grade than the other. or RE felt strongly that in our case our chances of a bfp were very poor if we transfered a single embryo. i am a very poor responder to stims and repeated cycling will not be an option for us. so yes, i am rolling the dice but it is a calculated gamble. i am not even saying i would definitely reduce if i were to have twins. but i'm not ashamed to say i would consider it.
and if anyone has a problem with that--well, too damn bad.
heidi - that is great news, congratulations on your BFP!!! I'm really happy for you. ...
Bnb, i didn't mean to offend you with my comments and yes this forum should be open to discuss everything. Selfishly though it can be very painful to read that someone may consider reducing twins to a single child, that's all....I would give anything at this stage for just one baby, two would be amazing and would mean that i could get off this emotional roller coaster for good! as I said before, i hope you get your wish, good luck with the 2ww.
To all the other ladies, have a good saturday night - it's one day closer to the next step! fingers crossed for everyone.
Bnb, i didn't mean to offend you with my comments and yes this forum should be open to discuss everything. Selfishly though it can be very painful to read that someone may consider reducing twins to a single child, that's all....I would give anything at this stage for just one baby, two would be amazing and would mean that i could get off this emotional roller coaster for good! as I said before, i hope you get your wish, good luck with the 2ww.
To all the other ladies, have a good saturday night - it's one day closer to the next step! fingers crossed for everyone.
14th april 2008 - beautiful twin girls!!
BNB - you know NOTHING about me - so stop insinuating that I am intolerant or sanctimonious. Defend your statement or don't, but going after me personally is only avoiding the issue.
I am not trying to get you do to anything - I don't know who you are. I am expressing my opinion to your comments you posted on a PUBLIC message board. I do not march in either right to choose nor right to life rallies.
If you feel overly defensive about what I said, maybe I struck a nerve. It is extremely difficult for me to understand how - after having difficulties conceiving - someone would willingly terminate an embryo if more than one implanted.
The thought of destroying a life I DELIBERATELY CHOSE TO CREATE because it may be inconvenient to me is utterly selfish - I don't care what anyone says.
I just had twins 5 weeks ago and they certainly didn't ruin my life, my sanity, my body, or anything else for that matter. I wasn't looking for twins, but I am glad that I was privileged with two healthy sons.
I am not trying to get you do to anything - I don't know who you are. I am expressing my opinion to your comments you posted on a PUBLIC message board. I do not march in either right to choose nor right to life rallies.
If you feel overly defensive about what I said, maybe I struck a nerve. It is extremely difficult for me to understand how - after having difficulties conceiving - someone would willingly terminate an embryo if more than one implanted.
The thought of destroying a life I DELIBERATELY CHOSE TO CREATE because it may be inconvenient to me is utterly selfish - I don't care what anyone says.
I just had twins 5 weeks ago and they certainly didn't ruin my life, my sanity, my body, or anything else for that matter. I wasn't looking for twins, but I am glad that I was privileged with two healthy sons.
1st IVF July 2006 BFP!!!!
Twin Boys : )
Check out my cuties! www.gaudtwins.com
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;51;34/st/20070203/n/Roman+and+Xavier/k/beda/age.png[/img]
Twin Boys : )
Check out my cuties! www.gaudtwins.com
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;51;34/st/20070203/n/Roman+and+Xavier/k/beda/age.png[/img]
kabillion,
i'm not insinuating anything.
i'm saying it flat out.
you want to instigate by calling me ridiculous? well then i feel have no qualms about identifying you as sanctimonious. that's not a personal attack. it's a response to your presumptuous tone. but you're right--i know nothing about you--other than that you have portrayed yourself in a uber-judgemental way. perhas in real life you ARE less narrow-minded than this. i certainly hope that's true.
you say it clearly in the post in which you accuse me of being selfish--you don't care what anyone has to say. that sounds like the textbook definition of narrow minded to me.
and by the way, i don't feel overly defensive bc i don't think i have anything to defend. i just don't feel the need to suffer smug piety quietly.
i'm not insinuating anything.
i'm saying it flat out.
you want to instigate by calling me ridiculous? well then i feel have no qualms about identifying you as sanctimonious. that's not a personal attack. it's a response to your presumptuous tone. but you're right--i know nothing about you--other than that you have portrayed yourself in a uber-judgemental way. perhas in real life you ARE less narrow-minded than this. i certainly hope that's true.
you say it clearly in the post in which you accuse me of being selfish--you don't care what anyone has to say. that sounds like the textbook definition of narrow minded to me.
and by the way, i don't feel overly defensive bc i don't think i have anything to defend. i just don't feel the need to suffer smug piety quietly.
When we did our ET, our Dr. told us that if our 3% chance of triplets happened, we may want to reduce because of my size. However, selective reduction puts them ALL in jepardy. There was no way we would have ever done it and yes, we would have been frightened as all get out but if you believe that God will never give you more than you can handle than it's a ride of faith.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but to chance both babies to get rid of one seems so crazy here on a web page where woman get BFN's every day and we all just want the BFP at least once in our life. Of course it is going to anger women and touch a nerve in women here.
Im sure you are a very sweet and loving woman who will make a great mother one day. Please understand, coming from a woman expecting twins, that the notion of reducing from twins seems very cruel here. If we thought twins would have been too much to handle then one embryo is all the more we would have had the right to implant.
IVF is not a careless night out on the town ending in pregnancy. We know what we are doing and when we fertilize those eggs and they implant and start to grow we are well aware of our odds on mulitples. In my opinion it is reckless to begin a life we know we would abort.
I also believe that being the very passionate woman you are, that you would do whatever it took to be a good mother to twins if that was what you got. Maybe we'll be seeing you on the Double Trouble thread.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but to chance both babies to get rid of one seems so crazy here on a web page where woman get BFN's every day and we all just want the BFP at least once in our life. Of course it is going to anger women and touch a nerve in women here.
Im sure you are a very sweet and loving woman who will make a great mother one day. Please understand, coming from a woman expecting twins, that the notion of reducing from twins seems very cruel here. If we thought twins would have been too much to handle then one embryo is all the more we would have had the right to implant.
IVF is not a careless night out on the town ending in pregnancy. We know what we are doing and when we fertilize those eggs and they implant and start to grow we are well aware of our odds on mulitples. In my opinion it is reckless to begin a life we know we would abort.
I also believe that being the very passionate woman you are, that you would do whatever it took to be a good mother to twins if that was what you got. Maybe we'll be seeing you on the Double Trouble thread.
Me 35, DH 35
Ectopic Oct. 2005
IVF transfer 1-21-07. . .TWINS!!!!
ww.batesbabies.blogspot.com
http://lilypie.com][img]http://b2.lilypie.com/2XRom7/.png[/img]
http://lilypie.com][img]http://bd.lilypie.com/hWoJm7/.png[/img]
Ectopic Oct. 2005
IVF transfer 1-21-07. . .TWINS!!!!
ww.batesbabies.blogspot.com
http://lilypie.com][img]http://b2.lilypie.com/2XRom7/.png[/img]
http://lilypie.com][img]http://bd.lilypie.com/hWoJm7/.png[/img]
kholtan,
um, yeah.
you do know that carrying triplets puts babies and mother at risk, right?
personally, i think that's a more reckless decision than reducing.
if you don't mind me borrowing your phrase.
and carrying twins has its own set of risks.
as for the whole "god's ride of faith" thing?
i'll say this as nicely as i can--i think that's just a way people try to find meaning in difficulty. good for you if it helps you. but god's amusement park is not a premise i'm going to be basing any decisions upon.
i reserve the right to take the measures that seem appropriate tp ME whether you concede them or not. whether you like them or not is not a factor.
nobody is suggesting to you that you reduce one of your twins. but if you really can't stand the cruelty of the slight possibility that i would reduce? well, i guess you'll just have to pray for me. who knows? maybe i really will see the light and come to see it your way. hold your breath why don't you?
um, yeah.
you do know that carrying triplets puts babies and mother at risk, right?
personally, i think that's a more reckless decision than reducing.
if you don't mind me borrowing your phrase.
and carrying twins has its own set of risks.
as for the whole "god's ride of faith" thing?
i'll say this as nicely as i can--i think that's just a way people try to find meaning in difficulty. good for you if it helps you. but god's amusement park is not a premise i'm going to be basing any decisions upon.
i reserve the right to take the measures that seem appropriate tp ME whether you concede them or not. whether you like them or not is not a factor.
nobody is suggesting to you that you reduce one of your twins. but if you really can't stand the cruelty of the slight possibility that i would reduce? well, i guess you'll just have to pray for me. who knows? maybe i really will see the light and come to see it your way. hold your breath why don't you?
Yeah. . . triplets carry a risk and I am just as well aware of today as I was the day we started IVF. All I was trying to do was express to you why most of us would be offended and do it in a kind manner.
I found your reply rude and very defensive. Especially after trying to be nice to you and ease the defensive tone of the topic. I don't appreciate your rude and sarcastic reply when I tried to compliment you as well.
Many of us simply will never understand why you would willing abort a baby that you knowingly made.
I found your reply rude and very defensive. Especially after trying to be nice to you and ease the defensive tone of the topic. I don't appreciate your rude and sarcastic reply when I tried to compliment you as well.
Many of us simply will never understand why you would willing abort a baby that you knowingly made.
Me 35, DH 35
Ectopic Oct. 2005
IVF transfer 1-21-07. . .TWINS!!!!
ww.batesbabies.blogspot.com
http://lilypie.com][img]http://b2.lilypie.com/2XRom7/.png[/img]
http://lilypie.com][img]http://bd.lilypie.com/hWoJm7/.png[/img]
Ectopic Oct. 2005
IVF transfer 1-21-07. . .TWINS!!!!
ww.batesbabies.blogspot.com
http://lilypie.com][img]http://b2.lilypie.com/2XRom7/.png[/img]
http://lilypie.com][img]http://bd.lilypie.com/hWoJm7/.png[/img]
A friend that I was just discussing this with said this to me. . ."Would you have reduced if you had gotten PG w/ twins naturally?". . . Doubtful.
Me 35, DH 35
Ectopic Oct. 2005
IVF transfer 1-21-07. . .TWINS!!!!
ww.batesbabies.blogspot.com
http://lilypie.com][img]http://b2.lilypie.com/2XRom7/.png[/img]
http://lilypie.com][img]http://bd.lilypie.com/hWoJm7/.png[/img]
Ectopic Oct. 2005
IVF transfer 1-21-07. . .TWINS!!!!
ww.batesbabies.blogspot.com
http://lilypie.com][img]http://b2.lilypie.com/2XRom7/.png[/img]
http://lilypie.com][img]http://bd.lilypie.com/hWoJm7/.png[/img]
I am amazed at what I have read here.
Maybe BNB you are forgetting that this is a public forum and EVERYBODY is entitled to their opinion. Others opinion can differ from yours and they have, but from what I have read I don't think these others comments were a peronal attack on your suggested train of thought. Others have tried to be thoughtful and helpful whilst remaining friendly and curteous - maybe you should take a leaf out of their book.
You have been very defensive and rude so maybe you are not as comfortable about your own train of thoughts?
I suggest if you can't handle others opinions without getting defensive and rude maybe you should not bother with these public forums.
I have been around these forums for some years and I have NEVER seen this kind of adverse reaction to others comments.
Di
Maybe BNB you are forgetting that this is a public forum and EVERYBODY is entitled to their opinion. Others opinion can differ from yours and they have, but from what I have read I don't think these others comments were a peronal attack on your suggested train of thought. Others have tried to be thoughtful and helpful whilst remaining friendly and curteous - maybe you should take a leaf out of their book.
You have been very defensive and rude so maybe you are not as comfortable about your own train of thoughts?
I suggest if you can't handle others opinions without getting defensive and rude maybe you should not bother with these public forums.
I have been around these forums for some years and I have NEVER seen this kind of adverse reaction to others comments.
Di
9th attempt IVF - TWINS born 14/06/07
Harry Bede - 5 lb 14oz
Brontë Mathilda - 4lb 12oz
Harry Bede - 5 lb 14oz
Brontë Mathilda - 4lb 12oz
dianec,
yes that's right. EVERYBODY is entitled to their opinion. as long, it seems, as it is acceptable to popular opinion on this board.
funny, but i don't recognize the same courtesy that you do in posts that accuse me of being 1)selfish, 2)reckless 3) told that i have "no right" to optimize my chance to have a child.
is THAT your idea of trying to by thoughtful and helpful while remaining friendly and "curteous"? hmmm. it seems a little off to me. your logic is as faulty as your spelling.
i too am amazed at what i have read here. i would expect people on this board to be compassionate as to the nature of the pain of infertility. but instead you prefer to demonize and throw stones at someone who navigates this course differenltly than you do. as if your decisions and values are the only reasonable ones to hold. all the while preaching about entitlement to freedom of thought and expression. that's rich. but thanks for giving me a good laugh.
maybe YOU should take a leaf out of your own alleged book.
but i guess that makes me defensive and rude. as does replying to your post, right? ah well, i suggest if you can't handle others' opinions then you shouldn't bother with these public forums.
yes that's right. EVERYBODY is entitled to their opinion. as long, it seems, as it is acceptable to popular opinion on this board.
funny, but i don't recognize the same courtesy that you do in posts that accuse me of being 1)selfish, 2)reckless 3) told that i have "no right" to optimize my chance to have a child.
is THAT your idea of trying to by thoughtful and helpful while remaining friendly and "curteous"? hmmm. it seems a little off to me. your logic is as faulty as your spelling.
i too am amazed at what i have read here. i would expect people on this board to be compassionate as to the nature of the pain of infertility. but instead you prefer to demonize and throw stones at someone who navigates this course differenltly than you do. as if your decisions and values are the only reasonable ones to hold. all the while preaching about entitlement to freedom of thought and expression. that's rich. but thanks for giving me a good laugh.
maybe YOU should take a leaf out of your own alleged book.
but i guess that makes me defensive and rude. as does replying to your post, right? ah well, i suggest if you can't handle others' opinions then you shouldn't bother with these public forums.