February Has My Heart - February Cycle Buddies Wanted

[Jen1d]

As i thought i cant feel anything because there is not much there.
The Dr could only find 3 follicles, size 21, 11 and 8. The chances of them finding any eggs is slim and the chances of a bfp are even slimmer.
We are devastated and so upset, i cant stop crying.
We were given the choice of stopping the treatment but the consultant feels strongly that we should keep going as we might get an egg and as they keep telling me, it only takes one. Plus we always have a great record of fertilization so if there is one, who knows.
Have to go in Monday for EC, but just feel numb and cant go on with this crap anymore.

Sorry to be so sad, i dont want everyone els to be brought down because of me.

Jen - EC 12th
Carolyn - ET hopefully Mon 5th or Tues 6th ?
Steph - 17 Follies, Scan ?
Wannababyivf - BFP - Beta 3000, App 16th
AEJ - sea sick hell, stimming Mon?
Angie65 - Stimming, Scan 10th
Shantala - Testing 22nd March
Mominwaiting - BFP - Scan date ?
Wisconsingal - BFP - Scan/Check Up?
Nerms- Stimming, Scan ?
momtojazzie--pregnancy test - March 9th
Dexter - FET April
Jenn - Testing 12th

Love Jen x

[jen779]

Wanna-I put back 2 Grade A blastocysts...keeping my fingers and toes crossed! Say some prayers for me PLEASE!!!!

[pep23]

(((Jen))) So sorry hon. I have been anxiously awaiting your news and I'm really sorry it wasn't what you had hoped for. Please don't give up!!! Listen to your RE because he's right, it truly does only take one. I hope that you get more than that but if you only have one then everything crossed that it's a little fighter!!!!! Chin up sweetie. I'll be thinking of you this weekend.

Wanna- I'm going to steal that song and use it on my 2ww. Looks like it worked well for you!!!

Shantala- How are you feeling today?? Happy to have your little ones back where they belong?

Angie- Everything crossed that you finally get the good news you SO deserve at the scan tomorrow!!!!!

Carolyn- Hope you are feeling a little better. Stay positive!! Sending lots of BFP vibes your way!!

Jenn- Just a few more days!! Are you going to take an evil HPT?? I can't wait to hear all about yoru BFP on Monday!

Momtojazzie- GOOD LUCK TODAY!!! Please keep us posted!!!

As for me, I had my second scan today and my in addition to my 17 follies they saw Wednesday, I've had about 8 more pop up but they are all pretty small. The 17 original ones are measuring around 11-12 with a few at 15. I will go back in tomorrow and Sunday for another scan and most likely trigger will be Sunday night with EC Tuesday the 13th. I'm starting to get so excited and nervous!!

Hope you all have a great weekend...

XO
Steph

[jen779]

NO HPT for me...don't want to know until Monday! Say a pray for me please!

[wannababyIVF]

Jen - on two week wait---SO proud of you!!! Don’t do the HPT before Monday. Don’t do it! Just keep yourself really busy this weekend and keep singing. You will definitely be in my prayers hun! You all are. I can’t wait to hear your news on Monday. I will be stalking you. And remember…Stick to the walls and Grow!

pep—Feel free to copyright the song! I think everyone should sing it. It makes you feel better to sing. It’s a happy feeling and in turn your little embryos are happy. I firmly believe in PMA and the singing really helps. Even now when I start to worry about what’s going on inside me…I sing to them. Wow, great number of follies! You go girl!

Jen - stimming—Don’t be sad sweetie. 21 is a nice size! And I’m sure the others will be bigger by Monday. Don’t fret. They can’t always tell how many eggs are in there until they take the follicles out. My doctor just knew I would have more than what I did and boy was he wrong. So you never know. Also, sometimes they think they know how many are in there but they can’t really tell. Sometimes follicles are hiding behind other ones. There is but so much that scope can see. So you never know. There might be more in there. Don’t get upset. Things can turn around by Monday. You may be upsetting yourself for no reason. Let’s wait and see what happens on Monday. Don’t stop treatment. You have come too far. Stay positive. I will keep you in my prayers.

Love, hugs, prayers and baby dust to all.

[REACH-AEJ]

Hi Girls!

I'm trying to catch up on all the news, so hope I'm not missing anything....

Jen1d - I'm sooo sorry that you didn't get the best of news on your scan sweetie. Please try to stay positive and the fact that the doctors are telling you not to give up says a lot. They've seen it turn out with a BFP before and this very well could be your time! We will be thinking of you this w/e and saying lots of prayers...

Wanna - congrats ~ twins possibly!!! Wow! That's so wonderful. Please keep the positive updates coming !

Pep - 17 follies + more!!! That's great ~ you must be on cloud nine! Will you trigger this w/e?

Shantala ~ You have to littles "buns" in the oven right now! How exciting!! HOpe the 2ww goes quickly for you!

momtojazzie ~ Good luck on a BFP tomorrow! Lots of baby dust !

Angie - good luck on scan tomorrow!

Jen779 - 3 more days! Hope you are going too crazy! Lots of prayers for you!

Carolyn - how are you? Are you having your ET on MOn/Tues?

As for me, I have to keep these estrogen patches (sea sick patches) on until I start my stims...I took my shot yesterday morning and I am hoping for AF so I can start my stims! So do a little jig for me this w/e!!!!

XOXOX,

[jen779]

Jen1d--Keep your head up! When I went for my 2nd to last scan my follicles where small...b/w7-13 and then on the last scan....the cup runith over! They were all 17-20 ( and only one was 20). We ended up having 4 blastoysts Grade A, 2 blasts grade B...well you get the point!!! So it can still work out, but you have to be positive!!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers! Remember, it only takes one!

[lara312]

Jen i hope that them follies grow and grow this weekend ready for mon

Angie good luck with your scan today hopefully you will get to trigger soon

Carolyn how you doing hun hope you are thinking positive for them babies .

Wanna oh nice beta cant wait for your scan to see how many .

sorry ladies for always crashing your thread but like to check on on carolyn and angie hope everyones cycle is going well
love Rachel x x

[Angie65]

Hi Jen1 - oh our follies have a mind of their own - they really do - they are totally unpredictable - mine are all over the place too so I feel for you. Good luck.

My 2 big follies are now too big and will either need to be drained or will resolve themselves. However now have 8 to 12 follies gaining ground at about 10 to 12 mm - since tweaking the dose doc is now 70% sure I will get to EC - which is better than it seemed in the week. I have the dubious honour of being his only patient where there has been such a thin line between over and under stimulating -so with regard to my 20 plus days of stimming, I might discount the first 14 and count from then!.

Next scan Tues - glad cycles are a fixed fee and not dependent on numbers of scans - we would be bankrupt by now.

Have great weekends everyone. A

[CarolynB]

Dear Ladies

I am so sorry that I have been MIA but just needed to take a bit of time out after Tuesday. Guess that I took it hard as it seemed like we were doing really well.

I'll write first for the ladies who are not having the best of time as cannot even start to tell you how much empathy I have for you right now....

Jen1d - I feel so sad and cross reading your news. I know that they put you on this radically different cycle to get you some more eggs. It is all so unfair. But if he is encouraging you to carry on then he must believe that there is hope. I am sure that they all do there best for us. Even if sometimes our bodies don't do what they/we want. Hoping that you'll be surprised and get a couple of nice eggies. Huge hugs. Afraid that I need to be allowed in the 4th timers life boat with you & Lola. Can I join?? Very best of luck for your EC on Monday. I do hope that it will bring you good news. Thinking of you

Angie - what a trying period for you. I simply cannot believe how long it had been for you. You have every right to be chewed off. It is amazing what they find out about our bodies. Cannot believe the difference between over stimming and this cycle for you. I guess it is all about such fine margins. I so hope that you can make it to EC. You have been so brave and strong. Sending hugs down under for you sweetie

Shantala - great news. 2 8 cells back on board. Waiting that extra day certainly meant that they made the best choice for you. Sending you sticky vibes. Hope that you have been taking good care

Wannababyivf - terrific numbers hun. Think that you'll be needing more than 1 name You must be so excited about your scan

Dex - sorry that you are feeling down right now. The pain does ease as the days pass. Life does go on. Honest. It is hard but your FET will be here sooner than you think and they are being so positive about it which is great

Steph - your follies sound fab. So many. Should mean that you have great choices

Momtojazzie - so hope that you have been celebrating. Please don't keep us in suspense any longer

Jenn - welcome. Almost at the end of the journey for you. I hope that Monday will bring you much happiness as you get a step closer to your dream

Reach - am doing an AF jog for you. Hope that you are not too sick

Nerms - how are you doing? Hope that you are feeling ok. When is your scan?

Sorry - downer coming - don't read if you want to keep up PMA

Tuesday was one of the worst days of my life. I have just tried to keep buzy since then. Not manic. Calm but to keep going so I don;t fall apart completely. Dh and I have been out a couple of nights and have had quite a bit of work on. Feel numb rather than anything else. Tried not to write it off completely but being realistic to cushion the fall. Spotting today. D10 as per the last two cycles. Sure that it will all be exactly the same and will be bleeding by tomorrow. That has happened in both prior goes. Cannot even cry anymore. 3 fresh cycles. 30 eggs collected. 18 fertilised. 7 back. Nothing. Plus 2 ops. All in the last year. Think that it has taken it's toll. Would like to take a bit of time out but too worried about my age. Guess that we will start getting tests ready for new clinic over the next few weeks and focus on that. I will need to take a couple of months before I cycle again. Think that this will really be the last time that we try - at least with my eggs.

So sorry not to be the bearer of better news. Afraid that I know what the embryologist told us on Tuesday and saw the looks from the nurses/doctors and knew that it was over for us then.

Have good weekends. Thanks for being here for me. It means a lot.

Hugs to you all - especially Jen1d and Angie.
Carolyn
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[Angie65]

Hi Carolyn - I just read your post and can so relate to it. I truly hope this is your cycle. I also relate to what you are saying about the last year - it is just over a year that we found out we would be on this crazy path. I have been saying the same things to DH - needing a break, can't go on, it's turning me crazy, consuming me etc and if this doesn't work this time, I will definitely take a break even though time is not on my side either.

I think it is good to keep busy and we are trying to do the same - I hope this makes sense - sometings i am not very good with words (better at making jokes I think) and D keeps talking to me and putting me off but I am thinking of you. Take care.

[wannababyIVF]

Carolyn—Hun, I am at a loss for words. I am so sorry that you have had to go thru all this. It really sucks when bad things happen to good people. It just isn’t fair. My BIL and I were just talking to day about people who can get pregnant if you look at them funny and then there are the women that want children so bad and can’t have them. It just isn’t fair. Please keep your head up. I know the road seems dark for you right now, but just take faith in knowing that no one knows what the future holds. Don’t give up. I know what you mean about needing a break but time not being on your side. It’s like damn if you do and damned if you don’t. Remember we are here is you need to talk or vent. Stay positive and keep your head up. I pray that things will work out in your favor.

Angie—Sorry to here about the two over achiever follies. But happy to hear you have more in there that are continuing to grow. I know you are happy to hear about the EC in the near future. I know you are relieved. Not to long know. Good Luck on your next scan.

Love and Baby dust to all.

[Jen1d]

Well girls tomorrow has come around so fast and i'm dreading it. I have not been sleeping well and am terrified the Doc is going to tell me there are no eggs and that means i won't be able to have my own child EVER. It just breaks me up inside thinking about it.
Am just praying they can find 1 egg, at least we still might have one last try but i know there is the problem of it being fertilized AND of a good grade. There just seems too many steps and with only 3 follies my chances are very slim.

Carolyn - Of course you can join me and Lola, anytime.
We seem to be going through exactly the same experience here---don't you just hate your body and my tubes . You hang in there, the Doc spoke to me about donar egg as if it could happen over night but i just feel it wont be MY child and i might struggle with that even though i will carry it. Just seems to much hassle and hard work to think about at the moment, one day at a time eh.
Will let you know how tomorrow goes, please say a little prayer for me and thanks for all your support, your great

PLEASE LET THERE BE JUST ONE LITTLE FIGHTER

Love Jen x

[CarolynB]

Dear Jen - I can understand how scared you are. I so hope that EC tomorrow goes well for you. I shall be thinking of you & praying that there will be 1 or even 2 for you. Was starting to post and then saw your message just come up. This sucks. I just don't know what else to say to you. It breaks my heart that this has to happen to us. It is so dam bloody unfair Have been sleeping badly too. Just keeps going round in my head all of the time. Also know what you mean about donor. Not an esy decision. Woke up just this morning wondering how I would feel if people say naff things like - does he/she look like you. Dh is not sure about it at all either. It is a big step. Don't think of this now. Focus on tomorrow. I so hope that this is your time. Huge ((((hugs)))))

Angie - I am better at making the wise cracks as well....but what you wrote is exactly what I feel. I often find that it is only the other ladies on here who can possibly understand what this is like. Even though we have never met, we can communicate on a level that others who have not experienced this would not get close to. So hoping that your follies are behaving and all the stimming is going to be worthwhile

Wannababyivf - any syptoms yet lovely? Thanks for your kind words. I know that I have to get through this - no other option - right

AF here for me. This is a carbon copy of the first two cycles. Never got past D11. 3 goes. 3 BFNs for me. I shall book follow up tomorrow with our consultant and see what he says for himself. Plus try to get to see our gp to see whether she'll help us with some of the tests for the new clinic to save a bit of £. I guess I started to process this failure from Tuesday so the fall is not as bad as it might have been. Try to be positive and strong for my parents, my dh etc then just keep bursting into tears.

Jen - please let tomorrow go well for you. I shall cross everything that I can for you.

Hope that everyone else is enjoying the weekend. Baby dust and thanks to you all.

Love
Carolyn
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[Angie65]

Jen all the way over there in Scotland - thinking of you and hope EC goes well - your dr must think there is hope to do EC - otherwise surely he would have cancelled your cycle? Take care and try and sleep well before the EC.

Carolyn - so sorry AF is here.

I'm off to bed now - I'm a bit of an insomniac over here too.

Hi to everyone else - have a good Sunday.