Diui after having biological child

[tanya]

Hi,
I have been reading your posts but haven't posted on here for years. I will try and give u a quick background of us and then ask my questions. About eight years ago we found out that dh only had 2million sperm so our only hope was icsi, we were lucky enough to get a + on the first go and we now have a beautiful six year old son. My dh also has a 22yr old son from a previous marriage.
When our son was 2 we decided to try again but dr found dh had no sperm & they performed a biopsie, where they found only a hanful but this was enough to go onto two more cycles of icsi and many fet's with no success.
WE have only now decided to get a second opinion & have found there is no sperm in dh biopsie. Our only chance is donour sperm. Dh is fine with this & he is very excited but i have some reservations.
We have decided not to tell the child and only two people know which is my mother and closest friend.
My fear is that because we have a biological child together people will question the fact that the next child looks different.
My other concern is that although dh is fine with this I feel like I am betraying him in a way by having another mans baby, I know this sounds silly but I can't stop worrying about it.
my last question is what should we expect at our counselling session?

sorry this is so long but any advice would be great.
I don't know anyone else with fertility problems & no one really understands unless they have been through it.

Thanks.

[TansRN]

Tanya (nice name!)

With donor anything there is a lot to think about, It is a very personal decision on what you do. I will be doing a procedure with either IUI or IVF and I do not plan on telling anyone. That could change at any given moment but for now this is how it stands. I know other people feel differently. I am not worried about the children looking different. My sis and I are from the same parents and we look nothing alike. I did not have to go to counseling but it is weird to think about having someone elses baby other than out hubbys but I am still trying to get through all of it and I think that once I find out that we are PG I will forget about it and just be happy. It is your decision only....take time to think about it and what you want to do.