Richard and Judy last night

JULES K · Post by **JULES K** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 2:12 pm

Hi all, Did any one see Richard and Judy last night? For those who didn't there was couple on who have conceived one child through IVF after the husband had sparm frozen before he underwent chemotherapy. Amazingly after the chemo he recovered his sperm count and the couple went on to conceive another 3 children naturally. They still have 8 embies frozen which they want to donate. However they want the law changing to mirror those of adoption so that the families who receive the embies have to be screened to make sure that they will be good parents. The couple also want to keep in touch with any children who result from the embies as they said they would still think of them as their children. I just wondered what your views were on this. Julie xx

rachel r · Post by **rachel r** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 7:24 pm

Hi Julie Well, I didn't see R & J - whilst i think its very admirable that they're donating their frozen embies, I don't agree with the contact thing. I think its like adopting - you give up your right to the child and let the parents (as in the ones who adopted, as they, afterall, are the ones who bring the child up and love it etc)begin their lives with the child - i think to want to donate but keep in contact is having your cake and eating it, and like you mentioned, they now have healthy children of their own. You either donate and accept that the embryo is no longer yours and has no connection with you, or you don't do it. its not fair on the child and certainly not fair on the parents either - they'd never feel like the child was truly theirs. That's just my opinion! Love Rachel

louli · Post by **louli** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 3:36 pm

Just thought I would pop in and give my ten pence worth!!! I did not see it but do agree with Rachel that it would be too confusing for the child and also if the embryo is carried by the adoptive parent for nine months then that is very nearly natural. The embryo will be the biological offspring of the woman within whom it has been able to develop. The genetic parents have only provided DNA. With regard to expecting propective recipients to be vetted as good parents: 1) How can we ever screen for a perfect set of parents 2) Natural conception never screens for good behaviour or good parenting skills 3) Only those who have had to struggle to conceive can ever know the desperate feelings of longing to be a good parent. Is that not enough? apart from the obvious screening for disease etc. Think that is quite enough from me!! Lou

Wibbs1 · Post by **Wibbs1** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 4:36 pm

I need to put my 2 pence worth in aswell, Who the HELL do they think they are, vetting the TO BE parents to see if they are good enought or not to receive their embies , Why the hell do they think we go thru all this s**t and drugs STRESS heartbreak to get pg if we really did not want to be a good parent we or I certaintly would not have gone thru all of that. All I can say is that they must be on some sort of POWER TRIP that they hold some ones happiness in the balance. Personally they can shove their embies where the sun dont shine. Sorry I did not see the program, but this has pi**ed me off. I have spare embies frozen and after i have my baby next year,(as this will be the only one for me) I will be donating them to someone eles, so they have the chance of becomming a Mum & Dad to make them as happy as we are.No questions asked only hope that are successful.