Stressed to the eyeballs

scorry · Post by **scorry** » Thu Dec 04, 2003 7:08 pm

Hi Folks, We are doing a drugs FET cycle in Jan. Is anyone else feeling stressed to the eyeballs? I feel like I'm just living on my nerves, worrying if my nutritional status is good enough, worrying that if I get too stressed it's not going to work? I suddenly realised that January is next month, it seemed ages away when we first decided we would do it then. Sorry, I just needed a moan, not looking forward to Christmas, I've told my husband I don't want to put up the tree or decorations this year, I just don't feel like it, and I normally love Christmas. I feel like bursting into tears when I see everyone out Christmas shopping with their babies, meanwhile Thorfinn's gravestone has just arrived, it's all so bl---y unfair, I'm terrified FET is not going to work and I'll end up with depression. Thanks for listening, Scorry x

Trixie · Post by **Trixie** » Thu Dec 04, 2003 9:03 pm

Hi Scorry. So sorry that you are feeling so down at the moment - moan away, you have every right to. I think after all you've been through it's not surprising that things are getting on top of you, especially in the run up to Christmas which can be really stressful at the best of times. If it's any comfort (probably none whatsoever!) I too feel really p*ssed off at the moment. I won't now be joining you in Jan for FET because our clinic can't fit us in for a review consultation until 28 Jan, which means I won't get going until Feb at the earliest. I know it's only an extra month, but every month feels like a year at the moment, everything seems to take so long, like walking through treacle sometimes, and time is ticking away (will be 37 next year). Makes me feel sick thinking that it might not work and the older I get, the less likely the chances are that it will work. Also, I feel like there are babies around every corner - even when I woke up this morning, the first thing I heard was on the news that Gwyneth Paltrow is expecting next summer - sent me into a horrible and totally irrational rage! Feel like such a horrible person for thinking such nasty thoughts but am in irrational mad woman mode at the moment! The only helpful thing I can say at this point is that I have seen loads of really positive postings on this and other boards about successful FET and when I am feeling really down about things I try to focus on those stories and what I hope is a very real possibility that FET will work. But for now, chin up sweetie, I am thinking of you (and I am sure lots of others who visit this board are thinking of you too) and this is certainly the place to unload if you need to get things off your chest. Trixie

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Thu Dec 04, 2003 9:07 pm

Scorry YOU NEED A BRANDY AND COKE!!!!!!!!!! that is my answere anyway , I feel for you deeply , try and throw yourself into christmas , I really didnt want to after my negitive last week and have started shopping for pressents and this weekend I will do the decs and tree etc at least the place will look different for a while ! as for nutrtional status all they said to me was cut down on caffeine dont starve yourself of food you enjoy or that will add to your stress levels, have you tried reflexology? I tell you its so calming and yoga, or get some relaxing music and run a lovely bath for yourself and get DH to massage your shoulders . I am here any time you want to moan. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Trace x This is how brave I was today , I went to my Nephew's christmas play he was a sheep and he is 4 years old , god I cried they all looked so sweet. [Edited by Traci on 04-Dec-03 13:09]

Tracey S · Post by **Tracey S** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 8:09 am

Scorry and Trixie I can recommend Traci's brandy and coke - she sent me one via e mail and I have the headache to prove it. Trixie you don't know my history - Scorry you do! 37 with two young step -children to add insult to injury with totally knackered tubes. TTC for 8 yrs on and off - first ivf was ectopic two weeks before my wedding last yr - lovely. Took out a tube and the other was stuck to my bowel. Goes 2 no go - negative then 3 was FET also negative and 4th another FET postive!!! We went along for our 20 Week scan and they told us our baby had died - that was back in september and we have had to wait 12 weeks for a post mortem. He was a boy and we called him Oliver - next week we have to sort funerals on wed then on friday get our PM results and open up wounds. I hate christmas as every year we say "next year" - tmt does work at 37 by the way but know what you mean. Caroline I am stressed too - have done no shopping - don't want to, have no money and GAbbie is tying me to the house (or using that as an excuse!!!) have not been back to work since sept and have no money. Have the two kids every other weekend and once in the week so that can be another slap in the face as all i hear is daddy this, mummy that and then "tracey" - and I feel I should go round with a sign on my back saying "INFERTILE" - Dig deep both of you and you will find your dreams just as I am trying to do. Caroline - glad you have the headstone but what a bitter sweet reminder - how dreadful for you. I am always around for a chat. Trixie - fight on. Traci - bottoms up mate. Love Tracey xxx

Alison · Post by **Alison** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 10:13 am

Just wanted to pop in on some of my old friends - I guess for all of us this has been the hardest year imaginable and we all deserve a bloody large brandy and coke (or other tipple of choice!) - I'll be having my first one this afternoon as its our office lunch/night out. I'd hoped to have to stay off the booze but its not to be, so I'm going to try to dance my troubles away! Scorry, you've been through so much, but try not to get too stressed. You're doing all you can to make it work. Know just how you feel about Christmas. DH and I usually have a big argument about when to put the decorations up - he usually wants a tree as soon as its December but I think you should wait til the weekend before Christmas - but this year we just haven't got the heart for it. Trixie, agree absolutely about Gwyneth Paltrow - *****! How come some people can have everything (although I suppose she did lose Brad Pitt so deserves some compensation!) Traci, I don't know how you do it, seeing your nephew's play. The tears probably did you good though. Tracey - even though I've been there with you through the last year or so of your story reading it again still brings tears to my eyes. You're amazingly strong and will get the happiness you deserve. Much love to you all Alison x

Bex · Post by **Bex** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 2:49 pm

Hi Scorry, I posted the other week when you said about going for FET. I know what you mean about the stress level - we're currently living with my parents while our new house is being built, as if that isn't stressful enough, i've just started HRT for a FET - we're under the illusion that the time is wrong and we'll let fate decide. WE thought that everything else going on will take our mind off the treatment ! Just got to wait until next week to see how many (if any) of our 5 frosties make it to blastocyst ! Good luck and i'll keep an eye out to see how you're getting on. love Becky xxx

fi · Post by fi » Fri Dec 05, 2003 6:14 pm

WE ARE ALL FEELING IT!!!!!!!!! just wanted to say that it sucks and that I will be FET with you in Jan. With 3 new nieces or nephews recently been announced (and i already have 7!!!!!) and my 3 of my friends expecting I think you could safely say I have had my moments!!! lets hope that 2004 is our year, but if it isnt then we will just have to keep going and hold each others hands in cyberspace. hang in there, luv fi {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} ps are you doing a natural fet and have you had FETS before?

Grace · Post by **Grace** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 6:40 pm

Hi Gals I thought it was just me but Gwyneth Palthrow's "good news" has really throughly pissed me off for some reason. I know I am probably a mean and horrible person. It was when I read that they had only been trying for a month or something and are now "ecstatic" - I just thought you don't know the meaning of the word, "ecstatic" is when one of us on here get's pregnant not someone who has hardly tried. Sorry about that little rant but just needed to say something about it. Perhaps I need one of Traci's brandy and cokes I know I will certainly be hitting some red wine tonight. I am sick of 2003 and hope in whatever way 2004 is alot better for all of us. Have a great weekend my friends Love Grace

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