The Over 40 Crowd

[Kat]

Bridget - excellent news - just goes to show you can't trust those HPTs. Says she who has a couple lined up for the end of the week
I read on the back of the box that even on the day of your period, only 87% of pg women will get a pg reading on the HPT. 4 days early and it goes down to something like 53%.

Anyway, let's hope this week continues with more good news. I am feeling up and down, convinced one way one minute and the other the next. Normal 2ww behaviour, I know. I am conscious of my lower abdomen almost permanently, doesn't help that my bowels are playing up with the progesterone, I can't tell if I can feel them or if it feels like period cramps. I have a bad back too which won't be helping my general feeling of wellbeing. Infact I am falling apart. can't remember at what stage my boobs started getting sore last time. Maybe it wasn't 'til later on. May have to look up my old posts...aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhh!!!

Kat xx

[Bridget Jones]

Hi again- Kat hang in there you're nearly through but please don't use those HPT's
I'm afraid Ive had the results of the 2nd test just now and they have advised that the pregnancy isn't' viable - at the same time have also started bleeding, so I guess I'm down in the pit again.

Nobody want to hear bad news, so I'll keep quiet now, but please all of you ladies do not use the HPT's - the stress they put me under over the last 3-4 days may well have caused me to miscarry now
BJ

[AMck]

Hello ladies

Bridget so sorry to see your news. Take care x

Kat, still have everything crossed for you. Hang in there, not long to go now. Hope the aches and pains have subsided. Please try and stay away from the evil HPT if you can! PMA to you xx

Wanda, good luck with your next cycle. Thinking of you

Yasmina, good to see your post. Glad to see all is going well.

Clare, hello and thank you for my message. Can't believe Charlie is 5 months old already! Hope going back to work isn't too bad. I'm fine, not long to go now. It's lovely being on maternity leave, just wish the bathroom would be finished so I can start cleaning and sorting the Nursery properly. The workman is using the 'Nursery' as a work station!(ps. I post on the Spring Babies thread on the pg after tmt forum)

Tammy, good to see your news. I'm fine, just busy spending money and meeting friends for lunch! I am planning a vaginal birth if all goes according to plan...maybe mother nature has other plans for me...who knows! Hopefully not too long to go now.

Bev, how are you? Hope all is well.

PMA to all lovely ladies here, at whatever stage you are at. Keep the faith, dreams DO come true.

Take care all, hugs
Anna x

[Kat]

I am now beginning to be convinced it has not worked. I have cried all the way to work.
I had what I thought was implantation bleeding on Friday - it was the right day, tiny bit of brown, just a dry stringy bit, you know the type of thing. So all positive there. Yesterday I had some more brown, again one tiny stringy bit and I remember I had this the day before I tested positive last time round, so all fine, voices in my head feeling quite positive. Boobs a bit sore on and off, again, good sign, don't get that with normal period.
This morning when I wiped it was more like the very beginning of my period, just a very faint discolouration. I still have what feels like period pains most of the time.

How can I be pregnant with all this going on?

My advice to anyone else, of course, would be that you can't tell 'til you test, hang in there etc etc but this doesn't work when I am telling myself.

I just went for a wee now and everything was normal again. So I ask myself is my period just not coming properly because of the medication? The nurse said I would not bleed. Or is the tiny bit of not even proper bleeding (you wouldn't call it bleeding if you saw it yourself) just a normal thing with the embryo(s) bedding in and settling down for the long haul.

I hate this, hate it hate it hate it

Kat xx

[DianeC]

Kat

Hang in there - it is very difficult on the 2ww however in your situation even more so. When you get to the stage where you are on your eighth attempt it is extremely difficult going through this period leading up to your bloodtest. I not saying it is easier when you are cycling on the 1st or 2nd or 3rd attempt - its just the more you cycle the more intense your feelings, thoughts, twinges, etc.. seem to be.

We too have been through many cycles (9) trying to conceive using IVF and donor eggs. From our experience we found the way we handled the 2ww differed greatly as we progressed meaning that the stress levels really intensified with each new cycle.

We too always thought that the cycle was not going to be sucessful even before the pg test, we would talk ourselves around it being a negative - like preparing ourselves for the worst before it even happened.

However, a happy ending does happen to those who persevere. Hang in there and be kind to yourself and recognise that you have a history of many negatives behind you which more than likely intensifies and influences how you are feeling right now.

I also worked through a lot of our IVF cycles except towards the end when I just could not cope with work on top of everything else. Would not take much for me to be reduced to tears and on occassion I would just go home sick. On the last few cycles I actually got a certificate from my doctor and took the last few days leading up to the result off. You could even take leave. I found that I coped better doing this.

Keeping fingers crossed for you and really wishing you and your DH the very best of luck with this cycle - god knows you deserve it

Di

[Catharine]

Greetings to everyone-

It's been awhile since I've last posted [actually many posts ago according to the board]. I've had a rollercoaster of a ride with my emotions. The clinic we use has had a recent changing of the guard so to speak, several REs have moved on to other positions outside the area; several nurses, schedulers and coordinators have also moved on. unfortunately, this meant the several clients such as ourselves [Me and DH] fell through the cracks created by the shift change. This really infuriated me especially since I'm racing that fuse attached to the age bomb---43.

Quick question: at age 43, once that day occurs do the RE's suddenly change their approach to reaching our goal---procreating---having a healthy baby to love and care for eternity?

Well, after much aggressive behaviour on my and DH's part. I'm scheduled for diagnostic surgery in mid-April. DH has since had blood work and the results are interesting. His prolactin and Thyroid hormones are fine within the middle of the normal range. However, his FSH an LH are non-existent, meaning he's turned off and his testoserone vavlues are very low. It is this that most likely is contributing to his low counts and low motility. They will try to jump start DH with you guessed it ladies injections of FSH hCG and I believe LH. Has anyone had similar diagnosis and suggested treatment plan. The goal is to get him turned on
make sure my catchers mit is on properly and facing the correct direction. Once these criteria are satisfied we re-evaluate and shoot for IUI or natural conception [in lieu of ART]

Wishing everyone all the best.

Catharine
________
Me 42 DH 42
ttc>5y
IUI nov 06 BFN
IVF-ICSI feb07 BFN

[children]

Kat,

I am sorry that you feel this way and I hope by the time you read this post, you have already known for sure your cycle has worked! I am an optimistic person in general, I rather believe that the cycle has worked this time, wait and see. As you said before, physical feelings can be deceiving. I remember in my first cycle, after the nurse told me that my blood test result was negative, I still keep using progesterone in case the test was wrong until the period came for sure!

Yasmina

[Kat]

Catharine, I hope it all works out for you. I am sure it is a good sign that the clinic are continuing to do investigations for you and suggesting tmt for DH, they must believe there is hope or they wouldn't bother, surely?

As for me, I had a look back at few old posts and made myself feel a bit better. Found a couple I had saved out to my home pc last time I was on 2ww about cramps and they made me feel a whole lot better. What would we do without this site?
Official test is tomorrow morning but I will probably do a hpt tonight. The clinic has just given me a fancy hpt to do rather than asking me in for a blood test so I can't do that and then just go off to work, I have to do one tonight to know the answer. I had a 4 day transfer - had I had a 3 day transfer today would be test day anyway so I reckon it's OK.

Hi to everyone and wish me luck
Kat xx

[DianeC]

Giving you lots and lots and lots of baby dust

Best wishes and very good luck to you and DH.

Di

[Kat]

It is really looking like the start of AF now. Pink discolouration when I wipe.
I am at work and I just want to go home and cry and cry, I am having real trouble holding it together and not doing very well. I can't be pregnant now. I know brown is OK but pinky-coloured? I am not daft, I know what AF looks like.

I will do the test but really what is the point of doing it when I know the answer.

[pauline69]

Hi ladies, I hope you dont mind me butting in, these days I don't post at all, I just lurk to see how you are doing as I've cycled with some of you in the past.

Kat, I'm so sorry to read you think AF is coming, I've been watching your progress and hoping you get your BFP this time.

Catharine, you say that your GP said that clomid could help with DH's quantity/motility. I have had 3 -ve IVF/ICSI over the past 2 years and my DH isn't prepared to do another IVF/ICSI so at my request my consultant has put me on Clomid (we are unexplained infertility although my DH sperm has had low quantity/motility in a couple of his tests). We saw consultant yesterday and she said that we should try one last IVF/ICSI and if that doesn't work then to call it a day. I'm just wondering if your DH ever did take the clomid and what the protocol for it was i.e. did he take it for a few days each month or what? My DH has said he would take it but my consultant doesn't think it would do any good, but if he is prepared to take it then I will try and get some clomid for him too.
Sorry for such a long post but wanted to give you some background.

Anna, wow, you are almost there - wishing you a safe and peaceful delivery.

Best of luck to everyone else and congratulations to all the new mothers.
Pauline

[Sonix]

Kat, so sorry to hear what you are having to go through.

Really wishing you tons of luck that all will work out well. Thinking of you and DH.

Sonia
xxx

[Kat]

It was a very definite BFN. That's a big F-ing negative.

I'll be back, not sure when, but I will be back

Take care and thankyou all for being such good friends

Kat xx

[Catharine]

Hello Everyone
TGIF

Kat-my heart goes out to you. I'm saddened to hear your news.

Pauline-with regards to my DH and clomid. Simple answer he has not taken clomid, yet. Yesterday DH saw his doc who collaborates with my RE and the doc's perfessional opinion is to start with clomid, knowing that we are racing the time clock. So, for the next 3 weeks my DH will be on clomid. Then in another 3 weeks [6 total from yesterday] the clinic will test to see if DH's numbers and motility have increased. This should give an indication as to how to proceed from there. The doc said it takes time for the clomid to work.

As a side note, although these doctors are collaborators, one thing I learned yesterday is that all communications are handled by fax or e-mail. The docs do not talk with one another. When I asked why, the answer was simple: who would they bill for the time spent chatting with one another? and how would you go about coding it for billing? In summary the bottom line is money. It's frustrating to hear this for how can the provide efficient and effective care in the situation that a couple is 'suffering' from infertility. Yet another lesson on how we have to be our own advocates to make sure we get the proper care and treatment. Until this time I had not realized how much faith I had in the medical establishment. In fact I thought I was quite skeptical. But my reality is that I do have this inkling of 'faith' and surrender all my judgements to the establishment, thinking/expecting that they are taking the best care of us. I forget they are human too and that they are in a service industry, overseeing the care of hundreds of clients.

So, in summary I will be having diagnostic surgery in 3 weeks. DH is on clomid [seems backwards, aye]. I've done my homework on this and am confident that this is an accepted treatment protocol for our situation. Crossed fingers that our luck is increasing with the new plan of action.

It's Friday--DH is in Palm Springs this long weekend. I'm heading to the mtn house for some R&R.

Wishing everyone a wonderful spring weekend.

Cheers!
Catharine

[Bridget Jones]

Hi everyone - just coming out of the other side of that huge black hole.
Kat I'm really sorry for your news- the hardest part about a bfn is not knowing the reason why, I know myself I couldn't have done anything differently. I lost 2 stone to get ready for this, managed to get rid of my endo and any cysts I previously had, as well as reduce my NK cell count naturally - had acupuncture, hypnotherapy and nutrition advice and still no joy.

I now know that IVF is an addiction, and as long as there is a door open somewhere, we will consider it - which is worse for us this time as we have exhausted all birthing options now.
We will look at adoption, but need time to lick our wounds have a holiday etc, I wish you Kat and your DH the very best in deciding on your future.

To everyone else, again thank you for your support- we are the most resilient and adaptable group pf people, and whatever happens, its good to know you guys are out there somewhere.

God bless BJ