The Sisterhood of the Blue Stilettos

[vicky77]

Well done Wanna!!, it all went very well apparently, I can see the burden being lifted from your shoulders now, it must be such a relief huh!!!

Jenn....I totally understand what you were saying about the extra room, I have been doing the same thing, saving the room for the "baby", but it just becames a useless room unfortunately, so I guess I will proceed to use it for something else in the meanwhile.....

Mel.....can't believe that ex-friend of yours!!, as you well said, what balls!!, I would have smaked her anyway, even if it was delayed....About your RE appt, don't be nervous, you are getting closer to your dream!!! How's your re-broken pinkie toe??

Amy....so sorry about your uncle, but at least he lived a long life and didn't suffer when he left, so that is good....

Where the hell is our HRH???...how dare you leave your kingdom like that?.........

Well, I have my scan and bw tomorrow!!!, will keep you guys posted!!

[sassynlv]

Amy: sorry 'bout Uncle Arne. Hope you get unpacked and settled in well (my dh hates it... i take days to unpack )

Wanna: so glad to hear the "announcement" went well!!! What a relief that must be. I am hoping the rest go well this wkend. oh, and btw... it is so cute picturing you with a little "bump"!

Well, dh and i had a HUGE argument last pm and i need to vent. Remember that whole "now interested in adoption or ds" thing? Yeah, well i guess not. Before, Dr. D recommended ferting 1/2 eggs next cycle w/ds as he now thinks our major problem is sperm chromosomal abnl. Dh had given me a whole list of ds questions to ask Dr. D. (who, btw called me last pm since he heard i wasn't cycling this month and wanted to check in on me and make sure i was ok... sweet, huh?). So i asked him the long list of detailed questions dh had given me and got all the ds info.

So was telling dh about it on the way home (both on cell phones) and he got all pissed off that i hadn't asked similar detailed questions re: de. HUH? He had made me swear that if he did ds, i would also be willing to do de... and i did. But he never mentioned asking de questions now... and why would i... as the whole plan was to do the ferting as an experiment to prove whether or not it is dh's sperm that is the problem? ANYWAY, it became clear this was really about him being frustrated and rethinking using ds. And i told him that... he agreed.

When home we went on a walk. He started out by saying that i have clearly been in a funk for the last 2 weeks and he doesn't want this to continue for the rest of our lives just 'cuz i don't have a baby. WHAT? This is the first time in 4 failed cycles that i have had a hard time... I will admit i am still a little "down" and tired lately. But obviously i am functioning ok as i spent over 100 hrs in a wk while in this funk working on his f*ckin' case. It went downhill from there. He did what i call the "interrogation" technique (as if he is cross-examining me) trying to lock me into a position that he could then use against me. Then said the only way he would even consider using ds is if first i did a de cycle to "prove" to him that it wasn't a big deal. Huh? Spend $25,000 more just to prove that i want a baby, biological or not? Whatever.

Anyway... i think it is clear that donors/adoption is not a good option for us at this point (ya think? ). He says it would basically be me having a baby w/another man and then he would only be raising it... and believes he would never feel connected to a child if we adopt. My dh is VERY hung up on the significance of DNA/genetics... and apparently things haven't changed like i thought they had. I think he wanted to consider ds/adoption, (and i feel like he gave me false hope about it) but really, it appears that his beliefs/feelings are well-entrenched and probably will never change.

Had a chat this am and called him on how he dealt w/it all last night and he apologized and admitted he was lashing out at me. At this point we are just going to leave it alone for a month or two... and plan on just finishing out the two fresh we have left... then, well i guess we will deal with that when it comes. Mentally, though i am just going back to assuming adoption is not an option for us. Oh well, was nice while it lasted

[sassynlv]

Ooops.. vicky... i see that i missed you whist posting...
GL on bw/us tomorrow.. so is this your baseline and then you will start stims? Or am i totally off???

Mel: ummmm. you seem to be having major pinky toe issues. don't know what to make of that. See, if it was me i would have totally been pissed off at my preg friend that i was calling... since in addition to the nerve she has to get preg so easily... she made me fall on the pavement and bust my toe again. Hope that little bugger is doing better today... i mean, come on... it is getting to be sandals weather in our part of the world!

[nickster]

Wanna~ I'm so glad to hear your friend took the news so well. That has got to be such a relief! Isn't it sooo wierd how she knew you were pregnant? Hopefully you're right and now she will go get herself and dh checked out. Maybe this is what she needed. Now on to the next phase this weekend! This part will be fun though.
Have you been feeling better?

Sassy~ Sorry to hear about your dh's change of heart (if I can call it that). Just when you thought he was coming around. Sounds like he is in his own "funk". What is it with men and that whole "s" thing? For some reason it seems like men get much more offended than a woman does when something's wrong with the "s". I guess it's a macho-testosterone thing!

Amy~ Sorry to hear about your uncle. But, wow, what a way to go! I know it doesn't make it any easier on the family though.

Mel~ Damn toe! I'm sorry...that just sucks!

Jenn~ I think it's unanimous...we all have or have had an official baby room. We have one. Every other room in the house has furniture and has been painted except this one bedroom. And, suprisingly dh is much more stuck on it than I am. When we did IVF in Feb. his mom has this psychic friend that told her we would get pregnant in that cycle with twin girls. dh said during the tww "should we paint that bedroom pink?" (he was sort of kidding!). I said "Uh-NO!" And of course the psychic was wrong, so there the room sits...again! I love your idea though. We need to do something else with that room. I think it's worse to be constantly walking by it and seeing it empty. That can't be good for us! Great idea!

Vicky~ Whatever happened with the condo people and Sanson? Did they ever make a decision?

Fee~ How is everything going with you?

[Melissa112]

Amy I am so sorry about your Uncle, I will keep you all in my prayers! It souds like you handled it very well!

Wanna - I am so sorry that you had to have a cross examination argument with your dh! I am sorry that he lashed out on you, but boys tend to do that, they dont' know how to handle their emotions. BOYS! MEN! Same freakin' difference! I hope you are finding some peace in his ability to talk with you about how he was feeling.

My pinkie toe is a beautious shade of purple! Nice huh! And here I was trying to do the right thing by calling Non-Married Pregnant Friend! Oh and don't worry Friend-With-Balls, I slapped her in my thoughs, over and over and over again!

[sassynlv]

Jenn-- I'm hearing you on the baby room thing. We got into a new house 4 1/2 yrs ago. I planned on one particular room becoming the nursery and for the first couple years would call it that when taking people around the house. About 18 mo ago, dh told me to stop doing that. We now call it the "day room" and we have another bed in there. We also use it for all kinds of storage. I'm glad he didn't allow me to call it the nursery for much longer... it is just depressing now thinking about it. I like it much better now that it is just another guest room.

[Melissa112]

Everyone - I guess we all have that room, when you try as hard as we all are/have to have a little munchkin, you feel like you should be ready for when/if/when it happens. I know that when it happens for us, my quilting/sewing room will become the nursery, but if I left it open for that, I would be killing myself alittle bit each time knowing that it hasn't happened yet. So we'll just keep using it as the hobby room for when.

[jenn]

Amy- I'm sorry about your Uncle. You and the family are in my prayers.

Mel- sorry about your toe. Purple is one of my favorite colors though!

Sassy- sorry about your go round with DH. Last night must have been fight night because Dh and I went a couple rounds ourselves. Round one was on our nightly walk. We talked about me going back to work and we kind of got into it. Round two was while doing our taxes for the 2nd night in a row. FUN!

Fee, Patie, Coco- Where are ya??

Angie- hope you are doing ok.

Vicky- GOOD LUCK WITH U/S AND B/W!!!!! I don't know what a baseline is, but I hope you have the best one yet!!!

[Melissa112]

Jenn- I am so glad that my toe can honor you with the color! That is fantastic!!! I am sort of bummed because my toe doesn't look cute in any shoes, so Friday, I am going to go and get a pedicure, maybe I'll do purple in honor of the color! Although since Tuesday is my appointment, maybe blue sparkles? Decisions, decisions!

Vicki - Best of luck with the Ultra Sound!!! And the B/W! I am keeping you in my prayers too!!!

Well I guess DH and I should be raring up for an argument, it seems to be going around - we are due anyway - we've been good lately. Really almost too good, ya know when you think things are going too smooth - well that is where we are right now.

We'll see.

Where is Coco, Patie and Fee? I miss them!!!

XXOO!

Mel

[Angie65]

hi dear ladies - here I am a week on from the crushing blow. I'm kind of ok. A few things on socially and of course excited about our new house and all the work to be done there.

I'm finding it quite easy to switch off from IVF but then there is always this underlying sad feeling about the whole thing too, which won't quite go away.

Plan so far is to see acu lady next week. She is quite lovely and I want to talk to her about taking a bit of time out and her working to see if she can regulate my cycles. So will see what she has to say.

Then we will see what Dr G has to say on Thursday - Probably "it's just a numbers game" - his favourite expression as you know. Once we have spoken to both we will decide what to do. We have 6 frosties but I'm not sure at this stage if I am ready to jump back straight in or not. We will see...........

I hope you all have a great Easter - will pop by from time to time but need to try and wean myself off the board for a least a little while. A

[FionaA]

Hi All

Well a combo things have conspired to stop me maintaining communications with the sisters....not least of which is my suspicious boss who finally seems to have cottoned onto the fact that I have done no work for the past six months.

All is OK here, Noggin appears to be OK, but can't really tell because no-one is testing me for ANYTHING. I have not had a blood test for 8 days now and I'm starting to get a bit toey...

Now I've got a bit of catching up to do and can't promise to do it in one post (still at work - boss still circling) so I'll type fast and spew out as much as poss.

First! Angie,, great to hear from you! enjoy your breather, sometimes it's good to take a break from the whole IVF thing and just try not to think about it...Hope you can pop in from time to time because we'll miss ya. We don't have to talk about IVF stuff...I vaguely recall having other interests in life...Hope your acu lady can help you out. In terms of what you are doing in the future I guess it's always worth remembering that an FET cycle is a hell of a lot better than a fresh one and you have a decent number of frosties...May be worth asking Dr G about developing frosties or future fresh embies to blast stage before transfer, I have read a bit about it and I think it improves your odds. Just a thought, hope you don't mind. Really hope you and DH are going OK and will be thinking about you.

Sass, I don't think I even got the chance to tell you about how happy I was for you that DH was considering adoption then ds/de. Man I was ecstatic for you as I was hoping that it might at least take some of the pressure off this whole blasted process.

Then I read your recent post about your dust up with DH about those issues. I'm really sorry about that, it seems that he is still conflicted about it....Personally I have no issue with ds or de and am not fixated on seeing a genetic mini me, but everyone is different and I do think that blokes perhaps struggle with the donor thing more than women....maybe nickster's right and it's a macho thing. Have you guys thought about having counselling for these issues? I think in Oz if you are going the donor route you are required to have counselling to make sure you are happy with your decision...and as far as you being in a "funk" for a while I get the impression that you are one of life's "copers", you know the kind that picks up the pieces after everyone elses disasters???? Well, when copers become unstuck it really sticks out and freaks out their nearest and dearest because it is so out of character.... I don't think it's unreasonable for you to be upset for a couple of freaking weeks (during which time you have actually probably done more work than I have in the past six months - yeah i don't think I could claim to have worked 100 hours in the past six months let alone in a couple of weeks!!!)....sometimes I don't think that DH's understand how hard this process is on us, I've certainly tried to shield my DH from some of my dark times...BLOODY MEN!!!

P.S. Sass, i don't know if you have the tv show Wife Swap over there? If not, it is a show where couples swap partners for a couple of weeks (not in a swinger kind of way though!!!) and usually realise during that time that their spouse isn't as bad as they thought they were. If you like I will come into your house to replace you for a couple of weeks. Your DH won't know what hit him. Apparently I can be impossible to live with....so says my DH. I think your DH would really appreciate you after that.

Mel, I have spoken with the Attorney General and we have placed your toe on the Worldwide Endangered Species list. That means that no-one can shoot it. Hopefully that will improve your odds of still having it in tact by the end of this year...don't like your chances though... As far as your appointment goes I understand the nerves. After my BFN i was so nervous going back to the clinic and had tears in my eyes when the nurse left the room to get something. Even when I have to go back to the hospital (where the clinic is) it kind of freaks me out... good luck with your appt and hopefully a fresh start with new clinic will deliver the goods so to speak.

Jenn .... U cracked me about about fighting with DH... my DH and I have also had a good run lately, it is about time for a rough patch....we have a long weekend coming up so, maybe all that couple time will lead to us rubbing each other up the wrong way, it's inevitable.

Amy, good to have you back, sorry to hear about your Uncle though. I hate it when relatives die, family is small enough as it is...what are you up to??? where are we at with our fund raising? I think we need to amp it up.

Wanna, sounds like you handled the BF situation with aplomb. Her DH sounds very nice and hopefully she will see from your example that IF treatment can and does work and that she needs to start making enquiries...

Vicky, HRH offers a thousand apologies for leaving the kingdom. I wouldn't be surprised if I was overthrown and had my head cut off for being so negligent. Yay you are well and truly on your way with your cycle. Goody! gives us all something to focus on...how many frosties do you have??? how many will you be having put in??? Goody.

Hey Nickster, how are you going? Did you say you have an empty room? Great, I will ship a roomful of cr@p to you for storage if that is OK. My house is so full of stuff that people feel the need to give me - second hand furnture from the 70's etc...

Mego, I really enjoyed your mini rant! Good to see you can still fire up like the good old days....anything else you want to get off your chest?

Now I'm missing Patie, the only way that she will be excused for her absence is if she is eating 24/7. that had better be the case...

And Coco, welll I order you by royal decree to return to the sisterhood kingdom. Don't make me make the Attorney General issue a warrant for your arrest. Come back quietly and everything will be OK.

It's good to be back,

Fee

[nickster]

Fee~
Good to hear you're doing well! Noggin is doing just fine in there!
So your boss is on to ya, huh? He'll have to get on here and we'll all tell him this is much more important than work! How dare him bother you when you talk to the sisters!
By the way...when I say empty room, I didn't mean TOTALLY empty! There is some crap in there. It's kind of one of those rooms where whatever we don't know what to do with goes in. You know, kind of like a junk drawer...only BIGGER! That's just really the room we don't decorate on the hopes that we won't have to re-decorate later (there's always hope).

Angie~ Good to hear from you. Concentrate on that house and think of how nice that will be when it's done.
Good luck with your appt with Dr. G. Don't we all know the whole "numbers game" expression! Six frosties though, that's great.
You have a good Easter too. Kick back, have a few drinks, and try to relax!

[jenn]

Nickster- LOL! we called our 'baby' room- the 'room where all the furniture goes to die.' Mostly because family kept giving us furniture and other things that they didn't want anymore, but didn't want to throw away. So we took it and never used it, and it just sat in the room, until eventually WE threw it away!

I must say it feels good to have the bed in there and I got window treatments. It's all fixed up and ready to be used. I'm happy about that!

Fee- glad you are back! Sorry you were discovered at work for your lack of work!!

Later! have a great Easter weekend everyone! Hope you get a day or two off of work!

[nickster]

Jenn~ "Dead furniture" room, huh? That's funny! So I guess I feel lucky that mine is just our old crap and not everyone elses too!

[nickster]

Where is everyone today?