The Over 40 Crowd

[children]

Geckogirl, that is unbelievable. You sounded very calm and took it well. I think it is always better to have alternatives line up, either donor egg or adoption. It is getting harder and more expensive to adopt – I am told. I think if you used donor eggs, you would experience the journey of pregnancy which is kind of special and fun, but in the mean time worrisome. Anyway, let us know what your RE has to say and what his/her suggestions are for the next step. All the best!

Hi new mothers, I can’t brag about Eloise anymore - she pooped in the diaper tonight which upset me quite a bit since she had not done that for a long while. Especially yesterday I told that Eloise had started to use potty at 6th week to one of my colleagues who had a baby girl 4 weeks ago. I was optimistically hoping that she would be clean around a one year birthday!!! She also rejects bottles from Mom and Dad now – only accepts them from my Aunt. How can baby develop backwards?!

[jen babes]

Gekogirl

sorry to hear your news. Big hugs x x x

love jen
xxxxx

[BevT]

Geckogirl, so sorry to hear your news. Looking forward always helped me - gives you something to focus on. As the mother of a beautiful 16 week old son from DE treatment, I can entirely recommend it. It can take some time to come to terms that donor egg is the way forward, letting go of your "own eggs" can be difficult, but once the decision is made I can confirm that you will love that baby no matter what. Good luck with your decisions.

Yasmina, sounds to me that Eloise is just going through one of the many phases that you will experience. I don't think she is "developing backwards". Maybe its a case of one step forwards, two steps backwards. I am sure she will come through the bottle preference soon, and maybe pooping in her nappy once was such an unpleasant experience, she will not want to do it again. Can't imagine it's very nice sitting in a poopy nappy eh?

Better close as William is waking.

Bev xxx

[teachertam]

Geckogirl: I'm so sorry to hear your news. I'm glad that you are looking ahead to your next steps. DH and I had given up on having a biological child and were going down the international adoption road when I became pregnant with Andrew. If you have any questions about international adoption, I would be happy to share with you what I know.

Yasmina: Regarding the bottle, I don't give Andrew the bottle. DH and my relatives give it to him. Two days ago DH was trying to get Andrew to take the bottle, when I walked into the room. I was talking to DH and Andrew started fussing and refusing the bottle. DH told me to leave the room and it worked. I guess Andrew heard my voice and was thinking, "why don't you give me the breast mama?" I try to get him to take a bottle every 2 or 3 days, as he will need to take it in 1 month when I go back to teaching a face-to-face class 3 days a week.

Last night Andrew had a nightmare or a night terror. I had just put him down and he started this shrill screaming and crying. I picked him up but his eyes were closed. I could not stand the thought of him scared!! I just rocked the little guy back to sleep. I am so in love with this little man!!!

Bev: How are you and Wills doing? Andrew slepted 4.25 hours the first shift and then 4.5 hours the second shift last night. The little guy went down at 9:30, got up at 1:45 and up again at 6:30. He is still sleeping and it is 8:40am! We have a birthday party tonight. I hope he is a good boy.

Kat: How are you? When is your next treatment cycle?

Anna: I hope you and Matthew are doing well.

Hello to everyone else.

Regards,
Tammy

[jen babes]

Hi all

Tammy you are such a good mummy...can't believe that little ones have such night terrors at least you were with him and he didn't wake. Bless! sounds like he is sleeping so well for such a young one...hugs x x

Yasmina- Eloise is amazing if she's on the potty already at such a young age. | am sure that pooping in her nappy was only as Bev said a phase. you are such a good mum and she is such a happy bonny wee gal... enjoy! x x

bev- good to hear from you...How is the 'Chubster'? 16wks eh!!! time sure flies. How many clothes has he outgrown now?

anna thinking of you and Matthew...Hope you are both doing well?

Geko and Ali how are you girls today? thinking of you both.

Kat how are you??? still slimming???

And how is everyone else????

I have eventually seen my new GP. I recently changed doctor practices due to a house move...and luckily i chose a GP who has been through IVF ( 4 years ago) in London and has 3 year old twins!!!! how lucky was that!!! She couldn't believe that my egg reserve was so low at my age??? But i told her i had every Faith in my last consultant and tmt resulting in being told only 3 % chance of ivf with my own eggs working. She said i could get a 2nd opinion. But after all the counselling i have been through i feel that i would rather go with donor eggs at a 40-60% chance of pregnancy than a 3% chance with my own eggs. I couldn't bear the stress of stimming again for only a few (5) follies and a couple of eggs. Will need to talk it through with Dh tonight. The GP has helped though... i will get all my bloods done on the NHS next week whch means that the results will come back within 2wks, then we can amke an appointment for IM in Barcelona....Yipeee...hope to go through tmt early Aug so will be testing Sept...Feel like a year after last BFN i have excitement and hope again.

love jen
xxxxx

[jen babes]

Hi all

have edited this post as the last one went on twice>>>>don't know why??

love jen
xxxxx

[sunseeker]

Geckogirl - so sorry to see your news of BFN this morning - I know what you are going through but you sound like you are being positive and looking forward which is great. Good luck with whatever you decide.
Jen - great news that you have found such a great GP - it was obviously meant to be, keep up the PMA, August will be here in no time!
I am focusing on our appointment next week now, I have been in bed all morning with really bad AF cramps but the pain killers have kicked in now. Hopefully the specialist will have some answers for us next week and we can move forward and decide on a date to try again. It's weird really because last year when we received our first BFN I couldn't even think about doing anything again but this time it's kind of whats keeping me going. Wish we had more than 2 little embies on ice but I guess it only takes one right?!
Take care everyone and have a great weekend
Love Ali xx

[teachertam]

Jen: Thanks for the compliment! You will be cycling before you know it!!

Ali: I'm so glad to hear that you are in good spirits and looking forward to the next cycle. DH and I were only going to do 1 IVF, but after that failed, we changed our minds and decided to do another one. It does help to look forward to the next treatment.

Bev, Yasmina, Anna: Have any of you thought about a 2nd child? I must be nuts, but the thought has crossed my mind. DH and I talked about it the other night. We have not decided anything yet, as we are still in the talking phase. DH is more inclined to try for no. 2 instead of adopting, as he is afraid that there could be bonding issues with an adopted child.

Kat: I hope all is well with you.

Hello to Geckogirl, Sonia, and anyone else that I may have missed.

Regards,
Tammy

[Kat]

Hi all

Geckogirl - sorry to see your news but as everyone has said, you seem to be taking it well and thinking forwards which is always best.

I am doing OK, my friend who is pg is on holiday (on a yacht in the Caribbean - very nice for morning sickness ha ha! ) This means I don't have to see her everyday which is better for me. Then when she gets back it's only 2 weeks 'til I go away. It does worry me though that when she starts to show and when everyone knows and talks about it then I will want to scream/cry/kill someone most days.

A few of you asked about me re tmt - we have 3 frosties from our last DE cycle. We can't use them 'til Sept/Oct because the law requires the donor be retested for HIV 6 months after donating. Part of me thinks we should leave it and just forget the whole thing and just get on with our lives, part of me thinks we should just use them up because they're not going to work anyway and the other part of me thinks we should use them because they might work. Not sure which part is winning right now.
I know you mummies will say absolutely no choice, go with the frosties but what about you girls who are still trying - do you ever have doubts about the whole thing?

Yes, I am still slimming - back into a size 12 jeans now (US size 8 ) which I haven't been in for years! Hurrah!

Kat xx

[sunseeker]

Hi Kat
I know exactly how you feel about your friend at work who is pregnant but you kind of get used to it. We have just been out to lunch with our friends, one of whom is 5 months pregnant (it was an accident!) and we bumped into another friend who is also 5 months pregnant - it was the first time I had seen her since she announced she is pregnant and it was a bit tough with them both sat next to me, I'm not looking forward to August/September this year. It sounds so horrible doesn't it - you try not to be bitter but sometimes the IVF demon gets the better of you
Where are you going on holiday?
I don't really understand why you would have to wait until Sept to try again, surely if the donor was tested at the time what could have changed since?
You are in the same situation as us and it is really hard to know what to do, we have 2 embies in the freezer and I am focusing on this at the moment but realistically it's our last hope as can't really afford to keep going. It's really scarey thinking what if it doesn't work but you have to give your 3 little embies a go - otherwise you'll always wonder what would have happenned. Have they given you any reasons why it didn't work last time?
Be strong and don't worry about having doubts about what to do for the best, we wouldn't be normal if we didn't, it's such a weird thing that we are all putting ourselves through and no-one else understands unless they have actually experienced it.
Take care, get DH to give you a big hug!
Love Ali

[Sonix]

Hello everyone.

Ali, good to read that your specialist is wanting to see you so soon. We had no contact with our consultant initially after our last BFN and it took several weeks to get a next appointment. That was a really tough time for me. Hugs and all the best for your appointment. Keep us posted.

GeckoGirl - so sorry to read your sad news. It’s heart-breaking, I know but I’m glad you are able to look forward and have some options open. Good luck with your decisions.

Kat – I can understand your worry about having doubts. It is often so very difficult to know what to do, and so you just keep focusing on the next step and clinging onto that hope as long as you can. When you’re in the process it’s hard to get a real perspective on things and is a very lonely place to be. But you still have your 3 embies and so you need to stay strong and give them a chance. Is there anything else you can do in the meantime to improve chances? What have they said at your clinic? Sending you cyber hugs.

Jen – that’s great news about your GP. What a relief for you to get end up with such a good choice! That will be one less worry for you. I suppose it’s only natural for her to want to make sure you’re really OK about your decision on going the donor egg route. I see you’ve now got a date to focus on too. Does the clinic have a summer break? Good luck with your test results.

To all our new mums – thanks for the updates – I really felt for you about Andrew’s nightmare, Tammy – he is so lucky to have such a loving mum. I do like reading about our little newcomers on this thread and for me it really sounds like they are all making great progress. Anna – hope you, DH and Matthew are doing well, too.

All went very well in Warsaw, we got back yesterday evening. Both the doc and his assistant are hard-working, very professional and really lovely people. DH gave his sperm sample, we went through all our questions and I had a scan, which the doc talked me through, and a mock transfer to check if all is OK. Apart from a very narrow entrance to the uterus, which could make the transfer a bit tricky, the doc was very pleased. They are very strict about all the various tests results being satisfactory before you start treatment, which is a good sign. He confirmed that an increased prolactin level can reduce chances of implantation so I need to get onto my clinic about that and report back. Phew, altogether it was quite an adventurous but very motivating flying visit. Nevertheless, I can’t get too excited yet. We’ll have to wait until my August cycle to start treatment so it’ll be a long summer wait. Just hope everything falls into place when the time comes.

Take care everyone and have a great week.

Love
Sonia
xxx

[teachertam]

Sonia: I'm so glad to hear that things are progressing with your next cycle. It sounds like your clinic is very thorough! August will be here before you know it.

Hello to everyone else.

Take care,
Tammy

[BevT]

Hi everyone, just popping in to catch up before Wills needs feeding.

Sonia, glad all went well in Warsaw. Not long to go until your cycle in August, I'm sure it will be here before you know it.

Kat, well done with the weight loss. I so wish I was a size 12!! Not long to go before your holiday. Hope you've bought some new bikinis for your new super shapely bod!

Tammy, yes, funny you should say about trying for a 2nd baby. It has been very much on my mind this last little while. It is nearly a year since our embryo transfer and our little totsicles are sitting comfortably in the freezer. We have 5 left and I am not sure at all what I want to do. In an ideal world I would really want Wills to have a sibling BUT! I will be 48 in September, this last pregnancy with Wills was not easy, if I end up in hospital again, who will look after Wills. DH has such a busy job and cannot take time off willy nilly. Also, we are reasonably comfortable financially and can afford to give Wills a good start in life, if we went back for another transfer and say ended up with twins, then our resources would be stretched three ways. Not that money is that important, but it is a consideration for us. I am also not sure that I could go through with another pregnancy. Yikes, I don't know what to do. I don't want our embies to just perish, I would really like to use them. I am so torn.

Ali, good luck with your appointment, or has it already been? Hope you will get some answers and a way forward.

Jen, the Chubster is chubbing away. He weighed in at 13lb 1oz last time, so I reckon he has to be approaching 14lb now. He is absolutely gorgeous at the moment, starting to chuckle and gurgle a lot more now. Good to see that your new GP has a sympathetic "ear". You can do with her support in the months to come. August will be here before you know it and you will be on your way to Barcelona.

Hi to Yasmina, Anna and all our other lovely over 40's.

Bev xxx

[teachertam]

Good morning ladies:

Bev: I don't know if I could go through another pregnancy either. Although, I would like to have a siblling for Andrew. We have 4 frozen eggs (not embies) in the freezer. I won't feel bad about not using them, as they are not embies. You can donate your embies if you are not going to use them. That might be a tough decision too. I'm glad to hear that Wills is doing so well!

DH, Andrew and I are going to a Memorial Day cook out at my grandparents house. It is a 2 hour drive, so I hope Andrew is a good boy.

Kat: I have been trying to lose weight too, but have not been as successful as you. I need to lose 2 more lbs to get to pre-pregnancy weight, but I want to lose an add'l 15 lbs. My stomach is flabby and I need to get it to tighten!

Hello Jen, Sonia, Ali, Geckogirl, Anna, Yasmina and all others.

Regards,
Tammy

[AMck]

Hi Ladies, hope everyone Ok. I have been reading the posts over the past few days but haven't had a chance to post any replies. I don't know where the days go.

Bev, interesting your thoughts about a 2nd child. We don't have any frosties, we would need to start over. I don't think I could put myself through everything again. I think we''ll stick with the one beautiful boy we have!

Tammy, good to hear all is going well with you. Hope you had a good time at the cook out. No such luck here, the weather is appalling, dull, damp and still raining... yuk.

Kat, well done with the weight loss. What's your secret? I went to weightwatchers a couple of years ago and that seemed to do the trick, but it is soooo much effort, I don't think I have the energy just now to count points etc.. Are you planning to cycle again in September? A hard decision, we are all here for you xx

Sonia, good to see things are moving forward for you and you had such a positive trip. The weeks will fly by, it will be August before you know it. Good luck.xx

Geckogirl, sorry to see your BFN. Sending you hugs xx

Ali, wishing you good luck with your next cycle. Hang in there! You are right, it only takes ONE! Keep the faith x

As for us, all is well. Matthew is going longer between feeds and is now much more responsive, smiling and gurgling. Nappy changing is getting tricky as he wriggles about so much. He continues to amaze and delight us. We have had lots of visitors this weekend and Matthew has behaved beautifully. Off to lunch with antenatal group tomorrow, we have all had our babies now so it will be good to catch up with everyone.

Sending hugs to Jen, Yasmina and all lovely ladies here
take care
Anna x