Trying for number 2

[teachertam]

Hello Ladies:

I gave birth to my first child 2/28/07 and have been thinking about a brother or sister for my Andrew. We have been waiting to adopt internationally but my DH would prefer to try for another biological child. I have 4 frozen eggs left over from my 2nd IVF. If we do try for another child I'm not sure if I should try to naturally conceive (as Andrew was conceived that way) or if I should use the frozen eggs that are 1 year younger than my eggs are now. If I were not 43 this would not be a concern. I would like to space out this 2nd try, since Andrew is not quite 3 months old, but if I wait too long, the natural pregnancy may not be possible. I don't know which way to proceed. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Regards,
Tammy

[Vickyp]

Hi Tammy

I think I would probably be inclined to try naturally for a few months and then use my frozen embryo's. Ollie was a frozen embryo - so it does work! I have to say if it were me I would want to start trying again as soon as possible - although I know it's hard work to begin with having two young children - my sister (who is ridiculously fertile) found she was pregnant four months after giving birth to her second child(and is now pregnant with her fourth!!) . I suppose in an ideal world it would be nice to space them out but I am always worried that if I wait it may not happen.
You have a real chance of getting pregnant naturally which is so fantastic you could always start trying naturally when Andrew is 4 or 5 months and if it doesn't happen after 6 months use the frozen embryo's before trying for adoption. We have also decided that if we can't have another baby ourselves we will adopt.
Right I had best get on with some work. Take care. Vicky

[teachertam]

Vicky: Thanks for you thoughts! I probably should see my OB/GYN and get her thoughts on the process. If we would start trying in a couple of months and were sucessful, Andrew would be 13 + months old at delivery. At least he would be walking and I would not have to carry two babies around. I also worry that he would not get as much attention, if we had another baby.

Regards,
Tammy

[Vickyp]

Hi all

I have just had my HSG to see my womb is fit for second go - but now have to wait for a month just to get results as the hospital is so busy (that's as a private patient as well!!) - Oh well. How is everyone else doing? Vicky

[Luluxbx]

Hi Everyone

Thought I would post an update as I have not been on for a while. Been a very stressful time as we bought a new house at the start of treatment and are currently trying to sell our flat!

Anyway, I had my FET on 24th May. All 6 of my embryos had to be thawed to get 2 that were suitable for replacement. I felt quite disappointed with that, but I guess 1 is all it takes!

I have had some bleeding yesterday and today, not much, light spotting really. We had a down reg cycle so I should not hav a period. I had implantation bleeding last time, so I am hoping that is what it is this time as well. I am testing on Friday 8th June (if I hold out that long, should be able to home test on Tuesday!).

Fingers crossed. x

Good luck to everyone. I had forgotten how tough all this is!

[Mel_P]

Hi Everyone,

Hope your all good. Well I have my inital appointment with my specialist on Wednesday, just to see what time lines for the FET (I have 4 poorer grade embryos left.) Hmm, it is funny to be thinking about it again. Such a mix of emotions ... remembering how life and I used to be (i.e - a complete mess!) but all the amazing joy remembering the pregnancy result and all of the good things too!

Anyway before I ramble, I have some questions which would be great to hear back on before I have my appointment.

Vicki - you say that you had to wait a year because of your c-section and breast feeding? Can you tell me more? Is the year a recommended wait after a c-section and is a HSG routine in UK to check for scarring? I had a c-section too, before which I made a point of asking my specialist if it could impair my chances of another pregnancy and he said there was no way it would impair my chances. But now am thinking did he tell me everything? And is a year a standard wait? I am breast feeding also, but have had the AF since bubba was 6 weeks (thanks!) even though I exclusively breast feed with no bottles or dummies. So do I need to stop breastfeeding also? Good luck with the result also. Oh the joys of waiting huh. They must do it to start getting you into the right psychological frame of mind - and introducing some lovely waiting time. Ahh we rememebr the 2ww well! Am really glad I re read your post before seeing my oby-gyn now so I can get this all checked out here.

Lulu ... all the very very best of luck to you! Keep us posted! Does if feel any different the second time around?

Teacher Tam -Whilst for myself I would be inclined to not wait too long, (you could always be trying naturally whilst you plan to get the FET process started in a few months time) - I guess its the case that every woman / mother is going to be totally different in the mental space she is in, so good luck with the decision that you make thats right for you

[teachertam]

Mel P,

Thanks for the feedback. I have not yet started my AF and Andrew is 3 months 1 week old. Do you know what is typical, as I am breastfeeding Andrew also. I don't know when I will get it. DH and I have been talking about another child a lot these days. We are also considering the international adoption route, as we are currently in the wait for an adoption for China. DH is happy with one child (of course he has another child from his first marriage), but I would love to have a sibling for Andrew to grow up with. I love Andrew so much and can't imagine loving another baby as much. I'm sure this would change if we were to give birth again or adopt.

Regards,
Tammy

[Mel_P]

Teacher Tam
What an adorable photo! He must be a real treasure. I was suprised how early I started thinking about it too, Maia was only about 6 weeks old when I started thinking about antoerh baby! I guess the situations we find ourselves in, knowing what we need to go through for another child, makes it probably inevitable to think about it sooner, no one else in my ante natal group is even considering trying again yet. I think close siblings are a blessing though, my sister is only a year younger than me and we are the very best of friends. I know what you mean about so much love for one little person, it doesnt seem possible to be able to have that all over for someone else or to share it, or take any of it away to give to another baby. We both adore her so much though, I feel theres so much love to be had for another child too.

I heard that the AF comes back anytime after 6 weeks (like it did for me), but can stay away for some woman right up until they stop breast feeding.

Are there reasons that you would consider adoption before trying again for your own biological child (natrually or through FET?). Theres lots to think about isnt there. In the meantime I think we are blessed with having our little bubbas to keep us grounded!

All the best with decisions
M

[teachertam]

Mel P:

Thank you! We think he is adorable too. He is a real joy. I can't imagine life without the little guy. Ideally I would like to wait 1 year before trying again for number 2............but I just turned 43 and time is not on my side. I have two sisters and we are all very close. I really want Andrew to have that special bond too. The reason that I've been considering adoption is that we had already begun the process before we were blessed with Andrew. Sometimes I feel that we were destined to adopt as well, since I did not become pregnant until after we had turned our adoption dossier into China. With adoption, there is no pregnancy which would be nice. I am a planner and this sometimes drives DH nuts, as I want to decide what to do now. Do we try for number 2 naturally or with my frozen eggs, or do we adopt, or status quo?

Take care,
Tammy

[Mel_P]

Teacher tam - Hee hee, planning driving DH nuts made me chuckle. Think I must be the same as I made a point of not mentionning how much I had been thinking or planning until time was right, and then just dropped it into conversation very casually.

Had our appointment today and looks like the FET will be straight forward (am still getting used to fact that specialist confirmed there are NO WAIT LIST! After the hamster wheel we were on to conceive our bubba Maia, thats a weird thing to hear). Pretty much just have to stop breastfeeding and all systems are go.

I feel torn about the breast feeding, more than I thought I would, really dont feel ready to give this up, but already have a bee in my bonnet that we should start trying before am back at work where I will have to handle the stress of return to work with potential IVF if transfer fails etc etc.

Wow I just registered from your profile that you had a natural pregnancy after all the IVF attempts! Thats fantastic, what a little miracle! Does make you wonder what can happen!

Hope things otherwise going well for you others (vicki, lulu etc)

mel

[Vickyp]

Hi all

Lulu - I am willing you to be pregnant at this very minute. How are you feeling - have you done a sneaky HPT? Don't worry about a bit of bleeding - I bled till I was 12 weeks - so could easily be nothing. Anyway and I am thinking about you and wishing loads of luck for Friday.

Mel - I was told to wait a year after c section by the hospital where I delivered - I think this is quite standard in UK. In terms of thet HSG - I don't know whether this is standard - the hospital I am at are very thorough and said that although it was unlikely that I would have scarring from C-Section they would rather make sure that it was all okay as it makes a big difference to the success rates of implantation. I am doing a FET so they feel that rather than take the chance of wasting them it is best to make absolutely sure first.
I asked them about breast feeding and they said that I might as well wait till 3 months after stopping breast feeding before trying but I got the impression that it would probably take that amount of time anyway to have HSG etc rather than that it was necessary as I had started my period and they were V. regular.
It's crazy isn't it how you completely block out of your mind how traumatic the whole thing was once you get pregnant. I already feel quite stressed out and I've only had an HSG - I couldn't believe it when they said I'd have to wait a month for the results!! Oh well - as you say it's good practice!

Tammy - Hi - I have to agree with Mel - What a lovely picture. He has Such a sweet face. It is perfectly normal for your period not to have started - ine didn't start till Ollie was 8 months - I think it's completely different for everyone.

Right I must get back to work (to pay for next go!!). Love Vicky

[teachertam]

Hello Ladies:

Mel and Vicky: Thanks for the compliments on my little sweet pea. He is so precious.

Vicky: I had the HSG before getting pregnant naturally with Andrew. I think if we were to use our frozen eggs that I would want to have another one. It can only help.

Mel: I agree with you about breast feeding. I want to keep breast feeding until at least 6-9 months. I did have a natural pregnancy after 2 failed IUI's and 2 failed IVF's. I wonder if the HSG had anything to do with our positive. It is supposed to increase your chances of becoming pregnant for 1-2 cycles afterwards. I do wonder if we could get pregnant again naturally. Of course then I think, that my eggs are 1 year older.

Take care all,
Tammy

[Vickyp]

Hi everyone

Well I have finally had the results if my HSG - which were fine and then started injecting (buserelin) 2 days later - so a bit if a rush - don't feel nearly as pure and healthy as I did last time but fingers crossed. I have 4 frozen embies so I am really hoping we get 2 to put back but am being realistic about it. I am so far actually enjoying doing it all again -I'm sure that will change! Still this cycle only takes about 4 weeks so not long at all. I am stupidly concerned that the week that I estimate the transfer to be I have a big work meeting - which sounds crazy but I am a really terrible liar so I really hope it doesn't fall on the same day - Oh well. I hope your all well, Love Vicky

[Vickyp]

Well amazingly after taking Buserelin for 10 days I found out yesterday that I am pregnant naturally - I absolutely can't believe it and am fully expecting it to be ectopic as I have blocked tubes - so how could this happen!
I called the hospital after taking two HPT's and they said to come in for a blood test and that was also positive and got 137 on the numbers. Anyway now have a scan in two weeks (on my birthday no less! - not sure if that's good or bad) to see whether it is in the right place etc. The hospital don't seem worried about that or the buserelin - so I'll just have to wait and see. Vicky

[DeniseM]

Hey, do you guys mind if I join in here? I have twins, and I'm ready to start trying for our third and final child. My twins are IUI miracles and DH and I are unexplained infertility, so for now I'm not seeking tmt, but not preventing.

I just finished weaning my two, and still have not had AF... any idea how long this might take?

Also, congrats Vicky on a natural pg, that's awesome.