Going through M/C please help!

[WISCONSINGAL]

HELLO: THERE IS NO WAY TO ASK......CAUSE I'M SURE THIS IS GOING TO BRING UP SAD FEELINGS......BUT IF ANYONE IS WILLING TO TALK, I'D APPRECIATE IT. I WAS 11 WEEKS PREGNANT AND WE'VE LOST THE HEARTBEAT. I'M IN TOTAL SHOCK AND DISBELIEF OF THIS, BUT MY DR. HAS CALLED TWICE NOW AND SUGGESTED I DO A D&C ........IF YOU'VE HAD THIS DONE......CAN YOU DESCRIBE WHAT TAKES PLACE? OR DID YOU HAVE THE "NATURAL" BODY FUNCTION OCCUR? IS THERE A BETTER OR WORSE WAY TO HAVE THIS HAPPEN? IT'S LIKE I CAN'T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT NOW, AND I'M BEING ASKED TO MAKE THIS DECISION.

[kandice]

i'm so sorry wisconsingirl! my thoughts and prayers are definitely with you and DH right now to get through this!

[IL34]

I completely understand what you are going through and I am sorry for your loss. I just had a D&C this past Thursday. My Dr. recommended it as well. We lost the heartbeat at 8.5weeks. Your body can naturally take care of it, but the DR. said that it is painful and messy. I thought the last thing I wanted is to m/c while I was at work. The procedure takes about 10 minutes. The prepping for the procedure takes about an hour. It's an outpatient surgery and it is not painful. You will bleed for about a week I was told. It's like having a full blown period, but no cramps. Physically it is not bad at all, but needless to say emotionally it is hard.

Hope that helps.

[WendyW]

Dear Wisconsingal,

I'm so very very sorry that you are going through this, I know exactly how you must be feeling as the same thing happened to me last year. I found out at my 12 week scan that my baby had no heartbeat and had died at around 8.5 weeks. In my naieveity (spelling?) I didn't even know there was such a thing as a missed miscarriage, so it came as a total shock (although looking back there were signs, such as I stopped feeling sick around the 9 week point). Anyway, I was given three options as follows - 1) to let nature take its course and expel the pregnancy naturally, 2) to take tablets to induce contractions to expel the pregnancy or 3) to opt for an ERPC (similar to D&C). The midwife I saw suggested that I opt for the tablets as she felt it would be more 'natural' than the operation (the first option wasn't really an option for me as it didn't look as though this would happen).

I took the midwife's advice and opted for the tablets but had a terrible experience at the hospital and found out 3 weeks later (after numerous blood tests and finally another scan) that they hadn't worked and the baby was still in my womb (only happens in a very small number of cases)! At this point I decided to go for the ERPC as there was no way the pregnancy was going to expel naturally. I have to say in my experience the operation was nowhere near as bad as my experience with the tablets. It was quick, I was under general anesthetic during the procedure and experienced only mild pain afterwards, plus my body returned to it's natural cycle almost immediately.

Obviously this is only my opinion and I can only share my experience (I'm sure other women could offer you a more positive experience of the other two options). But remember that ultimately it is your decision, don't feel pressured to make a decision straight away and make sure you ask lots of questions (such as side effects, complications, long-term effects etc) before you decide what to do.

It is a really horrible decision to have to make at such a traumatic time. I can also add that in my experience the emotional pain you are suffering doesn't go away entirely, but it does get easier day by day, and I finally feel able to undergo treatment again.

Praying that you will find the strength to make the decision that is right for YOU.

Love
Wendy xx

[WISCONSINGAL]

I WANT TO SAY I'M ALSO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSSES.....AND I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR TAKING TIME TO RESPOND!

[lori]

I am so sorry for your loss - I was praying that it would be fine for you. I have been through 2 myself and it is always heartbreaking and devasting. I've had a D&C both times for the main purpose of testing the fetal tissue so we could determine the reason for the m/c. My last one, both babies had abnormal chromosones. It did give me some closure knowing why and then I knew it was nothing that I had done. I would have preferred to do "natural" m/c last time, but I ultimately decided with my infertility issues that getting the results was important. I did take about a week to decide (even though my doctor was telling me to do it ASAP), so you can take time to figure out what you want to do). The D&C is a pretty easy procedure and I bled for about 2 weeks afterwards. Then it can take 4-6 weeks to get your a/f.

Also, I found that I was severely depressed after my first m/c and I finally ended up seeing a fertility therapist. I wish that I would have seen her sooner than I did. I had so many emotions held up inside (sadness, frustration, anger, etc.) and needed someone to help me sort them out. I still go to her now about once a month. So, don't be afraid to seek out help. It's a crazy time as you are grieving a baby and your hormones are out of wack as well. I also found that taking a few months off was helpful for me before starting up again. Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.

[ogr1]

make sure who ever does it that they dont scrape to much. that can leave scaring. my ivf doc did my d&c with our twins he was very careful. he said it would be better to do the d&c so we could try and get pregnant again sooner and we could send our twins in for testing to see why.
but i do regret doing this cause we never got our twins back .i wish we could have layed them to rest. and we didnt learn anything .

i was put to sleep for the d&c.

[shellawrence]

HI all, just found out this afternoon that my IVF has failed, 8 weeks and no heartbeat. Doc suggested d&c or allow nature to take it's course. The info posted here is very helpful, thank you. I was particularly interested to learn that my baby may not be expelled quickly by my body. Not sure what to do just yet. could someone give me a rundown on all the abbreviations used, particularly after the signatures? I figured a few out, but not most. My thoughts are with you all, you each seem so nice.
7 failed IUI's
1 successful IVF 2004
shell

[HLD]

Thank you all for the info. I have to go in for a D&C tomorrow. We just found out today that our baby died at 10 weeks 1 day (today). We are devastated. I keep hoping it is some mistake and they will tell me tomorrow that there is a heartbeat after all--I'm panicked they won't check in advance to make sure the baby actually isn't alive. My heart goes out to everyone.

[WISCONSINGAL]

IT'S TAKEN ME AWHILE TO COME BACK TO THIS BOARD, BUT I WANTED TO POST A REPLY TO MY OWN QUESTION NOW THAT I'VE GONE THROUGH EVERYTHING.......I HAD MY U/S AND FOUND OUT WE LOST THE BABY ON A MONDAY....AND THEY SCHEDULED MY D&C FOR THURSDAY MORNING. I STARTED TO BLEED TUESDAY NIGHT SO I CALLED THE DR. AND HE SAID LET ME KNOW ON WEDNESDAY HOW YOUR FEELING. SO I CALLED AND HE SAID I THINK YOUR BODY IS STARTING TO TAKE CARE OF THE PROCESS ON YOUR OWN SO IT'S UP TO YOU ABOUT DOING THE D&C......BUT IF I'M ALREADY GOING THROUGH IT, YOU MIGHT WANT TO JUST WAIT. WELL, I FELT LIKE MY WORLD WAS CRASHING DOWN ON ME, AND SINCE I HAD ALREADY STARTED BLEEDING I THOUGHT WHY GO THROUGH THE D&C......BUT MY ADVICE NOW IS, I SHOULD HAVE DONE THE D&C BECAUSE IT TOOK WELL OVER A WEEK FOR THE HEAVY BLEEDING TO STOP AND IT WAS TERRIBLE TO GO THROUGH. I'M NOT SURE HOW HEAVY THE BLEEDING IS AFTER A D&C, BUT I WAS TOLD IT WAS LIKE A NORMAL PERIOD AND THEN IT'S DONE.......I'VE BEEN BLEEDING FOR 2 WEEKS NOW, AND MY HCG LEVEL WAS TESTED AND EVERYTHING LOOKS OK NOW, BUT IT JUST SEEMED LIKE IT TOOK FOREVER TO STOP. NOW THE EMOTIONAL HEALING CAN START.....IT'S BEEN 4 WEEKS SINCE WE FOUND OUT AND I'M STILL SEEING PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T HEAR WE LOST THE BABY AND EXPLAINING WHY ....OR WHAT HAPPENED......I FEEL LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE STILL DEALING WITH THIS TOO BECAUSE IT'S LIKE NO ONE ASKS YOUR DH ABOUT IT THEY ALWAYS JUST COME TO ME AND SAY "HI MOMMY.....HOW YA FEELING?" THEN IT'S SO HARD TO NOT START CRYING WHEN YOUR EXPLAINING.....THIS JUST SUCKS!

I'M SO SORRY FOR EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAD TO POST ON THIS BOARD AND MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU, YOUR DH AND LOST BABIES TOO!

[ltaylor]

WISCONSINGAL-
I’m very sorry to hear about your M/C. I had one in March 07 and I still have breakdowns every now and then. However, with time it does get easier. My DH and I didn’t tell anyone we were going through IVF but when I had the M/C we told everyone and I’m not sure why. I guess I just needed to talk about it. I was bleeding the entire time I was pregnant and when I had the M/C, my body got rid of everything within one to one and a half weeks. My next period started right on time. I am doing a FET in June. I wish you the best of luck and just know that every day will be a little better.

L