11dpt hpt negative today

[stlgirl]

Kerry - How are you doing today? I am worried that we have not heard from you.

Louise/Kerry - You both will be in my thoughts tomorrow. I am crossing fingers and toes for good news for you both!!! My stomach is in knots thinking about it for the two of you.

I got the official word today....a beta of 281! I am still cautiously optimistic and will feel immensely better after I get the next BT results, which won't be until the 18th because of traveling. We told my parents already and will tell my in-laws tonight. They all knew we were going through this, as do some of my friends....so it is hard to not say anything when they ask.

Colleen

[kholtan]

Kerry~
Don't be sorry about a thing dear! This IVF trip is a hard one that only those who have done it can relate to. We are injected left and right with hormones and drugs then asked to be positive while we await our results. It's not easy and no one makes it through the 2ww with total optimism. I was certain it didn't work and almost bitter about the 20K I'd just wrote a check for. It's a crap shoot but we are all here to cheer each other up and encourage one another down this path that our DH's just can't fully relate to. You're on the home stretch now and pretty soon you will know. Meanwhile, we will all be praying for you and hoping your baby makes a new home all cozy and warm. Good luck tomorrow!

Colleen~Congrats on the beta #! That's great news and I'm thrilled for you and DH!

Take care~ Kimberly

[kez01]

Hi everyone,

Sorry Colleen I didnt post yesterday, I went to my training course at work and it had been cancelled and no one bothered to inform me. I went to see everyone on the ward and they were all wishing me luck for today. We also had a staff meeting last night that I attended, trying to take my mind off things.

Anyway news is not good, BFN today with the hpt from the clinic, I am absolutely devastated, I never slept a wink last night and I feel sick this morning. My sister sent me a message on my phone early this morning to wish me luck and it just made me cry this morning. My husband is being very supportive giving me lots of hugs, I just feel so sad this morning, I really did think it would work this time and feel alittle silly for thinking so.

I am so happy about your beta Colleen, that is really great news, I'm sure everything will go really well for you, you will have to keep us all posted on your progress. I'm sure your absolutely bursting to tell all your friends and family, you should really enjoy it.

Kimberley thanks for your warm message too, they really do help, but I think I am now fighting a losing battle today and think that I have many more tears to come today.

I have to phone my clinic at 10.30 this morning and they will instruct me on what to do about my meds. I'm sure I can stop the progesterone pessaries but I think I'm supposed to come of the oestrodial valerate tablets slowly, but I just want it over now and I think I will probably just go cold turkey, why take meds if I'm not pregnant, atleast then I will hopefully get my AF and my cramps and sore boobs will go away.

Hey Louise how has your test gone today, I'm thinking of you and wish you luck too. Dont forget to let us know how you got on.

Take care everyone
Kerryx
Ps, Sorry again for being so sad

[kholtan]

Kerry~

I am so so sorry for your outcome. There just doesn't seem to be words for how broken I know your heart is right now. I really did think you would be reporting back good news. Take all the time you need to grieve with DH and just know we are all here for you both. May both your hearts heal in Godspeed. Take care of one another and I hope you will find the strength to try again. One day you will make a dear sweet mother for sure.

All my thoughts and prayers,
Kimberly

[stlgirl]

Kerry -

Well that is rotten?!@!! I am so sorry. My husband and I were talking about you and Louise this morning, as we feel connected to how emotional this experience is...and I am saddened to hear the news and your disappointment.

Absolutely do not feel silly for having hope and thinking this was it. Your time will come. You will be a mother. It just not may be in the time frame or in the way that you think it will happen. You and your DH are just so lucky to be in the position to try IVF, as so many people cannot afford to do so. I know you don't feel lucky right now and a good cry is in order.

All my best from the US,

Colleen

[boluwa2008]

Kerry,

I am so sorry for your outcome.
This is my first time posting in this site, I 've been reading everyones reply to your mail since Wed, I am going through the same thing as you. So I've been using your replies and your mail to keep my mind straight and not go insane. I am so glad I found this site, reading everyones mail has give me more hope than anything. I had my transfer last week on 5/31 my blood test was today 6/8, but I am away on bussines, so I would have to wait until sunday to for BT.
I have however, started testing since monday with HPT and it has been all negative.

I thought it would positive this time around, since this is my fouth time around. I spotted a little bit on last friday and I thought that was the implantation and I been feeling a little sick and little metallic taste in my mouth, I gues it is all in my head.

Anyways I want stop taking my estrace and progestone, but I think I have to wait until the blood test on sunday. I just want to move on already.

Titi
Kerry, my thoughts are with you.

[Luluxbx]

Hi Ladies

Kerry, I am so sorry to hear things didn't work out for you this time. You and your husband need to take some time to come to terms with how this cycle went, before you plan what to do next. I sincerely hope, one day things will work out for you. Don't for one minute feel you are not entitled to feel very very sorry for yourself, IVF is such an emotional rollercoaster.

We also had a negative result today. To be honest I wasnt surprised, as I have been preparing myself for it all week . I have been in tears off and on all day. It didnt help that one of my student chose today to tell me she is pg and wants to have a termination.

Our situation is very different to yours as we have one child, an amazing little boy. I still feel sad today though as I really would like to be able to give him a brother or sister, but feel for us this may be the end of our IVF journey. I don't think I could put myself through all this again. We have had our success and are very happy with what we have.

Fertility or infertility never leaves you. I found myself feeling angry with myself for being upset that I didnt feel entitled to feel upset. People react differently to you second time round, almost like its not as valid to be upset as you already have a child. The lack of control over your life is what I have always struggled with. I had a health check with my boy today and the HV said to me at the end of the appt, we need to have another one now as we have done such a good job. I just told her the truth that she couldnt have picked a worse day to tell me that!

Anyway, I am going on a bit.

Congrats again to Coleen! Proof all this treatment can pay off if you keep going!

I am off to have a very large glass of wine...

[stlgirl]

Louise - Ugh, I am sorry to hear your about the BFN. You were so very kind to support Kerry before you even shared your news. This is such an emotional journey and the journey is just so different for each of us. It is a shame that people tell you not to be upset because you already have a child. Just because you have been blessed once, does not lessen your desire and hopes to have another.

Throughout this whole experience, I just shake my head as to how infertility is a topic that you never prepare yourself for as you grow up and one that is not openly discussed....outside of this forum that is. You seem to be in relatively good spirits. Enjoy the glass of wine or three tonight. You deserve it.

My thoughts,

Colleen

[kez01]

Hi everyone,

Louise, I'm so sorry you got a BFN and your right, I have heard people saying that to friends of mine who have struggled to get a second child and I do think it is very unfair to do that. I feel really sad for you and your husband, I know how hard it is and what you are going through at the moment, it really stinks doesn't it. That's typical for the HV to say that on all the days you wish the world would just swallow you up. I understand how you feel having a student talk to you about a termination, I work on a gynae ward and we have ladies in all the time having terminations, sometimes it is really hard, but I just try to shut off certain feelings and it helps me get through the day, afterall they do need support too. I hope you enjoyed your wine last night and we will be thinking of you.

Titi, thanks for your kind words and I wish you all the very best with your treatment, you are right that this site is very good for keeping you from cracking up. I totally appreciate everyone on this site, they have kept me going.

Kimberley, thankyou for your lovely post, it made me cry some more, but in a good way that you all care so much. I have got a headache today I think from all the stress of it all, so i'm trying to enjoy the nice weather we are having and relax before I have to go back to work on monday. I have got 7 nights to look forward to and then I will be off for my summer holidays, camping in wales and I can't wait.

Take care everyone,
Kerry x

[kez01]

Hi Colleen,

thankyou so much for you post, your words of comfort really do mean alot. I hope you and your husband are enjoying the first few weeks of pregnancy, all the excitement. I bet you are so excited for you ultrasound, I'll be thinking of you in the next few weeks and I hope you dont get bad morning sickness.

Take care and thinking of you
Kerry x