DH age 53 - I am 33...1st attempt IVF/ICSI

Discussion forum for those particularly interested in IVF and embryo transfer including frozen embryo transfer.
ceiba
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Post by ceiba »

Wow, kellym, you have so much patience and optimism and determination. You've been through so much already and you are ready to keep on going! You are an inspiration to me, and we're just at the beginning of our ICSI journey. I hope I come through it with as much grace as you have! Here's wishing you all the very best for your upcoming tests, and I'll be thinking of you!

uncle1, how was your sperm extraction? I was so glad that my husband posted because there is so little information and support out there on male factor infertility compared to female factor, and I'm glad that we can help others in the same situation. Hope you're recovering well- it will get easier day by day!
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ICSI GIRL
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Post by ICSI GIRL »

can i just say that after reading your posts about the sperm extraction process that i am SO glad this is something my dh didn't have to endure!! oh he is SUCH a baby when it comes to "the boys"..... which is the very reason he never had the snip-snip job done to begin with! honestly - how many 53 year old men do you know that have not had vasectomy??? cuz i don't know too many - that's for sure!! ha, ha, ha

uncle -- hope all went well..........hoping only reason you haven't posted is cuz you're whooping it up somewhere!!! :lol:

kellym: i agree w/ ceiba --- WOW on your grace.....and determination.... and overall PMA........just can't say how i will feel if i get BFN :cry: very sad of course -- but am seriously hoping i can maintain PMA..... YOU GO GIRL :lol:
:-) Angie
johndt
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DH Issues

Post by johndt »

Saw a couple of posts from 'DH' regarding their experience and thought I would join in. hope you don't mind

The 'DH age 53' brought me to this section as I am 53 and my wife is 42, Our problems are down to me. Vasectomy 15 years ago failed reversal 2+ years ago.

We went through our first IVF cycle in Turkey last year with TESA, had two embro's implanted at blast stage, 1 'ok' 1 borderline, failed around day 7 after implant (Only two survived to blast so nothing frozen)

We were devastated of course, my wife especially as she blamed herself, "I flew back too early", "I shouldn't have gone out in the sun", "I went up stairs" etc etc. it took months to get over it and I felt so helpless and of course so guilty that it was me who was at fault

(I was fine after surgery, walked back to the hotel, (2km) flew back next day due to work and apart from a couple of bruises all pretty bearable)

We decided to try again here in Qatar and we are currently day 3 of the 2ww, 3 x 3 day implants apparently good quality, (this time we have another 4 good quality frozen too which is a huge improvement on last time)

My wife is still feeling 'bloated' and has some cramping but is resting as much as possible and tells me she is 'ok'

For my part this has been a totally different story, they tried local and TESA but this was unsuccessful, was pretty painful and I was glad when it was over. They knocked me out and then extracted through an incision, they obviously retrieved sufficient to give us the 7 good quality embryo's so thats the great part. The Doc told me to wear shorts pre-op so I had my newly purchased with me, big mistake! the guy who advised the jocks was dead right as they have been the only thing that takes the pressure off. I have two wacking bruises from the TESA and a 20mm wound which is stitched, bled for three days but due to work couldn't rest so guess that hasn't helped. I am now day 5 after op and pain is bearable taking antibiotics and analgesic so trying not to complain

I know I am not suffering half as much as my wife is, or will be, but just thought I would pitch in with my experience, us men can be real babies sometimes!

Anyway, love, luck and prayers to everyone who is on this rollercoaster of emotion!!
ICSI GIRL
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Post by ICSI GIRL »

johndt: YEAH for you being such an incredibly supportive dh!!! and before i forget --- GOOD LUCK ON YOUR 2WW ----- it is your time for BFP for sure :lol:

Sounds like you've both endured quite a bit up to this point -- both emotionally and physically.........and from my very limited experience up to this point --- i can surely attest to the emotionally draining part...... can be very difficult, but it sounds as if you guys are very strong and being able to rely on that strength in one another is an absolute god-send!!!

So take it easy........hope the "boys" are feeling better soon!! :D And you should tell your wife about this forum and all of the amazing support out here!!!! There's another thread over on the General Forum called "2 week wait" where everybody is doing just that and sharing their experiences along the way........would be a great way for your wife to pass some time!!!

MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE WITH A BFP THIS TIME!!! :!: :!: Keep in touch if you like......i'll be here :wink:
:-) Angie
johndt
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Thanks for your support:-)

Post by johndt »

Thank you for your kind words, kind thoughts and sharing your feelings, I hope all your dreams come true

The forum is a great source of info for me but I have discovered that Terana was here after our BFN in October and at the moment wants to stay away

Will keep you posted though

btw, boys are improving:-)
uncleI
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Got a MESA - now on to ET!

Post by uncleI »

Since I asked about the pain associated with sperm retrieval, I thought it would be a good idea to relay my personal experience. As a work around for my CBAVD I got a MESA (Micro-Epididymal Sperm Aspiration) last Monday. It has been about a week since the surgery. All went well, as they extracted 17 vials of sperm. As the doc said, "Enough to last a life time". :D

I was a little nauseous after recovery from the general anesthesia otherwise was surprised by the lack of pain. It sure looks a lot worse than it feels. I was given a prescription for some narcotics and only took one the first night. When I got up the next morning I didn't feel hardly any pain, so I decided to forgo the pain killers.

I definitely echo the comments about support - a jock strap is a must. Otherwise the most discomfort has been from general bruising and tenderness nothing I'd describe as a sharp pain at all. Now a week later, there is just some bruising and not much discomfort – though I did forgo the sports league I’m on this past Friday to avoid stressing the area.

My wife is now on BC getting ready to start her first IVF cycle. We are quite excited; as all indications are that our infertility is 100% a male factor issue. So much so, our doctors only want us to implant a single embryo – god willing that we get that far! Does anyone else have a doc that only wants to implant a single embryo? The wife is in good health and under 35, which is why they are trying to push us to only use one egg....

I'd also like to extend a big thanks to all the fellow DHs who responded to my initial querry.
johndt
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To uncle1

Post by johndt »

I am sure the doc wouldn't suggest it if he thought there was a low chance of success with only one, so best wishes and all the luck in the world to you both

btw, I am fine now, (8th day) just the bruising and irritation from
a) the dissolving stitches, which seem to catch and
b) the returning hair, which I find hard not to scratch, especially in public lol

My wife is half way through the 2ww, which should be re-named the 2wt, the t standing for torture, you could add helplessness certainly from a mans point of view.

I am being kept busy with the errands and of course the housework but as has been said already, small price to pay ( I still look forward to Sundays and Wednesdays though when we have a maid come in, one of the benefits of Middle East ex-pat living!)

Thoughts and Prayers to all, have a great day
ICSI GIRL
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Post by ICSI GIRL »

johndt: you're an ex-pat eh???? yes, depending on where you are - there are definately some perks!! while i personally haven't worked internationally --- i work for a company that has MANY ex-pats and i work very closely w/ some of them and they've shared their stories, including ones about having maids/butlers!! (especially in the middle east)

is funny when you wrote they should call it the 2wt --- before i even finished reading i knew EXACTLY what you intended the "t" for --- LOL!!! I'm not at that point yet.........as i said before -- GOOD LUCK TO YOU BOTH -- am so hoping this is YOUR TIME!!!!!

Let us know how things go......the big wait has be gettting pretty close!

(p.s. - good to hear the boys are doing well :lol: )

uncle: SO GOOD TO HEAR your experience has been so "pleasant" :lol: no really, i was happy to read that you're not in excruciating pain!! once your wife starts her shots -- time will pass very quickly --- like you're on the "down" part of the roller coaster...... so GOOD LUCK TO YOU GUYS AS YOU START YOUR JOURNEY!! :wink:
:-) Angie
uncleI
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Post by uncleI »

Thanks johndt and ICSI GIRL for the well wishes. Best of luck to the both of you!
shantala
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Post by shantala »

hi everyone

i posted a couple of times on here at the beginning of this thread as we're also in an age gap situation with severe low sperm count and morphology etc. not due to a vasectomy though.

just wanted to say how good it is to read DHs coming on here and supporting each other. its so hard for you all, men dont generally talk about their feelings much and often put on a brave face for us. you're all so sweet and you deserve as much support from each other as we do. so keep it up!!

and anyway, very glad you all survived the TESA, MESA, etc. it sounds VERY uncomfortable and painful and i admire you as much for going through that as you admire us for injecting, etc.

best of luck all, keep us posted!!

ICSI girl - didnt see your post back to me. anyway, have pm'ed you back. good luck for tomorrow!!

xxx
2nd IVF/ICSI - baby girl Elliana born 21.4.08 weighing 7lb 6.5ounces; 7 frosties left...
[img]http://dl3.glitter-graphics.net/pub/471/471593nd9346hthf.gif[/img] to all!
[img]http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/lamlamavi20080421_-1_Elliana+is.png[/img]
ceiba
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Post by ceiba »

johndt, my DH had the same experince after his TESA with the dissolving stitches! But he's now two and a half months past the surgery and doing fine. Everything is healed up and and the swelling is down. He's still a little extra tender down there, but other than that he's mostly back to normal. He's even wearing regular underwear- still briefs, but at least he's been off the jock strap for quite a while now. So hang in there, it will get better!

uncleI, my DH said you got off easy with the MESA. Congrats on those 17 vials! We only got 6 from my DH, and the embryologist even suggested we think about donor sperm at first. But then they did a test thaw of one vial and everything came out perfectly, so luckily we don't have to face that just yet. And they will but 2 embryos in me, since I am also under 35 and healthy. Anyway, you will be all set for your first IVF.

Thanks to you all for posting, since as you've said it's hard to find male experiences. And best wishes to everyone for happy endings to those 2wt!
me: 34, husband: 40
male factor infertility
8/07 1st IVF w/ICSI
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