DONOR EGG Tmt Thread... " Egg-heads"

[CarolynB]

Jen1d - babe I sent you an e-mail to let you know about this thread as know that one of your friends had been reading on the board and just was not sure if you were afraid of her seeing too much. Would love to have you here - you know that. Just need to get Gill on here now too! Add yourself to the list.

I know that JB and I know your story but would be good to write it down so the other ladies know about what you have been through too

Rebecca - welcome. Of course you can join us. I can relate so well to the lots of eggs (so think that it will work) but not really any good (totally gutting). So the having lots of eggs makes no difference at all to the end result. Somehow makes the rollercoaster feel even more extreme as people tell you with lots of eggs that it will work. What a wonderful thing that your sister is doing for you. Does she have children already? Have you got any idea yet how she is doing on the stimmies and so how many might be collected on Monday? Wishing you & her all the luck in the world for Monday. Looks like you'll be our leading lady. I have a good friend who is going through ivf with eggs from her sister. She is just due to start a cycle now if her AF shows up

Kim - would be great to get your responses on the tough questions when you have chance. So hard to get your head around all this stuff. Feel free to add questions if you can think of others too

JB - How are you today? Beat you onto the thread. At work and have loads to do but struggling to focus yet again

Hi to everyone else. Almost the weekend. Well I am cheating. Have day off tomorrow and dh and I have been invited out with friends to go to the opera in the afternoon/evening. We will get all dressed up and have a picnic so while not totally our scene beats working and is another day towards appointment in Barcelona. Days do seem to be rushing by which is good.

Must do some work if I am not going to be here tomorrow. ARGHHHH

Have a great day. Talk later.

Much love
Carolyn
xxxxxx

[jen babes]

Hi eggheads...

WELCOME REBECCA...
great of you to join...sorry to hear you have been feeling all alone...Now no fear Eggheads are here!!!! Poor you goiing through 20/21 days of stimms ( i was in pain after 14 days you must have been in agony with all those follies) and then to have all those eggs and none fertilise what a loss you must have gone through, so emotionally draining. You and DH must been so heartbroken sweetie...The good news is amazing...what age is your sister? How beatiful ans special tht she is doing this for you guys I am crying tears of joy for you hun x x My sister did offer but she is now 43 and clinic said NO WAY. You are totally blessed x x Hope there are a loads of mature, good quality, batch load of eggies coming your way x xGood luck on Monday Hun hope ET is soon too! Hope you are our 1st BFP here on this thread...we are here for you all through this and especially dreaded 2ww...we can hold your hand. Must be so exciting as will be AT Et so soon x x Much love x x have added you to our list edit or add if you wish x xx x

Kim ( babyblue) - great to here from you.. yeh Broc is a spoilt one. he was in kennels for the 1st time lat week and has been totally rulin the roost since his return. Was put back into the bottom of the pack yesterday tho after his naughtiness and is betteer behaved today Love the big fellow to bits ( he's a Rhodesian ridgeback)...a About meds after your progesterone do you go on E2??? Don't work to hard Hun... x x P.s it's nearly Friday!!!!!

carolyn - Crazy that we have both had such a tough time, your DH too with all that loss and trying to support you...but as you say it does make the bond very strong. about the future health and happiness for us both (and DH's) i definatly feel most of the trials and tribulations are behind us...feel that life can only get better and know having a little one will be the icicng on our cake.
DH has been totally supportive of me and my losses...so emotionally strong even when i still get grief pangs. Don't get me wrong we are not a perfect couple (WHO IS) there are times we argue like cat and dog.( the making up is good tho ) But i feel totally safe and secure in this relationship and so does he...we are deffo meant to be together... As for your questions... spookily we have been discussing the very same ones. have put them at the end for everyone to read. Much love to ya hun x x i am so glad you are here to share. Do find it spooky that i have been on this site for 2 years ( had 2 id's) and never spoken to you until recently. Our life paths are so similar. think the morality thing that both ourselves and DH's have gone through helps put the prorities in the correct place...look after yourself...Thank you hun x x (((HUGS)))

Jen1d-(our 1st lady) you are a dafty...no one is hiding from you hun...i (too) mentioned this thread on posts to you...as carolyn says we just need Gill to add on. I started this as wanted to share stuff with others doing DE tmt, i 'speak' to ladies on other threads i post on (baby blue) so feel it's good if we are all together and can compare protocols and timings of tmt. As for your new name....(1st lady) i am glad you like it. suits you...( for everyone else Jen1d is the 1st lady on our other thread who is furthest along in 1st DE tmt... we are all in her wake. )
Hun ...you wanna add your history and clinic stuff to the list??? or just post here and i'll update you x x love to ya x x

poochie how are you today????

My Answers to carolyns Questions:

telling others- mainly we are letting very close and understanding people know about DE.. ( my sister and 2 friends) . I am a very open person and usually dont care what others think but after trying to test the waters with a friend and Dh's mum these people could not understand what drove ladies to go for DE...both think its weird and strange that anyone would use DE, basically i see that for somepeople they will not be able to get there heads around this....so not telling his family or our friend about DE...I think although his family are emotional empathetic people they are just a generation away from understanding this...My family we are still discussing and will see.

telling child- Yes deffo....but how i don't know. As you say a very wanted child will understand that they are loved no matter what.

donor- about the donor i know they are psycologically and medically checked for disease history...but don't feel i need much info. for me i prefere the annonominity ( spelling???). we did look at kiev before IM and thought that would fit with us better for greater info on donor and photo of donor...but decided that i would rather have less info. Nature and Nurture rule for me. ( as well as switching the lightbulbs on

We both ( DH&i) feel that the pros outway the cons...60%chance in Spain to 3% chance with own eggs...As you can see we really don't have much choice.


I am off sick today as i spent the night being sick...not nice...DH nad i have had a sicky virus bug since Monday but i felt better yesterday, so very surprised to be sick. Feeling just tired and dizzy today but am sure will feel better soon. off now for a kip ( sleep) and will catch you all later

so glad you lot have latched on to the thread it's really helping me so much

Love to all of you special ladies
jen
B
xxxx

[poochie]

Hi Girls

Carolyn - OMG you really have been through it, yes I agree you and Dh were meant to be together, I feel the same about me and my Dh all through his cancer treatment and it was touch and go a few times as he kept relapsing, we said if we can get through this we can get through anything. Trew recommended IVI, stat at present 60% so we did our own homework and decided IVI Madrid with HH best for us. As regards to your points about telling people and the child I have kind of followed the rules you have my closest friends know and most my family, I to hold my head up high and say this is what we have done because this is how much we want another child. Not sure what is a good age to tell the child think my husband was 14 when he was told he was adopted although he did have an idea thanks to some tackles family member. The only point that slightly concerns me about going to Spain and getting limited information on the donor is from a health point of view, but being on a waiting list in this country means it may never happen.

JenB Glad you have been able to enjoy some sun, I do hope the weather sorts itself out, and I’m off to Norfolk on 18.8 for week to chill out before my IVI appointment and could do with some sun. HH said they would sort out transfer of my husbands sperm and do all paper work they use a company called Kynisi Costa. Think we will transfer two tubes and leave one here just in case. Think it costs about £650.00. Your Gp sounds fantastic just what you need. Hope bleed stops and your cycle goes smoothly with a big BFP.

Kelly - Welcome, good luck with FET hopefully you won’t need to join us, keep us posted.

Kim - Not sure if I will get any dates as IVI Madrid has a waiting list.

Rebecca - Welcome aboard. Hope your sister produces lot of lovely eggies. Good look to you both for Monday.

As for me still no AF but all twinges gone so I now off to enjoy some sun.

Take care

Vicki X

[jen babes]

EGGHEADS

In alphabetical order:

BabyBlue (Kim)-
Prior tmt:6 IUIs - 2006 - all BFNs
Sept. 06 - 1st IVF (ICSI) BFN
Feb. 07 - 2nd IVF (ICSI) BFN
Sept 07 - start progesterone shots
Oct 19 - EC (from donor) and Oct 24 ET

Carolyn-
Prior tmt :3 IVF, Tubal Surgery & 1 ICSI. All BFNs.
Told that eggs are fragmented, murky and leaky as well as old
19th September 07: 1st appointment at IM, Barcelona

Jen1d (or 1st Lady )
Prior tmt:

Jen Babes-
Prior tmt: 2 natural pregs both ectopics, no tubes left, 3 ivf's all BFN. Given a 3% chance with own eggs.
IM Barcelona, Dr Monica Redondo
1st App IM 3rd Aug 07: Tests, uterus Biopsy, results due 31st Aug. Awaiting AF, due 29th Aug then E2 patches.

Poochie ( Vicki)-
Prior tmt: 1st ICSI BFP, DD now 3yrs old. 2006 2nd & 3rd ISCI's BFN, changed clinics 2007 4th ICSI BFP but ectopic lost tube. Told cell division slow so going for DE.
30th Aug 07:1st appointment IVI Madrid

Rebecca
Prior tmt: 3 IUI all BFN. DH then diagnosed with variocele (sp?);
Feb 07 ICSI, stims 20 days, 26 eggs ( all poor quality) None fertilised
April 07 IVF/ICSI #2 - same thing - stims for 21 days; 31 eggs - all poor quality; zero fertilised changed clinics
June 07:Menopur/follistim IUI - 9 days on stims... 4 follicles... BFN
Aug 07:currently going through DE IVF with sister - ER expected monday 13th Aug!!

Thanks to AMcK (Anna) ( "oh Wise one") for all her input, support and help with Donor Egg info. Anna had a BFP @ 2nd transfer at IM...Baby Matthew is now 5 months old...


BFP's For all



Please add your own updates by clicking on the QUOTE button at the top of the post, add your info, delete the [quote jen babes] at beginning and end of the post, then press submit...easy peasy!!!!good luck x x

[jen babes]

Hi poochie

we must have posted at the same time

love to ya hun
xxxx

[rebeccaj]

Morning ladies (or evening for those back home in the UK).

Thank you for making me so welcome, I really hope that I do lead the thread off to a long string of BFP's!! You are all very strong and inspirational ladies - some of your stories broughht tears to my eyes and made me realise that my roller coaster hasn't been as bumpy as others.

My sister is doing really well. She has 18 follicles all growing really nicely (11- 12mm at the moment). She is also doing amazingly well with the shots although it destroys me every night to see her put herself through them for me. I am petrified for her ER as mine were all so awful. I think this is where it would be easier working with an anonymous donor. To answer your questions, she's 31 (nearly 32) and has a 14 month baby girl who is absolutely gorgeous. Apart from her and her husband and my parents we haven't told anyone and that's how we plan to keep it. When I told my mum she gave the response that I was dreading and started working out the family tree - "you'll be giving your sisters baby a half brother/sister ...I will still be the biological grandmother etc..." it hurt and showed me that others just don't understand. We do plan on telling the child (if we are lucky) but how and when are all questions we haven't worked through. It's going to be tough!

Is anyone taking delestrogen shots? I started mine last week and as well as a site rash I have put on weight! anyone else experieneced this?

Good Luck to you all and send the UK my love - I'm from Yorkshire but now living in teh US so I feel a long way from home

take care and thanks again XXX

[Jen1d]

hi girls

Jen and Carolyn - Am only joking, know you wouln't leave me
Have decided, who cares what the friend thinks about our ED.

So where do i start. Moved back home from London in 2000 and after a couple of years not getting pregnant i then had an HSG and found out my tubes were blocked. So off down the ivf road we trotted and after the first 2 attempts i then had my tubes removed as they were filling up with toxic fluid (hydrosalpinx). Then we did 2 more ivf cycles and got more negatives. My eggs are deteriorating fast for someone my age and so the 4th attempt was a shot in the dark.
So we found ourself looking into Spain as we heard that the donor is anonomous. Before i knew it i was at my first appointment on the 5th June and now i am starting the patches tonight and go for my scan the 15th. Then ET will be around the week of the 20th.
So thats the update in short but of course along with 4 ivf's comes lots of tears and emotional upheavel. We are now having some counselling as i still find using a donor a bit difficult but i'm sure that will fly out the window when my bundle has arrived-----------did you like that positivity Carolyn

Looking forward to getting to know you all

Love Jen x

[babyblue]

Welcome Rebecca. Glad to see another US girl on here. Even though we are a continent apart. No offense to the UK girls, but I felt lonely as the US meds and tmt are different than yours. I have taken the delestrogen shots through both of my IVFs. I did find that I was allergic to the sesame oil that it is in. They had to switch my second cycle of delestrogen to an olive oil base. Worked much better the second time. I had REALLY bad rashes on both sides of my "bum". Matter of fact had to have antibiotics because I got huge knots and fever in both sides even weeks after finishing the shots. If the rash gets very red, I would definitely call your DR. That is awesome that your sister is doing this for you.

Vicki - what is IVI and HH? I have heard of IUI. Maybe waiting list is VERY short.

JenB - not sure what E2 is. Funny that the Dr. has given me some very specific dates but has not given me my med list yet. The only thing they have mentioned is the progesterone and delestrogen. I looked up the Rhodesian ridgeback and it is pretty. Funny but this is what it said "... They make an excellent family dog, with their dignified and gentlemanly character. They have to know from an early age who the leader of the pack is, because they can be quite determined and stubborn." and you said he had been ruling the roost since he came home. What would we do without our dogs?

My question responses:

- Are you planning to tell other people that you used a donor egg?

As few people as we have to. My sister, closest friends, and our family counselor are the only ones that know right now. I think my DH has been okay with this option all along, but I had some major hurdles to cross. DH and I had religous issues to deal with in this as well. I did a GREAT deal of bible study but the family counselor (christian counseling center) was the biggest help of all. We had such a peace with this after talking to him. We still have not had the nerve to mention it to our parents yet. I almost want to wait until after a birth. I still want to here people say it looks like you, or has your eyes, and guess I feel they wouldn't if they know it is not my eggs. My sister is neutral and not said much, but my three close friends are supportive and understanding.

- Have you thought yet whether you will tell the child?

I will definitely tell the child but when they are old enough to understand. I have a son (Max - 8yr) from a previous marriage and I don't want my ex to find out. (By the way my ex works at the same plant that I do.) He is a VERY Minipulative man, there is no telling what he would tell Max. He has said very hurtful things to Max before just to get to me. This is probably the biggest reason for not telling too many people.

- Do you have any concerns about the fact that by going to Spain that the donor will be anonymous and therefore limited information will be available?

I am in the US and we were able to choose our donor from among about 14 donors. We narrowed it down to 4 based on eye color, hair color and height. Height and medical history were a big issue with us. I am 5'6" and DH is 6' so we wanted a donor at least 5'5". Believe it or not several were 5'1" and 2 were under that. We originally chose a donor but called the clinic back because of her family's medical history. Her mother and her sister were both manic depressants. Very ironic, but the clinic still had us down for the 1st choice and had not made the change and we got a call last month that this donor was not going to do any more cycles. I was thinking that the ED coordinator was talking about our new choice and broke down because we had put so much prayer and thought into this change. With a few e-mails to the ED coordinator she realized we were not talking about the same person and come to find out the individual we first chose is the one that is not going to do any more cycles. Now we are on line and ready to start next month.

Sorry for the long responses.

Have a great day girls,
Kim

[AMck]

Hi Ladies, have been reading all your stories...what a bunch of brave and determined young ladies we have here. You all soooooo deserve your BFP's.

I read Carolyn's questions and your replies with great interest. With regards to telling people, most of my friends know we did IVF but only my sister and my brother know we used DE. Maybe we have bowed to peer pressure, I don't know. Most people seem quite OK with the concept of IVF as it is, unfortunately, common and well known. The idea of using DE is maybe one step too far for some. I don't know, I really didn't want to get into deep conversations as to why we went down this route. I don't feel that I need to justify my decision to people who probably wouldn't understand, even closest friends.

As for telling Matthew , we fully intend to talk to him when he is older and tell him how special he is!

With regards to donor information, I was quite happy to let the clinic pick the donor based on physical characteristics.....but I must admit that Matthew having brown eyes whilst DP and I have blue has raised a few eyebrows amongst our friends and family! I couldn't care less and wouldn't swap him for the world. We have managed to answer any probing questions by saying that there must be recessive gene in the family...we looked it up on the internet so it is plausible! As for the medical history I think we have to trust the clinic and the selection procedures.

As few things for you ladies to think about for when you get your BFPs.....
When family and friends say Matthew looks just like me it feels very very strange, as I know that it is impossible. I wasn't prepared for this at all, don't know why!
During pregancy the drs/midwives ask a lot of questions about family
medical history. It did get very tiresome explaining the situation over and over again. (I was also very put out when, due to my age, the hospital office stamped a huge red sign on the front of my file saying HIGH RISK. A reminder everytime we went for an appointment!..but that's another story.)
When Matthew was born I really couldn't be bothered explaining our situation to all the midwives and health vistors and just answered the questions about family medical history etc...as best I could. I didn't lie, but for example if they asked 'is there any history of asthma/diabetes/heart disease in the family?', I would just say 'not to my knowledge'. It seemed to do the trick. I hadn't realised how much they would ask and how awkward I would feel answering, a constant reminder of the DE situation. It's all over now as he is thriving and no-one seems interested in medical history at the moment, I daresay I will be asked questions again in the future. But I think I will be more prepared then.

Anyway, just to say here anytime for you guys, will be reading and following your journeys, even if I don't post that often. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

PMA to all, wish we'd had this thread when I was going through tmt, it's a fab idea.
Bye for now
Hugs
Anna x

PS Kim, go to photobucket, password and username 'IVF group' and Matthew is there with his date of birth (23/3/07)

[jen babes]

Hi eggheads

anna- Thanks for popping in and helping us with support...
what a time you had of it with the medics...with that knowledge i
will deffo just answer the medical questions i know of.
As for him looking like you..it can happen hense the light bulb theroy we spoke about at the beginning of the thread. You caring him switched on/off his genes to suit . As an up date i know now that all the info from my biology A level ( OMG that was 25years ago now) abouot genes being chosen by egg/sperm collision is now incorrect and the carrier ( mummy) can determine some of the above traits. so matthew will look like you and also (nature/nuture theories) deffo take on your and DH mannerisms.
I totally agree thatfor many people DE is a step to far..but in 10yrs or so years time it will be more accepted like IVF.

Kim- i am glad too that you have another USA member on board for med talk. IVI is the clinic Poochie is going to a for HH i think it's the clinc in britain she was at.
What a nightmaer you had with meds and allergic reaction...that couldn't have helped relax the body for implantation.
We here have pprogesterone Birth control pill( bc pills ) then Eostrogen patches (E2) then porgeterone pessaries. all the meds are taken to sync in with donor and her AF/stims. So was asking if you get E2 to build up womb ling or equivialnt meds????
Broc is now bottom of the pack again...he knows his place Love the big fellow to bits x x He is a bit like scooby doo and loves scooby snax.
I am happy yo hear that your counselling and religion has supported you in this. I do feel i will tell my parents ( if i think it will be taken ok) after the birth. As said before by anna people do see your simiarities in the baby so i wouldn't worry abut that. Height is definatly a major characteristic and at IM they work wit that too. I am 5'9 and DH 6'1 so we would like a leggy baby too!!!! x x


Jen1d- good to hear you sounding more postive now that you are on patches it will only be 10 or so days to ET !!!! do you have an approx date for donors EC yet??? that is the next exciting bit x x Have added your stuff to the list but feel free to update or change any wording to suit x x


Rebecca- it's so hard even when your mum doesn't understand. I totally understand why you are keeping it to yourself...How wonderful that your FANTASTIC sister makes up for it. Remember her EC will be totally differant to yours ( she's gone through labor so knows about pain) and EC is only painful for a few days...14 folies is great Oh i am so excited for you hun... not long now x xx

carolyn- how are you hun ? x x

I am still feling yeuky from viral tummy bug but stopped puking so on the mend. abnormal bleeding has stopped with the meds from my GP. i keeptaking them until day 26 and then hpe AF comes x x

have cancelled my cranial sacral therapy to start acupunctue again. I have found a very local lady ( literly 10 mins walk away from home) who focuses on balancing hormones and ivf acu...Someone is looking after me thank you.

off now to get some more sleep and hope to heal all this sicky feeling away.

much love to everyone...WE ARE ON OUR WAY TO BFP'S !!!!

love jen
B xxxxx

[jen babes]

EGGHEADS

In alphabetical order:

BabyBlue (Kim)-
Prior tmt:6 IUIs - 2006 - all BFNs
Sept. 06 - 1st IVF (ICSI) BFN
Feb. 07 - 2nd IVF (ICSI) BFN
Sept 07 - start progesterone shots
Oct 19 - EC (from donor) and Oct 24 ET

Carolyn-
Prior tmt :3 IVF, Tubal Surgery & 1 ICSI. All BFNs.
Told that eggs are fragmented, murky and leaky as well as old
19th September 07: 1st appointment at IM, Barcelona

Jen1d (or 1st Lady )
Prior tmt:ttc for 5yrs,
tubes damaged
Bilateral Salpingectomy, 16th Aug 06
4 IVF - BFN
5th June 07- 1st appointment @ IM Barcelona for DE
9th Aug 07- start E2 patches
15th Aug 07 - scan to check womb lining
approx 20th Aug 07- ET


Jen Babes-
Prior tmt: 2 natural pregs both ectopics, no tubes left,
3 IVF Short cycles 2005-2006 all BFN.
Sept 06 Given a 3% chance with own eggs. Looked at DE abroad in Kiev and Spain.
Chose IM Barcelona, consultant Dr Monica Redondo.
1st App IM 3rd Aug 07: Tests, uterus Biopsy, results due 31st Aug. Awaiting AF, due 29th Aug then E2 patches.


Poochie ( Vicki)-
Prior tmt: 1st ICSI BFP, DD now 3yrs old. 2006 2nd & 3rd ISCI's BFN, changed clinics 2007 4th ICSI BFP but ectopic lost tube. Told cell division slow so going for DE.
30th Aug 07:1st appointment IVI Madrid

Rebecca
Prior tmt: 3 IUI all BFN. DH then diagnosed with variocele (sp?);
Feb 07 ICSI, stims 20 days, 26 eggs ( all poor quality) None fertilised
April 07 IVF/ICSI #2 - same thing - stims for 21 days; 31 eggs - all poor quality; zero fertilised changed clinics
June 07:Menopur/follistim IUI - 9 days on stims... 4 follicles... BFN
Aug 07:currently going through DE IVF with sister - ER expected monday 13th Aug!!

Thanks to AMcK (Anna) ( "oh Wise one") for all her input, support and help with Donor Egg info. Anna had a BFP @ 2nd transfer at IM...Baby Matthew is now 5 months old...


BFP's For all



Please add your own updates by clicking on the QUOTE button at the top of the post, add your info, delete the [quote jen babes] at beginning and end of the post, then press submit...easy peasy!!!!good luck x x

[Jen1d]

Oh Anna

You made me cry, dont even know why. Just lovely to hear it works and all your info about your journey, even though i know most of it.
This is the prob i am having, trying to get things straight in my head and wondering what others will ask. I think i would be most uspet about knowing the baby doesnt look like me but we are having counselling and hoping to sort this out in my head.
The patches started last night and i have a hellish headached but IM said this is normal, did you get that? I feel like someone has hit me with a massive sledgehammer and couldnt sleep hope it goes soon.
Cant believe its all come round so fast. No i dont know about EC, do they tell y when this is? I asked IM to tell me and we want to know how many eggs as we desperately want some frosties----just incase.

Thanks for your help and for adding me to the list

Love to you all

Jen x

[babyblue]

Jen1 - sorry to hear about the headaches. Bummer!!! Will your Dr. let you take something?

JenB - hope you are feeling better from your stomach virus. Nothing like feeling yucky - unless you are preg - then it's okay. I think the Delestrogen shot is equivalent to your E2. I also take Progesterone shots. Then after transfer I start the Prometrium along with the Delestrogen and the Progesterone. Thanks for clarifying the IVI and HH.

Anna - Matthew is adorable. You have been greatly blessed. Thanks for sharing with us. Did the clinic share with you the items they used to choose your donor? Like eye color, height, etc.?

Rebecca - Do you mix your delestrogen with the progesterone for one shot? I was mistaken - it was the oil that the progesterone was in that I had a bad reaction to, not the delestrogen. However, my Dr. had me pull in the progesterone and then pull in the delestrogen into one needle for one shot.

Does anyone know how you calculate a due date? Based on date of last period or transfer date or retrieval date? Is IVF different than calculating a natural preg due date?

Just curious but could any of you ladies from the UK come to the US for treatment and it be covered on your insurance? Or is your tmt covered by a different type of health plan? Or is the travel just too expensive?

Well, need to sign off. Take care everyone and have a wonderful weekend.

Kim

[gill12]

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!

Jen, I have only just found this new thread you have started. Its great I havent been able to read through all the posts yet, thought I would ask if I could jump on board?

We are having tmt in the IM too using donor egg and semen, we have used donor eggs twice before but this is our first go using both. It came as a bit of a shock that dh semen was abnormal and Im still not quite sure how I feel having to use donors for both.

I am on the bc pill untill the 15th August and then I will start patches on day 1 of af, so its not to far away now!

Well hope its ok for me to join in, Ill pop back later to see.

Lots of love
Gill xxx

[CarolynB]

Gill - welcome babe. Was only a matter of time before you found us!! You'll see when you read the thread that we were speculating about you joining this thread! Of course you are very welcome. Sure that JB will put you on the list before you know it!

JB - cannot believe what you have been through with your previous partner. It made me cry when I read about you letting his daughter go. That is such a brave and selfless thing to do hun. Hope that you are feeling better and that the bug has passed for you now. Take care. So pleased that you found an acu near home who is in this field. Interested to hear when she wants to see you. I see my guy before AF. Sure that he will see me before AF and then during patches to help my lining. We can compare notes. May be we did not meet before if we cycled at different times??? I did April/May 2006 and was on that thread first. Then Dec 2006 for 2nd ivf (break as had tubal surgery last August). Then March 2007. Then June 2007 thread but left that when I pushed go 4 back by a month. Then Awaiting Tmt thread. Anyway, we met now which is awesome and so helpful. I am cool with the anonymous - I just worry how a child will feel that I have not given them the options to trace a genetic mother. I plan to explain the wait lists here and say that at my age that we could not wait any longer...........

Kim - HH is Hammersmith Hospital in London. Vicki cycled there 3 times and they helped her have her little girl. I cycled there for my 1st 3 tries and we were both under the same consultant - Mr Trew!!! Having to pick a donor seems like such a huge decision. Kinda glad that the clinic will do that for me but it must be good for you to have a number to select from. It is a good idea about the insurance thing but most/if not all UK insurance will not cover any form of infertility tmt at all. Bummer !!!!

Kelly - hope that you are going to let us know how you get on with your FET?

Rebecca - really close for you now. Glad that your sister is doing so well. May be you will have frosties too. As someone else said her EC may be very different to yours. I have a close friend who is going through IVF + DE and her youngest sister is her donor. She said that Ec was very emotional for them both. Glad that your councellor has been a big support to you. Sorry about the comments from your Mum. It is hard for them to know the right thing to say. Not sure abot delestrogen - not taken that one I'm afraid.

Anna - your posts are so very helpful. Thank you for finding time to help us. Sure that I will have a High Risk sign on my file. Helpful to be warned about these things so you can prepare. Good that you told us about the barrage of questions about the medical history. Will help us all prepare for the future. Can I may be ask something else. Did you have the same donor for cycle 1 and cycle 2 or did they use a different donor for you? Sorry about all the questions

Jen1d - loving the attitude!! Now you just need to keep it up! Hope that the headaches have cleared. Look now it is only 10 days and you will be at ET. How amazing is that! Your lovely lady must be on stimmies now. Will they tell you when EC is and how many you get or will you need to wait until you go over???

Vicki - You have been through so much with your dh too. I agree that it makes you so much stronger as a couple and determined to enjoy what you have got together every single day. Do you have any idea what the wait list at IVI will be like? Hope that it is not going to be too long. I was so hoping that we might be cycle buddies!

Thank you all for your responses on the questions. It really helps to hear what others are thinking. It sounds like we are all in quite a similar place. I am going to be a little bit more wary about who I tell it is a donor cycle and if people ask then just say IVF #5 and leave it at that. I don't know who my Dad is, my Mum got pregnant very young. So I have been brought up since 5 by her now husband. So there would not be a genetic link there anyway. Somehow this helps a little as I have had to deal with the situation of not knowing my genetic father. But does hurt to know that the baby will not have a link to my Mum. We have talked about this already and she is very cool. Says that she will love the baby just as much as her other grandchildren and it will be my baby as I will have carried it. Was telling her about the epigentics too.

I have been doing some research and came across a website - The Donor Conception Network

http://www.donor-conception-network.org/

Have a series of books that you can download in PDF for free. They are for different age ranges. Books are called Telling and Talking. I read the first book last weekend for the very youngest children. It certainly helped give me some ideas of how I might be able to broach the subject.

I was not told that my Mum's husband was not my father. At age 10, I found a picture of their wedding and I was there. I knew that was not right so hunted out my birth certificate one day when my Mum and her dh were out. Different name. Wrote a letter to my Mum and put it on her pillow. Can remember the conversation the next morning like it was yesterday. It has not been discussed much over the last 40 years - may be 3 times tops and never with my 1/2 sisters. I want to do it very differently. We talked about all this when we went to see counsellor. She said that if the child knows that it is part of their 'story' but cannot recall the exact conversation where they found out that is 'better' for them. I want to try to do it gradually so no big event if I can. That is if this DE works!!

Anyway, have a good Saturday all. I need to clear out our study because it is a tip and need to find my driving licence as have 3 points (speeding !) Have been up for hours and done nothing yet........

Lots of Love to you all.
Carolyn
xxxxxxx