I am in the stages of my 4th IVF--this time it's supposed to be IVF w/ ICSI. However, after todays numbers, looks like I have one big follicle and 2 smaller ones. Based on this, i've been told that they don't do ivf w/ only one big follicle. They are going to check it out tomorrow, but if the other two have grown more, then they want to do an IUI. I just feel like I am going backwards. Did 3 IUI at this clinic w/ different doctor a couple of years ago. The doctor I had back then only wanted to do 3 IUI then go to IVF. We took a break, mainly because of the money issue. The doctor at this clinic moved and we moved w/ her because the new doctor at the clinic was yet approved w/ our insurance company. I did 3 IVF's w/ the original doctor--the last one being in May. It's never been an issue getting enough eggs to do IVF. Granted I never had a ton, but at least I had enough to follow through w/ the procedure. The last time, none of the eggs fertilized. I decided to go back to the original clinic because the doctor I had wasn't very good w/ bedside manner, explaining things, etc. Plus I was always getting a bit of the run around--2 different nurses calling me the same day giving me different instructions, one person saying they had my paperwork and another person say they didn't, etc. The reason we were going to do ICSI was because the last time none of the eggs fertilized. Now, I don't seem to have enough to do any IVF. I am kind of bummed out because instead of going forward, I feel like I am going backwards. I feel like I've done IUI's and they never worked. Even w/ IVF the eggs didn't fertilize last time. I kind of feel like doing an IUI is a waste--like it's going backwards. but then again, I guess it would be better than nothing. The more I think about it, the more I am considering just forgetting about doing anymore because it seems harder to accept when things don't go the way you think they should. Maybe I feel like this because I feel like my time is running out, and I just don't want to put myself through any more disappointment and heartache.
My insurance will only allow me to do 6 IVF. I don't know if they switch to IUI, if it were to count as an IVF cycle--but out of 4, I've only been able to finish the entire cycle twice and that was the first 2 times. Isn't it supposed to get better the more you do--you know what works or doesn't work and you try to adjust to get better results? Seem like it's going the other direction for me.
Sorry to babble, but it's just devastating when things don't work out they way you think they might.