Hello ladies and gentlemen -
I am so happy to say that my hubby and I are finally going to have our very first little miracle. We tried with our very first IVF and became a BFP!!
I am now going to be 13 weeks this week. Tomorrow will be my normal pregnacy symptoms I get really tired, dizzy, etc. which I don't mind it's all worth it but it can be a little hard at work. Well I need some advice from all of you. I am a coordinator for a wireless company and things can be very difficult at times don't get me wrong I do enjoy my job but there have been a few changes my old boss had to leave the company to go with her husband who got a great promotion so we got a new boss. My old boss was very understanding and knew exactly what was going on with me this new boss knows whats going on too but is not very supportive. He kinda gets upset because I am in and out of the office for doctor appointments or because I just dont feel good to be there all day. He even told a co-worker that it frustrates him that I am in and out of the office and might not be productive for the company. When I found out that really bothered me and since then I see him a very different way. I feel that I don't have to tell him everything because it is a very personal matter but then it's my job too. I even talked to my doctor about it and asked him if stress can hurt my baby and my doctor said that this new boss is either gonna have to suck it in or fire me and he also said that my baby is more important than anything else even my job and feel that same way too. The thing is that I want to continue working to help my husband catch up with some bills and pay them off before the baby is born. My husband told me to stop working if I don't feel good there anymore and to be honest I do want to quit but I really need to help my husband. I have thought to work thru my pregnacy get my benefits and get my maternity leave in Feb-March still get my benefits then come back from maternity leave in April and give my 2 week notice. Who knows maybe the new guy will get tired of me and fire me before hand but I do know I have rights for being prego and he cannot fire me for that. What do you all think? Have any of you had to go thru this too? What did you all decide after you found out you were prego? I would also like to stay home with my baby after so many years of trying. I would hate to leave him or her in a daycare especially with all the things that are going on.
Please Help I really need some advice!!!!
Hilda in El Paso
Need some advice!!!!!Help!!!
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hoping4bfp
- Member
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2007 6:38 pm
Unfortunately I am not going through the same thing you are. However, if I were in your position I would be as upset as you are. Considering what you're trying to do for yourself and your husband money wise I think I would hang in there as long as you can. They can't fire you for going to Dr's apts, that's in the family and medical leave act (FMLA) I believe. Hopefully your boss will get over it and as you get further along, at least second trimester, hopefully you'll feel better at work. I don't think your boss will fire you he would probably be to afraid of a law suit since you're pregnant and they can't fire you because you're pregnant.
That said, if it becomes to much than it's not worth it. Like your Dr said, your baby is the most important thing. You need to keep yourself healthy and stress makes that hard to do. But you are probably more tired right now than you will be even in another couple of weeks as your body gets used to all of those hormones. So things may get better without you doing anything.
Good luck.
That said, if it becomes to much than it's not worth it. Like your Dr said, your baby is the most important thing. You need to keep yourself healthy and stress makes that hard to do. But you are probably more tired right now than you will be even in another couple of weeks as your body gets used to all of those hormones. So things may get better without you doing anything.
Good luck.
Hilda,
I can totally understand your situation. It is too bad that you have to keep working. Pregnant women need a lot of support both at home and work.
That said, if I were a small business owner, I would not like it if my employees are not being productive no matter what the reasons are. This is because in small places productivity usually directly results in revenues, gains etc. I quit my job at a small company (900 people) because I anticipated this kind of discrimination. I also know of other pregnant women that quit the same company. In bigger companies like IBM, Cisco, management is more aware of womens' legal rights and they tend to provide a better environment for moms to keep working. My friend who works there had 3 kids and now a director there. Anyways, if you are working for a large company, it will be an advantage to you, they can not fire you or demote you over your pregnancy. If you are in a small company, stay till your 6 weeks leave kicks in, quit and take a break then find a new job at a large company. Even at a small company, I doubt that they will fire you over your pregnancy. They may not be as tolerant when you want to take time off for your child's sickness, PTA meetings etc. later on.
Take care,
I can totally understand your situation. It is too bad that you have to keep working. Pregnant women need a lot of support both at home and work.
That said, if I were a small business owner, I would not like it if my employees are not being productive no matter what the reasons are. This is because in small places productivity usually directly results in revenues, gains etc. I quit my job at a small company (900 people) because I anticipated this kind of discrimination. I also know of other pregnant women that quit the same company. In bigger companies like IBM, Cisco, management is more aware of womens' legal rights and they tend to provide a better environment for moms to keep working. My friend who works there had 3 kids and now a director there. Anyways, if you are working for a large company, it will be an advantage to you, they can not fire you or demote you over your pregnancy. If you are in a small company, stay till your 6 weeks leave kicks in, quit and take a break then find a new job at a large company. Even at a small company, I doubt that they will fire you over your pregnancy. They may not be as tolerant when you want to take time off for your child's sickness, PTA meetings etc. later on.
Take care,
deepa
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Faithinababy
- Member
- Posts: 70
- Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2007 3:15 pm
Thank you ladies, I am actually at home resting right now because I was not feeling good at all this week. I do work for a very big company I have also submitted my FMLA forms just to be in the safe side. I am trying to do some work from here at home just so that the new boss can see that I am at least trying. I really want to work till I can to help my hubby and pay off those bills. Once all that is paid that will be the day I leave. I just feel I should stay with my baby until he or she starts school then I will start working again.
Thanks!
Thanks!
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Still trying
- Member
- Posts: 58
- Joined: Sat Sep 02, 2006 1:15 pm
- Location: Hampshire
hi
Hi,
You basically have 2 ways to go about this problem.
You have so many rights in your work place that now a days employers are generally screwed!! It depends if you want the soft or hard approach.
Soft approach - ask the manager if you can talk to him. Tell him how much you have been through to get pregnant and how important it is to you, then tell him how important your job is also and how inconvienient it must be for him when you feel ill, but it is a short term situation that will result in you having a healthier pregnancy and enabling you to perform your duties with more confidence. Then thank him for his understanding.
Hard approach if that doesn't work.
Tell him you know your rights and to be treated differently because you are pregnant is sexual discrimination and can become a legal issue. Make sure that you have all your health and safety pregnancy risk assesments - this is their responsibility and they have to respect your wishes on it. There should be an area that asks if you feel any part of your job is getting too stressful and if you put yes I believe they have to put you on lighter duties with the same pay or let you home with pay. Don't forget any holiday you have accumilated can be taken at the beg or end of the maternity leave and that you will acrute holiday even on maternity leave.
Also if you have time off sick and get a doctors note, if it is pregnancy related you are still entitled to sick pay.
I went to a health and safety seminar a few weeks ago and somebody managed to sucessfully sue their boss for thousands of pounds just for hurting their feelings!!! Its a pain to go through but with a good lawyer they will fight your case - obvi very last resort.
If you want to know anymore legal stuff get back to me as my sister in law is the diversity directorate for the police !!! She is well up sex discr and rights in the work place . I have had to remember this from my experience as a nursery manager. x
Another thing I would advise sooner rather than later would be to ask your boss for an appraisal of how he thinks you have been doing since he started, this will give you the chance to say about your preg. if it comes up and if it oesn't and he gies you a good appraisal then later gets funny with you, you may be able to prove he is discr. against your pregnancy. Either way as a new manager he should respect your willingness to impress and should credit you for that.
htp. x
You basically have 2 ways to go about this problem.
You have so many rights in your work place that now a days employers are generally screwed!! It depends if you want the soft or hard approach.
Soft approach - ask the manager if you can talk to him. Tell him how much you have been through to get pregnant and how important it is to you, then tell him how important your job is also and how inconvienient it must be for him when you feel ill, but it is a short term situation that will result in you having a healthier pregnancy and enabling you to perform your duties with more confidence. Then thank him for his understanding.
Hard approach if that doesn't work.
Tell him you know your rights and to be treated differently because you are pregnant is sexual discrimination and can become a legal issue. Make sure that you have all your health and safety pregnancy risk assesments - this is their responsibility and they have to respect your wishes on it. There should be an area that asks if you feel any part of your job is getting too stressful and if you put yes I believe they have to put you on lighter duties with the same pay or let you home with pay. Don't forget any holiday you have accumilated can be taken at the beg or end of the maternity leave and that you will acrute holiday even on maternity leave.
Also if you have time off sick and get a doctors note, if it is pregnancy related you are still entitled to sick pay.
I went to a health and safety seminar a few weeks ago and somebody managed to sucessfully sue their boss for thousands of pounds just for hurting their feelings!!! Its a pain to go through but with a good lawyer they will fight your case - obvi very last resort.
If you want to know anymore legal stuff get back to me as my sister in law is the diversity directorate for the police !!! She is well up sex discr and rights in the work place . I have had to remember this from my experience as a nursery manager. x
Another thing I would advise sooner rather than later would be to ask your boss for an appraisal of how he thinks you have been doing since he started, this will give you the chance to say about your preg. if it comes up and if it oesn't and he gies you a good appraisal then later gets funny with you, you may be able to prove he is discr. against your pregnancy. Either way as a new manager he should respect your willingness to impress and should credit you for that.
htp. x
Still trying x
me 34 , dh 36.
ttc nearly 9 years
6 failed ivf ( 4 fresh, 2 frozen, 3 with egg share)
me - tubal damage
Had tubes removed Dec 06
7th attempt start April 07
me 34 , dh 36.
ttc nearly 9 years
6 failed ivf ( 4 fresh, 2 frozen, 3 with egg share)
me - tubal damage
Had tubes removed Dec 06
7th attempt start April 07
What a bummer your old boss left!
That said, talk to your boss...if there are ways you can 'make up' for the doctor's appointments, then do it.
And to go back for 2 weeks then give notice? That's crappy...it's also adding to the reason pregnant women are discriminated against in the workforce: There's an attitude that they will do JUST WHAT YOU ARE DESCRIBING.
So be better than that...If you do need the money, hang in, but if you are going to quit anyway, don't make the company suffer for it by quitting "anyway" after you use up all of their benefits.
Save them the headache and quit now.
That said, talk to your boss...if there are ways you can 'make up' for the doctor's appointments, then do it.
And to go back for 2 weeks then give notice? That's crappy...it's also adding to the reason pregnant women are discriminated against in the workforce: There's an attitude that they will do JUST WHAT YOU ARE DESCRIBING.
So be better than that...If you do need the money, hang in, but if you are going to quit anyway, don't make the company suffer for it by quitting "anyway" after you use up all of their benefits.
Save them the headache and quit now.
8/17: BETA 475
8/20: BETA 1,680
TWINS!
Born April 3, 2008
37 weeks...
GORGEOUS boy and girl
8/20: BETA 1,680
TWINS!
Born April 3, 2008
37 weeks...
GORGEOUS boy and girl