WHAT'S EVERYONES PLANS RE GOING BACK TO WORK

rachel r · Post by **rachel r** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 5:27 pm

Hi everyone Just a quickie, as this is on my mind all the time. Unfortunately due to a huge mortgage, I can't afford to not work completely, but Im hoping to do maybe 3 days. Also, despite us trying to save as much as we can between now and herbie's birth, i don't think i;ll be able to take much moore than 4-5 months leave before returning. Will this make me the worst mummy in the world? Just finding that people really frown upon me when they ask me what i'll do about work and I say i have to go back. I know everyone's entitled to their own beliefs about things, but its amazing how critical people can be - no matter what I thought inside my head about someone else, i don't think i could ever openly criticise - everyone's got to do their thing haven't they!?!?! What are you all going to do? (and I wouldn't mind but I've got another 27 weeks to go before Herbie's even born!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) LOL Rachel xxxxxx

suzanne · Post by **suzanne** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 7:26 pm

Hi Rachel, like you I'm planning on going back 3 days a week. Although the idea of giving up completely is lovely, for one thing I don't want us struggling for cash and also the reality may not quite live up to the fantasy of being a stay at home mom. Take no notice of the interfering sods who criticise, it's entirely yours and your hubby's decision, and I'm sure you'll make the right one for you all. Also I don't think going back after 4 or 5 months will make you a terrible mum at all.....needs must! Suzanne.x

Helen G · Post by **Helen G** » Wed Aug 20, 2003 8:59 pm

Hi Rachel As Suzanne says, ignore the interfering sods. At the end of the day you have to do what's right for you and your family and if that means going back to work after 5 months then so be it! There have been lots of reports recently about working mums - there appers to be no evidence that the little ones' development/social skills are affected. You spend the next few months enjoying your pregnancy and then enjoying the arrival of your little one! Don't worry about this far ahead!! Things will sort themselves out! take care of you and little herbie! LOL Helen xx

bubblymichelle · Post by **bubblymichelle** » Thu Aug 21, 2003 5:11 am

I wouldn't worry about what everyone else thinks, its a nice thought about giving up work completely but finically if it means your going to struggle and not be able to provide the best for your child you have to do things to help. I am going to be going back to work, I am going to take the extended time off though 6 months with pay and then the 6 months without pay (thats if I can afford to do it) Then I am hoping to go back 3 full days Monday Tuesday and Wednesday and then 4 hours on the Thursday and have the Friday off, I am not sure if I will but this is what I am thinking of doing at the minute. Love Shell. 18wks pg xx

NickyJ · Post by **NickyJ** » Thu Aug 21, 2003 5:53 am

Rachel, Heres the story from one who has done it!! I had no choice but to go back as my dh is a contractor and so work can be hit or miss. I only got 5 months on full pay, but used my holiday entitlement for the year to go back 2 days a week the first month, then 3 days a week etc till I went back full time starting Jan this year. My two (i had twins!!) stated at nursery the same time and I am on Flexi hours so work 6-3.30 which means Hubby takes them to Nursery and I pick them up. They only go three days a week he works from home on a Monday and I work from home on a Friday. It saved my sanity, ensures we have enough money to survive....and Rebecca and Ross are thriving. My Health Visitor even comments on how relaxed they are and what great socialisers they are. We have no family living nearby so didn't have a granny they could stay with, and so nursery seemed the best bet for us. You must do what you want to do. Either way you will resent it if you have not at least tried to do what you want. I went through the guilt bit as well...after all that nightmare to get pg then just handing them over etc. but we as a family are all happier for doing it this way. Hope this helps Nicky

Tracey S · Post by **Tracey S** » Thu Aug 21, 2003 7:53 am

Rachel Right mine field isn't it - we have ex wife who is the lasiest person you will ever come across ( she has never worked!) and two step-children to support and the mortgage from hell. I have 6 weeks at 90% then statutory so no big shakes and can take the year off which I would like to do. I am in recruitment and my company (large plc) will not allow less than 4 days - Ideally I would like 3 so not sure what to do - all a nightmare - think might try and do some work from home but just got to get it. Do what is right and you will end up with a happy and relaxed baby Rachel. Take care Love Tracey xxx

Lizzy7 · Post by **Lizzy7** » Thu Aug 21, 2003 8:57 am

Hi Rachel, I'm really lucky as i work from home (DH too) and have done for the last year. Both my sisters went back to work fairly soon after having their kids and i've got to say they've got the most fabulous children (5 between them) that you could have. (i can imagine their faces if they knew auntie liz had called them fab - especially my 16 yr old nephew!!!) You do whatever is right for you, Rachel - i expect you're going to be one of the best mummys in the world, Take care of you and Herbie, Lizzy xxx

KirstyC · Post by **KirstyC** » Thu Aug 21, 2003 6:35 pm

Hi Rachel, Just to echo the above really, don't give a stuff about'they' say. I am sure you will be a fantastic mum. I am sure we all will be as none of us will take our children for granted! I have managed to negotiate 12 months off (I am very lucky I know), but I might work from home during the later six months to bring some pennies in!! I am just going to take it as it comes and see how £££ goes!!! Good luck with it all and don't let the bastards get you down!! Lots of love Kirsty xx

alison p · Post by **alison p** » Fri Aug 29, 2003 12:02 pm

Hi all, I'm planning on having the full year off - but it's going to be a complete change with the reduced money. I'm not planning on going back after that, but it depends - I may hate it at home and we may be struggling on one wage. It may be very difficult to go back as I work at home and unfortunately my office is going to the nursery - oh well. I think you have to do what's best for you and DH in your situation. Don't worry what others think - it's none of their business. Alison xx

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