Pheonixes Rising

[jen babes]

lisa

loving the fact that your lazing around in your PJ's every morning Lucky you...as for DH the only way to find out whats going on in his thoughts/feelings is to ask him.
as we therapists say Assume-ing makes an ASS out of U and ME ...get it ???? I do feel hormones will be playing a bit part in your felings and DH is just getting down to what he thinks boys to men shoud be doing??? Is that what you mean?

anyway enjoy your shopping in Boots hun, must be great to walk down the baby isle with a smile on your face instead of head down like i mostly do!!!! Soon to change eh!!!

Nicki hows 2ww!!! we are praying for BFP for you hun!!!!! PMA PMA PMA

hi to everyone else...was at acu this morning and felt totally floored after. managed to shift a client until later today and slept for an hour at 12-1pm...really needed it. Anti-b's are home as well as me on them, DH has chest infection and is on them too!!! what are we like so he's coughing all night poor soul and went into work later today after having a long lie this morn.

love to ya all

jen
xxx

[nicolamark]

Hi lisa and Jen, my 2 fav scottish gals.... xxx

Did i tell ya both, I am off to scotland on hols in 4 weeks, going to aberdeenshire, banff....know it????

Been to scotland before, the highlands, but scotland, scares me, Basically whilst we were away in Scotland, my dad died, he died the monday i didn't look at my phone til friday, and then got the message, so i felt awful, we then flew home but i felt bad and that holiday has very bad memories for me, i just have this thing about scotland, just for that reaason, crazy i know...... mark said he really liked scotland, and has been times before we met, but sadly my memory of scotland has been tinted with this black memory of my dads death.
So i have said to mark, yes i'll go..... am i being silly??
So actually i am looking fwd to going but i am not overly excited.... theres little thing in back of my mind that says something bad will happen.....

Lisa, totally understand what u mean, re: dh and donor stuff... mark feels it too, obviously it different for you and dh as you are 35 weeks preg, parhaps you should speak with counsellor, have u joined up with any support groups, did you look at dcnetwork? are u in touch with other gals who have had donor babies?? parhaps you need to chat with them, and see how they cope?

It's hard on the guys, but you must make sure he knows he's the dad.....
We have always said, the donor is the father, and marks the dad (will be) and anyone can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad.... and dad's are more important than fathers...... and we will celebrate, dads day not fathers day!!!

Lisa, if you wanna chat off the board to me about this donor issue, and stuff, feel free to........

I am here for ya babe.......
Hope u got lots of stuff in boots, wow thats great offer, hope that offers still on in a few mths time when i need to go.......

Marks been looking in catologue for baby stuff, bless him he's more excited that me, i am trying to be all just matter a fact about the 2ww...... he's already picked out a pram, cot and high chair!!!! LOL!!!!!

Jen..... I've not see BB all w/e think its losing its dazzle now.... but a girl at wrk today said chantelle came back into house!!!! WOW!!! missed that, did u see it??
wow, you donor is great, to go thro all that for a stranger, these donors are wonderful people huh??? I wonder that about our donor, why would a man donate sperm??? he must have relatives who have been in that boat, and he understand, as i dont think the average guy would donate...... my bro said he would donate, and thats only coz he knows about us ttc and shortage, other he said he would think twice!!
The reason i did egg share with IVF, was because i know what it means to others, I still wonder if the lady i was going to share with found a donor?? I feel for her.... x x

Big J Pm'd me to tell me about ttc for baby no2 and then about bligted ovum, never ever hear from debra P, or sand for that matter? makes you wonder why they just stopped posting when they were always posting huh???
I hear from the iui girls, some i chat to on msn or yahoo messages every now and again.......
Becky, pops in every now and again, and Little p, emails me everynow and again also.....
Eskavon (penny) the last thing i heard she'd jumped off the roller coaster, i think she's moved on to adopt....... smita pops by sometimes... havent you seen her posts, in fact i think it was her, who told me about pineapple!!!
A few mths back we had a reunion, thread going on, did u not see that......
Actaully its quite sad, that i am still here posting and ttc.....
We cycled back in 05 togther, didnt we? yes, we have been there for each other tonz.....

PMA is flying high, is it good to have such high PMA? i feel quite good about myself, otherwise no othersigns, boobs seems nomral, no tummy pains/twinges nothing but feeling really happy and cheery!!!!

right i am off now, love to all... xxxxxx

[nicolamark]

Ive lost my pma... have no hope any more.... have AF type pains this evening, i am off now to chill in front of telly, try and push this frm my mind!! xxx

Hope every1 is ok, love to all xxxxx

[ogr1]

u keep hanging on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it has just been very crazy around home.

but things are going better.

sometimes it seems like i have said everything that i could say.

i am a pretty boaring person.

everything on the tv is repeats. but that will be changing soon.

did get a call from our clinic. they where checking up on me and wanted to know if we still wanted to be on there donor list.hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
u still have my e-mail?
i think of u and everyone else all the time and you all are always in my thoughts and prayers. i havent herd from anyone for a while.
jo locker e-mailed me. her family is doing great...

[Lis]

Hi girls

In my PJ's again!! but have an excuse this time as its nearly bedtime.
I am so loving the morning PJ routine! Usually I have a cuppa in bed watching Friends on ch 4 too

Jen - oh sorry to hear about anti B's,MS and Adam being poorly. You poor things!! Hope you have both been looking after each other. I think you do so fantastically with the MS - you never let it hld you back. Ypou're a good sturdy Scottish gal ha ha xxx

Nicki - keep that pma going hun. If it helps at all, I did get some niggles on day 8 of 2ww like cramping then it subsided so you hang on in there. Its too ealry for AF anyway! ((((HUGS))))

Am feeling much better - hormones behaving. I probably didn't give you the whole story girls .... had been feeling a bit neglected as dh and I hadn't got .. you know ... "jiggy jiggy" for a while. We've both been so busy, me with work, dh with painting the entire house (nesting, big style) so we've both been knackered and not really in the mood so I started geting all worried thinking it was my big bump putting him off (I know, crazy to think that) and I have to admit it does make it harder to do !! but we did have a good chat and we both agreed that our priorities are the same, we're just going about them in different ways - I want to make sure we get quality time together before baby arrives and dh wants to get everything ready so we have a nice home for little one, as we'll be spending a lot of time here very soon! But I also felt on some level dh maybe felt it was his way of "doing something" for us since at times I know in the past he felt a bit like he wasn't doing anything - as its me going thro all the tmt. But hey we've chatted about donor issue so many times and its only beacuse we chat all the time and are open that we are so close. I don't know what I'd do without him he is tge love of my life, my soul mate. He knows he's the Dad and he's really excited and so grateful that we are in this position but there are times when I know he feels sad that he can't pass down his genes. But we both know that has absolutley nothing to do with being a good parent and I know he'll be great. He's told me he does feel 100% our little princess's Dad.

Anyway I really am ranting now. Sorry Thanks for listening girls and thanks for the support. You gals really are great

xxxx

[jen babes]

Lisa
Glad evertything was sorted out and hope you find time for some
...
love makes the world go around....I am feeling much better today thanks..It's Adams birthday and after a dasay off work yesterday he is feeling a bit better too!!! But gosh these antibiotics are makeing us both feel sick tho!!!! Hope you have a good weekend hun, and DH manages to finish the painting so you can have time togethere. Go to the pics or have a meal...cos soon that little princess will be demanding all of your time!!!!
Not long hun, you must be getting excited x x xEnjoy the PJ moments cos soon you won't have time to get out of the dam things!!!!
Nicki sweetie...everytime i have been preg i was si sure AF wuld come any minute...even after a neg test i was waiting and waiting for her and still she didn't show..eventually 6 days later i did a postive test and knew why...so hang in there hun...the hormones can F up your thinking and make a mess of emtions...keep mind active on other tihngs...clear out a cupboard clothes whatever do something to take your ind off the negs hun...We are still PMA ing you all the way...much love o ya NIcki x x x





KATE- i am thinking of ya hun, hope tomorrow brings some positive news...If not you are a brave woman and the next steps although difficult yu will get throrugh hun. We are here to talk if you need us. I am thinking of you and DH x x x x


Lucy- enjoy your hols hun you must be off soon x x

Gail, hi and hugs x x

julie you are quiet just now hope all is okay with you x x x

Well the weekend starts tonight for us...DH is 37 today and we are off out for a birthday celebration. Friends are coming up from Glassgow and we are going for a meal out and the pics tomorrow. Weather permitting a BBQ saturday and a cycle on sunday Worried a bit about that as my energy is rubbish just now!!! Anyway wil cross theat bridge when we come to it...I am off today as we are expecting deliveraries. Have bed and shed coming...the matress is not due until 2 wks so really will not put the bed together until then. WE have ordereda KIng size bed with memory mattress. ( M&S are doing a special on then just now) All this is because
1 we have never bought a bed together before....just a mattress...2. I am so sure that wewill get a BFP that i wanted a bigger mattress so the baby will fit in when i am feeding her/him... How's about that for PMA!!!!!
well thats the excuse anyway!!!!


So am i busy this weekend and will catch ya all Sundy or Monday...have a good one everyone...Nicki keep the faith and keep busy x x x

MUCH LOVE
jen
xxx

[Kate21]

Afternoon!

Just got back from the clinic and they have confirmed that there is definitely no embryo growing and therefore I will miscarry in the next few days (all being well). Had resigned myself that that would be the news but I still couldn't stop myself shedding a few tears when we were told. At least this time the consultant was sympathetic and explained as musc as he could to us (think he felt for us as he had just scanned two couples who were pregnant and they both came out laughing and really happy and then we went in!!).

Anyway, DH and I have talked about it and we are going to try again, think we would kick ourselves if we didn't especially as we came so close this time. You never know this may kick start my body into getting itself pregnant without having to have anymore help....fingers crossed!

Lisa - hope you and Dh manage to spend some time together before the little one arrives. Everything must be so mad for both of you trying to sort stuff out and get it all ready before she arrives.

Nickie - keep the faith girl! I had cramping pretty much all through my 2ww and I got a positive. I know its easier said than done but try and keep your mind occupied as it will play tricks on you. Am thinking about you tho x

Jen - thanks for the advice on pm'ing Jools. I did and she got back to me with some great advice, it really helped to talk to someone in the same situation. Hope you and Adam have a fab weekend celebrating, sounds like you have loads planned. A king sized bed sounds lovely and even better when you have the baby - plenty of room for all of you!!!

Julie - hope you and little one are doing fine?

Lucy, Gail - hope you two are ok as well?

Right, am off to watch some tv. Am trying to make the most of my last few days of freedom before I have to go back to school - I am not looking forward to it at all!! Have a good weekend girls, catch you later

Kate

[Julie2039]

Hi girls

Just a mega quick one as on my nans computer (yes my nans!!). Mine at home is poorly so not ben on all week.

Jusk checked in to see how Kate got on...

Kate - You are right to shed a few tears and shed a few more. I am so sorry for you but glad you appear positive and are going to try again. Please take care xxxx

Nikki - How are you today? Sorry not been on with the PMA but here is loads for ya chick

PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA PMA

Hope you are feeling better and AF isn't teasing you any more!!!!!! Like Kate said, it was good for me too xxxx

Jen - Sounds like you and Adam are under the weather agin. Hope you are both tip top real soon. (Don't over do the loving and wear yourselves out ha ha)

Lis - PJ queen!!!!! How are you feeling? Hope you are more positive. Maybe DH is scared of hurting you? My DH is a sex addict and I can't usually get away with saying no but I too felt a bit like you the other week. He hardly wants it these days.....it won't last I can tell you. Raaarr!! Soooo happy for you re the daddy issue. Great news and I knew it would be that way.

Lucy - Hope you are well. Enjoy the holiday!!!!

Gail - Hope you and Katie are well too x

Anyway, I am fine. Had a lazy week which has flown by. Not been anywhere - just done a few jobs at home.

Have a FAB weekend xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Lis]

Hi girls

Kate - so sorry today didn't bring better news but glad to hear you sounding positive and so happy for you that you are going to try again. Hope you can get some rest nad quality time with dh before going back to work. Big hugs xxx

Nicki - 100% agree with Jen. Don't know if you remember but I was so convinced AF was coming with all my symptoms and slight brown ish discharge too on morning of AF (sorry if TMI) and it was Jen who convinced me eventually to go and do a hpt so hang on in there sweetie. Not long now. Good advce from Jen re keeping busy and mind occupied. I used to love doing sudoku to keep my mind busy - I was addicted for a while! Big hugs to you too xxx

Jen - Happy Birthday to Adam! What are you going to see at cinema?? You really should go see Bourne Ultimatum - its fab film plus great eye candy for the Ladeez .... Enjoy the meal, barbie and cycle, sounds great. Pretty much like my ideal wk/end actually. Thanks for the emoticon - actually we sorted that yesterday I'm glad to say and intend to keep it that way. Take care hun and we''ll speak to you after the wk/end.

Julie dh did actually say he was scared of hurting me and I have to admit to not feeling particularly amorous myself of late. I've def not been one of those women who feels sexy all the time during pregnancy Sorry if TMI girls but I know you girls understand! Julie enjoy the rest from dh whilst you can tee hee! xx Glad you are well and hope PC gets better soon. Maybe your pc and mine can go to pc hospital together because mine is so slow and rubbish !

Lucy, Katie and Gail - hope you guys are well. Please pop in and say hello.

Today I managed to get out of my PJ's at midday . Dh and I went for a lovely lunch in Edinburgh with friends - Nicki was thinking the hotel we went to for lunch would be perfect for you if you come to edinburgh. Its called the George Hotel on George St. Its slap bang in the centre of Edinburgh with the castle near by and all the shops & restaurants. The Tempys Bar where we ate is lovely, really modern and good food. Think it would be perfect but not sure of room prices.

Dh has just finished putting up tie backs and pictures on nursery walls. The room looks great. Cream walls, curtains and blinds but pink everything else - border, light, pictures! - very girlie but lovely. All we're waiting on now is the furniture to arrive. He is such a sucker for pink now - every where we went today he was immediately over at the girls section

Tomorrow we are off to visit the relies. Going out for dinner with my mum tomorrow night and visiting dh's dad in nursing home tomorrow day and Saturday. Then we're driving back home and going to friend's for dinner on Saturday night. Sunday dh is doing more painting in the hall. Got a dvd to watch tonight so can curl up together on the sofa. Dh with his beer and me with tea and chocolate - ie my wine substitute!

Will catch you all probably not til Sunday now. Have a good wk/end all

xxx

[nicolamark]

hi everyone....... xxx

Kate, hugs to you honey, but sounds like you have your head round it, and seem quite strong. like you say u never know it might kick start ur system xxx

Lisa, you sound blooming happy, and content, and the hormones must be settling down huh? Glad that u and DH had a chat, thats great, nusery sounds likes its all down so now parhaps u can get jiggy with it... have fun, whilst you can. hope u have a lovley time with your mum and dh's dad xx

Jen, i know ur a wise woman...... i am not feeling so bad today, just matter a fact about it all, but im at the half way stage of 2ww, and you know what thats like huh?? one min i am sure its pos. then nxt min im worried thats it... no more AF pains since last night, so dont know what that was all about...... i told mark, and he just said to me no i dont wanna hear it, your pregnant, and i wont take any other thoughts until we are proven otherwise different, so thats a good PMA huh???

julie, your nan has a PC i am inpressed, is she a young nan though?? if my nans were alive they would be late 80's so couldnt image then on the net, LOL.... how ya doing anyway? Thx for the extra PMA xxx

Lucy, wahoooo...needly hols time for you, Enjoy! xxx

Love to everyone else xxx

[nicolamark]

Hiya peeps, i am hoping you guys can help me, i am going insane!!

I am now on day 13 of 2ww, and today, i am feeling very much like AF is coming, i have tummy cramps, on & off but not constant.

but i am feeling very full of PMT symtons, keep biting mark's head off, and ive cried lots today, i just feel very hormonal.
I now have compulsive knicker checking disorder, however every time i leave the bathroom, i feel happy, as there is no blood, not even a smudge. so keep thinking thats a good sign.

I am still feeling hopful that these are good signs, but i am also scared in case its BFN

Lisa, kate, jen, gail julie did u get the PMT hormonal feeling with the AF cramps? Please put my mind at rest...... I am going insane.

[gailp]

Hi, sorry this is a flying visit.

Kate so sorry about your news on Thursday, I know it was what you were expecting but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I am so pleased that you are going to have another go. Sending big hugs to you and DH.

Nicki I had PMT symptoms, I was so sure AF was arriving that I did the test when my DH wasn't even at home as I thought it was just a formality to prove that it was -ive. How wrong was I !!!!! Don't worry about the symptoms they sound good to me and I am sure Mark understands why you are biting his head off! Sending bucket loads of PMA for you.

Hi to Jen, Lucy, Julie and Lisa I will do proper personals next week

[Lis]

Morning all

Nicki - as per text, I had loads of pmt signs and even some discharge (sorry if tmi). Even some bleeding is normal in the early stages. You must try, try keep up the pma honey. I will text ya again this morn. Oh hun, wish I could give you big hugs but I will send them to you from here anyway ((((HUGS)))) xxx

Just a quickie as dh wanting to play music on the pc. His passion is music (well apart from me tee hee!! LOL! ) and as he's painting ALL DAY today trying to get on with the hall he needs his music in order to stay sane

I hope everyone is having a good wk/end. Visiting the folks was hectic but good. Had a lovely meal out with my mum on Friday night then at friends last night for a lovely meal too. Since dh is painting today, I'm off into Edinburgh to meet 2 good friends from Glasgow who are coming thro to see me.

I will do personals later (if dh lets me on pc) or 2mro.

Catch you all later xxx

[nicolamark]

Hi gail, hi lisa..... hi everyone else.....

Ive just done a hpt......it was negative, im on day 14... last night i had red spotting, and this morning brown spotting, so said to mark i would test, and then i'd know for certain, ive been crying so much, this is the end, i cant do it no more, ive had enough..... honestly i have, i cant keep putting me thro it for this, and i may aswell, throw the money away, coz it aint gonna work......
Mark has said the same as you guys, its not over til aF comes, and these feelings i have could mean either, so hang it out til wed, and re test then, but i know how i feel, and i know how i feel other mths before AF and thats how i feel...... and BFN on the test, has proved it, so im feeling like shit now, i so wanna be a mummy, but just gotta face it, fate is telling us something.....

Thanks for the hugs lisa. xx

[gailp]

Nicki I am so so sorry, I know how you must be feeling at the moment. As Mark said though it isn't over unless AF arrives and testing early can show as a -ive even though it could be +ive.

Sending huge hugs your way and crossing everything that your wrong and AF wont arrive.

xx