Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

[Jen1d]

Hi Walshy

Great to hear from you, you sound so poitive. Well done on the weight lose, you are doing so well babe.

I am trying to keep positive but after so many neg cycles, its hard as i just cant face more disappointment.

Naughty, naughty you----no i never use a hpt, dont want to find out the disappointment any earlier than i need to, so its better to back off and leave it, at least i can save the tears for a couple more days
This was emailed form IM today about our embies.

I was worried this wasnt great for a day 2 transfer, i was hoping for more cells but Carolyn said 4 cells is good and quality 10 is the best you can get. I am so scared to think about the good things and get my hopes up incase-------------------well you know.

On day +2, 2 embryos at 4 cell stage were transferred (quality 10)
4 embryos at 4, 4, 4 and 2 cell stage (quality 10, 9, 9 and 7) were cryopreserved.

Love Jen x

[Jen1d]

Hi

Just a quick one

Feeling ok so far. Not feeling much except a bit of af feelings this morning. I keep thinking about the last 2-3 days, which would have been implantation time but i have had no cramping and no spotting??? Just getting a few little tingles above the bikini line. I'm sure there are lots of girls who get bfp's and dont feel a thing and others who get every symptom going so i'm still trying to be positive.

Love to you all

Jen x

[Inhale, Exhale]

Hey Octos!!
so good to have so many back.. Walshy AND Camilla.. now we just need a peep from Littles.


Jens- argh, this wait is going sooo slow. I can't wait for you to post a BFP!! I know it is coming.. sure thing, no worries. How are you occupying your time? although I think we should do our best to entertain you, I don't think going local licking with Walsher is a good idea. so maybe sit that one out and go to a coed naked cooking class with Dems instead. no symptoms, no worries.. lots of peeps have none.. including myself.

Lo-la-la-la, Hi schmuffin. so visit from the rents heh.. is that good or bad? if good.. enjoy, if bad.. drink up! I find that helps me deal with the in-laws. i would also like to sign up for the life of luxury please. I am not asking for much, just someone to clean my entire house, do my laundry, cook me dinners, tend to the landscaping and wash our cars. oh and the grocery shopping.. although it is my understanding that in your parts lots of people order in their groceries.. tis true? did you have HSG yet?give us the goods.

Walshy- you are doing so fab with weight loss.. props to you girlfriend! I have hit a brick wall.. actually I hit it, back up and hit it again.. I have lost all baby goods, but still have lots to go from all those cycles and hormones and emotional eating. why does food have to be so tasty? especially chocolate! my downfall. As for baby number 2.. oh man.. that is such a dilemma.. of course would LOVE another and hubby and I are using no preventative measures. If it happens naturally, I will naturally be over the moon. Also, I am a bit surprised how strong my desire is for another already, Faith is only 8 months. BUT the thought of going through all the emotions of trying again with all the disappointments and struggles- as you all know is emotionally exhausting. Right now, I am trying to just appreciate how extremely blessed I am with my beautiful babes and enjoy every single moment with her. Don't get me wrong, all the treatments and surgeries and roller coaster emotions were worth it to have her. I would definitely go through all of that again and more for her. But we have her now and need to focus on that. Although I am way too educated about my body to NOT know exaclty when I am ovulating and my subconscience always sneaks in and tells me to have sex on those days.. it is a hard habit to break. But, like I say.. if it happens naturally you will hear me scream from where you are! I guess since we had Faith naturally there is always a chance??

Since you asked I will share..warning baby details ahead....
Faith is doing fabulous. She is eating some REAL foods now, feeding herself with her pudgy little fingers, not just baby foods. She is crawling now and can pull herself up to standing. The daycare calls her "independent".. she know what she wants when she wants it.. wonder where she gets that from? She loves to "swim" and people watch at the mall, grocery store.. everywhere. loves other kids. I will send some recent pics through e-mail for those that want a look, those that don't can erase. I do remember how hard it was to see, hear, talk about babies and I try to be respectful of that. which is why I hardly say anything about her. I want this so much for all of yu lovelies and can't wait until the day we can ALL take about OUR kids. we will start with Jens!

Luv you girls!
steph

[Inhale, Exhale]

Hey Octos!!
so good to have so many back.. Walshy AND Camilla.. now we just need a peep from Littles.


Jens- argh, this wait is going sooo slow. I can't wait for you to post a BFP!! I know it is coming.. sure thing, no worries. How are you occupying your time? although I think we should do our best to entertain you, I don't think going local licking with Walsher is a good idea. so maybe sit that one out and go to a coed naked cooking class with Dems instead. no symptoms, no worries.. lots of peeps have none.. including myself.

Lo-la-la-la, Hi schmuffin. so visit from the rents heh.. is that good or bad? if good.. enjoy, if bad.. drink up! I find that helps me deal with the in-laws. i would also like to sign up for the life of luxury please. I am not asking for much, just someone to clean my entire house, do my laundry, cook me dinners, tend to the landscaping and wash our cars. oh and the grocery shopping.. although it is my understanding that in your parts lots of people order in their groceries.. tis true? did you have HSG yet?give us the goods.

Walshy- you are doing so fab with weight loss.. props to you girlfriend! I have hit a brick wall.. actually I hit it, back up and hit it again.. I have lost all baby goods, but still have lots to go from all those cycles and hormones and emotional eating. why does food have to be so tasty? especially chocolate! my downfall. As for baby number 2.. oh man.. that is such a dilemma.. of course would LOVE another and hubby and I are using no preventative measures. If it happens naturally, I will naturally be over the moon. Also, I am a bit surprised how strong my desire is for another already, Faith is only 8 months. BUT the thought of going through all the emotions of trying again with all the disappointments and struggles- as you all know is emotionally exhausting. Right now, I am trying to just appreciate how extremely blessed I am with my beautiful babes and enjoy every single moment with her. Don't get me wrong, all the treatments and surgeries and roller coaster emotions were worth it to have her. I would definitely go through all of that again and more for her. But we have her now and need to focus on that. Although I am way too educated about my body to NOT know exaclty when I am ovulating and my subconscience always sneaks in and tells me to have sex on those days.. it is a hard habit to break. But, like I say.. if it happens naturally you will hear me scream from where you are! I guess since we had Faith naturally there is always a chance??

Since you asked I will share..warning baby details ahead....
Faith is doing fabulous. She is eating some REAL foods now, feeding herself with her pudgy little fingers, not just baby foods. She is crawling now and can pull herself up to standing. The daycare calls her "independent".. she know what she wants when she wants it.. wonder where she gets that from? She loves to "swim" and people watch at the mall, grocery store.. everywhere. loves other kids. I will send some recent pics through e-mail for those that want a look, those that don't can erase. I do remember how hard it was to see, hear, talk about babies and I try to be respectful of that. which is why I hardly say anything about her. I want this so much for all of yu lovelies and can't wait until the day we can ALL take about OUR kids. we will start with Jens!

Luv you girls!
steph

[Jen1d]

Hey Steph

Dont worry about talking about Faith, we love to hear about her, it doesnt bother me.

Never get fed up looking at gorgeous pics of BabyOctoFaith either

I think the first week has gone pretty fast, its the 2nd week i dread. Then i dread the test day more. I dread taking the test as it can chane your life in seconds and our always seem to get changed for the worst

Oh well, will try and stay positive


Love Jen x

[Jen1d]

Hi girls





How you all doing?

I'm ok, had a bit of backache yesterday, nothing much, then a few throbbing sensations and a couple of sharp twinges, had that this morning to but they dont last long. I know this week i am due af around Mon, Tue, Wed so i think i will get some af feelings. Strangely i feel calmer this time and have not started obsessing about 'pant checking' yet, but this 2nd week is always the worst. My last cycle i asked the clinic if i could continue the pessaries until the test date, which they usually dont do, they stop 4 days before test day. They allowed me to do this and i made it to test day, maybe thats why i feel less stressed (so far) as the amount of pessaries and patches i have to take with IM should stop the bleeding.
I had a little thought about doing a hpt on the morning of the 7th but dh has put his foot down---better let him get his way-----only once though Going out with Mum and dh for a meal and the sun is out

Have a good weekend

Love Jen x

[Jen1d]

Hey, where is everyone, i'm making lovely signs fr you and need someone to feel negative with and you have abandoned me in my hour of need
Get back noooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww please

Well i am at the stage that i'm not to worried and feel strangely calm----until Friday---- but i know the pessaries will probably stop the bleeding. I'm so scared to talk about it incase it starts. I felt a few twinges today again and a small throbbing sensation in my boobs a bit but nothing else. Dont want to look in to it much as i've had some of this before and it can be the medi. Just feel now, can we every get a bfp, after all the disappointment i just cant see it happening for us although i'm being positive. Maybe i'm just trying to protect myself just now but i dont think it will every work for us, then i see the thread with the lady who had a bfp after the 8th attempt and know it CAN work????
I have seen only to often people with fab embies get a bfn and others with poor ones getting a bfp---will just have to wait and see.
Dont know, a bit confused today I think its called the emotional rollercoaster----i have been on that bloody rollercoaster for years now, when does it stop to let me off

Speak later, been back at work today and have a bit of a sore back and am whacked. Go in tomorrow for an early shift then off until the 7th---getting to close now

Thinking of you all.

Love Jen x

[lolajones]

My but you've been busy with the crazy graphics! I gather Carolyn has got you hooked eh??
Can't believe your ticker - 4 days to go!!!! Woo hooo!!! Its going really quickly!!! Man I SO CANT WAIT for your results to make all these years of the roller coaster worth it for you! I am so certain this will work and thus annoint the 5th time lucky life raft with positive vibes and a big fat flag that says "YES!! The octo05's will do it!".

So, 4 days left for Jemla means 6 days left until holiday!! Still have NOTHING booked and will be winging it but hey! 3 weeks off!!!!

How're my ladies?? Steph - lovely Faith pics! Time goes so quickly - she's got so big! Went to visit my friend who has a 1 and a bit year old - I swear he has the biggest hands I have ever seen on a child! Honestly as big as mine! Mundo Bizarro.

Weekend with parents was great fun, me and dh now exhausted, running downhill until vay kay.... I'm hitting hibernation zone.

Almost forgot, had my hsg, muy unpleasant this time, that plastic thing is brutal! I now have "downstairs" bruising Anyway - results look ok and still have uterine lining which can only be a good thing. Still no news on Project: Monkey Gene - they've prob sent the blood to Gorilla Centrale for further tests...

OK my sweets, I'm off to wash the dishes - the servitude continues

Lola
xxxxxx

[lolajones]

PS

[camilla]

Jen - Not long! Has gone quickly, but probably not for you! When is test date exactly then? Gather in next couple of days. Listen you could definitely be pregnant whether feeling anything or not! I will be back!

Lots of love to you.

Camilla xxxxx

[Jen1d]

Hi

Loops - Your showing off now but the sign is lovely thanks.

Camilla - I spent ages doing that fab ticker and you need to know my test date your getting a telling off

So its D11, my favourite day but these pessaries are working a treat so far I'm scared to say the B---d--g word, so wont. Have had stuff going on in my tum today, its either the pessaries fighting off AF or its worked, personally i think its the first one. I am really calm and have done no knicker checking yet but today after feeling things go on---especially D11 when its normally all over for me, i now think its all over. There are so many great embies that turn out to be negative and bad ones get a positive. There is no guarentee with this ivf crap and its all down to luck. I can just see it now, 22yr donor, quality 10 embies and bfn for me If this happens then i wont believe any other cycle can work and i will be devastated.

Oh well, will just have to wait, nearly there now but i am just so terrified if its not worked as i get so depressed. I have been so positive so far but after these feelings today, well?????????????

Thanks for listening, know you all understand.

Thinking of you all.

Love Jen x

[Inhale, Exhale]

Hi girls!

Jens- I am back for a second.. was holiday yesterday and out in the field today... no am off until tommorrow morning. will chat more then but wanted you to know I am thinking of you CONSTANTLY.. Friday chant!

Loops- can't believe you are flying by the seat of your pants for a three week jaunt! I am a planner. I need a plan! otherwise I would stress about not having a plan and what kind of vacation would that be? a sucky one, that's what.

Walshy- come back!

Hi Camilla- no news of you?

OK luvs,
be back in the am
Steph

[camilla]

Jen - Sorry for silly question!! Didn't really look at your lovely ticker, I never managed to get one done. Arrgh only 2 more sleeps. Watching and waiting. You're doing really well, very proud of you. Keep those negatives at bay.

Lots of love Camilla xxxxx

[Jen1d]

Hi

Oh my god, got a big churn in my tum when i saw my ticker, it's getting to close for comfort now

Feeling better today, nothing i can do really, just wait and wait

Friday i get blood test at 08.40am then wont get the results until nearly teatime arrrrrrhhhhhhhhhh my nerves will be done in and my lovely nails will be down to the quick

Thanks for keeping my spirits up and Camilla, of course you are forgiven

Love Jen x

[Jen1d]

I'M SCARED NOW

Hi girls

Feeling a bit scared and nervous now. JUST LOOKING AT THE TICKER MAKES ME PANIC Dont want to do the test, i'm scared of more disappointment. The pessaries last time stopped me bleeding but i had signs and symptoms of af. This time they are doing the same thing but so far no af signs and i do feel twinges and some shotting pains but not sore--------scared to think it might work as we just get knocked back down to earth with a bigger bump

Will try and keep busy today and will let you guys know as soon as possible tomorrow. Thanks for being such good buds to me

Love Jen x