DONOR EGG Tmt Thread... " Egg-heads"

CarolynB · Post by **CarolynB** » Sun Sep 16, 2007 8:08 pm

Thanks for thinking of each of us when you are having a very hard time yourself. I am ok. Just have to work tomorrow - keep busy. Then Tuesday will be busy getting there. And then it is Wednesday.

Much love
Carolyn
xxxxxxx

Julie C · Post by **Julie C** » Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:08 pm

Hi Ladies,

Julie from US here---new to the post w/in the last 2 days. What an informative and great thread. I wish all of you the best of luck. Carolyn in IM this week.....other gals on scans, tests, twins...wow!!

Pls do not think I'm butting in here----you all seem to know each other so well...... but sure would like to get your thoughts on some things racing thru my head.

Just now trying to come to terms with the fact that DE may be our only option. Yes....I'm still in denial.

Had a failed IVF 9/12/07...only 3 follilces....3 eggs retrieval...no fertilization. High FSH, was told DE was my only option and not to sepnd any more $ on IVF with own eggs.

There is no way we can afford DE/IVF in the US---we are self pay.

I have located 2 clinics abroad that I'm interested in: IM (spain) and Clinic of Reprod Med and Gyn in Czech.

I apoligize now if my questions are too foward...I do not mean to offend, but no one else but you ladies has a clue as to all the things we are going thru. I also realize that you are all goign thru your ups & downs as I write this post........

So, here goes:

DE in spain or czech.......were any of worried how closely the phyiscal characteristics of the DE would be to you???? I'm fair skinned with green eyes, and I do not think the popluation in these 2 countries that closely matches me (really, does not match me at all). I totally understand there is no way to make a mini-me---I'm not expecting that. And, totally agree with the posting on this thread, re: carrying the DE in my womb.

Did it bother you that you could not at least see a pix of the DE female?

Do you plan on telling your family and child that the baby was conceived via DE? I personally would like to keep that private b/t my DH & I, but think I will have some feeligns of guilt perhaps. All that I've read seems to say that either way is perfectly fine so long as hubby & wife agree.

Thanks for your time in reading this post!!

And of course, I wish you all the best. I will be curious to read the posts next week to find out how you've all progressed in this journey!!

Love- Julie

AMck · Post by **AMck** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:44 am

Hi Ladies

Just popped in to wish Jen good luck with the scan today.

Welcome to the new gals, this is a great place to be

Sorry no time for personals today, hope everyone OK, must fly

Bye for now

Anna x

jen babes · Post by **jen babes** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:18 am

Julie welcome...
i will try and ans some of your questions:

1.I have ancestors from Russia ( many generations back) so going to czech wouldn't bother me. I have high cheek bones ( or did when i was younger they are going south now LOL )But olive skin and blondish hair so could be a mix of any country...
2.Doesn't bother me that i will never see the Donor or have a pic...for me it suits easier then i can see more of DH in the child ( if you know what i mean)
3. will tell the child and some family members but not let many others know x x
Hope you get some counselling as it heped me work out some very important issues. Also if you read back on early posts Carolyn has read many books and i am sure will recommend some that will help with your questions. good luck x x keep in touch and i will add you to the list when i get back from a few day away with work x x xlove jen B xxx

GILL- Sweetie my thoughts are with you and DH today..good luck testing ..hope that bleed is just a breakthrough fingers crossed x x x

Carolyn- busy bee good luck with IM this week x x xthinking of ya x x x

Jen1d good luck with Scan today...hope ovaries have shut down and lining is A okay x x x

rebecca j , rebecca hall, Anna poochie kelly sonia kim big j and anyone i have missed a big hi x x x

Well good news from me the bleeding has finally stopped and alhough i still feel totally PMT'ed i am so much happier. brought back a lot of memories of 1st cycle and it being canc due to bleeding after down reg Still waiting to hear frm IM but will prob wed when they contact me by return email. Usually takes a few days...

i must dash off now as i am running late
just wanted to say i am thinking of ya all
jenB
xxxx

Jen1d · Post by **Jen1d** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 11:02 am

Hi IM Girlies

Hang in there babe, so hoping this is your time to shine.

JenB - Glad you sound happier today and the dreaded

has gone.

Carolyn -

Have a great trip and bring back lots of fab news

Love Jen x

Jen1d · Post by **Jen1d** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 11:19 am

Hi girls

Hi to everyone, got a dreaded sleepover this afternoon so in a bit of a rush.

Just had scan and the lining is 3.6mm. It was 4.4mm last time at this stage but hopefully its ok. We still have another 10 days until ET so hoping it will be nice and thick by then.

Anna - thanks for thinking of me.

Julie - Welcome. I am one of the girls going doing ED in Barcelona (IM). Just a quicky but i am very fair, with blue/green eyes and dont feel worrid about matching the donor. They dont just match her to the women, its also with your partner to as the baby needs to be a mix of you both.
You get told the donors blood group, age and how many eggs she got but no i dont want to know anything else, thats one reason we chose Spain.
Counselling helps with the question about telling family/child. I have told my family and 2 close friends and will only tell people if they ask, its nothing to feel ashamed of and if they dont ask then they will think its my eggs. I will be honest with the child but we feel we just have to say a kind women helped us and if they ask as they get bigger then we will deal with it then but i think honesty is the best.
I struggled at first but i think that was more to do with losing my eggs and grieving for my own child but believe me, when the embies go back in at ET, they felt they were mine and i never though again of the donor. Maybe it will be different if i have the baby but so far its fine.
What i try to think is the donor is not thinking about all the children she has in the world, she is only giving an egg she doesnt need, so i chose to see it like that to. Hope this helped.

Love to you all

Ok catch up tomorrow

Love Jen x

gill12 · Post by **gill12** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 12:42 pm

Hi Everyone

Julie- Welcome, We have just had donor ET in IM Spain. It really does not bother me at all not knowing what the donor looks like. I have light brown hair green eyes and fair skin and I know that the egg donor had light brown hair and green eyes too, I think they do their best to match you as closely as they can. I would tell the child from day one that we had used a donor, that way they dont get any nasty surprises when they grow up. Only close family members and a couple of close friends know that we have used donors

Jen1- I am sure that your lining will thicken nicely over the next 10 days , by the time et comes it will be lovely and snuggly for your litle embies Hope the sleepover is ok, Text you later x

Carolyn-

Hope you are ok and all set for Big B, I will be thinking of you. Take care hun, I will text you later x

JenB- So glad bleeding has stopped, hope that you enjoy yourself in Glasgow. Take care Text you later x

Hi to everyone else, took my blood sample to the hospital this morning, could get to find out result this afternoon but more than likely tomorrow. I am still getting mild af pains and brownish spotting(sorry tmi) so not looking too good .
Take Care
Lots of love
Gill xxx

babyblue · Post by **babyblue** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 1:04 pm

Rebecca - Congratulations on the TWINS!! I hope your morning sickness eases. It is a good sign that babies are healthy however. Hope the blood clot disappears. Sounds like they are going to keep a close eye on you.

Other Rebecca - WELCOME!!! I'm sorry about the "Other" but I don't know which initial goes with which Rebecca. J or Hall. This is an awesome thread and has been very beneficial for me. DH and I have been thru 6 IUIs and 2 IVFs and all BFNs. DE scared the bejeebers out of me when it was first mentioned. After many (lots and lots) of discussions with DH and going to counseling, I feel MUCH better about this. I think most of my problem was grieving over the loss of my own eggs. DH & I are footing the bill for this one. All the other tmts have been covered by insurance, but insurance will not cover DE. It is approx. $16,000. We were able to choose a donor from stats, write-up, and photo. I too am light olive complexion with green eyes. I have read a few books on disclosure and found there are SOOO many ways to handle this. We have chosen to keep it to ourselves (except my two closest friends) until later. DH and I have said that we will tell the child when they are old enough to understand, but by keeping it confidential the child can then decide if they want anyone else to know. Hope you find your answers you are looking for.

Welcome Julie. Great thread and wonderful ladies. A great place to be.

Jen1 - Good luck with your scan today.

Gill - PMA!!!! Lots of baby dust being sent your way for your test today. Waiting for results until tomorrow is going to be a killer. Stay busy and keep PMA.

JenB - Hey girl what is up with that crazy AF? Sounds like they have finally got it under control. Hope things are going good for you.

Got to go for now. Will be back and finish later.

Love and hugs,
Kim

gill12 · Post by **gill12** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 3:57 pm

IT'S A BFN.

AMck · Post by **AMck** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 5:07 pm

So sorry Gill

Sending hugs your way

Anna x

CarolynB · Post by **CarolynB** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 5:20 pm

Dear Gill

I so wish that there was something I could say to help with the pain that you are feeling right now. I know how critical this try was for you & your dh.

So hope that IM will be able to offer you some explanation/answers. I know that you are worried about £ but may be there is a way through the frozen bank.

If there is anything that I can find out for you whilst I am there just e-mail me and I will find out what I can. I would do anything that I could to help.

Much love
Carolyn
xxxxxxx

PS - thanks for taking the time to do sparkles for me even when you are stressed out on your own test day. That made me all teary

babyblue · Post by **babyblue** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 5:25 pm

Gill, so sorry hun. You will be in my prayers.

Love and hugs,
Kim

Julie C · Post by **Julie C** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:49 pm

Gill- I'm sooo sorry to hear that!! That really sucks!

Thanks to all of you for your for feedback on my post!!

Love- Julie

Jen1d · Post by **Jen1d** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 3:33 pm

Gill. i'm so sad for you babe, wish i could give you a big hug.
Hope you got my emails? I'm here for you anytime, when you feel ready.

Carolyn has text a few times and is fine. Cant wait to hear her news.

Jen's spotting has also stopped so hopefully she will be on the patches soon.

I have now started 3 patches as of yesterday as IM said the lining is a bit thin. I am a bit worried but we have another 10 days so hopefully the extra patch will do the trick. Have to go for another scan on the 21st.

Am out for dinner tonight with my American cousin but wil catch up better in the morning before work.

Love to you all

Jen x

babyblue · Post by **babyblue** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 4:35 pm

Carolyn, I hope everything goes just as you want it to tomorrow. Sorry I was not able to wish you well yesterday but work went bazurk. I am wishing that you come home with smiles and have a bunch of good news to share. Be careful.

Gill, you are still on my mind and in my heart. My prayers are with you right now.

JenB, glad to hear the spotting has stopped. Hope you are enjoying Glascow (sp?). No more BC pills for me. Took the last one last night. Yippee. I have had very light spotting the entire time I have been taking the BCPs. But it seems as if the Lupron injections are doing the trick. My spotting has stopped today. Be safe while you are away.

Hello and good wishes to all that I didn't mention above. Got to get back at it today.

Love and hugs,
Kim

DONOR EGG Tmt Thread... " Egg-heads"

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