A cancelled IVF cycle and a nice glass of Chardonnay

[botheration]

I'm 39, and my first ICSI cycle was cancelled today because I had only three follicles and two were scrawny and immature. We're going to try the old fashioned way to blast that lone mature egg into a full and satisfying existence (a long shot, as we have male-factor infertility), and then start on afresh on a Clomid/FSH cycle (I was on a down-reg cycle before).

Much as I try to affect a Pollyannaish optimism about events, the truth is I feel pretty lousy. Two weeks ago, when I thought I would be having a ovum pick-up, I told the company I consult for that I may need a day off. Unbelievably, and unethically, they sacked me – terminated my contract – claiming my treatment was too uncertain and they could not rely on me. I worked with them for six years, helping found and build up the company, doing uncountable unpaid overtime. I had a personal friendship with my two bosses, who were married to each other. I sat at their wedding table. Their behaviour is, in fact, illegal under Australia's Sex Discrimination Act. (I'm Australian.) So I'm considering making a complaint through the Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission. Obviously, I am so looking forward to the stress and conflict that would create.

I am also working on another huge project which I need to finish by the end of the year.

So, my question is this: Am I allowed to have a couple of glasses of wine tonight? Surely a couple wouldn't hurt? Surely?

[talisen_cat]

Wow,

what a screwed up world we live in.

I truely believe that everything in moderation is the key, so go ahead and have a wine or two. As for your work, in that optimistic way hopefully, in the big scheme of things this is a change in your life that may bring about positive changes.

In saying that, a good rant, cry or gossip can't hurt either.

I always looked at my first neg as a learning, fine tuning process. I hope that will be the case for you too.

T

[botheration]

Thanks T. I'm having a glass now and am already enjoying that mellow, melty, relaxing glow.

What you say about the first cycle is very comforting. The doctor suggested such a radical change to my treatment that I'm hoping the result will be radically different also.

As you advise, I'm trying to convert the work situation to a positive: a better future awaits. I so appreciate your insightful response.

[Kery]

Hi ya
My first cycle at isci was cancelled too. It's a bummer at the time but it's better than going through the EC and not collecting anything decent. Sometimes the first cycle is a bit of a trial to see how your body will react to the meds. My doctor just increased my stims by a small amount and the second time I had a good lot of eggs.

Go for it girl!! Have a glass for me too!!

Kery xx

[shantala]

unbelievable!!! unbelievable! thats all i can say....as if this c**p isnt bad enough without all this! i just wanted to say that you definitely deserve a glass or two!

but please do take them to court/tribunal. i know its hard when you know your bosses personally but it's absolutely damn right disgusting, especially as they know you personally too!!!! so you go for it...and keep us updated on your progress!!

and best of luck for the future!!

xxx

[jen babes]

Hi hun
you are having a tough time...but to join the club my 1st cyle was cancelled too..it was a downer but i got good A class embies with my next 2 cycles...

good luck with next tmt

love jen
xxx

[Kiwi expat]

Hi Botheration

Personally, I would go for a nice wee drop of NZ chardonnay (from the Marlborough region if need be). Life is full of sh*t when you look at it...! (as the song goes...) so why not? It doesn't hurt and in fact, some studies have shown that in moderation, a glass or two will reduce stress and provide some benefits to this whole sombrering process...

Drink to your health!

From a fellow antipodean x

[botheration]

Ha! Thanks to all. Man, but did I enjoy that glass. As did my partner, who was lovely enough be give up the plonk with me in the beginning of this process. Then, of course, we needed to finish the bottle the next night. Back on the straight and narrow now though.

I remember my sister-in-law telling me, "You know, everyone tells you that you don't feel like drinking when you're pregnant. But I felt like drinking all the time! I hated not drinking!" The same must go for IVFing.

Oh, there's some beautiful wines from New Zealand.

[Dexter]

Dearest Botheration and fellow Aussie....

Crap crap crap. What awful people to work for. Do they think IVF is a f**n disability? I am in shock to hear what you have gone through, but thank goodness you have an amazing attitide.

As for wine..it is largely unspoken of on here I think there are quite a few of us secret "winos" lurking that are partial to a glass of wine during treatment and make that several after if it's a BFN! My pregnant girlfriend was told by her doctor if it stresses you out to not drink at all when you're preggers then it's best to continue having a couple. Go figure! And she was pregnant. Ha! I'm all for it. Bit of light relief when it's most needed. What else is there?? Definitely not interested in Bding these days Guess there's always eating but if I'm gonna be 36 and childless then I have to keep up a reasonable figure I guess - no excuses for me. Might as well look as hot as we can!

Where you from?

Dexter

[Angie65]

Aha ! I love this wine discussion. I'm about to have a FET tomorrow and you'll see from my history it's certainly not the first time. And you know what, I have a few social things happening in the next couple of weeks and I may well have a glass here and there. Abstaining and being really strict didn't help me one bit in the past!

Here's to Marlborough Sauvignon blancs! Good luck to all the wine lovers amongst us!

[Kiwi expat]

Angie 65 - Good luck for the FET

Let us know how you get on!