Hey my Octofriends,
Well I have finally finished the yucky antibiotics, but I am not convinced that the UTI is ancient history.
I did a test this morning and I am hoping that it comes back negative
Hah, you have to have a sense of humour about this...first time I want a negative on a test before
We shall see.
In terms of IVF3, well today I
finally started with stims after nearly 4 weeks of downregging....my longest time ever.
I hadn't self-injected for over 18months and frankly, I was a little rusty but now feel more confident...pity I am good at self-injecting as it's not something I can ever put on my CV
Not something that I can brag about during an interview..."so what skills did you hone during your 4 year-break?"...PFF!
Anyway, I am relieved to finally be starting and getting on the "ride" again
It's strange.... but the more treatment I have, the more stressed I am about the outcome and how my body will react...does that make any sense? I remember my first IVF when I was a newbie... I was more excited than scared and now it's the opposite.... I know I really need to change my mindset but after all, it's a normal reaction right? Who wants to be hurt for nothing?
All this leads me to saying...I can understand what you mean, Jen... I don't know how you've made it this far... you're remarkable and so brave. I admire you and it's only natural to feel the way you do and want to protect yourself. I know I feel that way too....everybody keeps telling me to be positive etc but it's so hard. Today I am not really sure how I feel....I guess it's all a bit surreal that I am back to all this again, the discomfort, the strain and the emotions...
Just learnt about another pregnancy and I feel that I am that statistic... the person referred to amongst my friends when they have encountered another person who's going through treatment. I hate that... I hate having to listen to other people's comments on happy endings to long awaited conceptions and thinking "well, when is it going to be me?". I feel like the statistic that my friends are lucky enough to know because then infertility won't happen to them...it makes me a little angry.
Anyway, enough of my bitterness and tongue...I know, Jen, I am supposed to be encouraging you...what an Octopal I am. Honestly, I was so hopeful/sure for you and Lola in the past and so incredibly wrong... it was a little shocking for me. All I can say is that I will be thinking about you on the 12th and would be relieved and honestly happy for you to get what you so deserve.
Bring on the 12th.... I guess the only other thing...you've had so many 2wws that only you know how you feel....and you are right to not really rely on any of it...
Lola, so you're taking Spanish lessons... and you're smart
and BEAUTIFUL... never really thanked you for your pic...was lovely... and you know I had sort of imagined you that way... I know that you are going through a lot at the moment, dealing with things that are unimaginable to me. You're a strong one...your vacations sounded like a blast.
Steph, in case you sneek back in again......hugs to you and the little Faith
Well must dash... the DH is home and wanting his quality time
Take care and talk soon.... Jen, I'll be in touch via the site or by text as usual....
MUCH MUCH love
Littles
WARNING, EMOTIONAL, HORMONAL FEMALE AROUND 
