DE IVF did not work - bad donor

[winnieone]

We've been TTC for several years, finally moved on to DE IVF. The fresh transfer failed, so did the frozen transfer. We have 3 more frozen embies.
I am reluctant to use them, we found out later on some things about our donor, we had not known before, or else we would have selected another donor. We used an independent donor. We found out at least 2 other women she donated to had miscarriages. The bright side is that almost everyone she donated to got pregnant eventually & had a live birth.
Still, I don't know. I am afraid of having a miscarriage.
We thought about getting into a Shared Risk Program for donor egg IVF, but it costs 35K. Of course, you get the money back if you do 3 cycles and don't get pregnant. But my husband is reluctant to do this. He wants to adopt now. I am not quite ready for adoption. I feel we have a good chance if we just get a BETTER EGG DONOR. I can't give up my hopes and dreams of having a baby. anyone have advice?

[ebohner]

I've been there. We had bad advice from our doctor, and used a donor with a high FSH. We got 5 so-so quality embryos, and the fresh cycle, and later the FET both failed. We changed clinics, and changed agencies, and this time insisted on a donor under 25 with good track record (she'd donated 5 times, 4 resulting in pregnancies). We got a total of 9 embryos, 4 of them 5AA (very good quality). We transferred 2 blasts, and I just got a BFP, 11 dpt with an hcg of over 500. I have my first ultrasound in a few days, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything is fine.

I guess my advice is to try again, but change what you were doing. Maybe interview another clinic and/or consider going through a donor agency this time. I realize this costs more $$, but just think how much you've spent without a success. I would try again, with the shared risk plan. For one, that would eliminate alot of stress, knowing you have 2 more shots before you have to pull the plug for financial reasons.

Best of luck to you.