Feeling very sad

yarnista · Post by **yarnista** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 1:59 pm

Hello everyone,

I just got some sad news this week. I was pregnant with twins and went in to see the fertility clinic for 10 weeks and the nurse told me one of them no longer had a heartbeat and stopped growing at 8 weeks. I'm trying to look at the positive side that it is mother's nature way to take care of things but am still feeling very sad.
The other baby looked good, moving around and a strong heartbeat. I just can't help worrying about that one too. I know it's not good for the baby for me to be upset but I can't help what I'm feeling. I don't think it would be normal for me not to feel this way.
Support and advice would be so appreciated. Love to all.

fulloffaith · Post by **fulloffaith** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:38 pm

Yarnista,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know there is nothing anyone can say to help the pain but just know that I am thinking of you and praying for this little miracle to grow to term and you have a healthy successful pregnancy with no more complications. You never know what can happen and it was nothing you could have prevented. So please don't beat yourself up about it. But of course you are allowed to be sad and grieve. That was a precious life and was apart of you and your DH. So don't feel bad about being sad. But stay strong for that little one now...somehow we find the strength to move on. We don't know why things happen they way they do but trust that God knows and will make this all right in the end. He loves you and your little ones so much.

Keep us updated honey...
BIG HUGS,
Allison

MISSPIGGY · Post by **MISSPIGGY** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:45 pm

I am so sorry.I will pray for both your children and you.
Holly x

Malinka · Post by **Malinka** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 4:12 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I know there are no words to say to help to ease your pain, just stay strong and be positive.

woodcliff · Post by **woodcliff** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 4:52 pm

I am aching for you...and will keep you in my thoughts.
The little one inside of you ... eventually you'll focus on that little one...
In this day of U/S, we know too much too soon...a blessing and a curse.

My mom, in the mid 1950s, was pregnant with twins, she lost one, bled heavily, and when she went in for a D&C, the MD detected a heartbeat. Apparently she had lost the second twin...my sister, the surviving twin, is an amazingly strong person...we always thought she 'absorbed' the other twin's personality and became this super duper woman!

I am wishing your baby well...and that you heal...
There was a woman on the April boards who had the same loss between 7 & 8 weeks...very sad for her as well...I wonder if something occurs during those weeks that impacts the babies quite a bit?

ALL the best to you and your family and baby.

Babyb · Post by **Babyb** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 5:07 pm

Yarnista: I am so devastated for you!!!!!! This is my biggest concern right now. I have twins too and had an 8 week us and both had very strong HBS (over 150bpm). Aliann (another on this board) lost her twin at 7 weeks or so and this concerned me greatly. To hear that it has happened to you is just heartbreaking! How does this happen? When was your last US?

I can't begin to express how sorry I am for your loss, but please keep the faith with respect to your other little one. I do hear that it is not uncommon for one twin to pass in the first 12 weeks

but I haven't hear many, if any situations, in which both didn't survive. As I read my post, I hope nothing I am saying is in poor taste (if so, I apologize tremendously). I really just feel your pain and disappointment and wish you all the best with your little one. You will be in my thoughts.

yarnista · Post by **yarnista** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 5:47 pm

Thank you all for your kindness, it helps so much. When I look back now this baby was probably not meant to be because my hcg levels didn't indicated twins and on the first ultrasound the nurse wasn't too sure about it but then saw a heartbeat. I had an ultrasound the week before but the ob doctor I went to the u/s machine was so old she couldn't pick up their heartbeats. The week before that I was at the fertility clinic and they both had strong heartbeats 165 & 169. The day before I found out I saw a new ob doctor who examined me but didn't do an u/s and she said everything was good, my uterus measure 13 weeks.
I'm sick right now with a bad cold that's settled into my chest so that's not really helping me feel better either. My friends have helped me one of them gave me a beautiful mobile for the baby's room. So I just have to stay focused on all the positive in this and know that this is what the big guy wanted upstairs. Thank you again, Lots of love.

kholtan · Post by **kholtan** » Sun Oct 28, 2007 4:01 am

Yarnista~
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. There is no way I can really understand how you are feeling but I do know that it is natural to grieve and quite expected when you go through something so sad. You are in so many thoughts and prayers and we will all be by your side until the little one arrives. Take care of yourself and your baby. Give yourself and dh a giant hug from us all and know we are here whenever you need a shoulder.

Much love and prayers~
Kimberly

Aliann09 · Post by **Aliann09** » Mon Oct 29, 2007 4:58 pm

Yarnista, I want to start by saying how deeply sorry I am for your loss it is devastating and I know exactly what you are going through. I lost one of my twins 5weeks ago. I was in my 8th week I went for my last scan at the R.E. at 7 1/2 weeks and had 2 healthy babies. Size and HB were perfect. I went to my OB exactly 1 week later and the baby did not have a HB anymore it was measuring 8w3d which is exactly what I was that day. I was so upset all I did for the first few days was cry and although everyone was so sympathetic nothing made me feel better. It has been really hard for me, I work with a girl who is having twins in Dec and one of my best friends is also having twins in Dec. so to constantly be reminded about it has been difficult. The first few week were the worst and even though you want to be positive for the other baby you are so sad about the one you lost. Until I read your post today and started typing this I didn't realize that it has been 5 weeks and I have to tell you that the time is the only thing that has made things easier. I still think about the other baby almost everyday or everytime I look at nursury stuff, clothes etc. I also was very scared that I would lose the remaining fetus but so far everything has been really good. I saw the Dr. for 3 consecutive weeks after the lose he was monitoring the fetus and my body did what he hoped and reabsorbed the baby so I haven't seen the Dr. in 3 weeks and I go back next Monday I am really nervous but I have had to just stop and think how lucky I am to still have a baby and I am trying to move forward and be positive. Again I really am so sorry for your loss and if you need to talk or have any questions please don't hesitate you can always PM me as well. Take care and get some rest.

Ali

yarnista · Post by **yarnista** » Thu Nov 01, 2007 12:16 am

Thank you for all your lovely replies. After I found out this I started having a bad cold that developed into being admitted to the hospital Sat. night. I don't have asthma so the doctors couldn't understand what the heck happened, they thought it might be related to my school building being full of mold and dust. I was worried about the baby the whole time being on all the medications they gave me but have had 2 ultrasounds and everything looks fine. Just feeling worn out from everything and looking forward to feeling back to my old self. Thanks again everyone.

Feeling very sad

Feeling very sad

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