DONOR EGG Tmt Thread... " Egg-heads"

[taylorjools]

Hi Ladies, you are sooooooooooooooo sweet just read as much as I can b4 dh has dinner ready, and you make me want to HUG you all.
I would not normally do the ME thing b4 talking to you, but you shld all know that Kiev cycle was poop. That is, we have lovely embies, 6 really mega ones, BUt me, well what a b***y grrr started bleeding the day after we got there. Dont ask me why, last time the endo was perfect, all the times, and this time, well it just fell apart and made a period I mean after menopause and all I had a follicle, which b**dy ovulated and messed it all up so we had no choice but to freeze the sweeties. That said we had a really nice stay and the clinic as always were fantastic and dh was fine, there is no charge for the FET, they just swallow the cost as no transfer was done this time. I will go alone in December (aaaaagh) so just flight and flat to pay. It snowed a lot, great fun, and I drank a lot of Irish cofee and Vodka. Target date fr FET will be 17th to 20th dec (HRT cycle will be controlled)

so now:
JenD - you will be a fantastic mum, so stop it, the questions will never stop, but we all do out best and when you love your sweetie, youll find nothing is too much bother, and you will crave sleep, thats it.

Jen babes - I hit the Vodka, yum yum, who cares, plenty of time to clear ouyt the system later, and after a mc however early you deserve some booze and a GOOD cry, so wail away, thats what you are allowed to do babe, sont let anyone stop you. I howled all night after I found out my delicious fresh ambies had to be frozen, just too cruel after the mc so just let it out.

Carolyn and Kelly I am rooting for you both, sorry not to be with you, but that doesnt lessen the bbdust coming yur way from my direction

love and hugs to all on this journey
BigJ

[jen babes]

Hey eggheads

hope you all had a good weekend...
i had a great night out friday at children in need quiz . was on painkeillers for headaches but managed to have a few vodkas and got totally merry...and had a lovely night....
saturday wee went a run in the car and gave the dog a good long walk and did some christmas shopping/ fab lunch... x factor and dvd at night.
sunday we again weent out for lunch and had a long beach walk with the dog..played tennis (wii style) all night...

although some tears i really had a good time and am beginning to feel more like my usual self and not numb/angry or full of tears ...
been shopping all day and bought clothes ( some even fitted well and am not as fat as i wass last week with the preggy weight) ...so although not a good weekend for dieting a fab weekend for feeling good for a change and looking to the future ...

kelly - yep hun the WAIT is a nightmare...when i had the bfp i knew i would be 12wks by christmass day and whhat a better christmas pressie than to tell everyone. so you will be 10wks gone by christmas week...hoping that you get to tell everyone hun x x xwhat a lovely day that will be x x hang in there it is a toughy cos you have had 2 x 2ww in one month really x x x

chriss what a bummmer you too are on the wait thingy ( i suppose we are all on a wait for something like kelly said) blooming ovaries not ovulating Hoping that AF is good to you and comes soon with the shot ( whats in it ???? is it progesterone) hng in there sweetie your time will come and then you'll be waiting agian on your 2ww Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! lots of love and LOL

carolyn- as you know i have been texting you and emailing you as i am POSITIVE the bleed was IMPLANTATION like i had....oh am so excited for you but it doesnt make the last week of the 2ww go any quicker...bummer x x x hang in there sweetie x x your embies are doing thier stuff so make sure you look after them and relax x x x i have told DH to make your dinner and get the massage oil out to rub your feet and back....did he hear me????

Jen1 woo hoo your GP is fab x x good thata she is helping you out on the adoption stuff...and as for the tests was that the hyperoscopy stuff??? all clear!!! good to hear hun that you need no operations etc x x xthings are on the up for you x x x

sonia am thinking of you cos your time is soon ...are you going for Et soon???? we need a new time line for you x x love and hugs

BIG J i know you must be on ET oon this week ( maybe today) thinking of ya in kiev. Hope little Josh is having fun there too!!! any snowmen being made??? x x xlove x x

Gill hun...know you are busy and i am thinking of ya too x x

Poochie soon be the real run...have you any dates yet???

andrea what did you decide in the end to do????

lucy when is exact date of flying out berfore appointment on the 6th???? am so excited that its your time soon and we may be in IM ( and jen1 too) together....

hi to everyone else x x x

have a good week everyone...i had my day off today...and have acu tomorrow woo hoo so catch ya wed
love jen
b
xxxx

[Sonix]

Hi everyone.

Glad to be back posting today. Sorry I haven’t been around just recently to support you all. We’re such a big group now so there must be some BFPs due very soon!!!

BigJ – Noooo, I can’t believe it. AF put a spanner in the works with me just recently too and my endo had always been fine so I can really sympathize there. Not fair that you couldn’t bring your embies home. But they are waiting for you and they’ll be home with you for Christmas! Big hugs xxx

JenB, you are doing such a wonderful job of supporting everyone here. Hope things are not too tough for you with work at the moment. It’s good that you can focus on starting next treatment with your frosties in Jan. Seems you’re gonna have lots of cycle buddies. If my ET doesn’t happen before Christmas, I might be joining you too.

Jen1 – I don’t know you too well but from what I do know, you are going to be an absolutely fab mum, “a natural” like Carolyn says. So no need to worry. Everyone including the social worker has real confidence in you so just take it as it comes and take your time. Glad to hear your Doc is supporting you with the immune testing and is on your side with adoption stuff. Good news!

Rhalloo – how are you doing? Sending you big hugs and hope you have plenty of good things planned for the holidays.

Carolyn – The 2WW seems to get harder each time doesn’t it. Any news from IM? Stay strong and try hard to stay positive. Wishing you and DH all the luck in the world for your dream to come true.

Do keep your tummy warm. Warm soups help too. I try and stock our freezing compartment up with home-made soups and stews around start of treatment. Means you’ve always got some good quality food at hand, even if you don’t have time to cook. Oooh, that makes me sound all organised, doesn’t it?

Kelly – better to stay neutral, I know, but your symptoms are sounding good. Hoping and praying for it to be your time this time. You’re doing so well so just hang on in there.

Gill – hope things are moving forward for you very soon and that you get some news and next steps to focus on. Not long now to your ski trip in Lapland. I’m sure that will do you a world of good and help you regain strength. There’s loads of snow here already but I didn’t feel up to sking this weekend so DH went without me. Hmm. Wish I’d gone now.

Welcome, Judy. Pleased that you’ve found us here. Actually I’m in Germany and am having treatment in Poland so can’t really help you out with advice on clinics but am sure you’ll find lots of information here on this site. I don’t know what I’d do without it. All the best for your decisions.

Chriss – how frustrating it is to be waiting so long for ovulation and not knowing when you can go ahead with treatment. I really feel for you there. Any sign of AF yet? Hope you will be back on track soon.

Rebeccaj – good to hear from you again and glad you are feeling great. Thank you for keeping us updated with your news. It’s helping us all keep the faith…hope more of us will be coming to join you very soon…

My first test went OK, no bacteria found. Next scan to check for cysts is on Thursday. If all goes to plan, I’ll get the go-ahead to start my injections on Saturday (yuk!), which is cycle day 21. Nevertheless I can’t really get so excited this time. It’s the next stage, not knowing how I will react to the meds when it comes to building up my lining, which is making me anxious. Dare I say it… ET could be any time from mid Dec to mid Jan.

At least at work, luck seems to be on my side. The projects have been re-distributed in the department so there’s no overseas travel involved in the near future. Phew! I’m not going to worry about what will happen in January just yet.

A big hello to all I missed this time, I’m thinking of you.
Lots of love to you strong and wonderful women. Thank you for being there!

Sonia
Xxxx

[Kiwi expat]

Hi ladies - remember me? - Oh indecisive one! Straddling the fence between one last chance to use my own eggs and crossing the great divide in to Egg head land! Well I must confess I have been lurking again in the background and have to say you really are a fantastic bunch of girls!

Just an update on my thoughts if you have a moment (sorry about the repeat if you are on the "Over 40's thread!)...

I can summ it all up with a wee story

Quite a few years ago, my mum bought a race horse (quite a common thing in NZ!) and whilst it was training on a practise start, the gates failed to open and the horse was thrown up against the gates. (Luckily the poor wee thing wasn't hurt badly). As a result, the horses career as the next "Pharlap" of the circuit was over, as every time he was up at it starting gates, he would suffer stage fright from the memory of that false start. So we put it out to pasture and some lucky kid got a beautiful thorobred horse as a riding pet!

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I feel like that damn horse every time I think about doing a cycle using my own eggs!!! - not that I feel like I should be put out to pasture just yet! (Am I going mad or what?!) The trauma of my last miscarriage is just too much for me (I was hospitalised for 5 weeks before and after it because I was spotting all the time). Now, in my own misguided way, I am still gearing up for a Dec cycle (using my own eggs), and it seems to be getting further and further away now as I just found out that my clinic's embryologist is taking his annual holidays over the new year (How dare he..??!! ha ha!). I've been on DHEA now for 14 weeks and religiously swallowing those foul tasting herbs for the last 6/7 months so am in some sort of weird no man's land now, where emotionally I want to give my own eggs all I have, but rationally, the sensible side in me says DE is a surer and faster route to reaching that ever elusive dream of ours...!

Anyway, my DH is getting sick of me crapping on about this (thank goodness I can rant in cyber space!) and I'm giving myself a deadline to move on. We are seeing our RE this Sat for good chat. This could be the make or break decision time!
Thanks for all your great advice and cheery anedotes! I will promise to keep you updated and who knows, may bite the bullet one day (soon) and cross over the great divide!
Have a great week everyone!
Andrea

[Jen1d]

Hi

Big J
Sorry about your cycle but glad you had a nice time.

Andrea -
Good luck for saturday.

Carolyn -


Having a strange day, head is all over the place and i'm just so confused.
Plan is FET in Jan then keep going with the adoption plan and hopefully FET will work and i will have everything-------hahaha dont see that happening.

We would love to keep going on and try again but cant afford anymore. Plus even though i would keep going, there is only so much my body can take and i feel at some point i will have to come to terms with my situation and move on---although i cant just now. I cant throw more money away---for what?? and emotionally its awful. If i had my own eggs it would be easier but i dont know where to get some if i do it over here with my free cycle, which should be in about a year??????????
I desperately want to be pregnant and experience a baby, my baby but that has been taken from me already and i have to live with the pain for the rest of my life. So donor was the next best thing and even with the best embies, its not working. I am just so frustrated as everyone keeps telling me there is nothing wrong with me---so why does it not work. I would feel better if i had something wrong then i could move on but i will always have that feeling of --i should try again and again and again---how much do i put myself through. I would keep trying but dont have the funds and also feel i am getting older. I dont want to be an even older mum than i am now so probably adoption is the only way forward. Its not a 100% what i want but its my only hope of being a mum. I know i can love a child, if it is young enough but i will always grieve for my own baby.

Sorry not having having a great day and at this stage i just want to try every month but cant although i am also excited that i am nearer to getting a baby but along with that is mixed emotions as its not mine. Dh just wants to share the experience with me whether its our baby or not---he is a star.

Hope everyone is ok

Love Jen x

[taylorjools]

Jen1d - oh biggest of all hugs sweeeeeeeeeetie

you will be a mom, somehow, doesnt matter how, you will be a mum and with a diamond dh, well its a cert.
If its an adoption yes youll miss out on being pg, but you know, I have two step kids that I love to bits and I know them just since they were 4 years old, and I am only part time in their lives, but I know I have changed their lives, and they mine, and we love eachother. And thats complex as they have their own mum too. So adoption must be easier than that.

If we dont succeed in our next go I am seriously thinking about adoption abroad (too old to do it here) or even fostering, I would love Joshi to have siblings around him.

Just a special big hug from me
BigJ

[rebeccaj]

Hi Ladies,

I wanted to share a story with you. During IVF cycle number 3 (4th was our lucky one), I was waiting in the waiting room with my DH when in walks someone from work. Well there are 500 people at work but this guy happened to be one that I used to work directly with and DH knew him really well. I was mortified as was he (by the look on his face). We weren't even telling close friends about our treatment let alone announcing it to work! anyway, we nodded to each other and lefft it at that. Two weeks later he and his wife were there again and we were sat next to each other waiting for bloods. We got talking and it turned out she too was on the 3rd go. I thought about them a lot but the lunch queue was not the place to ask how they were doing. My 3rd time was a failure, as was hers. I went on to have treatment with my sister and they started to look at other options. She had had a BFP with her first go but had miscarried, leaving one (in her words) "crappy quality" blast in the freezer and then gone of to have 2 more fresh cycles, both BFN's with no frosties. As they made up their minds what to do next, they decided to transfer the "crappy" blast. the poor thing had been in the freezer for over a year and it was more a case of passing time than anything else. Well I sent them an email the other day to tell them my news as I didn't want them to here on the work grapevine. Turns out that Crappy frostie hung in there and she is now 12 weeks pregnant. Just shows you that Science isn't everything.

So for all you with BFN's but frosties, or impanted blasts that weren't graded A Plus, have faith as miracles do happen.

Jen, when I heard this story I thought of you and whether it's adoption or frosties or fostering (or abduction) you will become a mummy and you'll be a fab one.

Take care all

XXX

[Jen1d]

REBECCAJ THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY, ITS LOVELY. I JUST HOPE MY LAST 2 FROSTIES CAN HANG IN THERE FOR ME???????

THANKS FOR THINKING OF ME AS ALWAYS, EVERYONE OF YOU.

JUST HAVING A FEW DOWN DAYS, BUT WILL BOUNCE BACK AS ALWAYS. THERE ARE A LOT OF OTHER THINGS GOING ON WITH WORK AND FAMILY AND I COULD DO WITHOUT IT ALL---HEYHO THATS LIFE EH.

OFF TO WORK SOON AND WILL CATCH UP TOMORROW

LOVE JEN XX

[Kiwi expat]

RebeccaJ - that is an amazing story! I have some frosties left but had automatically 'written them off' as all 3 of my previous FET have been miserable failures. The poor wee things didn't even survived the thawing process or were BFN's. Your story has given me some hope!

Jen1d - you will definitely not be an 'old' mum! You are still on the right side of 40, which is a start! Loads of my friends are just becoming first time mums in their late thirties and early forties!

Sonia - Great news about not having to travel for a bit. It's just one less thing to stress about when you're under going treatment!

JenB - You sound awfully organised doing some Xmas shopping now - good on ya! (Secretly jealous that I'm not that organised!)

BigJ - It's amazing that after all we have to go through to get pregnant, some of you have to travel to other countries on top of that! Good luck for next time.

Chriss - Me too - I'm a woman of very little patience - I hate this waiting game - No hate is too weak a word - 'Detest' and 'loathe' come to mind...! Doing a crazy AF jig for you!

Good luck to those ladies on the 2ww - Carolyn and Kelly.

Wow- this is such a big group, I'm bound to have missed some out but HI to all!

Just rereading my mammoth post up there - sorry about the dramatics! I'm slowly pulling myself out of a very large pit of self despair and will be back to my normal self soon(whatever that is!).

Take care all,
Andrea

[jen babes]

hey girls just popped into say a quick hi...

BIG J welcome home ...last post we must have posted at same time...sorry about the wait for you but i think that there is always a reason for a delay...Hoping that all your embies continue to grow after the freeze and dec brings you a fab pressie for all your family.

andrea....never apologise wee all vent on this thread.. you needed to let rip and am glad you did....hope you come to a decision soon x x x

rebecca had a tear in my eye reading that ppost x x told dh about it too. we have never had frosties and am so wary of the lower % of takers ...so worry that its a no hoper...just shows you that there is always a positive side x x xthanks for sharing...know it was for jen 1 but i got a lot too x x x

carolyn hang in there...am hoping and praying for you x x x

jen1 sweetie ((((huuugs)))) you are such a fighter but sometimes i just want to to give in and cry in my arms ...i'll hold ya x x x much love to ya x x x

gill thinking of ya x x x

chriss any AF yet????

kelly= hun this is last 2ww cos its gonna be BFP for you hun... you are so strong doing 2 cycles in 1 month hun x x x good luck x x x

sonia hows you ??? hwre re you in tmt???

much love to everyone x x xi have missed

it's the england footie game just now (yawn) [ for those who dont know i am scottish ( scos footie team is out of uefa) and DH is english so we have to watch. the football game ...
but guess what the lovely lad brought in champers and chocs tonight ( 2 bottles on special in tesco).... mnnnnnn are yo jealous ou 2ww-ers??????
so we are merrily cuddling on the sofa inbetween shouting at the ref ( and players) ...
ah shucks i love my man he is a sweetie x x x

But where is beckham????

love and hugs to ya all
jen Bxxx

[jen babes]

oops

love and hugs to ya all
jen Bxxx

[CarolynB]

Thanks for keep pulling me along. That is what it feels like right now.

Kelly - how are you feeling my 2ww bud. The sypmtoms sound good for you but can also understand the protectionalism and the wild yoo yooing around. I too have though what a fab Xams pressie for my dh and all my family but..............

BigJ - what a total bummer. Could not believe your news. AF. How can that be????!!!! She never ever arrives at the correct time. It is good news that you have a good crop of frosties to go back for

Jen1d - it is great that your dr is being supportive on all fronts. Hope that she can get back to you on the immune tests. I am sorry that you are down right now. You need to focus on you & your dh rather than trying to help everyone else. You need all your energies to get ready for the snow babies and start the adoption process moving ahead too. Thanks for your daily dose of encouragement to me. You really have been a rock for me

Rebecca - thank you for the story and for giving us all hope. Hope that you feeling well

Sonia - phew - great news that you don't have to travel - you could have used that like a whole in the head. Thanks for the advice. Have been trying to keep my tummy warm - although hard as blimin freezing over here right now!Glad that the 1st test went well. Good luck for tomorrow and then starting on Saturday. So hope that it will work for you this time. Every cycle can be quite different in terms of how our body responds

Anna - thanks for the PM. You are a sweetie. Keep holding on to the fact that things happened 'late' for you with Matthew and trying not to give up 100% just yet

Gill - hope that you are all packed and ready for your hols. Thanks for the texts. You really are a very kind lady

JB - thanks for all the info - fellow IMer and research bud!! Let me know if you got the message of the immune tests. Just been having some issues with my yahoo account and want to know it got to you. Glad that your moto home is back tomorrow and you can disappear at the weekend. Enjoy. You need some chill out time after you have been through so much. You really are doing well with the Xmas shopping and also going out and having some fun with friends. You are allowed tears bud. It is all still recent for you but you are doing so well. Thanks for all the supportive messages babe - people at work stare as I get so many texts!!

Chriss - the waiting is so hard. I have to break it into small steps and milestones and just knock one down after the next

Andrea - they are hard hard choices. My dh hates talking things through too so that is what we are all here for. At the end of the day, the donor eggs will still be there for you. Sure it is more time and more waiting but age is a non-issue when you have donor eggs. So if you can marshall the reserves then might make sense to have one final go with your own eggs. It seems like you have put the leg work in and you don't want to live thinking if only................. Your instinct will tell you what to do. We'll be here for you when you are ready babe

Lucy - your appointment is not far away now

Vicki - where are you? Think that I will be cycling with you if I can go again in the New Year???

Hugs to everyone else. US girls - have a great Thanksgiving.

So IM did get back to me on Monday morning. Said not to panic or give up - yeah right. That if it got red that I could double the dose of drugs.
Now the meds have got me over Day 11 then I am much less stressed and way more relaxed. However, I really have been preparing myself and those who know that we have done treatment for the worst. Just feel nothing going on at all. No cramping. No sore boobs. No back pains. Nothingness. No tears, just like resignedness to the outcome. Just sense that the embies never do much when they get inside me - either as there is an issue inside (like Jen I have had all the tests and there seems to be no issue) or else as the eggs stop as there is an issue with my dh's sperm (based on what we have read and been told then often stop growing on Day 4 if there is a male issue). Have convined myself that IM will suggest double donation so my next challenge will be to convince my dh that would be ok. I am not sure what he will feel and he will take it better if that comes from IM rather than me.

Guess that emotionally and financially, I have 1 more Fresh cycle in me. It helps me to plan now so that I know what will happen afterwards.

Have asked IM if I could do blood test at the weekend - Saturday would be 14 days post transfer and Sunday 15 days after the ET. Just not sure how I would deal with getting call at work on a Monday morning - especially as I have a meeting with the investment bank Morgan Stanley!!!! Let's hope that they at least allow me this.

Love to you all. Not sure how I would get through this without you all.
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxxx

[AMck]

Hi Ladies, sorry haven't posted for a while, life is rather busy at the moment..........but am still here, reading the posts, thinking of you all and cheering you on from the sidelines.

Carolyn and Kelly, go go go ....can't wait to hear about your BFP's!!!

Good luck to all cycling at the moment and hugs to those with recent BFN's

Keep the faith o' brave and courageous ladies, dreams can come true
Hugs
Anna x

[CarolynB]

Well I wrote to IM/Barcelona and asked whether I really had to test on a Monday morning when I will be at work. Which is 16 days post transfer.

They said that my normal test date would be Saturday - they just don't say weekend test date (JB - that answers your question!) as not sure how girls/clinics will be able to accomodate.

So my test is now two days away. Feel nothing at all. But at least that will give me the weekend to get to grips with the result.

Thanks for everything. Hang in there Kelly.

Lots of Love
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxx

[kellym]

Carolyn, that is fantastic that you get to test on Saturday!!! I am so envious! My clinic moved my test date up to Monday but that still seems like a long time from now! Getting the results on Saturday will be great! Hang in there hun, you are almost there!! Can't wait to hear the news!!!

BigJ - that is so frustrating about AF - what is with her? The good news is that you have lots of frosties waiting for you!!!

Sonia - great news about avoiding the travel to Asia! Thanks for the soup/warm foods advice - I have been living off of soup so I am happy to hear that it is suggested! Glad the test went well and hopefully Saturday will be start day for you!

Anna - thanks for all the support!

Gill - almost time to hit the slopes! Lucky you! What a fun time you will have!

JenB - you are an awesome support! I sure hope that you are doing okay and are preparing for your FET in January. Can't wait to hear about your BFP then!!!

Andrea - I have had the same struggle as you. I was ready to give up on my own eggs because I felt that donor eggs would provide a surer and faster way to our ultimate goal of being pregnant. But, we gave it one last try and now I am waiting to hear the results on Monday! If this one doesn't work, then donor eggs it is. It is a tough choice and I can totally understand the struggle to decide! No one has told methat my eggs are the reason that this IVF thing hasn't worked but since we've ruled out almost everything else I figure what is left but the eggs? Anyway, we'll see what happens on Monday and what my next steps will be! Take care!

Lucy - guess you are getting excited about your upcoming appointment! Not long now!

Jen1 - how are you doing? hope that 2008 brings you a house full of babies through your FET and adoption!! Next Christimas may be a very busy one for you!!!

Well, I am just counting the days to Monday (my clinic moved my test day up one for me) to find out. I am really hopeful about this one but trying to keep my emotions in check since I've had 2 chemicals already. Thankfully work is busy this week so the days are flying by and I have no time to dwell on my symptoms! I sure hope this is lucky #8 for us!!!

Take care and have a fantastic day!!!