DONOR EGG Tmt Thread... " Egg-heads"

[kellym]

Well, AF arrived this morning which is typical when I get BFN. The painful part (well, other than the bfn itself) is that I still have to go into the clinic for blood work and then later get the call to tell me that it is bfn. Oh well, I suppose I should be used to it now.

My DH and I have decided to try donor eggs now so we'll be jetting off to Czech Republic for that sometime in early 2008. Gosh, I sure hope that is the solution to the baby dream of ours!

I know I've been a part of this thread for quite while now but I guess I am at the point where any advice/suggestions about donor eggs would be helpful. Any suggestions on what questions I should be sure to ask?

I am so worried that even if we do donor eggs that it may not be the solution to our infertility - since they have no idea why it isn't working for us. But I guess we won't know until we try. This process is so cruel.

It is my DH's birthday on Wednesday so today we have to go to his family's for the afternoon to celebrate - that last thing I am interested in doing right now.

Take care.

[chriss]

My heart goes out to you Kelly. I am so sorry. It is just not fair to us. It will take time, but remember we are here for you and we all understand how it hurts. Use us to vent to. We all really care. When you are ready, you can open the door to DE. You've been preparing yourself for this and you have a great attitude about it. Time will be the best thing right now. I am sorry that you need to go in today for beta. It does seem cruel. My first IVF I had a beta of 9 and although they knew it was not viable, they made me stay on PIO shots and come back two days later for another Beta. How miserable I felt. I can relate to how you feel about going back in. I can also relate to not wanting to go out and celebrate today. Do it for your DH. Putting the "Happy Face" on is such a pain in the butt. Chin up girl. We are strong, we have to be to be going through all of this and keep coming back for me. We are with you. - chriss

[Jen1d]

Carolyn and Kelly



I'm so sad for you both and am here is you want to chat anytime. Love to you both.

Kelly - I have had donor eggs from Barcelona, one fresh cycle and one FET then have 2 embies waiting until Jan so fire away if you need to know anything, i will try to help.

Chriss - Good luck with the stimming x

Jen x

[rebeccaj]

Carolyn, Kelly, i was so sorry to read your sad news. This whole process is so unfair. don't give up hope.

sending lots of love, Rebecca

[CarolynB]

Dear Kelly

I am so sorry that it has not worked for you. You would not wish this hurt on your worst enemy, let alone brave strong ladies who just want to be good parents.

Totally agree that the blood work adds insult to injury. I did not go on ivf 3 as just could not face and my clinic rang and I gave them an ear ful!!! Bad girl that I am

Anyway, try to take small steps. Yesterday was awful for me. Today I can function a little. Try to take a day at a time. Small steps.

Totaly understand the not wanting to go out thing. My dh dragged me out the house today kicking and screaming but made me feel better to just go outside and have some brunch.

I made a list of questions to ask at our first DE appointment. If you are interested then just PM me your e-mail and I would be happy to send to you.

Big hugs. Look after yourself.

Lots of Love
Carolyn
xxxxxx

PS - thanks for everything girls. Have stopped crying and screaming today. My eyes are so sore that there was no more left. Never seen my dh is such a state ever (may be when he lost his Mum) which has made this one hard for both of us. We will wait for info from Barcelona before we decide what next. A 6th Fresh cycle is a big commitment for both of us. Not desparate to make a plan which is different from before. Decided to focus on Xmas and work (very busy as ever) for now and then see what changes could be made if we cycled again or see whether we feel like it is better to get our life back

[Sonix]

Dear Carolyn and Kelly

I’m so sorry to read your sad news. It’s just so unfair that you’re having to go through so much pain. Sending you love and big hugs
Thinking of you both.

Sonia
xxx

[Kiwi expat]

Kelly and Carolyn - I'm really guttered for the both of you... I know it's such a b*tch to put on a happy face when you're feeling so miserable inside.

Take time to heal - then have yourselves a damn good Xmas! We'll all start a fresh in the new year and hopefully it will bring us all the good news we all deserve!

Take care all,
Andrea

[Jen1d]

Hi girls

Just wanted to let you know i'm away on a sleepover at work so wont be able to catch up until maybe tomorrow night.

Thinking of you all especially Kelly and Carolyn just now----we all know how they feel and its just sooooooo awful. ((((((((HUGS))))))))

Love Jen x

[jen babes]

all SH**

i am so gutted for you both x x x sad is'nt the word. You have both been through so much so many tests and cycles i was hoping that this was the one...We could so do with some happy news on this thread x x x
much love and big hugs to ya both x x x

Chriss you are stimming now ..woo hooooooooo. It must be hard to put your heart and SOUL into it as its may be your last own egg cycle BUT thats what you have to remember. Its worth giving this a final push cos Chriss you will regret it if you dont put your all behind it hun . x x we are here cheering you on and yes it is hard and a stress not kowing how your body will cope, but unless you are cheering your body on, it wont be happy and repsond. Gosh i hope i dont sound too harsh here just want you to know you have done your best hun. tell me to shut up if you want as i just want to be a friend and that means sometime pushing you a little and also helping .it must be a stress about all the needles, i cant understand why they cant dispose of them for you ...strange and maddening for ya...the shots are hard yes...but they help keep the baby there when you get preggers, is it only to 12 wks you take the blood thinners or all they way through preg????Hugs and much love to ya sweetie x x x


Lucy not long now huh!!! do you know what doc you are going to see????
athena is it??? and for how many days are you going for ??? sounds like you may be the next IM 2wwer..How exciting hun!!!!

Big J any AF yet???? any dates yet for DEC??? I would like to change the list for ya do you have approx dates and how many frosties???? thank hun hope all is well with ya x x x

Hi to jen gill poochie rebecca rhalloo sonia judy and MIA-kim also any one i haev missed off sorry

well we had a good weekend full of talks and going over every scenario imaginable...me wanting 2 more trys at IM before calling it a day and DH eventually plumping for just 1. ( although he does really want to call it a day now as he has had enough) so we are awaitng next step from dr redendo to see what to do.
i have come back with a head cold and blocked sinuses so am yeuky and fed up...like us all i suppose. I have acually managed to get some christmasy stuff so hoping that that goes better than i wass hoping for ....roll on 2008 and a better year for us all x x x

love jen B
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[gill12]

Dear Carolyn & Kelly
I am so sorry, this is all just so cruel and unfair.
I am thinking of you and sending you {{{HUGS}}}}

Lots of love
Gill xxx

Hi to everyone else, I am thinking of you all
Take care everyone. xxx

[AMck]

Hi Ladies

Carolyn and Kelly, what can I say? So upset for you both. This is so unfair. Sending big hugs your way. Look after yourselves and Dh's.

Have been away for weekend and just popped in to check on our two 2wwers.... will read up soon and post again.

Hope everyone else Ok

Bye for now
Anna x

[Kiwi expat]

Hi all - wish there was more good news on this thread but 2008 WILL be THE year for all of us...!

Well, Ms Ambivelent is still here- sitting on fence about things for a bit longer. Last Sat, my RE enrolled us for rare opportunity for a DE sharing scheme for next month(!!), which if it comes through we'll have some DE frosties on hold. It will be too late to synchronise our cycles at this late stage. I'm keeping my fingers crossed but I'm not sure that the Donor will consent to share at the moment but I'm so hoping. (Please, please, please!) My RE still thinks I can still cycle next month with my own eggs if I wanted to since I've been priming up for this one last go but DH is pushing to go straight to DE as he is coming to the end of his rope with all this... Also AF usual comes 2nd week of the month which may mean Xmas day EC and New years (eve) transfer (knowing my luck!!). The embryologist also takes his annual leave end Dec so there is a possibility, if I do have a fresh cycle it won't be until Jan 08 now! Decisions, decisions! At least I have a plan B in place now so am slowly getting my head around things (but apparently not fast enough for DH)...

Chriss - what a trauma my dear! And over something that shouldn't really need thinking about. Can you collect more than one container next time you are at your pharmacy - enough to dispose of all your needles until the next time?

Jen B - Sweetie, I've already replied to you on the Over 40's thread - Don't give up! Please don't make any important decisions until you and your DH are feeling back to normal, so all your emotions don't cloud the outcome. Ask IM about transfering the frosties to your local clinic so you can use them anytime at a later stage, then you won't regret giving them up. Then go for that one last fresh cycle as well!

Jen1d - Love all those little smileys - they crack me up!

Thanks for all your support ladies - will keep you updated.

Still thinking of you Kelly and Carolyn - hope you are feeling better with each day...

Andrea

[Jen1d]

Hi gang

Andrea - Poor thing, so many decisions and so confusing. At least i will have another cycle buddy in Jan 08. Here is a little pic just for you since they make you smile.


Still no application form from the s/w, so just emailed her and she is sending another out first class. Makes me mad, this is the first stage and she cant even get that right

Got an appointment next Wed with my consultant at the hospital to discuss the results of my op. She will just say that i am fine, there is nothing wrong and i have to keep tryng Will ask her for the next £20.000 then eh.

Thinking of you all, will try and pop back later but have to study as i have my class tomorrow.

Love Jen x

[kellym]

Hi Everyone,

Slowly feeling a bit more human but this round seems to be hitting me harder than the others. I think perhaps because we know will be heading overseas (8 hours flight) to get to my next cycle. It seems like a much bigger impact on my life that just driving to the clinic which is 15 mins from my house.

The hardest thing this weekend was telling me mom who started to cry. She has been such a pillar of strength for me but I think she wants this to work as much as we do and is devastated that it is so hard.

I haven't heard back from my consultant yet about timing for the DE cycle. I wish they would respond because I'd like to know the timing.

My clinic (in Toronto) didn't even ask us this time what our next steps are going to be. Its like they've just written us off. We feel that because we now have had 4 failed cycles (plus a failed FET) with then that they just want us to go away - we aren't good for the stats. They've been so good up until now and we feel very abandoned. At the very least they should be suggesting that we either go the DE route (they've never suggested that) or give us (they've never suggested that). They just called told me the beta was negative and said bye - it was very strange. I asked whether I should get further testing and she said "I'll let you know". What the heck does that mean? They are closing on Friday for a month to do renovations and that is her response. Strange. I suppose I don't really care because we know we are going to Czech but still, we should be treated better than that.

Sorry for my ranting email! I am hoping that my PMA returns soon!!!

Hope everyone is doing really well! I will get back to personals once I am feeling a bit better ! But I am thinking of you and thankful that I have you guys to lean on. I just wish we were all close enough that we could get together for some drinks and a big tub of ice cream with multiple spoons!!!

[jen babes]

kelly
be knid to yourself ..part of grieving is anger and loss you are experiencing loss from your 8th BFN and then loss of using your own eggs. think a clean slate is best and another clinic would be better anyway. even f that clininc was only 15mins away... Rant and ave all you like i do think that they have their thoughts on other things and not yu at this moment. can you not write and angry letter to them, and wether you post it or not doesnt matter. it about getting the anger out at them for being so @#$% horrible to you at this time... x x hugs to ya x x x

jen1 well done on getting so much studying done ... dont know how you can do it ...well done though if you can finish it before next adoption classes and FET x x xwoo hoo cant wait to cheer ya on with FET...it's your 3rd cycle at IM and odds are for ya sweetie for a BFP x x

Sonia hows the tmt going??? all to plan this time i hope..please let us know how you are!!!!

Andrea ah sweetie what a dilema...no wonder you aer still sitting on the fence...I have a feeling something big is v=coming your way and its the right choice just now to sit there.You will make us your own heart and mind soon x x x hugs to ya x x x

carolyn ... guess you will be busy working flat out for a while hun x x x sending you many many hugs and much love x x x hope you hear from Im soon x x x

as for all you other eggheads x x xthanks for listening and being there for me and everyone else x x you are all wondeful and great buddies. It keeps me going this site x x x
IM have contacted me ...as its our last cycle they want me to have an investigative hysteroscopy ( check shape of womb and for polps fibroids etc) and doppler to check lining & blood flow there. I have also asked for immune tests they dont think i need but i want becsaue of MS...so it will add up to about #1500 (pounds) if we go to IM or #4670 if we go to Glasgow privately??? London wont take us privatley ???????
amazing differance in price eh!!! okay we still have flights and hotel to book for IM but hey what a differance.
Am seeing my GP on friday 1st just to check in case we can have it done on nhs ( doubt it but have to cover all bases eh!!!! well i am Scottish )
so it looks like ...after Christmas for tests ( jan or feb )then FET in march x x x working on that this will be our last one is hard x x x
I have never had a FET before but still have 30% chance the IM doc said better than 3% with own eggies x x x working on it x x x to build up my PMA for FET

catch ya all later am so tired and fighting a cough cold so going to chill x x x
love jen b
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